How can I be so disinterested in life?

**ENIT** · 07-17-2010, 10:30 PM

This spring I decided I was finally going to get back into school and enrolled for the coming fall semester. It was really a spur-of-the-moment decision and I'm still not exactly sure what precipitated it. Ever since I got up all this sudden motivation, I've been less and less eager to actually follow through with any of it.

I've been going through the motions, doing the paperwork, scheduling classes and all that, but I'm pretty much dreading it now. As you can imagine, this is a problem. I've got at least three years of pretty intensive work ahead of me and I'm ambivalent about the whole thing before I've even started.

So I've been trying to give myself reasons to get this stuff done. But this has only caused more problems for me. I could make more money, but I don't spend the money I have. I could have a more "respectable" career, but social expectations don't much bother me. I could have a job that was initially more intellectually stimulating, but it wouldn't take long to get bored with it.

But if I don't DO something like this, what the hell is the rest of my life going to consist of? I have no interest in doing the marriage/kids thing and my forays into self-improvement (while good for me) aren't exactly life-pursuit material.

I just don't have any incentive to do much of anything. There are lots of things I'm interested in, but nothing that makes me look forward to tomorrow. I feel like there's something wrong when the notion of "continued existence" sounds more like impending work and drudgery than a blessing.

**zeroz** · 07-18-2010, 01:47 AM

	Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I just don't have any incentive to do much of anything. There are lots of things I'm interested in, but nothing that makes me look forward to tomorrow. I feel like there's something wrong when the notion of "continued existence" sounds more like impending work and drudgery than a blessing.

I know exactly what you are feeling. Life seems to be more and more work as each day passes. I've started to find myself having a hard time waking up in the morning, sleeping at night, doing work for school, studying, etc. In fact, I have found myself in a position quite favorable for my future (i.e. possibility of going to an Ivy League graduate school), but at the present moment, I just can't motivate myself. I just don't care about anything anymore. It might be the existential depression, but the older I get, the more I seem to realize that life in a curse, not a blessing.

What's the point?

**BuShinJu** · 07-18-2010, 02:11 AM

	Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It was really a spur-of-the-moment decision and I'm still not exactly sure what precipitated it.

I reckon you should respect this spur of the moment decision. If fact I would place more trust in this desicion than in all the thoughts you have been having since, because it made you act.

At least give it a go, there are other fringe benefits as well, hot smart people go to school and one of them may change your mind about something.

"No angel is going to appear to offer you advice" - Something for Kate

**repartee** · 07-18-2010, 02:14 AM

Accept there is no meaning to life. Accept how insignificant your life is in the grand scheme of things. Fill your days with the things you enjoy, because once your dead nothing you have done will matter. However be grateful you are alive, no matter how dull and pointless it may seem, because there is nothing else, this is it.

**Marquis Andras** · 07-18-2010, 02:27 AM

I've struggled with existential and clinical depression, throughout most of my life. I've thrown a lot of things at the "emptiness" I felt. However, I've found nothing helps like having a subjective sense of direction and purpose, no matter how small or grand, so long as its yours.

**Night Runner** · 07-18-2010, 03:40 AM

	Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	So I've been trying to give myself reasons to get this stuff done. But this has only caused more problems for me. I could make more money, but I don't spend the money I have. I could have a more "respectable" career, but social expectations don't much bother me. I could have a job that was initially more intellectually stimulating, but it wouldn't take long to get bored with it.

Been there, done that... The solution is setting up a goal - any goal, as long as it's difficult to achieve and will actually amount to something. You said you don't spend the money you have. Okay, but if you start making even more money, saving it, and then investing in into something profitable, eventually you'll have enough money to finance your early retirement. If you go someplace cheap and foreign (Argentina, Fiji, etc.), you could live quite well on just $10,000 a year. Save up a few hundred thousand, and you could live just off the interest.
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**ENIT** · 07-18-2010, 10:12 AM

	Originally Posted by Marquis Andras To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I've struggled with existential and clinical depression, throughout most of my life. I've thrown a lot of things at the "emptiness" I felt. However, I've found nothing helps like having a subjective sense of direction and purpose, no matter how small or grand, so long as its yours.

