[Maverick]

How do you deal with people who envy you, that you cannot simply ignore, and that become competitive with you socially?

Do you show benign weakness or mistakes? Or do you make a point of flaunting even more your achievements?

Ironically, I have found that people tolerate it better if you become more boastful/dominant. It seems like they actually enjoy you putting them back into their place, and that they like you to "punish" them. It's as if they feel dissapointed if you don't act in a superior way.

Thoughts?

[MissDistant]

Cannot simply ignore them? How horrid that must be. Being so seemingly impervious makes me rather boring to try and provoke. I don’t have all the facts, but it sounds as though getting a reaction out of you is what they are trying to do here. I would find that rather humorous in a condescending way.

I wouldn’t feel the need to show mistakes or flaunt accomplishments, as that would be giving a reaction, and therefore reinforce the negative behavior. I am good at what I do and that speaks for itself; I’m sure the same is for you.

If anything, I would try to read between the lines of their behavior and blatantly call them on the underlying cause (in a very logical, apathetic fashion). However, if this is a workplace issue, a personal attack probably isn’t the best way to go. Boy, not much help am I? Best of luck.

[sriv]

To give an example:
Me and my friend play Super Smash Bros professionally. I am better than him so much that I win all my matches. When I win, I keep quiet in a humble way expecting him to analyze why he lost and how he can do better, but that is not what he was doing. He expected me to boast and rub it in, like what he does to a large extent when he gets a lucky win, but that is not my style. He said the silence was more insulting than anything he could possibly utter.

People generally like you to communicate with them on things like this. Some enjoy being disciplined. If they are not disciplined, they never learn anything, so their mind gets used to being disciplined.

[pallasathena]

I have two, maybe three questions regarding your post. One, are you referring to people you've been meeting in general or one person in particular? Also, if it is one person, are they male or female? Finally, what is it about you that makes them envious?

[Maverick]

	Originally Posted by MissDistant To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Cannot simply ignore them? How horrid that must be. Being so seemingly impervious makes me rather boring to try and provoke. I don’t have all the facts, but it sounds as though getting a reaction out of you is what they are trying to do here. I would find that rather humorous in a condescending way.

Yes, I think you're right... It's to get a reaction.

	Originally Posted by sriv To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	People generally like you to communicate with them on things like this. Some enjoy being disciplined. If they are not disciplined, they never learn anything, so their mind gets used to being disciplined.

Good point.

	Originally Posted by pallasathena To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I have two, maybe three questions regarding your post. One, are you referring to people you've been meeting in general or one person in particular? Also, if it is one person, are they male or female? Finally, what is it about you that makes them envious?

I have noticed a pattern with some people and other NTJ's have talked to me about having noticed this too. I was thinking that NTJ's, being naturally strong and achievers, may be prone to eliciting this kind of feeling in other people more than other types.

But your intuition is correct and I was currently thinking about this due to a particular person, who is female. She used to be quite pleasant. She told me once "I want to be like you". Since then she has become competitive. I'm disappointed because I liked her alot more when she was just friendly.

She says that I am very efficient and organized. She says she doesn't understand how I can do as much and be in leadership positions. Finally, she says I'm a charming person.

It feels good to receive those kind of comments at first, but I feel as though she hasn't got enough self-respect and lacks self-confidence.

[MissDistant]

	Originally Posted by Maverick To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	She used to be quite pleasant. She told me once "I want to be like you". Since then she has become competitive. I'm disappointed because I liked her alot more when she was just friendly.

This may be way out there, but perhaps she is attracted to you and trying to get your attention??

She could feel inferior and is trying to prove she is good enough for you by competing. Just a thought....

[Danneh]

One of my classmates is like that, she's forever telling me how intelligent I am, yet when she gets something right that I didn't, she boasts. If it's the opposite, I just let it fly over, and go back to reading my book. Nancy normally ends up asking "What's your problem?" I just.. don't get it in the least.

[pallasathena]

	but I feel as though she hasn't got enough self-respect and lacks self-confidence

Maverick,

You just answered your own question.
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[The Many]

Fascinating topic, as I have been (and is) in this situation myself. At this moment, there is a guy in my English course who seems to mentally get off on me defeating him in debates... It got irritating, so I mailed him and told him to stop doing that nonsense. It worked quite well originally, but he seems to have taken up the behaviour again as we ended up in some other discussion that I ended up winning. I am not sure about what to do about it now, I suppose I will have to see where things are going when I meet this guy in person again on Monday.

