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INTJ men with INFP women intj and infp
Old 06-07-2010, 08:50 PM   #26
Banin
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  Originally Posted by SereCompostela
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"Why do I like you? Well, Why NOT?? Is there a reason why I shouldn't??"
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Be careful with that line. I believe you intend to use it rhetorically, but I can pretty much guarantee an INTJ will have a concrete lists of reasons why someone shouldn't like them. INTJs are good at knowing both their strengths and their weakness, and will list either when prompted.

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Old 06-07-2010, 08:54 PM   #27
dandillilion
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Sorry about the irrelevant first two paragraphs; I'm new so I didn't realize I had posted on a dead thread. Here's the original post I was referring to.

 
INFP+INTJ attraction: can it work? Just wondering because; I have this EXTREMELY attractive intj friend. He only seems attracted to me when I'm more extroverted, which is not at all impossible but indeed not the norm for me --granted I also don't know him very well at all..but before I make a move I was just wondering about the compatability status of an intj/infp..or if its natural or possible; I had researched a little bit on my own and unfortunately my findings weren't at all gratifying - aka - some articles said it wouldn't work/wasn't likely.. I know its hard to pigeonhole people and/or relationships, (and I don't really like to either at all) but I need help because being around him is a tad akward at times....I'm just not sure if its possible for an intj and infp to work! I was wondering if anyone had any advice about how to approach this, because after all, he is GORGEOUS Any advice at all from either infp's or intj's or whoever you are would be great--thanks so much!

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Old 06-08-2010, 02:55 PM   #28
SereCompostela
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  Originally Posted by Banin
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Be careful with that line. I believe you intend to use it rhetorically, but I can pretty much guarantee an INTJ will have a concrete lists of reasons why someone shouldn't like them. INTJs are good at knowing both their strengths and their weakness, and will list either when prompted.

Yes, I would have used it in a sarcastic manner; however, if he did insist on listing his weaknesses or faults, I would offer my assurance in that I don't believe they would deter me from liking him...
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Don't worry Dandilion... I enjoyed reading the information that you have posted!! Thank you anyway, even when you intended on writing in a different thread
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:08 PM   #29
BostonIan
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  Originally Posted by SereCompostela
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Are there any succeeding relationships and/or marriages of the INTJ/INFP mix.? (Preferrably, if the man is INTJ and the woman INFP.)

Can you tell me what it is like: affection, connections, conversation, the overall autonomy of the relationship?
The Do's and Don'ts of how to treat and care for eachother.
What attracted you to eachother and how do you make it work/last?
What are your opinions of eachother?

Plus, whatever advice you're willing to give for me or those who want to enter into this kind of relationship/mix.

I'd love all opinions if you're willing to share! Thanks in advance.

Oldish thread; it took a while to get the urge. I've been dating an INFP for the better part of a year, my longest relationship; it's going quite well.

Initially, I fell sure and first. Minutes to establish attraction, hours for affection, a few days for my requirement checklist ticking. In terms of approach and early relationship, I rec'mend what I call the Michael Myers approach. Ax murderer walks forward calmly, determinedly. Frightened young lady runs in out of the house, up down stairs, in out a car, into the closet. Where he find her. Moral, there's no benefit to adding shakiness to someone intrinsically having flights of shakiness. Being sure and committed enough for two people, though hopefully not pushing or pulling directly, was an early key.

Half of the relationship is a compatibility. Half is the contrast that, in the better days, is complementary - yinyang, halves making whole. INFP's live to drill away at the INTJ exterior, the promise of some deep well of emotion. Prime example, my INFP admitted that, having brought me to an uncharacteristic cussing rage, she felt a sense of victory. An inner "squee!". Yay at the big angry man!

For our part, INFP's provide depth of unknowability that is extremely alluring. They're forever studyable, but never fully knowable, a hidden depth that no other type provides. She's a buried part of me expressed and realized, familiar but foreign. Meh, now she wants to go to bed. In summation: Touch a lot. Don't avoid important fights. Don't over-react. Don't try too hard. Don't go on "busy" or loud dates. Be authentic. Go to bed. Zzz. Zzz.

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Old 06-09-2010, 07:09 AM   #30
Lil
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Bostonian said: "Meh. Now she wants to go to bed."

What did you mean by this comment?
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Old 06-09-2010, 06:13 PM   #31
katrin
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  Originally Posted by BostonIan
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In terms of approach and early relationship, I rec'mend what I call the Michael Myers approach. Ax murderer walks forward calmly, determinedly. Frightened young lady runs in out of the house, up down stairs, in out a car, into the closet. Where he find her. Moral, there's no benefit to adding shakiness to someone intrinsically having flights of shakiness.

I don't understand this passage but yikes what scary imagery.


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Old 06-09-2010, 06:58 PM   #32
Allen3373
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  Originally Posted by katrin
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I don't understand this passage but yikes what scary imagery.


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Yeah, I agree. I have no idea what that means. Please explain!

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Old 06-09-2010, 09:33 PM   #33
BostonIan
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Yeah, remind me not to post before going to bed:
  • "Now she wants to go to bed" means that the INFP next to me was asking to shut the computer off and get to bed.
  • The Michael Myers Approach: you'd have to be
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    . He's the walker-stalker baddy, moving at a tenth the speed of his running victims, yet catching them in the end. I stop the comparison before the murdering, if that helps. Tortoise and the hare, maybe?

I've known my INFP to be "fluttery", especially early in the relationship. My direct, straight-line relationship approach being something that had to be run away from, processed and known before the relationship could continue. At a shaky point, shaking in response to a shaker would only make her shakier.

My graphical representation of what I know of an INTJ/INFP relationship:

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I move in smoother lines, she moves in zigging lines that average into the same, meeting at serendipitous points in time. Especially in the beginning, there was the danger of mistaking her "flutters", the momentary change of direction, as a greater change in course.
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Old 06-09-2010, 10:51 PM   #34
Storm
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  Originally Posted by BostonIan
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My graphical representation of what I know of an INTJ/INFP relationship:

What does the Y axis represent? Is this an actual graph you are keeping?

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Old 06-13-2010, 09:43 PM   #35
JulietCapulet
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I know an infp/intj match and they had a long amazing relationship. I think it was hard though because the infp had trouble getting enough warmth and romance from the intj.
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Old 06-14-2010, 02:51 AM   #36
LadyInHeels
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Does any one have any insight on the reverse (female INTJ + male INFP)? I'm extremely curious.....
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