[OneBadMother]

So, friendships. Do you have very many people you consider friends? How many regular friends compared to close friends, and what differentiates? What is the minimum criteria for you to be able to form any sort of friendship?

[Guido]

N types, pure and simple. If they aren't N, I usually can't relate to them. The only exception is an ISTP... cause for whatever reason, they think like we do o.0 somewhat anyways. EFJs are dangerous and should be treated with caution :o

My current friends who I can relate to: INTP, ENFP, ISTP

Friends that I'm close with, but not that close: ENFJ, 2xINFP, ISTP, ISTJ

[Firelie]

I tend to make one friend at a time, then become friendly with that person's friends by default. Unfortunately, the last one person I made friends with moved far away and now all I have left are the semi-friends who don't really care that much, but do want to hang out on occasion. I have my roommates, too, but that's an entirely different type of friendship. The last close friend I had was my ex bf, but since I kinda dumped him, he's kinda not close anymore.

The majority of people I'm friendly with are either ENFJ's or INFJ's, witih the exception of an ISTJ and a couple other types I haven't identified yet.

[Tarrick]

/Sniff Firelie. I simulate the feeling of compassion for you.

Most of my friends are Rationals or guardians. It's rather interesting to both observe how different we all are, and how we interact. Do we always get along? Oh no. But it is always interesting.

[Lufus]

Heh, for me to make a friend, the individual must be able to withstand my arrogance long enough to realize I'm not trying to show them up.

[Opti]

I don't have any 'real' friends, only aquaintancies mostly from work. There are only 1 or 2 I would like to become close friends with, I want a friend that understands me, someone whom I can bounce my ideas off, someone that understands what I am talking about and will tell me if the idea is plausible or should be put to bed. I also need someone to tell me when I am talking to much about work (Yes I am Obsessed with my work - I am working on it!) And will drag me out and get me interested in enjoying 'other stuff 'in my free time. Pref male INTJ ...

I think I need a Mentor...or a psychiatrist
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[TeleportThis]

I have different friends for different things. I have Judo friends and band friends and homework friends and work friends...

But for always there, anything friends, I have very few these days. In high school I had quite a few. I guess I was just lucky and went to a town with a large percentage of quirky personalities. Or maybe its because it was a small town and because so many of us had shared the same experiences, it was easier to relate to each other despite having different personalities. I'm sure a lot of people would disagree, but I've found that the most interesting people tend to be smart people that come from small towns, and I think that it's because we had to find ways of entertaining ourselves, rather than the city handing it to us.

My best friend right now, who is also my roommate in an INTP.

I can't stand people that are terrible at telling stories. You have to be able to tell an entertaining story before I'll consider you my friend.

[The Rose]

	Originally Posted by Guido
	N types, pure and simple. If they aren't N, I usually can't relate to them. The only exception is an ISTP... cause for whatever reason, they think like we do o.0 somewhat anyways. EFJs are dangerous and should be treated with caution :o My current friends who I can relate to: INTP, ENFP, ISTP Friends that I'm close with, but not that close: ENFJ, 2xINFP, ISTP, ISTJ

You sure you're not an "E"?
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[The Rose]

I *have only had 3 close friends in my whole life.
the girl next door - ENTP
my husband - ISTP
former friend - ISFJ

I've had a few other short term friendships
current friend - ENTP

I am most attracted ENTPs upon acquaintance.
I like their energy and the way they always have a great new thing they want to accomplish!
I like to jump on the band wagon and feel like I'm part of something significant.
I like ENTPs because they are very LOW MAINTENANCE friends.
I am a troubleshooter, not a maintainer.
If I have to maintain you, I would just as soon lose you!

The ISFJ friend was great for the first year,
and then I suffocated for the second year.
I was so thankful when I finally threw her off!
It's incredible how she didn't get tired of sending me a stupid email every single day
that said THE EXACT SAME THING - EXACTLY!! - every single day!!
It was fine until I found out I was hurting her feelings by not sending her a response.
A response?
She didn't ASK anything!
She didn't SAY anything!
I cannot believe how much I bent over backward and did things that were NOT MYSELF
just to avoid hurting her feelings!
Can you believe it ended 3 years ago and I'm still ranting about it?!
I didn't even know who I was anymore by the time it was over.
I learned some valuable attitudes from her but I'm glad it's over.

I have another current friend who's a guy.
He's my ESTJ computer geek.
Since he's visually handicapped sometimes I help him out by driving him places,
or installing RAM.
It's a symbiotic relationship.
Talk about highly opinionated!
He makes me look like an "FP"!

Anyway, now that I've thought about it, I really like "P"s.
(And I need to stay away from the "super feelers").

