How do you, an INTJ, spend your birthdays? - Page 3

**Slowandeasy1** · 07-20-2010, 09:09 PM

HKF, happy birthday.

Mine is this Saturday.

My family also threw a big "surprise milestone" party last month as they know I do not enjoy crowds.

To answer your question, I grab a good book and visit a very secluded spot up in the mountains beside a rippling brook.

**Paul Siraisi** · 07-21-2010, 03:52 AM

In Africa I once forgot my birthday until the day was over. I often forget until some way into the day, when someone else reminds me. I do nothing special.

**Shagrath** · 07-21-2010, 04:00 AM

I don't celebrate my birthday, it's an excuse for needless social interaction with relatives. I try to ignore them and spend the majority of my day on the PC.

**Aurelia** · 07-21-2010, 12:45 PM

Happy Belated Birthday HFK!

I usually spend my birthday with my husband and friends. We'd usually go out to dinner and have a couple of cocktails. This year, since I just moved to another state my husband and I spent my birthday alone. He took me shopping and had one of my favorite desserts shipped to our home.

**Macka** · 07-21-2010, 06:28 PM

I can't believe the amount of INTJs that don't celebrate their birthday! It's the best excuse to do something... surely...

**Booko** · 07-21-2010, 06:42 PM

I try not to. My early years during my birthday I was either snowed in or sick with mumps, chicken pox, flu or bronchitis.

One exception: 1st grade. Mom thinks I "have" to have a birthday party with all my *female* cousins, all of whom I dislike. Most miserable birthday ever. She was pissed because I didn't enjoy myself. Well, it's not like I made a scene and fussed and cried. I just didn't ooh and aah and coo and smile like an idiot.

I replied she should've asked if I wanted a party, because I didn't. Thing is, in those days a small child should NEVER speak back to a parent like that. But hell -- she asked me! So I got in trouble for my honesty. Gee, thanks.

I was so glad to be sick with chicken pox the next year. She didn't even bake me a cake. Which is good, because I don't even like cake. I would take a birthday pie if anyone made such a thing.

Now for my birthday I'm very happy if I can just go out to eat quietly with my immediate family at someplace where they cook food I would not cook myself, which means it'll probably be quite pricey. I don't want gifts. I'm trying to get rid of stuff in my life not add more to it. If I never received another birthday card in my life, I would consider that a good thing for trees.

Unfortunately, my best friend is ESTJ and they put great store in occasions like birthdays. She never has accepted that NO I really do not want to do anything at all. Nothing. She thinks I'm acting out of pique or fear being disappointed, when the fact is I just don't give a rat's arse that it's my birthday. I point out that other cultures don't even celebrate birthdays (which she certainly knows) but that hasn't registered either. I usually manage to keep my "birthday" celebration to going to my favorite tea house. I would go there any day -- if it makes her happy that I'm doing it supposedly "for my birthday", well I'll let her think that just to keep the peace.
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

---------- Post added 07-21-2010 at 09:51 PM ----------

	Originally Posted by N0c7urn3 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I feel nothing for my birthday whatsoever. Celebrating the return of earth to an arbitrary point in its revolution around the sun (and this is not perfectly true either) seems so utterly ridiculous, and I put it no higher than any astrological mumbo-jumbo.

Funny you should mention this. In college a friend of mine with an equally strange sense of humour (another INTJ, I think), thought it would be a blast to celebrate the Earth's Birthday on October 22nd (Goodle Bishop Ussher if you don't get the reference). Now *those* birthday parties I liked!

---------- Post added 07-21-2010 at 09:54 PM ----------

	Originally Posted by Macka To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Then we went home, had more sex, and then watched a Doctor Who episode together. (Okay, so the INTJness had to come in at same stage, right?)

Now *this* I completely understand!
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


	My girlfriend (ESFJ) stayed the night before and woke up early to have sex with me, before giving me my present (new pants, which we shopped for together).

But isn't this done in the wrong order? I'd think she'd have you model your new gift just for the fun of removing it for the sex. (Yes, I'm a dirty old bird.)

**PRBori** · 07-21-2010, 07:38 PM

To me is just a regular day.... my mom never celebrates b-days or anything else, and personally I haven't had anything exciting happen on my b-day.

However, I do enjoy giving myself presents since nobody else remembers that I exist, at least I do so for myself.

Typical day is work and home, nothing different from my regular days... my last b-day turned sour and the gift I got turn to be nothing but a fake gift, something that lost its meaning really quick...

meaninless gift never count on my b-day... so only the gifts I give myself matter.