Yeah, I've read Kierkegaard too. But how does one DEVELOP a sense of purpose? Can a person BECOME motivated? It seems like something that's encoded in everyone else's genes. You can't rationalize yourself into being driven to something.

Originally Posted by Night Runner
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Been there, done that... The solution is setting up a goal - any goal, as long as it's difficult to achieve and will actually amount to something. You said you don't spend the money you have. Okay, but if you start making even more money, saving it, and then investing in into something profitable, eventually you'll have enough money to finance your early retirement. If you go someplace cheap and foreign (Argentina, Fiji, etc.), you could live quite well on just $10,000 a year. Save up a few hundred thousand, and you could live just off the interest.
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But surely you can see the problem. You're saying I should work hard so that I don't have to work later. That's not a particularly motivating notion. I'm not saying "I don't like working and want to maximize the amount of leisure time I have". I'm saying "I feel no particular urge to do anything, work or play".

**Night Runner** · 07-18-2010, 10:26 AM

^
I know... That may not the most motivating notion, but in the absence of natural motivators, what's wrong with creating an artificial one? Have you always been this way? If not, this could be just a phase. By becoming a workaholic, you can fast-forward a few months or even years - if your current condition can't get worse, it could become better later on. And on the off chance that it doesn't, at least you wouldn't have to worry about working another day in your life.
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**Veracity** · 07-18-2010, 01:13 PM

For me the answer is just to keep going through the motions until the motivation returns. If I don't I get madder at myself in the future. I returned to college after a 10 year hiatus and I've had to simply trust my decision to do it regardless of how difficult it is. But becuase I'm going to be entering a very difficult field filled with challenges, NT's and intellectuals then I feel better about going through the motions.

I would even argue that some of the most successful people on the surface aren't any more motivated than you are. They simply accept that action is worth more than feelings. Removing procrastination (a 24/7 job for me) and focusing on activities (assignments, to do lists, whatever) can generate momentum to get you to the next surge of motivation.

**BuShinJu** · 07-19-2010, 06:36 PM

	Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	But how does one DEVELOP a sense of purpose? Can a person BECOME motivated? It seems like something that's encoded in everyone else's genes. You can't rationalize yourself into being driven to something.

The solution I came across was to think of all the things i wanted to do or be when I was a kid and then go and pursue then.

I just sat and thought back to when I was young and what used to make me happy and asked "what did I always want to be?". For some reason these topics have never failed me. Although the first 6 weeks are always a struggle once that is past the momemtum builds up. I have noticed at about the 2 year mark that there is a big questioning of what is happening, but then I push through that as well.

They are not really rational topics, not what mainstream society would back, I march to my own drum, fuck'em.

(Aside: I have had a go at being: a martial artist, a rocket scientist, a meditation monk and now I am 2 years in to being an illustrator. Each of the other topics I spent more than 5 years on each and still do a little of all of them)

**Polymath** · 07-21-2010, 09:57 PM

	Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Yeah, I've read Kierkegaard too. But how does one DEVELOP a sense of purpose? Can a person BECOME motivated? It seems like something that's encoded in everyone else's genes. You can't rationalize yourself into being driven to something.

Come up with something you feel is wrong with the universe (e.g. the existence of suffering) and dedicate your life to contribute to its fixing in whatever tiny way you can, directly or indirectly.

**Chshrkat09** · 07-22-2010, 09:19 AM

I've been having the same issue, with finding things to motivate myself. I'm still trying to find my motivation as well, but I have to agree with others on giving yourself a goal, or finding something you have always wanted to do and go for it.

**Inthefog** · 07-23-2010, 11:22 PM

I'm having the same issue, but stumbling upon this (
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) some time ago has been a good starting point for improvement. Food for thought.

**callalilly** · 07-23-2010, 11:29 PM

Ha I'm not the only one with this problem. I have the same problem with college only I have about a year -a year and a half before I'm done.
Some on here said setting up goals but it hasn't work for me...good luck.

