More comfortable with the opposite sex?

**TheEnlightenedOne** · 07-10-2010, 05:52 PM

I've come to realize that, though I'm a straight male, I've always been more comfortable and actually enjoyed spending time more with females than males. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I have a much harder time bonding with males and finding common interests/activities to share with them. I also tend to prefer the usual demeanor of females more than that of males (based on my experiences interacting with both).

Does anyone else share this experience?

**Dover** · 07-10-2010, 06:24 PM

I am a straight female and am more comfortable with the opposite sex as well. I don't really enjoy the company of women. I mean, I have close female friends, but I prefer being around men.

A lot of the times when I'm around women, all they want to do it complain. I will admit I do this every so often, but not constantly like some women.

Men are just easier to be around. They are sensible and less emotional.

**True Rune** · 07-10-2010, 06:27 PM

Same here. I've often been relieved when meeting someone for something (like looking at schools) that I met with a woman and not a man. Weird.

**GouldFan** · 07-10-2010, 06:32 PM

I concur. I usually end up getting along better with male friends, male class mates, etc.

**dontmesswithme** · 07-10-2010, 07:16 PM

In real life (online is a different ball game) I've always got along better with men. My best friend when I was little was a boy. I was a tomboy, and still am to some extent, so that may have something to do with it. Other females usually don't want much to do with me. They're content to chat with me sometimes, but they don't want to get close to me. I can totally feel the "I'm gonna keep her at arm's length" vibes from them. I feel like I'm not invited to That Particular Party. Men like me more, so I respond to that and it's just easier to converse with them. I don't come across as being "normal", and I think men appreciate that about me more than women do. I just don't want them to hit on me in the middle of a perfectly pleasant conversation! Lol

**8iii8** · 07-10-2010, 09:10 PM

Funny, I am in the same situation and prefer the company of other females. I especially like making/hearing them laugh. But then again, I am a straight man. I get closer with NT females though specifically, with any type of discussion. I just don't have the interest to have the same discussion with a male than with a female.

**Danisty** · 07-10-2010, 10:15 PM

Yup, I've always gotten along better with males. I can relate to them more and have more common interests with them. Plus women tend to completely forget they are individuals once they have children. For some reason, mothers have an ability to relate any conversation back to a story about their kids. Fathers seem to be able to hold a conversation without changing the subject to their kids every 10 minutes. I get that if you have kids, that's part of your life, but at least have something else in your life that you can also talk about.

**Anima Mundi** · 07-11-2010, 05:50 AM

Yes. I have far more male friends and acquaintances (I would say the ratio is 90/10!) I guess it's because of certain interests of mine like video games and YGO. It's quite ironic since I'm not a tomboy in the least. And like others have said, I find that I get along better with males.

It would be nice to have a few more female friends, however.

**seeyouatx** · 07-11-2010, 05:27 PM

I'm the same way, in general. I'm a heterosexual female, but I can't handle being surrounded by women all the time. Far too much estrogen. But then again, whenever I take that personality DNA test, I always come out with high levels of masculinity. Maybe that's because I don't like fashion and make-up....

**swanhonk** · 07-12-2010, 05:26 AM

Yes. I like talking about ideas and am bored by typical female conversation topics. My best friends have always been geeky males, whom I can talk to about stuff like electromagnetism, Tesla coils, RC cars/copters/planes, robotics, cognitive science. I haven't met many females who enjoy talking about stuff like that, unfortunately.

**jmizell** · 07-12-2010, 05:44 AM

I like being around women quite a bit as well. But when it's time to go out and have a good time, 'round up the good 'ole boys, hook up to the boat, and get plenty of beer!!

**Stealthjelly** · 07-12-2010, 06:38 AM

Haha, guess I'm in the minority here, I'm a straight guy who prefers spending time with other guys. Just feel more comfortable and have more in common to talk about really, though I can talk with girls who share similar interests, I can't hold a conversation about typical girly things like make up and fashion, hahaha :P

**Napoleptic** · 07-12-2010, 06:56 AM

I'm a straight female and I've always gotten along better with guys - they make so much more sense! Women are usually so...emotional. Ew. I just relate to men far better since they seem to be more rational as compared to women, and usually when I'm friends with a couple, I feel much more in tune with the man than the woman. Most of my friends are married, however, so I probably have about equal numbers of friends of both sexes.

