[Evangelist]

In the middle of my twenties, I cut my hair off. I chopped that mess down to the size of tacomeat. As a black female, I got tired of glue, weave, wigs, and sew ins. I got tired of relaxers to straighten it and then perm rods to curl it. I just got tired. A few weeks ago in a hair salon, I was asked not to cut my hair. The reason, was basically so that I can get a man. I rebelled, but for the sake of peace I agreed. My hair is basically bushy and unattractive since the back of it is faded. I don't know how to express to my friends, that I am alright the way I am. It prompted me to ask, "What is up with having hair". To top it off, a little boy yelled from his front yard to his dad. He said, "Look Dad, it's a boy dressed up like a girl".

Does Hair make you more feminine?

[Jarem Asyder]

well classically hair is used as a pretty big iconographic sign of gender. I don't think it necessarily makes you more feminine more. I'm a white male and have pretty long hair.

	As a black female

I think this may be the issue that you're running into. Classically a black person's hair was considered negative since the ideal of cultural beauty is long flowing tame hair that white people possess. Black women are often pressured into fitting into that sort of feminine ideal rather than just letting their hair be natural and healthy.

If you're comfortable with your hair the way it is, then just keep it like that. If someone is going to make a shallow judgement based on your hair then they aren't really worth your time and energy.

[daydreamer]

good hair is a sexy accessory, short or long

[Cooper]

Screw them, be yourself. I have had grey hair since I was 16 years old and now I am noticing that my hairline is starting to recede. Oh, well. If someone is going to deem you worthy or unworthy based on your hair, they are the ones not worth your time. Tell your friends that, and carry on with your life. As for what the kid yelled, thats kids....its rude and uncalled for, and is a refection on the parents, not you.

[antiant]

*ahem*

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[fwiffo]

Yes, it makes you more feminine (as society perceives femininity).

I have a unique love/hate relationship with my hair. As an Asian female, ever since a young age other classmates would compliment me about my hair because it was long, black, and silky. Near the end of elementary school, I sensed something amiss. I was the top (or near the top) in my class, yet no one ever commented on that like it was a good thing. Comments about my intelligence usually had a certain negative, perhaps jealous, tone to them. Comments about my hair were overwhelmingly positive.

It bothered me that something so superficial about my appearance was what people seemed to like the most about me, so after elementary school I cut it to a bob. And things didn't go as planned. For some reason, when my hair was cut short, I started to get a bunch of curly, frizzy hairs. Rather than the typical East Asian hair, it became big (out to my shoulders like a mane) and frizzy.

So, the result was that I was teased incessantly about my hair. I tried to grow it long again hoping the frizz would go away, but it never did. I went through a horribly awkward phase at the same time. By the time high school rolled around, I grew resentful of how intimately the feminine image was tied to hair, and I chopped it all off again, over and over. I had a crew cut for a while. And every time I cut it off, people would react with shock and disappointment.

My experience has led me to become rather disillusioned with how important hair is for women. For my adult life, I've kept my hair short. The exception is that I grew it out for my wedding so that I'd be able to put it into updos. A family member who saw me with long hair (she had only seen me with short hair before) immediately gushed about how much more she liked my long hair and how it was more feminine. My gut reaction was a burning desire to chop my hair off again.

My hair is long now. I've been thinking of trying something new and dreadlocking it. Or chopping it all off and dying it green. Or shaving down bald. One way or another, I don't really care anymore. It's all in the spirit of experimentation.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. I think I stated the major idea of this post a while ago. I am both surprised and disappointed by how intimately hair and the appearance of gender conformity are tied to social worth.


edit: changed "dreading" to make my meaning more clear!

[dontmesswithme]

My hair does make me more feminine. About 8 years ago I decided I wanted to try a shorter look (I had it cut above chin length in a boyishly feminine style). This was after a lifetime of long hair. I liked it for the proverbial week, then couldn't wait for it to grow back. I missed feeling hair around my face. To me, it feels sensual and that makes me feel more like a woman. It took about 5 years to get to the length it is now, which is just past shoulder length and the way I like it the most. I'm never cutting it like that again. That's just me, though. I've seen women who have very short hair and it really suits them and obviously makes them happy. And that's sexy and beautiful.

It's really a confidence thing. Just be yourself and others should be appreciative of that. If they aren't then you need to ask yourself why their opinions of you matter so much to you.

[Rationality]

Yeah, hairstyles are an indicator of gender. But of course hair length isn't intrinsically feminine or masculine and alot of women look good with short hair. If really short is too masculine, you could try a mid-length style. One time I decided to chop all of my hair off, but I didn't like it -- I was at a museum and an older man even mistook me for a boy! So I keep mine long now.

[Lurch]

From my perspective (as a man) this is a bit puzzling that some women see it as a negative that their hair makes them more feminine.

To flip it around, if I grew a beard and someone told me it made me look more masculine, I'd take that as a compliment and be pleased.
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Okay, I was going to delete the lines above because my perspective has shifted, but I'll leave it there for just for sh*ts and grins .

I think I get where you (women) are coming from. It'd be like if I had a beard, then shaved it off and everyone started going on about how much more manly I looked when I had the beard, but I didn't want the beard because it was itchy and uncomfortable. Do I have it right now...?

Yeah, I can see where that'd be annoying.

