Liking vs Attraction

**madroses4life** · 09-28-2010, 02:35 PM

Is there a difference between liking someone and being attracted?

**emw1981** · 09-28-2010, 02:56 PM

absolutely. im attracted to colin ferrell, but the man would drive me nuts (well, i think he would according to interviews on tv) so therefore, i wouldnt "like" him.
and i like men im not necessarily attracted to. thru liking them-i end up attracted to them though.
however, i suppose it depends on what "attraction" is. initially, i thought attraction had something to do with looks...however, i can be "attracted" to ones personality-and therefore-i may "like" them for it-so in that sense, it may be the same.
i still find, more often than not, that i am "attracted" to a lot of people-but i dont necessarily like them.

**katrin** · 09-28-2010, 04:43 PM

Yes. I like a lot of people but I don't want to touch all of them.

**Lenavis** · 09-28-2010, 10:45 PM

sure. Attraction is mainly physical, while liking is mostly emotional.

**Fox** · 09-29-2010, 12:48 PM

Attraction makes you want to have sex with them. Liking makes you want to stay with them.

**elizabeth lover** · 09-29-2010, 12:50 PM

i'd say they are completely independent of eachother, maybe not for males, though.

**irini** · 09-29-2010, 12:54 PM

Liking. We usually can like a lot of people but we are really attracted to very few.

**Deliberator** · 09-29-2010, 12:56 PM

there most certainly is. In my opinion, one is an attraction to the personality whereas the other is an attraction to the physical appearance.

**Ilara** · 09-29-2010, 12:59 PM

I like tons and tons of people to whom I'm not attracted.

If we're talking romantic "like"...

For me the two are quite closely intertwined; I'm not attracted to people unless I like them.

Deliberator put it well in the post above. Basically, if you like somebody romantically you enjoy their company and personality; if you find somebody attractive, you are sexually interested in that person's body.

**katrin** · 09-29-2010, 01:59 PM

	Originally Posted by Lenavis To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	sure. Attraction is mainly physical, while liking is mostly emotional.

For an "F", the desire to touch someone and get physical with them can actually be an emotional desire. Not even necessarily "love", but more or different than pure sensuality.

**Seriously** · 09-29-2010, 02:20 PM

	Originally Posted by Fox To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Attraction makes you want to have sex with them. Liking makes you want to stay with them.

Yes that sums it up quite nicely for me. I can be attracted to you without liking you and I can like you without being attracted to you...but the combination of both, that is what makes for a relationship.

**Aardwolf** · 09-29-2010, 02:32 PM

I find that the difference between liking someone and attraction is that if I like them, I will care about them and try to pursue them. With just attraction, if the opportunity to sleep with them comes up, I might take it, but if not, I won't try too hard to woo them.

**Deliberator** · 09-29-2010, 02:38 PM

	Originally Posted by katrin To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	For an "F", the desire to touch someone and get physical with them can actually be an emotional desire. Not even necessarily "love", but more or different than pure sensuality.

I'd say lust is always an emotion, isn't it?

**katrin** · 09-29-2010, 02:49 PM

	Originally Posted by Deliberator To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'd say lust is always an emotion, isn't it?

Yeah, but I agree with the scientists who categorize it with the primal "reptile brain" emotions along with fear, appetite, agression (and ??).

I was talking about something else, I'm not sure it has a name but it can be found along with infatuation and with love. "Longing" maybe? The desire for attraction and infatuation to lead to real love and when in love, the desire for the love to deepen over time? Unraveling the mystery of the partner?

Maybe it's just (a softened kind of) lust for someone I like rather than regular lust, which could potentially be felt for someone I don't like.

**Sali** · 09-29-2010, 02:54 PM

Liking seems like a subjective term and I'm not really sure where to define it in my mind, I can distinguish between affection and attraction but "Liking" seem like too generic of a term.

**Deliberator** · 09-29-2010, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by katrin
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Yeah, but I agree with the scientists who categorize it with the primal "reptile brain" emotions along with fear, appetite, agression (and ??).

I was talking about something else, I'm not sure it has a name but it can be found along with infatuation and with love. "Longing" maybe? The desire for attraction and infatuation to lead to real love and when in love, the desire for the love to deepen over time? Unraveling the mystery of the partner?

Maybe it's just (a softened kind of) lust for someone I like rather than regular lust, which could potentially be felt for someone I don't like.

Perhaps you are talking about the need for intimacy. It is distinct, I agree.

**katrin** · 09-29-2010, 04:11 PM

	Originally Posted by Deliberator To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Perhaps you are talking about the need for intimacy. It is distinct, I agree.

Yes, I think that's it. I have trouble putting words to emotions. Is intimacy (from a romantic relationship) really a need though? Many people live without it and seem okay, even happy.

**Deliberator** · 09-29-2010, 04:21 PM

	Originally Posted by katrin To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Yes, I think that's it. I have trouble putting words to emotions. Is intimacy (from a romantic relationship) really a need though? Many people live without it and seem okay, even happy.