**indrakas** · 08-01-2010, 12:52 PM

Ahm. I think you have had set too much goals and they don't do the trick any more.

I go for a walk, and instantly things change.

I like "Introvert Power" by L. Helgoe. She writes about introverts in extrovert-oriented society. Maybe it could help you to find something that might still interest you.. other than things you "should" be interested in

**zibber** · 08-01-2010, 01:01 PM

	Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	my forays into self-improvement (while good for me) aren't exactly life-pursuit material.

What is the difference between "good for me" and "life-pursuit material"?

**umala** · 08-01-2010, 01:47 PM

Hmmm, interesting... i am ENFP, but i totally understand this problem of pointlessness
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But i guess being an ENFP helps me: i just can't stop creating artificial motivators and challenges which keep me so busy that most of the time i just dont think. But of course the general feeling of meaninglessness always comes back when i am not busy. The trick is to not to be not busy
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ever
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Appetite comes with eating. I hope this is true for you INTJ too.

Hmm and what if you worked on developing your other functions, i mean for example S. Or F. N can be evil, and destroy its owner
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S helps to enjoy life. F probably helps with the enthusiasm... (i am not sure i'm just guessing). P doesn't help here. Or does it? OK now I'm beginning to talk about something i dont know. I'm shutting up.

**green** · 08-01-2010, 09:42 PM

Ah, the ENFP take on life. I'm not being sarcastic, I'm serious. I ache with jealousy when I encounter you all!

**xmndlfe** · 08-04-2010, 06:02 PM

just want to throw in another perspective to this issue that has been on my mind lately. Maybe I am naive and just now realizing something everyone else in the world already does. But is life just a competition?

It seems that this is what would allow our genes to survive and get us here on this earth. We all cooperate and make friendships, but this is only a function of our genes adapting to reproduce. I guess I am just going in circles back to the existential thing... so better go make some money
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**ENIT** · 08-04-2010, 08:44 PM

	Originally Posted by zibber To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What is the difference between "good for me" and "life-pursuit material"?

They don't make me happy.

**palauoriginal** · 08-04-2010, 11:51 PM

I used to be here.life.psh What's the point?

One day i came began to look at life as a gas or fuel
use it in which ever way you like no one's going to stop you
but you only have so many gallons in your tank
and in this tank of gas...where are you going to travel?
emotions are the by-product of where we go with that fuel
rationally, physically, emotionally, spiritually even?

this helps me anyways..

**ENIT** · 08-06-2010, 09:12 AM

Originally Posted by palauoriginal
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I used to be here.life.psh What's the point?

One day i came began to look at life as a gas or fuel
use it in which ever way you like no one's going to stop you
but you only have so many gallons in your tank
and in this tank of gas...where are you going to travel?
emotions are the by-product of where we go with that fuel
rationally, physically, emotionally, spiritually even?

this helps me anyways..

I'm not sure why that would help you. It's just the same meaningless platitude stuff you can get from anybody.

**jadedangel** · 08-07-2010, 08:34 PM

I feel exactly the same way. Since graduation I have been working in a job I can't stand and so I decided to take a cert exam last year. I bought the books, study guides, found online resources, even convinced 4 other people to do the exam. I still haven't taken it...haven't studied in months, but I still plan to do it. It's pretty safe to say that I know how you feel.

Like someone else suggested, I have tried thinking of all the things that interest me jump in that direction but it all seems so difficult because I feel so clueless.

I can't even decide on a graduate program much less get over the fact that I love education but see the system as a status symbol where most people flaunt their degrees in front of your face and don't know jack anyway.

Man I feel so lost.

**ElementOverride** · 08-08-2010, 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by ENIT
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This spring I decided I was finally going to get back into school and enrolled for the coming fall semester. It was really a spur-of-the-moment decision and I'm still not exactly sure what precipitated it. Ever since I got up all this sudden motivation, I've been less and less eager to actually follow through with any of it.

