Would you walk over your friends if it meant getting ahead?

**Bonamona** · 08-10-2010, 12:05 AM

This question just came to mind out of nowhere today and I am curious to know how people on INTJf would respond to this

**AngryGroceries** · 08-10-2010, 12:14 AM

No. Two reasons;

1. Any friends I have are friends worth keeping.
2. 'Getting ahead' doesn't mean much anyway.

**True Rune** · 08-10-2010, 04:43 AM

Depends. What's "walking over" mean?

**Monomach** · 08-10-2010, 04:43 AM

No. Two reasons:

a) The number of people I've made a real connection with and would truly label as "friend" throughout my life can be counted on one hand. I am as loyal as a dog toward these people.
b) I'm not terribly concerned with "getting ahead." I don't need more money than I make. Money beyond that required for my sustenance serves no real purpose. I don't desire fame. My desire for power is something that I can easily keep under control. Besides, the form of power I want is not obtainable in today's world.

**FatStacksMalone** · 08-10-2010, 05:40 AM

Depends what I was getting ahead to. Most likely, yes.

**Seriously** · 08-10-2010, 07:29 AM

Depends. If they weren't doing the job they were supposed to be doing then yes. Business is business. But just to get ahead then no.

**Warrior** · 08-10-2010, 07:33 AM

I have never known walking over anyone to be a good way to get ahead.

**GouldFan** · 08-10-2010, 07:52 AM

I don't have any friends that work in the same area as I do. If situation like that ever comes up, it will be highly subjective. I like fair competitions and am not fond of using any unfair methods.

**Serpent** · 08-10-2010, 07:57 AM

Could you define walking over? I usually manage to find a
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(using some good old INTJ thinking) in situations like that.

I'm quite obsessed about ending up ahead, more so than getting ahead. That way if I need to walk over someone I might be able to bide my time for a third option to come along. If it's a "me or him" situation I'd be hard pressed to be a gentleman about it and step aside if it really mattered to me. I'd rather propose an honest duel and depending on how slimy I feel at the time I might trick them into accepting an arena I'd win at (like a sporting game of chess).

**GouldFan** · 08-10-2010, 08:01 AM

	Originally Posted by Serpent To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Could you define walking over? I usually manage to find a To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. (using some good old INTJ thinking) in situations like that.

Yes, that's how I usually try to get out of the situation.

**Sonyab** · 08-10-2010, 08:25 AM

I agree with most everyone here:
1. My friends are too valuable
2. I suffer from an appalling lack of ambition
3. I don't need to walk over people to get ahead. It is much better to get your way when people don't know you are guiding them toward it.

**pcardiff** · 08-10-2010, 08:30 AM

	Originally Posted by FatStacksMalone To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Depends what I was getting ahead to. Most likely, yes.

As FatStacksMalone put it ^, you cannot tell the degree to which he will harm the relationship.
I really have to ask what you meant by "getting ahead." If you reached the point you called "ahead," I likely would not call you being "ahead" in my book.
That just skeeves me out ("Eew!") to think that someone would do that to me... So, it violates the Golden Rule - do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
Don't screw over your friends. Grow up. One day you'll realize that relationships are all you got.
This is ten times worse than being a snitch, and no one likes a snitch.

**XFire35** · 08-10-2010, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by pcardiff
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As FatStacksMalone put it ^, you cannot tell the degree to which he will harm the relationship.
I really have to ask what you meant by "getting ahead." If you reached the point you called "ahead," I likely would not call you being "ahead" in my book.
That just skeeves me out ("Eew!") to think that someone would do that to me... So, it violates the Golden Rule - do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
Don't screw over your friends. Grow up. One day you'll realize that relationships are all you got.
This is ten times worse than being a snitch, and no one likes a snitch.

One could argue, that an individual is being a 'snitch' if they report a serious crime to the police when the know the perpetrator well. In this case, which is worse: not informing or informing?

Depends on what walking over friends is? If it's minor then I may, depending on how much I like the friend, otherwise probably not.

**Kisai** · 08-10-2010, 03:17 PM

No. I only have a few real friends. Everyone close to me is important to me. The rest of humanity can get stuffed.

**Stealthjelly** · 08-10-2010, 03:22 PM

Never in a million years, my friends are my friends because of who they are, good friends are hard to come by and I would never sacrifice them to just "get ahead".

I'd rather be "at the back" and have my friends rather than "get ahead" by stabbing them in the back...

