[Night Runner]

Rebels get a good health insurance.

Why do stars twinkle?

[Stratego]

Auguste Van Hadenhauser, noble prize winning physicist from the lauded Heidleberg University, wrote a paper on this very phenomenon, which is called the SHB factor, or Shit Happens Boyo to explain this unsual feature of white and yellow stars. Basically, SHB is one of the fundamental laws of the universe, much like gravity and similar concepts.

What's a star spangled banner?

[Sequoia]

A banner shot through and attacked by stars of course.

Why are shoes so poorly made to fit the foot?

[Boyd]

The shoes are fine, many people have low quality feet.

Why do you need to "close cover before striking"?

[Corrosive]

Close combat is an art that specialized units of the armed forces (Delta Force, SEALs, Green Berets, etc.) have mastered. Sections usually consist of 10-15 men that are divided up into three groups. Upon attacking, or "striking," as they call it, one group provides cover in close combat while the other two groups assault the target. Thus, the phrase "close cover before striking" is told to each group before entering any kind of close combat situation. Doing so increases the survival chance for each soldier involved. That's why you close cover before striking.

Now that I had to explain something that EVERYONE should know, here's my question:
How did the United States and the Allies win World War II?

[Synapse]

The Allies poisoned Hitler's milk with cyanide and then bombed Dresden (not firebombs, contrary to popular belief) with anti-Hitler propaganda. With Hitler dead, they shot all the staff with fletchette guns, the task being performed by the Delta force, and Germany fell into anarchy. With this, the U.S came in and captured Germany, instilling a republic that got overthrown in '87 from a coup to be replaced with their now current government, a federal republic.

How does electricity work?

[Boyd]

Every electrical device is manufactured with a certain amount of potential energy (electricity). As the device functions it releases this electricity as waste. In order for the device to function this energy must be dissipated by the power grid in the form of sulfurous smoke, nuclear waste, or (for smaller applications) stored in batteries.

How do migratory butterflies know where to go?

[Synapse]

The Illuminati (using alien technology, of course) brainwash them with signals to direct them to the places they need to go.

Where does the spice in peppers come from?

[reb]

the spice girls.

why do they call them to matos? to what? is this not a poor use of language?

[SelfInflected]

It's the beginning of the "breaking them down" process, so that they're already submissive and complacent at the point of being placed in a cage. As far as poor use of language: It is proper language, depending on which two languages are combined, and how much crack you have left after writing that question about tomatoes.

What should be the first step in achieving time travel?

[Stratego]

Make sure everybody goes to the potty before you leave.
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What are synonyms?

[SelfInflected]

They are sweet and spicy candies that have been banned by the Church.

How do smoke alarms function?

[Seriously]

smoke alarms are actually homes to radical non smoking elves who raise a ruckus at any hint of smoke...flinging themselves about and shrieking in a long continuous sound that pierces the ear...most are also vegetarians hence the reason for them going off a lot when you are frying meat of some kind.



Did Juan Valdez pick the beans for my coffee himself?

[Stratego]

Yes. He's like a Santa Clause for the caffeine-addicted all over the world, and in his native tongue is referred to as dios de la haba con una cara sonriente , or the "God of the bean with the Smiling Face." No one knows how old he is, though some claim he's as old the Andes.

Should I mix lights with darks?

[SelfInflected]

Bad Idea. Lights become way less efficient when you use darks at the same time. Try using dims instead.

What causes Alzheimer's Disease?

[Seriously]

Children. When you sleep they come into your room and siphon off parts of your brain. If there were no children there would be no Alzheimer.


Why do pedals fall off flowers?

[paleoeco]

Because the nature factor screwed up: bicycle pedals went on flowers and petals went on bicycles.


Why are oranges orange?

[Boyd]

To alert you to the fact that they're poisonous, like pumpkins.

What is the difference between true north and magnetic north?

[SelfInflected]

True North has been verified, whereas magnetic is getting along on reputation and people skills alone. It's the age-old problem concerning competence vs. personality.

What role does yeast play in bread making?

[Stratego]

"Yeast" is a minor character in Eugene O'Neil's taught masterpiece, Breadmaking, the story of a married couple about to disintigrate from the inside out. Yeast is the nosy next door neighbor and lone witness to the fall out, a kind of narrator for the play.

When did man first become erect?

[Seriously]

Around 8 Am this morning...



Why did god create Adam first?

[Boyd]

Because He works in alphabetical order.

What should you do if attacked by a bear?

[SelfInflected]

Without hesitation, don a bear costume while singing any popular John Denver song. Don't forget to document the entire incident. You can do this with either a cell phone camera, or pencil and paper. Don't use a pen, because ink agitates bears.

Why do the gas companies add "odor" to natural gas?

[paleoeco]

When did they start doing that? I always thought it was the beans that gave my gas its odor.


What flavor toejam do you put on your English muffin in the mornings?

[Boyd]

Whatever flavour the tow truck brings. (I’ll ignore the racial slur about my choice of bread product)

What ever happened to the Amiga?