[Apococlock]

Originally Posted by The Rose

I have only had 3 close friends in my whole life. the girl next door - ENTP my husband - ISTP former friend - ISFJ I've had a few other short term friendships current friend - ENTP I am most attracted ENTPs upon acquaintance. I like their energy and the way they always have a great new thing they want to accomplish! I like to jump on the band wagon and feel like I'm part of something significant. I like ENTPs because they are very LOW MAINTENANCE friends. I am a troubleshooter, not a maintainer. If I have to maintain you, I would just as soon lose you! The ISFJ friend was great for the first year, and then I suffocated for the second year. I was so thankful when I finally threw her off! It's incredible how she didn't get tired of sending me a stupid email every single day that said THE EXACT SAME THING - EXACTLY!! - every single day!! It was fine until I found out I was hurting her feelings by not sending her a response. A response? She didn't ASK anything! She didn't SAY anything! I cannot believe how much I bent over backward and did things that were NOT MYSELF just to avoid hurting her feelings! Can you believe it ended 3 years ago and I'm still ranting about it?! I didn't even know who I was anymore by the time it was over. I learned some valuable attitudes from her but I'm glad it's over. I have another current friend who's a guy. He's my ESTJ computer geek. Since he's visually handicapped sometimes I help him out by driving him places, or installing RAM. It's a symbiotic relationship. Talk about highly opinionated! He makes me look like an "FP"! Anyway, now that I've thought about it, I really like "P"s. (And I need to stay away from the "super feelers").

Wow, it almost looks like you've been waiting for this topic ^.^

I find that all of my best friends are ENTPs, I have two of them in the room with me right now who I've been friends with since I was a young lad (4ish). We get along great as I can disappear for months and they wont be bothered by it in the least, which is great because I'm amazing at disappeared for long distances of time.

Other friends in terms of types I'm really not all that sure about. I actually have gathered a rather large circle of friends over the years. Tactics I tend to use are acting completely and utterly insane/intolerable, and the people who can put up with me and not run away screaming I will take in as my kin, so long as they don't destroy my respect for them, which can be done a whole multitude of ways.

That's what it really boils down to for me, respect.

[Rei]

My best friend's an INTP. *My oldest friend. She's the only one I talk to on a relatively regular basis. *We think alike, and yet she has the patience needed to deal with me. *And she's the one who gets to hear my ridiculous ramblings while I try to make sense of myself.

Other friends I actually still hang out with/kept contact with... 2 are INFP's, one is an ESTJ.
An INTJ gets together with me once in a while, or she calls me up when she needs advice or assurance.
I was a close friend to an ENTP, we’re somewhat distant now, and yet still close and dependable.
An online friend I have great long chats with who I believe is something like another ENTP... I'll check on that one later...


ENTP taught me a lot of patience, same logic, different conclusions, but great conversation.
The INFP's facilitates my attempt to be more E and less J. *They really balance me out.
ESTJ's were the ones who always gave me another view, so I actually really enjoy hanging out with them.

[24687531]

I personally don't have any close friends for a long period of time.
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[Jbmontag]

The only people I can't stand are flighty. The kind that don't even know why they're doing something. They just kind of are. Everyone else I'm at least cordial with. My best friends are the ones that have no problem arguing with me and not get hurt or upset, and don't feel the need to ignore my boundries.

[bikerscars]

no close friends

just people i know through work and family

last close friends was high school and my army days

since then it seems the people i meet are not friend material for one reason or another(i seem to be very selective)

i am a loner by nature

[Jack]

My 4 friends are ESTP, ISFP, ESFP, INTP.

[OneBadMother]

-Have you ever based friendships on how well someone can entertain you? If so, does it take some level of intellectual understanding for someone to be able to entertain you in the first place?

[Rei]

Well there are people who can entertain me but I still wouldn't consider friends; merely aquaintances I like more than usual. What it takes to entertain me? Something along the lines of eccentricity and/or resourcefulness.

I would only consider someone a friend if there is some sort of exchange of ideas/sharing of thoughts. It would require what was mentioned above as well as some compatibility in our thinking processes.

I've had people who thought they were my friends, but I didn't feel the same way. Eventually this brought on a desire to intrude (on their part) and I was quite annoyed to the point of serious aversion.

[rwyatt365]

	Originally Posted by OneBadMother
	So, friendships. Do you have very many people you consider friends? How many regular friends compared to close friends, and what differentiates? What is the minimum criteria for you to be able to form any sort of friendship?

I have very few friends - 4 to be exact. 3 of them are guys that I went to college with, and we've stayed friends for more than 30 years. The fourth is a person I met online, conversed with, and have come to know and respect highly for almost 10 years now.