**8iii8** · 07-12-2010, 10:09 AM

	Originally Posted by seeyouatx To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm a heterosexual female, but I can't handle being surrounded by women all the time. Far too much estrogen.

Lol! I can handle hanging out with and having discussions with 2 other females at a time max. Even at this ratio there is more estrogen than I'm comfortable with, any more, and I'm sprinting as far away as I can. The topics of discussion just seems to get too girly, emotional, relational, more F and less T. Even though I prefer the company of women, I still am very selective as to the type of women I am willing to graduate from an acquaintance to a friend.

**Minerva** · 07-12-2010, 03:54 PM

Yes. I am a female and I am more comfortable being friends with men. My male friends far outnumber my female friends. I went to school for 14 years to all girl schools and that really turned me off from having female friends. I can't stand the drama, the talk about fashion, nails, men and his penis size, soap opera recap, Cosmopolitan magazine and the all time favourite gossip. It all makes me want to vomit
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On the other hand, I find females who are focused, decisive and not wrapped up in the world's latest trends but rather into reading, studying, deep conversations and nature etc great companions. They seem to be few though.

**Tangent** · 07-12-2010, 04:57 PM

Yes. I'm female, straight, and get along with the opposite sex a lot better.

Also, some of my closest connections are with men(Someday, I hope my "maid of honor" is my best male friend I've had since I was 13. He's like the older twin I never had.) While I do have female friends, I feel like I just can't get that same feeling of "connection." I feel with my male friends there is a simple sense of loyalty and comradery. Its about just /being/ there, chilling, hanging out, and participating in similar interests. If you have problems, you can talk about it with each other seriously and sincerely, and it doesn't become a giant pity/cry-fest. In general I've found most women to be more judgmental, high-strung, and just draining to deal with. Like its a giant competition in *everything*, not just "getting" men.

Also I tend to think more logically and have the same interests as most men, or in my case, geeky men. Its really hard to find women that genuinely *like* action movies, anime, science fiction, comic book characters, video games, etc. AND are down to earth.

So yeah, in general I just feel much more relaxed when standing in a group of mostly men/male friends shooting the breeze vs. being "stuck" in the womens circle talking about what I find to be the most boring and inane things.

I don't dislike women...Just don't prefer their company, save for a very, very, very, very small few.

**JulietCapulet** · 07-12-2010, 09:14 PM

I am a female who likes men for romance and relationships. But when it comes to friendship I tend to feel more at ease with other girls...I think I feel less threatened and nervous. Men make me nervous because I get attracted to them! I am a very girly girl. I don't know how to be just friends with a guy.

**Antares** · 07-12-2010, 11:01 PM

I'm a straight female. At school, it seems, all of my friends are girls, but I usually don't enjoy being around them immensely aside from a selected few. During the summer, however, it'd be a complete reversal. As I am with boys at school, I'm cordial with most girls during the summer, but all of my friends are guys. I just enjoy being around guys so much more. My humor usually gets into shape when I'm with guys; I'm just naturally biting and sarcastic, and my male friends love me to bits because of it.

**shytiger** · 07-13-2010, 12:30 PM

	Originally Posted by JulietCapulet To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I am a female who likes men for romance and relationships. But when it comes to friendship I tend to feel more at ease with other girls...I think I feel less threatened and nervous. Men make me nervous because I get attracted to them! I am a very girly girl. I don't know how to be just friends with a guy.

I'm this way too. I like talking to women and have attempted friendships, but I just don't know how to be friends with them. It's too easy to become attracted to them, and I often have trouble separating friendly feelings from attraction. This is especially dangerous when one is married. I'm not a strong silent type of man though, more boyish.

**sunlover** · 07-13-2010, 04:17 PM

Same here. All my closest friends(3) are currently female. Sometimes I wish it weren't the case however. Miss the male bonding of earlier years.