Bottom line, my b-day doesn't mean anything to me... I'm just getting a year older, nothing fun about that...

**Macka** · 07-21-2010, 09:04 PM

	Originally Posted by Booko To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	But isn't this done in the wrong order? I'd think she'd have you model your new gift just for the fun of removing it for the sex. (Yes, I'm a dirty old bird.)

Not quite! Beware the mind of the ESFJ when it comes to birthdays. She came over the night before my birthday, so there was no way I was going to get my present then lol. Strangely, she doesn't enjoy a lot of foreplay; I've had to ask for more. Apparently why would I "waste time in getting to the good part?".

**antiant** · 07-21-2010, 09:07 PM

I don't like to celebrate my birthday, nor ask for things, usually it's the family who pushes the issue, but I couldn't care less, I echo other posters with the "It's just another day" thing. That also goes with holidays too.

**Cincinnatus** · 07-21-2010, 10:45 PM

I think one of my favorite birthdays was spent taking myself out for a nice meal at a German restaurant. It was delicious.

**Musician** · 07-22-2010, 04:21 AM

I try not to make a big thing out of it. But my parents always do (and I hate it).
Then I end up going to public places (cafes, restaurants) and "celebrating" with almost all my relatives.

**Macka** · 07-22-2010, 01:40 PM

I'd like to think that while a lot of us bemoan birthdays are 'trivial, just another day, pointless, etc', we're secretly quite happy when someone does remember. I know it makes me happy when people remember and, even better, when people go out of their way to celebrate it.

**Quiet Riot** · 07-22-2010, 04:32 PM

i found myself writing detailed plans for goals and ideas of what to do with the future. and it wasnt because i dont like my life/myself, it was just because i like to plan, and this seemed an extra-appropriate time to willfully grasp some personal direction/vision. basically i got all hyped up and motivated. This was my 18th birthday, so it was a relatively special one too, becomeing an adult and all (a few weeks ago.). but yeah, i purposely and definitely wanted to be alone the whole day. it didnt work out that way, but i got plenty of alone time. All alone time is a gift to me. i can only truly be at existential ease when im alone. i dont mean i dont like being around certain people, but there is NEVER a time when im not monitoring my behavior(maybe not rigorously with some people, but at least a little bit) around other people, so being alone is wonderful. I like to reread favorite books, so i did that for some time this past birthday.

**Booko** · 07-22-2010, 04:37 PM

	Originally Posted by Macka To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Not quite! Beware the mind of the ESFJ when it comes to birthdays. She came over the night before my birthday, so there was no way I was going to get my present then lol. Strangely, she doesn't enjoy a lot of foreplay; I've had to ask for more. Apparently why would I "waste time in getting to the good part?".

Wow, a "Wham Bam Thank You Man" kinda girl? You had better keep her!
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

---------- Post added 07-22-2010 at 07:40 PM ----------

	Originally Posted by Macka To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'd like to think that while a lot of us bemoan birthdays are 'trivial, just another day, pointless, etc', we're secretly quite happy when someone does remember.

You might like to think that, but in my case, you'd be wrong. I truly just don't care, any more than I care about Mother's Day. I never have, not for any reason other than "I don't care."

I use the occasion to get my husband to take me out somewhere expensive to eat because I am a foodie and he doesn't feel like he can complain about the expense if it's my birthday.

I would just as soon do it another day as on my birthday. I don't find early February particularly convenient for going out, even living in the south.

**gem06** · 07-27-2010, 06:28 PM

I usually end up working the day of. But around that time I usually try to knock an item off my bucket list, which usually means some type of trip. I've had a few B-day trips ruined by friends so I usually go it alone. I usually find it's a nice time to reflect and/or test being a different person in a different city.

**elfbrick** · 07-27-2010, 07:23 PM

I like spending some time either alone or with a close friend. Pizza and a movie are always winners.

**AngryGroceries** · 07-27-2010, 07:33 PM

I spend it alone, for some reason my family has picked large fights with me for my past 4 birthdays. I can't believe I opted to go to community college..

**Commissar** · 07-27-2010, 07:37 PM

Either with a very small group of friends or by myself

**ElstonGunn** · 07-27-2010, 07:58 PM

	Originally Posted by Macka To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'd like to think that while a lot of us bemoan birthdays are 'trivial, just another day, pointless, etc', we're secretly quite happy when someone does remember. I know it makes me happy when people remember and, even better, when people go out of their way to celebrate it.

