[JasonINTJ]

The Evil Leprechaun turned you into a beautiful vase filled with roses. As the roses, you were still alive. But then the Evil Leprechaun watered you with cyanide.

[gracious]

The Evil Lephrechaun grabbed you out of the crowd of St. Patty's day frolickers and spray painted you head to toe in green, lead-based paint.

[JasonINTJ]

*gasp* St. Patrick's Day is just around the corner. I can't wait to come to this thread on that day.

You were wearing one of those hats that lets you drink two beers (or something) at once through straws going to your mouth. The Leprechaun found you and decided to turn the straws into sharp tubes that stabbed into your temples. He filled your head up with lots of Irish whiskey until your head couldn't take it anymore and it exploded.

[jonnyb]

JasonINTJ catches the Evil Leprechaun and gets his 3 wishes:

Lifetime supply of Guinness beer
Every day to be St Patrick's Day
Unlimited Money

With your unlimited money, Guinness beer, and everyday being St Patrick's Day, you throw many parties. After a while, the empty beer bottles gather and you are simply having too much fun to do anything about it. Seeing an opportunity to get even (because the Evil Leprechaun will never let any wishes go un-punished), the Evil Leprechaun helps your feet start to slide around while you are trying to impress your party guests with your dancing. Oooops, you slip and fall, impelling yourself up the wanker with an empty beer bottle. As you go to get up, you slip again, this time breaking numerous beer bottles into large shards of glass. As everyone at your party sees this, they freak out and run, especially from the Evil Leprechaun. As they run away, they trample you, driving you face first into the shards of broken beer bottle glass and again impelling you, this time through your eyes deep enough to reach your brain. You stand up and in bouts of crazy un-coordination, you scream. Not being able to see, you trip over the Evil Leprechaun's leg that was conveniently in the way. You scream on the way down to the floor but are immediately silenced as you fall on a unscathed, unopened bottle of Guinness that impels you through your mouth and severs your spinal cord at the C-1/C-2 level at the brain stem. All your life sustaining bodily functions cease and the Evil Leprechaun pisses on the lifeless body of JasonINTJ.

[Sprelious]

Killed by the weight of your word count.

[venuspop]

Bored to death in this morning's meeting.

[JasonINTJ]

Fired by your manager (literally -- she's a firestarter).

[jonnyb]

JasonINTJ, just minding his own business late at night when all of sudden he got stomped on by a 900 foot Jesus while the city slept. Perhaps a little jalapeño and currant jelly to go along with the remnants of Jesus toe jam on today's round of JasonINTJ pancakes.

[JasonINTJ]

Preached to death by Mother Angelica while forced to listen to The Evil Leprechaun read The Bible on audiobook at the same time.


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[IronSulfide]

French kissed by Mother Angelica.

[gracious]

I stepped on the hem of her habit and she fell on you.

[Sprelious]

Let's not make that a habit or I'll have to shoot you. Too late, already did.

[gracious]

Crucified because I blamed Mother Angelica on you.

[jonnyb]

^ tried to imitate the dove that descended on Jesus when he was baptized by John the Baptist. She was expediently punished by death for the plagiaristic blasphemous offense.

[Sprelious]

Killed by Tommy and his gun.

[JasonINTJ]

Drowned in a giant washing machine filled with clown costumes.

[jonnyb]

Now that the clowns' costumes are defiled with the remains of Sprelious, the clowns make their new costume with the flesh of JasonINTJ.

[JasonINTJ]

All that hard work fashioning new outfits out of my flesh requires the clown to eat. And they're cannibals. And luckily you're nearby, jonnyb. Oven time.

[IronSulfide]

Force-fed a live rattlesnake.

[JasonINTJ]

The Evil Leprechaun turned you into INTJ Forum itself, only the subforums became labeled and represented as parts of your body (brain, eyes, nose, mouth, throat, heart/chest, stomach, ribs, genitals, legs, arms, feet, hands, etc.) The Leprechaun went on a posting spree and each time he posted, the subforum he was posting in would make your body (which you could still feel, even though you're a forum) HURRRRRRRRRRRT. After so many posts, that body part would be in so much excruciating pain that it would die.

Evil Leprechaun made sure he posted in all of the body part subforums that would still keep you alive until he eventually made his way to the Heart subforum. After reaching 500,000 posts, your heart finally stopped.

However, your brain was still alive, so the Evil Leprechaun put a Life Support Sytem subforum onto your INTJ Forum body before he went to work in the Brain subforum. Finally, after 1 million excruciatingly painful Evil Leprechaun posts (which he spent a great deal of time writing in -- hundreds of years) and after so much pain, you finally die. His last post read, "Since everyone's done forgot about your ugly mug - Now would be a good time to pull your plug!" And then he removed the Life Support System subforum.

The worst kind of life and death anybody could ever have.

[Sprelious]

Kilt on St. Patricks Day, by being strangled with a kilt.

[JasonINTJ]

Evil Leprechaun installed a bubble maker into your torso which blew out bloody bubbles until you lost enough blood to die.

[IronSulfide]

Fed into an industrial printing press.

[JasonINTJ]

Turned into Suzanne Somers' Soylent Green Bioidentical Hormone Creme.

[gracious]

Drank 5 gallons of Suzanne Somers' new anti-aging cream, new and improved with twice as much melamine.