**Zabrina** · 07-13-2010, 05:03 PM

The stereotypical female drives me crazy. >.< If you want me to take you seriously, don't giggle about fashion and makeup constantly.

Luckily, I have two female best friends (INTJ and ENFJ) with whom I can discuss trivial matters sometimes and more important things sometimes, without feeling like my brain cells are dying off one at a time.

I also tend to get along better with guys for that same reason, but again, by sheer chance I've found girls who share my opinion of the typical female.

**MadCatter** · 07-15-2010, 03:58 PM

Definitely tend to relate better to males than females. My two closest friends however are female, and both are INFJ and ISTJ.

**Booko** · 07-15-2010, 04:15 PM

Originally Posted by TheEnlightenedOne
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I've come to realize that, though I'm a straight male, I've always been more comfortable and actually enjoyed spending time more with females than males. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I have a much harder time bonding with males and finding common interests/activities to share with them. I also tend to prefer the usual demeanor of females more than that of males (based on my experiences interacting with both).

My best friend's husband is this way. He would rather hang out with a bunch of women -- he says we are far more interesting.

As for me, up until I was about 30 I much preferred the company of men. A lot of this was due to the fact that things I enjoyed doing/talking about were not commonly found among women. I love motorcycles, hunting, fishing, and wargames. And chick flicks? Uh...I would rather be set on fire.

I still find men more low-maintenance generally, which is something I appreciate. I like people to be around but they don't have to be in my face either. I require a lot of quiet time.

**LifesEcstasy** · 07-15-2010, 05:12 PM

I prefer males for friendship and I am female. I find they put far fewer expectations on the friendship than females. Females want you to call them at certain times, give them sympathy even their own stupidity is at fault. They don't like it when you give it to them straight and take that personally.

Like has been said they lose their identity when they have kids or become married and talk constantly about their relationship,partner & kids as if they themselves no longer exist. As a single female with no kids nor aspirations for them this gets extremely tedious. I'm also entrepreneurial and find few females really interested in that but plenty of males like to talk about their little sideline businesses and aspirations in that direction. It's fun to share ideas.

But curiously I prefer F males to T males, depending upon how strong they are in either direction. I like a male who is closer to balanced than on the extreme.

**HAL 9000** · 07-16-2010, 06:25 AM

On balance, I'd say I have more female friends (hard call to make). Part of it is, I suppose, my extroversion. Women tend to talk more with each other (and with men if they happen to have willing recipients), so they give more for my little brain to play with.

I also like the company of men because every move they make isn't a Rubik's cube. Then again, part of the reason I enjoy spending time with women is precisely because I find them in some ways puzzling.

In the end my general rule is "play it by ear."