I've been going through the motions, doing the paperwork, scheduling classes and all that, but I'm pretty much dreading it now. As you can imagine, this is a problem. I've got at least three years of pretty intensive work ahead of me and I'm ambivalent about the whole thing before I've even started.

So I've been trying to give myself reasons to get this stuff done. But this has only caused more problems for me. I could make more money, but I don't spend the money I have. I could have a more "respectable" career, but social expectations don't much bother me. I could have a job that was initially more intellectually stimulating, but it wouldn't take long to get bored with it.

But if I don't DO something like this, what the hell is the rest of my life going to consist of? I have no interest in doing the marriage/kids thing and my forays into self-improvement (while good for me) aren't exactly life-pursuit material.

I just don't have any incentive to do much of anything. There are lots of things I'm interested in, but nothing that makes me look forward to tomorrow. I feel like there's something wrong when the notion of "continued existence" sounds more like impending work and drudgery than a blessing.

Borderline depression maybe. I've suffered the same feelings, though. I love to discover. Do you like doing that? Embarking on new ideas or lands..I haven't much desire to interact with people, but to learn is what brings me happiness.

**palauoriginal** · 08-09-2010, 10:34 AM

	Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm not sure why that would help you. It's just the same meaningless platitude stuff you can get from anybody.

I guess its the fact I actually instilled some personal value into my life that allowed my to get out of that sump. Of course my analogy is the same stuff you hear, but its because that's how it is. Before that I just played warcraft wasting my life away.