Coming to think of this subject, I have known quite a few people who have gotten off on being put down like this... some have even gotten very attracted to me. What you are (or perhaps, one is) essentially doing when being this high-achieving is to demonstrate abilities and strength, which often creates feelings of inferiority in others. This creates what I call secondary power, in that the person either may come to admire your words or act competitively against you. It seems in your case (i.e. Maverick's) that this competition may very well be a matter of attraction as Miss Distant says, whilst in my case it is (at least hopefully, as I am not gay) merely a question of irritation.

[Darkmist]

My husband does this (he is ENTP). We are always are in competition and I HATE competition. I've learned that he needs to be the best and that my type is a huge challenge to his ego. (alpha's sparring?) What to do do though? I don't know.

[INTJoe]

ENTPs are the least intelligent of the rationals, so they probably feel inferior to the 3 other rationals. However, because their E and P make them better at speaking and reacting in social setting, they will use it to try to make INTJs look or feel dumb. I've noticed this with ENTPs, and when it happens in real life I try to just walk away and ignore them. It's like they have an orgasm any time they can trick somebody into getting into a pointless debate. Especially in an area they are more knowledgeable (ldo). My philosophy is "Whatever, dude, you do it your way, I'll do it mine. I reeeally don't care that much about you, or how awesome you think you are." I don't understand why people constantly want to debate, and one-up everybody. I don't require this, and I sleep really well at night.
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INTJs are inwardly competetive. I don't need to "one-up" some dude in a social setting to know what the life score is.

[Jgib5328]

Originally Posted by INTJoe To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

ENTPs are the least intelligent of the rationals, so they probably feel inferior to the 3 other rationals. However, because their E and P make them better at speaking and reacting in social setting, they will use it to try to make INTJs look or feel dumb. I've noticed this with ENTPs, and when it happens in real life I try to just walk away and ignore them. It's like they have an orgasm any time they can trick somebody into getting into a pointless debate. Especially in an area they are more knowledgeable (ldo). My philosophy is "Whatever, dude, you do it your way, I'll do it mine. I reeeally don't care that much about you, or how awesome you think you are." I don't understand why people constantly want to debate, and one-up everybody. I don't require this, and I sleep really well at night. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. INTJs are inwardly competetive. I don't need to "one-up" some dude in a social setting to know what the life score is.

ENTPs are the least intelligent? Where is your evidence of this? ENTPs do tend to be brash like you said. One of my ENTP friends is really aggressive and debating him can be annoying, but he is a really quick thinker and he is practically a genius.

[Solaris]

Originally Posted by INTJoe To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

ENTPs are the least intelligent of the rationals, so they probably feel inferior to the 3 other rationals. However, because their E and P make them better at speaking and reacting in social setting, they will use it to try to make INTJs look or feel dumb. I've noticed this with ENTPs, and when it happens in real life I try to just walk away and ignore them. It's like they have an orgasm any time they can trick somebody into getting into a pointless debate. Especially in an area they are more knowledgeable (ldo). My philosophy is "Whatever, dude, you do it your way, I'll do it mine. I reeeally don't care that much about you, or how awesome you think you are." I don't understand why people constantly want to debate, and one-up everybody. I don't require this, and I sleep really well at night. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. INTJs are inwardly competetive. I don't need to "one-up" some dude in a social setting to know what the life score is.

This sounds like a very subjective opinion based on limited personal experience. There are asses in every type. True, ENTPs do like to one-up everyone, but not all are obnoxious about it. Check out their forum, they think it's fun, not annoying. Most are not asses. They just don't seem to accomplish quite enough for my taste though. I guess that's about the same feeling between INTPs and INTJs?

[INTJoe]

	Originally Posted by Jgib5328 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	ENTPs are the least intelligent? Where is your evidence of this? ENTPs do tend to be brash like you said. One of my ENTP friends is really aggressive and debating him can be annoying, but he is a really quick thinker and he is practically a genius.

I said least intelligent of the Rationals (NT's). They're still going to be far more intelligent than most people. That is if it is true that an N is 28 times more likely to have a genius-level IQ than an S, and an I 8 times more likely than E, T 2.5 more likely than F, and J twice as likely as P.

Wouldn't it make sense that ENTPs would then be the least intelligent group of the rationals? It seems so in my real-life observations as well. That doesn't mean your friend isn't a genius. There are anomolies and outliers, of course. And yeah, he probably is a quick thinker, that isn't a direct correlation with ultimate intelligence level. This is probably why ENTP love getting into debates with the other rationals. It's a challenge for them, but they're so good with words that it often seems like they're winning the argument. This is when the other rationals would walk away and abandon the futile effort, while still knowing they're right, and not having to prove it to anybody.