07-10-2010, 05:52 PM	#1
TheEnlightenedOne Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 100	I've come to realize that, though I'm a straight male, I've always been more comfortable and actually enjoyed spending time more with females than males. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I have a much harder time bonding with males and finding common interests/activities to share with them. I also tend to prefer the usual demeanor of females more than that of males (based on my experiences interacting with both). Does anyone else share this experience?
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07-10-2010, 06:24 PM	#2
Dover Member [12%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 507	I am a straight female and am more comfortable with the opposite sex as well. I don't really enjoy the company of women. I mean, I have close female friends, but I prefer being around men. A lot of the times when I'm around women, all they want to do it complain. I will admit I do this every so often, but not constantly like some women. Men are just easier to be around. They are sensible and less emotional.
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07-10-2010, 06:27 PM	#3
True Rune Core Member [200%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 8,007	Same here. I've often been relieved when meeting someone for something (like looking at schools) that I met with a woman and not a man. Weird.
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07-10-2010, 06:32 PM	#4
GouldFan Veteran Member [99%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 3,967	I concur. I usually end up getting along better with male friends, male class mates, etc.
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07-10-2010, 07:16 PM	#5
dontmesswithme Core Member [129%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 5,163	In real life (online is a different ball game) I've always got along better with men. My best friend when I was little was a boy. I was a tomboy, and still am to some extent, so that may have something to do with it. Other females usually don't want much to do with me. They're content to chat with me sometimes, but they don't want to get close to me. I can totally feel the "I'm gonna keep her at arm's length" vibes from them. I feel like I'm not invited to That Particular Party. Men like me more, so I respond to that and it's just easier to converse with them. I don't come across as being "normal", and I think men appreciate that about me more than women do. I just don't want them to hit on me in the middle of a perfectly pleasant conversation! Lol
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07-10-2010, 09:10 PM	#6
8iii8 Member [04%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 188	Funny, I am in the same situation and prefer the company of other females. I especially like making/hearing them laugh. But then again, I am a straight man. I get closer with NT females though specifically, with any type of discussion. I just don't have the interest to have the same discussion with a male than with a female.
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07-10-2010, 10:15 PM	#7
Danisty Member [32%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 1,285	Yup, I've always gotten along better with males. I can relate to them more and have more common interests with them. Plus women tend to completely forget they are individuals once they have children. For some reason, mothers have an ability to relate any conversation back to a story about their kids. Fathers seem to be able to hold a conversation without changing the subject to their kids every 10 minutes. I get that if you have kids, that's part of your life, but at least have something else in your life that you can also talk about.
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07-11-2010, 05:50 AM	#8
Anima Mundi Member [18%] MBTI: INXX Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 742	Yes. I have far more male friends and acquaintances (I would say the ratio is 90/10!) I guess it's because of certain interests of mine like video games and YGO. It's quite ironic since I'm not a tomboy in the least. And like others have said, I find that I get along better with males. It would be nice to have a few more female friends, however.
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07-11-2010, 05:27 PM	#9
seeyouatx Member [34%] MBTI: ISTJ Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 1,392	I'm the same way, in general. I'm a heterosexual female, but I can't handle being surrounded by women all the time. Far too much estrogen. But then again, whenever I take that personality DNA test, I always come out with high levels of masculinity. Maybe that's because I don't like fashion and make-up....
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07-12-2010, 05:26 AM	#10
swanhonk New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 69	Yes. I like talking about ideas and am bored by typical female conversation topics. My best friends have always been geeky males, whom I can talk to about stuff like electromagnetism, Tesla coils, RC cars/copters/planes, robotics, cognitive science. I haven't met many females who enjoy talking about stuff like that, unfortunately.
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07-12-2010, 05:44 AM	#11
jmizell Member [18%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 730	I like being around women quite a bit as well. But when it's time to go out and have a good time, 'round up the good 'ole boys, hook up to the boat, and get plenty of beer!!
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07-12-2010, 06:38 AM	#12
Stealthjelly Member [12%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 483	Haha, guess I'm in the minority here, I'm a straight guy who prefers spending time with other guys. Just feel more comfortable and have more in common to talk about really, though I can talk with girls who share similar interests, I can't hold a conversation about typical girly things like make up and fashion, hahaha :P
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07-12-2010, 06:56 AM	#13
Napoleptic Member [13%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 520	I'm a straight female and I've always gotten along better with guys - they make so much more sense! Women are usually so...emotional. Ew. I just relate to men far better since they seem to be more rational as compared to women, and usually when I'm friends with a couple, I feel much more in tune with the man than the woman. Most of my friends are married, however, so I probably have about equal numbers of friends of both sexes.
