Time and a new relationship

**Intent** · 08-14-2010, 05:31 PM

Once you start dating someone and you have decided that this person "meets your criteria", how frequently are you the one who breaks the relationship off? After the first month or two, are you usually the one who ends up getting dumped?

Storm · 08-14-2010, 06:58 PM

There hasn't been a noticeable pattern.

**animeia** · 08-16-2010, 12:22 AM

It's a tie.

**Nix** · 08-16-2010, 10:14 AM

Hm, I've been in a fair number of relationship (hm, five I think) that lasted 4-6 months and I ended all but one (he got it out of his mouth before I got it out of mine). But those were ones I had a bad instinct about to start, guys I wasn't super compatible but they were good guys that I liked. Things typically ended around midterms or finals, when I'm too stressed to deal with most people.

Of the three I've truly fallen for, one I'm going out with (eep, I hope he doesn't end things suddenly), one moved away (and turned out to be married >.< oy)-no true "break up" there. And one dumped me after a week (we had been friends for three years, gone out for a week, seen each other non-stop I was moving away he offered to follow me and then I think he panicked). I think I've finally broken my pattern these last couple times. The only reason I got into that pattern (short unhappy relationships) in the first place was because I had never met a guy I clicked with. I had a lot of crushes and physical chemistry but never intellectually clicked with a guy (save these three).

**kristle** · 08-16-2010, 04:03 PM

I prefer being the dumped not the dumper. By the first month I know if it's going to work out or not. If the answer is not - then I just pull away until they dump me. I find that their recovery time is a lot quicker than if I had dumped them. I have no problem looking like the smuck that just got dumped. I will, however, pull the trigger if they don't catch on and do it fast enough.

View Poll Results: After the first month or two, do you break up with, or get broken up with?
I am usually the one who ends the relationship	10	66.67%
My SO usually ends the relationship with me, and I don't know why	2	13.33%
My SO usually ends the relationship because of a major issue that took time to surface, but I was willing to work on it	1	6.67%
My SO usually ends the relationship and I was in agreement that it should have been over, but they beat me to it	2	13.33%
Voters: 15. You may not vote on this poll

08-14-2010, 05:31 PM	#1
Intent Member [02%] MBTI: xNTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 87	Once you start dating someone and you have decided that this person "meets your criteria", how frequently are you the one who breaks the relationship off? After the first month or two, are you usually the one who ends up getting dumped?
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08-14-2010, 06:58 PM	#2
Storm Administrator MBTI: xxxx Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 14,681	There hasn't been a noticeable pattern.
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08-16-2010, 12:22 AM	#3
animeia New Member [01%] MBTI: ENFP Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 59	It's a tie.
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08-16-2010, 10:14 AM	#4
Nix New Member [01%] MBTI: iNFJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 45	Hm, I've been in a fair number of relationship (hm, five I think) that lasted 4-6 months and I ended all but one (he got it out of his mouth before I got it out of mine). But those were ones I had a bad instinct about to start, guys I wasn't super compatible but they were good guys that I liked. Things typically ended around midterms or finals, when I'm too stressed to deal with most people. Of the three I've truly fallen for, one I'm going out with (eep, I hope he doesn't end things suddenly), one moved away (and turned out to be married >.< oy)-no true "break up" there. And one dumped me after a week (we had been friends for three years, gone out for a week, seen each other non-stop I was moving away he offered to follow me and then I think he panicked). I think I've finally broken my pattern these last couple times. The only reason I got into that pattern (short unhappy relationships) in the first place was because I had never met a guy I clicked with. I had a lot of crushes and physical chemistry but never intellectually clicked with a guy (save these three).
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08-16-2010, 04:03 PM	#5
kristle Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 126	I prefer being the dumped not the dumper. By the first month I know if it's going to work out or not. If the answer is not - then I just pull away until they dump me. I find that their recovery time is a lot quicker than if I had dumped them. I have no problem looking like the smuck that just got dumped. I will, however, pull the trigger if they don't catch on and do it fast enough.
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