It's a legitimate need for some (I'd even say most) people, including us cold-hearted Thinkers. Personally I need cuddles sometimes, but I don't realize it because I'm busy thinking about other things.

**mindstate** · 09-29-2010, 05:21 PM

Sure, I think that's normal. I'm currently attracted to someone I don't like. It's like appreciating a piece of art, I don't want to cuddle with it/talk to it, I just let it's beauty speak to me.

**OrangeAppled** · 09-29-2010, 07:21 PM

Attraction, to me, means I am drawn to someone. It could be physical, mental, and/or emotional. It does not have to be romantic. I am attracted to my platonic friends - something about them draws me to them. For me, liking someone is a milder version of attraction. I enjoy the person, but don't feel drawn to them. I probably won't seek them out. Unfortunately, I am occasionally attracted to someone who I don't like very much. I am not masochistic, so I don't enter relationships with them.

For romance to occur, I need physical, mental, and emotional attraction, as well as liking them in a general way. Usually it starts with one form of attraction and liking them, and then I see if the other two forms of attraction will come into play.

A lot of this has to do with the fact that I tend to form a few, deep friendships and most other people are merely friendly acquaintances.

09-28-2010, 02:35 PM	#1
madroses4life Banned MBTI: XNTJ Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 86	Is there a difference between liking someone and being attracted?
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09-28-2010, 02:56 PM	#2
emw1981 Member [04%] MBTI: intj Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 187	absolutely. im attracted to colin ferrell, but the man would drive me nuts (well, i think he would according to interviews on tv) so therefore, i wouldnt "like" him. and i like men im not necessarily attracted to. thru liking them-i end up attracted to them though. however, i suppose it depends on what "attraction" is. initially, i thought attraction had something to do with looks...however, i can be "attracted" to ones personality-and therefore-i may "like" them for it-so in that sense, it may be the same. i still find, more often than not, that i am "attracted" to a lot of people-but i dont necessarily like them.
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09-28-2010, 04:43 PM	#3
katrin Core Member [191%] MBTI: INFP Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 7,668	Yes. I like a lot of people but I don't want to touch all of them.
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09-28-2010, 10:45 PM	#4
Lenavis New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 45	sure. Attraction is mainly physical, while liking is mostly emotional.
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09-29-2010, 12:48 PM	#5
Fox Member [45%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,839	Attraction makes you want to have sex with them. Liking makes you want to stay with them.
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09-29-2010, 12:50 PM	#6
elizabeth lover Banned MBTI: intj Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 804	i'd say they are completely independent of eachother, maybe not for males, though.
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09-29-2010, 12:54 PM	#7
irini Core Member [184%] MBTI: eNFj Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 7,364	Liking. We usually can like a lot of people but we are really attracted to very few.
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09-29-2010, 12:56 PM	#8
Deliberator Core Member [122%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 4,884	there most certainly is. In my opinion, one is an attraction to the personality whereas the other is an attraction to the physical appearance.
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09-29-2010, 12:59 PM	#9
Ilara Veteran Member [95%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 3,835	I like tons and tons of people to whom I'm not attracted. If we're talking romantic "like"... For me the two are quite closely intertwined; I'm not attracted to people unless I like them. Deliberator put it well in the post above. Basically, if you like somebody romantically you enjoy their company and personality; if you find somebody attractive, you are sexually interested in that person's body.
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09-29-2010, 02:32 PM	#12
Aardwolf New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 2	I find that the difference between liking someone and attraction is that if I like them, I will care about them and try to pursue them. With just attraction, if the opportunity to sleep with them comes up, I might take it, but if not, I won't try too hard to woo them.
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09-29-2010, 02:54 PM	#15
Sali Member [04%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 182	Liking seems like a subjective term and I'm not really sure where to define it in my mind, I can distinguish between affection and attraction but "Liking" seem like too generic of a term.
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09-29-2010, 05:21 PM	#19
mindstate Member [27%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 1,114	Sure, I think that's normal. I'm currently attracted to someone I don't like. It's like appreciating a piece of art, I don't want to cuddle with it/talk to it, I just let it's beauty speak to me.
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09-29-2010, 07:21 PM	#20
OrangeAppled Member [07%] MBTI: INFP Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 284	Attraction, to me, means I am drawn to someone. It could be physical, mental, and/or emotional. It does not have to be romantic. I am attracted to my platonic friends - something about them draws me to them. For me, liking someone is a milder version of attraction. I enjoy the person, but don't feel drawn to them. I probably won't seek them out. Unfortunately, I am occasionally attracted to someone who I don't like very much. I am not masochistic, so I don't enter relationships with them. For romance to occur, I need physical, mental, and emotional attraction, as well as liking them in a general way. Usually it starts with one form of attraction and liking them, and then I see if the other two forms of attraction will come into play. A lot of this has to do with the fact that I tend to form a few, deep friendships and most other people are merely friendly acquaintances.
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