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07-12-2010, 03:54 PM	#15
Minerva Core Member [233%] MBTI: ISFJ Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 9,322	Yes. I am a female and I am more comfortable being friends with men. My male friends far outnumber my female friends. I went to school for 14 years to all girl schools and that really turned me off from having female friends. I can't stand the drama, the talk about fashion, nails, men and his penis size, soap opera recap, Cosmopolitan magazine and the all time favourite gossip. It all makes me want to vomit To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. On the other hand, I find females who are focused, decisive and not wrapped up in the world's latest trends but rather into reading, studying, deep conversations and nature etc great companions. They seem to be few though.
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07-12-2010, 04:57 PM	#16
Tangent New Member [01%] MBTI: INxJ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 47	Yes. I'm female, straight, and get along with the opposite sex a lot better. Also, some of my closest connections are with men(Someday, I hope my "maid of honor" is my best male friend I've had since I was 13. He's like the older twin I never had.) While I do have female friends, I feel like I just can't get that same feeling of "connection." I feel with my male friends there is a simple sense of loyalty and comradery. Its about just /being/ there, chilling, hanging out, and participating in similar interests. If you have problems, you can talk about it with each other seriously and sincerely, and it doesn't become a giant pity/cry-fest. In general I've found most women to be more judgmental, high-strung, and just draining to deal with. Like its a giant competition in everything, not just "getting" men. Also I tend to think more logically and have the same interests as most men, or in my case, geeky men. Its really hard to find women that genuinely like action movies, anime, science fiction, comic book characters, video games, etc. AND are down to earth. So yeah, in general I just feel much more relaxed when standing in a group of mostly men/male friends shooting the breeze vs. being "stuck" in the womens circle talking about what I find to be the most boring and inane things. I don't dislike women...Just don't prefer their company, save for a very, very, very, very small few.
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07-12-2010, 09:14 PM	#17
JulietCapulet Veteran Member [96%] MBTI: XNFX Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 3,865	I am a female who likes men for romance and relationships. But when it comes to friendship I tend to feel more at ease with other girls...I think I feel less threatened and nervous. Men make me nervous because I get attracted to them! I am a very girly girl. I don't know how to be just friends with a guy.
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07-12-2010, 11:01 PM	#18
Antares Core Member [170%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 6,808	I'm a straight female. At school, it seems, all of my friends are girls, but I usually don't enjoy being around them immensely aside from a selected few. During the summer, however, it'd be a complete reversal. As I am with boys at school, I'm cordial with most girls during the summer, but all of my friends are guys. I just enjoy being around guys so much more. My humor usually gets into shape when I'm with guys; I'm just naturally biting and sarcastic, and my male friends love me to bits because of it.
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07-13-2010, 04:17 PM	#20
sunlover Member [23%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 955	Same here. All my closest friends(3) are currently female. Sometimes I wish it weren't the case however. Miss the male bonding of earlier years.
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07-13-2010, 05:03 PM	#21
Zabrina New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 18	The stereotypical female drives me crazy. >.< If you want me to take you seriously, don't giggle about fashion and makeup constantly. Luckily, I have two female best friends (INTJ and ENFJ) with whom I can discuss trivial matters sometimes and more important things sometimes, without feeling like my brain cells are dying off one at a time. I also tend to get along better with guys for that same reason, but again, by sheer chance I've found girls who share my opinion of the typical female.
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07-15-2010, 03:58 PM	#22
MadCatter New Member [01%] MBTI: intj Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 12	Definitely tend to relate better to males than females. My two closest friends however are female, and both are INFJ and ISTJ.
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07-15-2010, 05:12 PM	#24
LifesEcstasy Member [45%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 1,804	I prefer males for friendship and I am female. I find they put far fewer expectations on the friendship than females. Females want you to call them at certain times, give them sympathy even their own stupidity is at fault. They don't like it when you give it to them straight and take that personally. Like has been said they lose their identity when they have kids or become married and talk constantly about their relationship,partner & kids as if they themselves no longer exist. As a single female with no kids nor aspirations for them this gets extremely tedious. I'm also entrepreneurial and find few females really interested in that but plenty of males like to talk about their little sideline businesses and aspirations in that direction. It's fun to share ideas. But curiously I prefer F males to T males, depending upon how strong they are in either direction. I like a male who is closer to balanced than on the extreme.
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07-16-2010, 06:25 AM	#25
HAL 9000 Member [35%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 1,429	On balance, I'd say I have more female friends (hard call to make). Part of it is, I suppose, my extroversion. Women tend to talk more with each other (and with men if they happen to have willing recipients), so they give more for my little brain to play with. I also like the company of men because every move they make isn't a Rubik's cube. Then again, part of the reason I enjoy spending time with women is precisely because I find them in some ways puzzling. In the end my general rule is "play it by ear."
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