07-17-2010, 10:30 PM	#1
ENIT Member [35%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,414	This spring I decided I was finally going to get back into school and enrolled for the coming fall semester. It was really a spur-of-the-moment decision and I'm still not exactly sure what precipitated it. Ever since I got up all this sudden motivation, I've been less and less eager to actually follow through with any of it. I've been going through the motions, doing the paperwork, scheduling classes and all that, but I'm pretty much dreading it now. As you can imagine, this is a problem. I've got at least three years of pretty intensive work ahead of me and I'm ambivalent about the whole thing before I've even started. So I've been trying to give myself reasons to get this stuff done. But this has only caused more problems for me. I could make more money, but I don't spend the money I have. I could have a more "respectable" career, but social expectations don't much bother me. I could have a job that was initially more intellectually stimulating, but it wouldn't take long to get bored with it. But if I don't DO something like this, what the hell is the rest of my life going to consist of? I have no interest in doing the marriage/kids thing and my forays into self-improvement (while good for me) aren't exactly life-pursuit material. I just don't have any incentive to do much of anything. There are lots of things I'm interested in, but nothing that makes me look forward to tomorrow. I feel like there's something wrong when the notion of "continued existence" sounds more like impending work and drudgery than a blessing.
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07-18-2010, 02:14 AM	#4
repartee Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 151	Accept there is no meaning to life. Accept how insignificant your life is in the grand scheme of things. Fill your days with the things you enjoy, because once your dead nothing you have done will matter. However be grateful you are alive, no matter how dull and pointless it may seem, because there is nothing else, this is it.
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07-18-2010, 02:27 AM	#5
Marquis Andras New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 6	I've struggled with existential and clinical depression, throughout most of my life. I've thrown a lot of things at the "emptiness" I felt. However, I've found nothing helps like having a subjective sense of direction and purpose, no matter how small or grand, so long as its yours.
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07-18-2010, 10:26 AM	#8
Night Runner Core Member [148%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,931	^ I know... That may not the most motivating notion, but in the absence of natural motivators, what's wrong with creating an artificial one? Have you always been this way? If not, this could be just a phase. By becoming a workaholic, you can fast-forward a few months or even years - if your current condition can't get worse, it could become better later on. And on the off chance that it doesn't, at least you wouldn't have to worry about working another day in your life. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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07-18-2010, 01:13 PM	#9
Veracity Member [06%] MBTI: xNTx Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 250	For me the answer is just to keep going through the motions until the motivation returns. If I don't I get madder at myself in the future. I returned to college after a 10 year hiatus and I've had to simply trust my decision to do it regardless of how difficult it is. But becuase I'm going to be entering a very difficult field filled with challenges, NT's and intellectuals then I feel better about going through the motions. I would even argue that some of the most successful people on the surface aren't any more motivated than you are. They simply accept that action is worth more than feelings. Removing procrastination (a 24/7 job for me) and focusing on activities (assignments, to do lists, whatever) can generate momentum to get you to the next surge of motivation.
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07-22-2010, 09:19 AM	#12
Chshrkat09 New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 57	I've been having the same issue, with finding things to motivate myself. I'm still trying to find my motivation as well, but I have to agree with others on giving yourself a goal, or finding something you have always wanted to do and go for it.
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07-23-2010, 11:22 PM	#13
Inthefog New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 57	I'm having the same issue, but stumbling upon this ( To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ) some time ago has been a good starting point for improvement. Food for thought.
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07-23-2010, 11:29 PM	#14
callalilly Member [06%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 260	Ha I'm not the only one with this problem. I have the same problem with college only I have about a year -a year and a half before I'm done. Some on here said setting up goals but it hasn't work for me...good luck.
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08-01-2010, 12:52 PM	#15
indrakas New Member [01%] MBTI: intj Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 32	Ahm. I think you have had set too much goals and they don't do the trick any more. I go for a walk, and instantly things change. I like "Introvert Power" by L. Helgoe. She writes about introverts in extrovert-oriented society. Maybe it could help you to find something that might still interest you.. other than things you "should" be interested in
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08-01-2010, 01:47 PM	#17
umala New Member [01%] MBTI: ENFP Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 41	Hmmm, interesting... i am ENFP, but i totally understand this problem of pointlessness To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. But i guess being an ENFP helps me: i just can't stop creating artificial motivators and challenges which keep me so busy that most of the time i just dont think. But of course the general feeling of meaninglessness always comes back when i am not busy. The trick is to not to be not busy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ever To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Appetite comes with eating. I hope this is true for you INTJ too. Hmm and what if you worked on developing your other functions, i mean for example S. Or F. N can be evil, and destroy its owner To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. S helps to enjoy life. F probably helps with the enthusiasm... (i am not sure i'm just guessing). P doesn't help here. Or does it? OK now I'm beginning to talk about something i dont know. I'm shutting up.
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08-01-2010, 09:42 PM	#18
green New Member [01%] MBTI: intj Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 42	Ah, the ENFP take on life. I'm not being sarcastic, I'm serious. I ache with jealousy when I encounter you all!
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08-04-2010, 06:02 PM	#19
xmndlfe New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 5	just want to throw in another perspective to this issue that has been on my mind lately. Maybe I am naive and just now realizing something everyone else in the world already does. But is life just a competition? It seems that this is what would allow our genes to survive and get us here on this earth. We all cooperate and make friendships, but this is only a function of our genes adapting to reproduce. I guess I am just going in circles back to the existential thing... so better go make some money To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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08-04-2010, 11:51 PM	#21
palauoriginal New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 51	I used to be here.life.psh What's the point? One day i came began to look at life as a gas or fuel use it in which ever way you like no one's going to stop you but you only have so many gallons in your tank and in this tank of gas...where are you going to travel? emotions are the by-product of where we go with that fuel rationally, physically, emotionally, spiritually even? this helps me anyways..
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08-07-2010, 08:34 PM	#23
jadedangel Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 99	I feel exactly the same way. Since graduation I have been working in a job I can't stand and so I decided to take a cert exam last year. I bought the books, study guides, found online resources, even convinced 4 other people to do the exam. I still haven't taken it...haven't studied in months, but I still plan to do it. It's pretty safe to say that I know how you feel. Like someone else suggested, I have tried thinking of all the things that interest me jump in that direction but it all seems so difficult because I feel so clueless. I can't even decide on a graduate program much less get over the fact that I love education but see the system as a status symbol where most people flaunt their degrees in front of your face and don't know jack anyway. Man I feel so lost.
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