What's the point in being rich and successful if getting there means you have no friends left...?

**Serpent** · 08-10-2010, 03:53 PM

Wow, wow. "Screw over"/"Sacrifice"/"Back-stabbing"? I must have misunderstood.

I thought this was a "Harry Potter/Cedric at the end Goblet of Fire" thing. Two friends want the same thing, only one can win. Would you take it? Under the right circumstances; YES!

If were are talking about "screwing over" then; NO. I am loyal. That is all.

**DrFish** · 08-10-2010, 05:54 PM

This seems to be incredibly situation dependent, but as a general rule, no.

**sadf** · 08-10-2010, 06:10 PM

It would depend on what I was trying to get. If it was important enough, sure.

**Bonamona** · 08-10-2010, 10:40 PM

''Walking over'' as in resort to tactics that might be unfair to the friends, damaging to your friendships with them but ''beneficial'' for you. For example - manipulation, deception, taking something precious away from them and so on.

Or you can define it in another way that you wish, feel free to talk about your experiences
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**Malkavia** · 08-11-2010, 01:09 AM

Originally Posted by Bonamona
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''Walking over'' as in resort to tactics that might be unfair to the friends, damaging to your friendships with them but ''beneficial'' for you. For example - manipulation, deception, taking something precious away from them and so on.

Or you can define it in another way that you wish, feel free to talk about your experiences
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In the way that you described. No, never. Those seem to be qualities of not-so-good people.

However, for instance me and my best friend were both applying for scholarships this Summer to come to the Middle East. We applied for the same ones and I simply told him I was going to try my hardest on these, and I wouldnt back down when it came to interviews or applications, etc.. We were the finalists for three different scholarships and I got all three.
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But I think this situation is different because I in no way sabotaged his chances. They were won fairly. See the difference?

I also love seeing the amount of loyalty this forum has.

**Muse** · 08-11-2010, 01:52 AM

i might walk over people that 'think' they are my friends.

**Deus Tempestas** · 08-11-2010, 02:04 AM

No
I have a select few I call friends, and we'll get farther ahead working together.

**JulietCapulet** · 08-11-2010, 03:35 AM

Losing a friend or friends is getting behind...not getting ahead. Friends come first.

**Minerva** · 08-11-2010, 04:22 AM

No not at all... Friends (in the real sense of the word) are too precious to give up for something as trivial as getting ahead. I can't call getting ahead when I am depressed can I? Can I ask getting ahead to accompany me somewhere to have a good time? Can getting ahead make me laugh and improve my mood when all I want to say is FCUK YOU to the world? In fact if you give up your friend to get ahead you will eventually realize that it was not what you thought it was. Selling bits of your soul for material gain never is.

Well maybe for all the tea in China, but the problem is that I don't drink lots of tea.

**Azmorgrim** · 08-11-2010, 11:14 AM

Maybe if the outcome was getting more friends which would definitely yield a profit.

But since there is no way to tell whether the new friends are even worth calling friends, such an ideal outcome will be unlikely to be an achievable one. It's difficult to find people worthy of being called friends, I think.