I don't like it when people remember it. I don't get much in the way of special feelings just because somebody acknowledges something about me that I had no control over. I also dislike attention from people, especially if their reason for giving it is that they (not I) want to celebrate something that, again, I had no control over.

But, I'm also not one to think that the day should be all about me any more than any other day should be. It really is "just another day" to me (except for the simmering worry that someone might acknowledge it), so I don't expect to get what I want anymore than I do on any day, even if what I want is "nothing." My birthday isn't just about me, and I think that anyone who really agrees that they're meaningless shouldn't feel entitled to be left alone on what is, to them by their own insistence, just another regular day. The minute you start having expectations of special treatment simply because of what day marks is the minute you add special meaning to that day. It doesn't matter whether that special treatment involves extravagant parties or total solitude.

**RedOrange823** · 07-27-2010, 09:01 PM

I always take the day off from work and have a 'me' day. I don't really ever plan anything, but if I go out, it's usually with just my sister. Mostly, I stay at home and relax listening to music, reading and/or playing my guitar.

**HoodMasterMIND** · 07-29-2010, 08:41 PM

i try to do something different....but its usually dinner, club/lounge, and strip club in that order. makes me happy so F it. i used to look forward to my bday. now i dont
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

**sadf** · 08-01-2010, 06:50 PM

Usually I have some friends over but for my 18th I didnt do anything.

Sigrave · 08-01-2010, 07:36 PM

It goes by mostly unmarked. I usually don't do anything out of the ordinary for myself either.

**Autoptic** · 08-01-2010, 08:15 PM

If I notice at all, I just curse my present life, my dwindling future, and what happened to it.

**larrysb** · 08-01-2010, 11:25 PM

It's great, all the people at work get me a cake. All my friends take me out for drinks and laughs and all the women I know flirt in sexy ways. It's really great being surround by so many people and so much happiness.

Or not.

Usually, not much. Most people don't know it is my birthday, nor does there seem to be much interest whether it is or not. It is funny though, in the office, there are people who's birthday brings cake and drinks and much fanfare, then there's me. Not a week after my birthday, an admin asked me what one of my coworkers preferred in his birthday cake, since they were late getting him one by mistake.

07-20-2010, 09:09 PM	#51
Slowandeasy1 Member [13%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 522	HKF, happy birthday. Mine is this Saturday. My family also threw a big "surprise milestone" party last month as they know I do not enjoy crowds. To answer your question, I grab a good book and visit a very secluded spot up in the mountains beside a rippling brook.
Slowandeasy1 is offline post a comment

07-21-2010, 03:52 AM	#52
Paul Siraisi Veteran Member [65%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 2,600	In Africa I once forgot my birthday until the day was over. I often forget until some way into the day, when someone else reminds me. I do nothing special.
Paul Siraisi is offline post a comment

07-21-2010, 04:00 AM	#53
Shagrath Banned MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 275	I don't celebrate my birthday, it's an excuse for needless social interaction with relatives. I try to ignore them and spend the majority of my day on the PC.
Shagrath is offline post a comment

07-21-2010, 12:45 PM	#54
Aurelia Member [39%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1,568	Happy Belated Birthday HFK! I usually spend my birthday with my husband and friends. We'd usually go out to dinner and have a couple of cocktails. This year, since I just moved to another state my husband and I spent my birthday alone. He took me shopping and had one of my favorite desserts shipped to our home.
Aurelia is offline post a comment

07-21-2010, 06:28 PM	#55
Macka Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 113	I can't believe the amount of INTJs that don't celebrate their birthday! It's the best excuse to do something... surely...
Macka is offline post a comment

07-21-2010, 07:38 PM	#57
PRBori Core Member [108%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 4,355	To me is just a regular day.... my mom never celebrates b-days or anything else, and personally I haven't had anything exciting happen on my b-day. However, I do enjoy giving myself presents since nobody else remembers that I exist, at least I do so for myself. Typical day is work and home, nothing different from my regular days... my last b-day turned sour and the gift I got turn to be nothing but a fake gift, something that lost its meaning really quick... meaninless gift never count on my b-day... so only the gifts I give myself matter. Bottom line, my b-day doesn't mean anything to me... I'm just getting a year older, nothing fun about that...
PRBori is offline post a comment

07-21-2010, 09:07 PM	#59
antiant Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 96	I don't like to celebrate my birthday, nor ask for things, usually it's the family who pushes the issue, but I couldn't care less, I echo other posters with the "It's just another day" thing. That also goes with holidays too.
antiant is offline post a comment