A friend is someone that I can really communicate with. Someone that understands me, or at least makes an attempt to understand. Someone that I can disagree with and not be disagreeable to. Someone that can listen without the need to criticize. Someone that can speak their mind without sermonizing. Someone that wants to be with me, but doesn't NEED to be with me.

[Elalyr]

I am not that good at friendships. I had couple of friends in high school, but didn't really make the effort to keep in touch after graduation. College? Exactly the same. I had a boyfriend for a while after college (ENFP...HUGE mistake) and ended up close friends with another of his exes (another INTJ) for many years. There were a few others not as close...and then I moved to a new city, and now I'm starting over again.

The above might come across as sort of sad and self-pitying, but I don't mean it that way. It's just the way things are. There aren't a lot of people who understand the way I think, and I end up avoiding people who are "normal" because I get tired of feeling weird by comparison. I tend to get along best with other INTJs, but can get along with many NTs. The one friend I've kept up with from the old city is an ENTJ, so she's good at making sure the lines of communication stay open.

[rwyatt365]

Originally Posted by Elalyr

I am not that good at friendships. *I had couple of friends in high school, but didn't really make the effort to keep in touch after graduation. *College? *Exactly the same. *I had a boyfriend for a while after college (ENFP...HUGE mistake) and ended up close friends with another of his exes (another INTJ) for many years. *There were a few others not as close...and then I moved to a new city, and now I'm starting over again. * The above might come across as sort of sad and self-pitying, but I don't mean it that way. *It's just the way things are. *There aren't a lot of people who understand the way I think, and I end up avoiding people who are "normal" because I get tired of feeling weird by comparison. *I tend to get along best with other INTJs, but can get along with many NTs. *The one friend I've kept up with from the old city is an ENTJ, so she's good at making sure the lines of communication stay open.

Not at all. Most INTJs are comfortable "in their skin".

Does anyone else feel mainting friendships is "effort"? I do, and consequently fail to keep up the necessary level to keep them going.

[Rei]

Originally Posted by rwyatt365

Originally Posted by Elalyr I am not that good at friendships. *I had couple of friends in high school, but didn't really make the effort to keep in touch after graduation. *College? *Exactly the same. *I had a boyfriend for a while after college (ENFP...HUGE mistake) and ended up close friends with another of his exes (another INTJ) for many years. *There were a few others not as close...and then I moved to a new city, and now I'm starting over again. * The above might come across as sort of sad and self-pitying, but I don't mean it that way. *It's just the way things are. *There aren't a lot of people who understand the way I think, and I end up avoiding people who are "normal" because I get tired of feeling weird by comparison. *I tend to get along best with other INTJs, but can get along with many NTs. *The one friend I've kept up with from the old city is an ENTJ, so she's good at making sure the lines of communication stay open. Not at all. Most INTJs are comfortable "in their skin". Does anyone else feel mainting friendships is "effort"? I do, and consequently fail to keep up the necessary level to keep them going.

Depends who it is. The ones who've needed that I've dropped by now. All my current friends are ones who are self sufficient and pretty much simply "keeps me in their heart" and call me up for outings when they know I'm less busy.

[qwerty]

	Originally Posted by rwyatt365
	Does anyone else feel mainting friendships is "effort"? I do, and consequently fail to keep up the necessary level to keep them going.

Yeah unfortunately that seems to be the case with people I know. It gets frustrating to be the one that does everything and they pretend or don't see how much work I do in the background to keep everything floating without issues. As far as close friends go -- haven't tested anyone but they come off as follows to me 3 x intp, 1 x infp and 1 x istj and 1 x estp (long term friend).

I guess the lack of e's comes from having enough confidence in myself that people can't tell me what to do - the e's I know counteract that by wearing me down and so I stay away.

[jeffersonian]

Originally Posted by qwerty

Originally Posted by rwyatt365 Does anyone else feel mainting friendships is "effort"? I do, and consequently fail to keep up the necessary level to keep them going. Yeah unfortunately that seems to be the case with people I know. It gets frustrating to be the one that does everything and they pretend or don't see how much work I do in the background to keep everything floating without issues. As far as close friends go -- haven't tested anyone but they come off as follows to me 3 x intp, 1 x infp and 1 x istj and 1 x estp (long term friend). I guess the lack of e's comes from having enough confidence in myself that people can't tell me what to do - the e's I know counteract that by wearing me down and so I stay away.

Qwerty, are you saying you're doing all the work in the relationships to keep them going?

That seems very uncharacteristic of an INTJ, but maybe you learned the behavior over time?

[generalowk]

Through my life I've tended to have few but close friendships.

In my adult life, few of my closer friends have been my own age; some are several years older than me, and some are several years younger.

[Harman]

I have no idea of my friends personality type, but we do play good chess.
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