08-10-2010, 12:05 AM	#1
Bonamona Member [20%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 822	This question just came to mind out of nowhere today and I am curious to know how people on INTJf would respond to this
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08-10-2010, 12:14 AM	#2
AngryGroceries Banned MBTI: INTP Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 1,795	No. Two reasons; 1. Any friends I have are friends worth keeping. 2. 'Getting ahead' doesn't mean much anyway.
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08-10-2010, 04:43 AM	#3
True Rune Core Member [201%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 8,062	Depends. What's "walking over" mean?
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08-10-2010, 04:43 AM	#4
Monomach Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 83	No. Two reasons: a) The number of people I've made a real connection with and would truly label as "friend" throughout my life can be counted on one hand. I am as loyal as a dog toward these people. b) I'm not terribly concerned with "getting ahead." I don't need more money than I make. Money beyond that required for my sustenance serves no real purpose. I don't desire fame. My desire for power is something that I can easily keep under control. Besides, the form of power I want is not obtainable in today's world.
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08-10-2010, 05:40 AM	#5
FatStacksMalone New Member [01%] MBTI: intj Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 9	Depends what I was getting ahead to. Most likely, yes.
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08-10-2010, 07:29 AM	#6
Seriously Core Member [497%] MBTI: ISTP Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 19,884	Depends. If they weren't doing the job they were supposed to be doing then yes. Business is business. But just to get ahead then no.
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08-10-2010, 07:33 AM	#7
Warrior Core Member [236%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 9,449	I have never known walking over anyone to be a good way to get ahead.
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08-10-2010, 07:52 AM	#8
GouldFan Veteran Member [99%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 3,967	I don't have any friends that work in the same area as I do. If situation like that ever comes up, it will be highly subjective. I like fair competitions and am not fond of using any unfair methods.
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08-10-2010, 07:57 AM	#9
Serpent Member [05%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 214	Could you define walking over? I usually manage to find a To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. (using some good old INTJ thinking) in situations like that. I'm quite obsessed about ending up ahead, more so than getting ahead. That way if I need to walk over someone I might be able to bide my time for a third option to come along. If it's a "me or him" situation I'd be hard pressed to be a gentleman about it and step aside if it really mattered to me. I'd rather propose an honest duel and depending on how slimy I feel at the time I might trick them into accepting an arena I'd win at (like a sporting game of chess).
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08-10-2010, 08:25 AM	#11
Sonyab New Member [01%] MBTI: intj Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 38	I agree with most everyone here: 1. My friends are too valuable 2. I suffer from an appalling lack of ambition 3. I don't need to walk over people to get ahead. It is much better to get your way when people don't know you are guiding them toward it.
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08-10-2010, 03:17 PM	#14
Kisai Core Member [356%] MBTI: XXXX Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 14,263	No. I only have a few real friends. Everyone close to me is important to me. The rest of humanity can get stuffed.
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08-10-2010, 03:22 PM	#15
Stealthjelly Member [12%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 483	Never in a million years, my friends are my friends because of who they are, good friends are hard to come by and I would never sacrifice them to just "get ahead". I'd rather be "at the back" and have my friends rather than "get ahead" by stabbing them in the back... What's the point in being rich and successful if getting there means you have no friends left...?
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08-10-2010, 03:53 PM	#16
Serpent Member [05%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 214	Wow, wow. "Screw over"/"Sacrifice"/"Back-stabbing"? I must have misunderstood. I thought this was a "Harry Potter/Cedric at the end Goblet of Fire" thing. Two friends want the same thing, only one can win. Would you take it? Under the right circumstances; YES! If were are talking about "screwing over" then; NO. I am loyal. That is all.
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08-10-2010, 05:54 PM	#17
DrFish New Member [01%] MBTI: INTx Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 1	This seems to be incredibly situation dependent, but as a general rule, no.
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08-10-2010, 06:10 PM	#18
sadf Member [20%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 808	It would depend on what I was trying to get. If it was important enough, sure.
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08-10-2010, 10:40 PM	#19
Bonamona Member [20%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 822	''Walking over'' as in resort to tactics that might be unfair to the friends, damaging to your friendships with them but ''beneficial'' for you. For example - manipulation, deception, taking something precious away from them and so on. Or you can define it in another way that you wish, feel free to talk about your experiences To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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08-11-2010, 01:52 AM	#21
Muse Veteran Member [84%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 3,392	i might walk over people that 'think' they are my friends.
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08-11-2010, 02:04 AM	#22
Deus Tempestas New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 17	No I have a select few I call friends, and we'll get farther ahead working together.
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08-11-2010, 03:35 AM	#23
JulietCapulet Veteran Member [96%] MBTI: XNFX Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 3,865	Losing a friend or friends is getting behind...not getting ahead. Friends come first.
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08-11-2010, 04:22 AM	#24
Minerva Core Member [234%] MBTI: ISFJ Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 9,391	No not at all... Friends (in the real sense of the word) are too precious to give up for something as trivial as getting ahead. I can't call getting ahead when I am depressed can I? Can I ask getting ahead to accompany me somewhere to have a good time? Can getting ahead make me laugh and improve my mood when all I want to say is FCUK YOU to the world? In fact if you give up your friend to get ahead you will eventually realize that it was not what you thought it was. Selling bits of your soul for material gain never is. Well maybe for all the tea in China, but the problem is that I don't drink lots of tea.
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08-11-2010, 11:14 AM	#25
Azmorgrim Member [02%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 91	Maybe if the outcome was getting more friends which would definitely yield a profit. But since there is no way to tell whether the new friends are even worth calling friends, such an ideal outcome will be unlikely to be an achievable one. It's difficult to find people worthy of being called friends, I think.
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