07-21-2010, 10:45 PM	#60
Cincinnatus Core Member [178%] MBTI: ENTJ Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 7,144	I think one of my favorite birthdays was spent taking myself out for a nice meal at a German restaurant. It was delicious.
Cincinnatus is offline post a comment

07-22-2010, 04:21 AM	#61
Musician New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 16	I try not to make a big thing out of it. But my parents always do (and I hate it). Then I end up going to public places (cafes, restaurants) and "celebrating" with almost all my relatives.
Musician is offline post a comment

07-22-2010, 01:40 PM	#62
Macka Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 113	I'd like to think that while a lot of us bemoan birthdays are 'trivial, just another day, pointless, etc', we're secretly quite happy when someone does remember. I know it makes me happy when people remember and, even better, when people go out of their way to celebrate it.
Macka is offline post a comment

07-22-2010, 04:32 PM	#63
Quiet Riot Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 147	i found myself writing detailed plans for goals and ideas of what to do with the future. and it wasnt because i dont like my life/myself, it was just because i like to plan, and this seemed an extra-appropriate time to willfully grasp some personal direction/vision. basically i got all hyped up and motivated. This was my 18th birthday, so it was a relatively special one too, becomeing an adult and all (a few weeks ago.). but yeah, i purposely and definitely wanted to be alone the whole day. it didnt work out that way, but i got plenty of alone time. All alone time is a gift to me. i can only truly be at existential ease when im alone. i dont mean i dont like being around certain people, but there is NEVER a time when im not monitoring my behavior(maybe not rigorously with some people, but at least a little bit) around other people, so being alone is wonderful. I like to reread favorite books, so i did that for some time this past birthday.
Quiet Riot is offline post a comment

07-27-2010, 06:28 PM	#65
gem06 New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 9	I usually end up working the day of. But around that time I usually try to knock an item off my bucket list, which usually means some type of trip. I've had a few B-day trips ruined by friends so I usually go it alone. I usually find it's a nice time to reflect and/or test being a different person in a different city.
gem06 is offline post a comment

07-27-2010, 07:23 PM	#66
elfbrick Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 131	I like spending some time either alone or with a close friend. Pizza and a movie are always winners.
elfbrick is offline post a comment

07-27-2010, 07:33 PM	#67
AngryGroceries Banned MBTI: INTP Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 1,795	I spend it alone, for some reason my family has picked large fights with me for my past 4 birthdays. I can't believe I opted to go to community college..
AngryGroceries is offline post a comment

07-27-2010, 07:37 PM	#68
Commissar Member [12%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 514	Either with a very small group of friends or by myself
Commissar is offline post a comment

07-27-2010, 09:01 PM	#70
RedOrange823 Core Member [556%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 22,249	I always take the day off from work and have a 'me' day. I don't really ever plan anything, but if I go out, it's usually with just my sister. Mostly, I stay at home and relax listening to music, reading and/or playing my guitar.
RedOrange823 is offline post a comment

07-29-2010, 08:41 PM	#71
HoodMasterMIND New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 24	i try to do something different....but its usually dinner, club/lounge, and strip club in that order. makes me happy so F it. i used to look forward to my bday. now i dont To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
HoodMasterMIND is offline post a comment

08-01-2010, 06:50 PM	#72
sadf Member [20%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 808	Usually I have some friends over but for my 18th I didnt do anything.
sadf is offline post a comment

08-01-2010, 07:36 PM	#73
Sigrave New Member [01%] MBTI: xxxx Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 36	It goes by mostly unmarked. I usually don't do anything out of the ordinary for myself either.
Sigrave is offline post a comment

08-01-2010, 08:15 PM	#74
Autoptic Core Member [105%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 4,230	If I notice at all, I just curse my present life, my dwindling future, and what happened to it. Last edited by Autoptic; 08-01-2010 at 09:38 PM.
Autoptic is offline post a comment

08-01-2010, 11:25 PM	#75
larrysb Member [16%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 665	It's great, all the people at work get me a cake. All my friends take me out for drinks and laughs and all the women I know flirt in sexy ways. It's really great being surround by so many people and so much happiness. Or not. Usually, not much. Most people don't know it is my birthday, nor does there seem to be much interest whether it is or not. It is funny though, in the office, there are people who's birthday brings cake and drinks and much fanfare, then there's me. Not a week after my birthday, an admin asked me what one of my coworkers preferred in his birthday cake, since they were late getting him one by mistake.
larrysb is offline post a comment