[fwiffo]

Originally Posted by Lurch To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Okay, I was going to delete the lines above because my perspective has shifted, but I'll leave it there for just for sh*ts and grins . I think I get where you (women) are coming from. It'd be like if I had a beard, then shaved it off and everyone started going on about how much more manly I looked when I had the beard, but I didn't want the beard because it was itchy and uncomfortable. Do I have it right now...? Yeah, I can see where that'd be annoying.

Yes, that's essentially it, though I suspect the effect is larger for women because so much importance is put on our appearance.


Of course, I believe this experience pales in comparison to the dilemma that black women face with their hair. On top of straight hair being seen as more "sexy," there is also a bias in the workplace against afrocentric styles. Also the time/money investment to achieve straight hair seems much higher and more likely to conflict with my ideology. I think I would get the nagging feeling that I was giving in to a eurocentric view of beauty and resent the pressure to conform.

[Lurch]

	Originally Posted by fwiffo To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Yes, that's essentially it, though I suspect the effect is larger for women because so much importance is put on our appearance. .....

What really sucks is that now the media/marketing machine is starting to target guys the way it has targeted women for years. Man-scara (makeup), man-tyhose, man-purse, etc. etc. Not to mention that guys are now expected not to have any body hair. Think back to those old James Bond movies with hairy-chested Sean Connery. Now try to think of any recent action/adventure flick where the leading male actor had any chest hair. I'm guessing there aren't many, if any. I sympathize now with women who are expected to shave everything.

[Aurelia]

	Originally Posted by Evangelist To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Does Hair make you more feminine?

For many people long hair is associated with femininity, beauty and youth. I think of hair as being only one part of your physical package. Halle Berry is one of the most beautiful women in my opinion. She looks gorgeous with short hair or long hair.


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You can be feminine with shorter hair. It just depends on how it fits in with your overall style.

[Napoleptic]

	Originally Posted by fwiffo To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	...and resent the pressure to conform.

This is where I would have a problem (I often say that I would rather die than conform, and I'm only half-joking about it). Looking more feminine isn't a bad or a good thing - I go with what makes me stop and preen every time I go by the mirror.
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But being asked to conform (grr) to someone else's idea of what I should look like? Don't get me started.
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Do what makes you happy, and if someone wants something different, tell them they can style their own hair that way.

As for your question "does hair make you feminine?", I don't think hair makes you more feminine - I think it makes people perceive you that way. It all depends on a culture's view of gender roles at that particular moment in time.

[Linwenilid]

	Originally Posted by daydreamer To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	good hair is a sexy accessory, short or long

True.

Originally Posted by Napoleptic To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Looking more feminine isn't a bad or a good thing - I go with what makes me stop and preen every time I go by the mirror. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. But being asked to conform (grr) to someone else's idea of what I should look like? Don't get me started. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Do what makes you happy, and if someone wants something different, tell them they can style their own hair that way.

Agree completely.

The thing with hair is that it is a good marker of health (AFAIK): lustrous, shiny hair means the person in question is healthy, and that's a desirable trait in a female, in mating terms. And straight hair shows shine better than curly hair, which is why there's so many products bent on making hair... er, shinier and straighter; hairstyles like highlights also produce this effect. Of course, in this point of history, no one can really rely on hair shininess to evaluate a woman's health, considering all the means to fake it; also, that's not the only evolutionary health/fertility marker: there's skin, shape, even eye-size (and other things I don't remember right now), etc., and as humans, we can't really help being convinced that it is our duty to look our "best", considering our own reproduction/survival drive, hence the ultra-profitable "beauty" industry. But allowing these "principles" to rule our lives would be to resort to our most basic instincts and practically become animals, so I think it's perfectly fine to skip the whole thing if one wants to.

As for me, I love it when my hair looks good. I'm thinking of doing one of those permanent straightenings to avoid having to style my hair every day, which would save me a lot of time in the morning. I've never had a very short hairstyle, but think it would probably be interesting and a whole lot easier to style; I guess I still don't dare doing it, or rather, I haven't really got tired of mid-length hair; I still have a lot of fun with it.
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I guess the bottomline is, I like looking pretty but I don't think others should like the same things I do.

[Elfrun]

	Originally Posted by Evangelist To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Does Hair make you more feminine?

Hair makes others perceive me as more or less feminine.

My dismal amount of innate femininity is irrelevant, if I have long hair they consider me feminine, and what's more my interactions with strangers tend to be different.

It's odd actually. I cut my hair off at about 18 and only recently grew it long for about a year or so as I had to be in a wedding and apparently that requires long hair (social conventions are strange), I have now cut it off again, it has a big impact on how others perceive and interact me.

With long hair I get hit on more, so it must have something to do with sexuality and attraction. With long hair people are more inclined to do things for me, so it must be a sign of incompetence, weakness or link back into the attraction point. With long hair strangers seem more relaxed around me, I'm adhering to social conventions of how a female should look (cause I certainly don't act that feminine). With long hair they clearly see me as feminine.

With short hair people can still link it to sexuality, only the assumption is I'm gay. With short hair people don't feel the need to help me, I must seem more competent or unapproachable. With short hair people are less inclined to strike up a random conversation with me, I must be perceived as less friendly. With short hair I'm clearly seen as not feminine enough.

I like how people interact with me when my hair is long (with the exception of thinking I'm incompetent), but I dislike having long hair so *shrug* it is what it is.