[Dimitri]

1 to 2 good actual friends the other two I use for things like beer and buying things, I convince him to get new expensive games So i do not have to spend my own cash.

[lambpox]

The title of this thread is puzzling. What is their purpose? Are they objects or tools of some sort? Knowing some INTJs, I suppose so...but yes, their purpose is to be good friends; what else?

[sixpoint8]

	Originally Posted by lambpox To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	The title of this thread is puzzling.

Taken literally the title might be puzzling—my mind flagged it briefly—however, the OP seemed to be asking what specific utility you derive from your "good friends". I presume he finds it interesting the ways you enjoy your friends

	Originally Posted by lambpox To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	… Are they objects or tools of some sort? …

I can't speak for the OP, but to me everything is an object. What is important is the properties you assign to that object, for instance it's importance to you. :D

	Originally Posted by lambpox To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	… their purpose is to be good friends; what else?

Obviously their purpose is to be good friends, but in what way are they good to you?

[JustMel]

Currently to keep me from killing the motherfucker.

[ModernLit]

their purpose?! geez, that just boils down years and years of friendships to a need :/ that makes me a bit uncomfortable, seeing as how i only have perhaps ONE good friend i can trust. as in, we've been friends for over two decades, and she was my first friend as a kid who had just moved to LA. even if she's far away, i feel like she listens to me and offers kind words and support. she's good for bouncing creative ideas and entertaining with boy adventure stories.

[VF1J]

Originally Posted by ModernLit To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

their purpose?! geez, that just boils down years and years of friendships to a need :/ that makes me a bit uncomfortable, seeing as how i only have perhaps ONE good friend i can trust. as in, we've been friends for over two decades, and she was my first friend as a kid who had just moved to LA. even if she's far away, i feel like she listens to me and offers kind words and support. she's good for bouncing creative ideas and entertaining with boy adventure stories.

Your friends don't have a purpose???? All my friends have a purpose! One is a detective, I manipulate him to get information out of him, another is a banker who I manipulate to get me money etc.

[JustMel]

	Originally Posted by VF1J To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Your friends don't have a purpose???? All my friends have a purpose! One is a detective, I manipulate him to get information out of him, another is a banker who I manipulate to get me money etc.

those aren't friends. you don't use friends that way.

[flower]

Mine is usefull so I can get stupid emails and chain mail whoopdeedoo!

[VF1J]

	Originally Posted by JustMel To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	those aren't friends. you don't use friends that way.

But I see them every day, we share happy moments, we've know eachother for years...

[Done]

	Originally Posted by Mike Retriever To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I don't categorize friends, each relationship is slightly different, I can intuitively work out (after thoughtfully having studied the subject matter) what's best for both or what goes on in each relationship without using non-variable categories for it.

Me too, i tend to notice how close you get to me, but no categories.

[ModernLit]

	Originally Posted by VF1J To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	But I see them every day, we share happy moments, we've know eachother for years...

normal people don't "use" friends in this way. even if we're being completely honest about everything, i dont think i could ever think of my best friend in any way than being the greatest person i have had the privilege of knowing, and that being her only purpose.

[Autodidact]

Come on, guys, let's face it: you're not friends with someone for charity's sake, it's because you get something from them, it's because you consider yourself better off for knowing that person/being in their company as opposed to not knowing them. The point is they're the same; they wouldn't be friends with you unless they're getting something. Friendship is what is called a mutualistic symbiosis in biology. To those who talk about manipulating their friends: well, that's a selfish way of looking at your friends but heck, they probably manipulate you to do things too.

As for me: I have two or three very, very good friends, and I'll keep them as my friends for no other reason than that they have the same value system as me (that is to say, they honour the things I honour, cherish what I cherish, and basically think the way I do). And I've learned the hard way that it is difficult to find someone like that, and disastrous to trust someone who isn't like that.

[InfiniteLoop]

I can't believe that someone, even an INTJ, would just manipulate and use a friend for their own gain! I might not show it, but I actually do care very deeply about my friends. NOBODY messes around with anyone I consider even so much as an acquaintance. If they do, they have to deal with the scary INTJ death stare and possible death by razor sharp wit. I've been known to go to some pretty great lengths to get back at people who have seriously hurt my friends. For an INTJ, that's the one thing I'm pretty much an F about.

As for my friends in general, I have acquaintances that I speak to for intellectual stimulation, then I have friends that I usually just talk with for fun or sometimes hang out with, and one or two people I consider very close. I don't usually hang out with my friends much, but I am more likely to go talk to those I consider friends or close friends, and I'm more likely to hang out with my close friends. Usually, it's not with more than one close friend at a time, because I generally take them along to places like the mall, the movies, lunch, etc., and by the time I get done, I'm drained just from the atmosphere. I usually don't go somewhere unless I have a purpose, and a friend is just an additional person I can talk to while I get things done. I'd get the same pleasure from working on HTML code while talking to someone as I would from going to the mall with someone.

[Distance]

Originally Posted by Autodidact To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Come on, guys, let's face it: you're not friends with someone for charity's sake, it's because you get something from them, it's because you consider yourself better off for knowing that person/being in their company as opposed to not knowing them. The point is they're the same; they wouldn't be friends with you unless they're getting something. Friendship is what is called a mutualistic symbiosis in biology. To those who talk about manipulating their friends: well, that's a selfish way of looking at your friends but heck, they probably manipulate you to do things too. As for me: I have two or three very, very good friends, and I'll keep them as my friends for no other reason than that they have the same value system as me (that is to say, they honour the things I honour, cherish what I cherish, and basically think the way I do). And I've learned the hard way that it is difficult to find someone like that, and disastrous to trust someone who isn't like that.

I agree with much of what you're saying in that friendships are rarely one-way, where you give all. But I do have to challenge the manipulation part. I don't manipulate my close friends and they also don't manipulate me. Either side would shut down the other side, since you know each other so well and can smell it a mile away. To create bonds of trust, manipulation has to go.

[rbc]

	Originally Posted by Autodidact To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Come on, guys, let's face it: you're not friends with someone for charity's sake, it's because you get something from them, it's because you consider yourself better off for knowing that person/being in their company as opposed to not knowing them.

Exactly so! It's the same reason altruism does not actually exist -- it is an economic transaction in which one really does purchase happiness by giving away something of value in return only for pleasant feelings. This isn't in any way denying or disparaging the pleasant feelings -- I revel in them, especially in friendship, but I am also honest about them.

	Originally Posted by Distance To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I need to categorize my close friends to different levels

This, along with the OP's question about the purposes of each friend, is exactly why I love both being an INTJ and talking with them! This is a perfect example of being an NT -- we have to process our feelings through our rational minds before we can really know what they are.

And, to answer myself, I have four C1s, no C2s and ten C3s. The C1s are my wife, two of my ex-girlfriends, and a woman I would be dating if I weren't already married. The C3s are mostly friends from college, with three relatively new (2-5 years) ones from work.

[s4nder]

I have three best friends.

One is a fellow INTJ with whom I'm completely on the same wavelength, we can understand each other's thoughts on the fly.
Another is an ISFP with whom I share many interests and spend lots of time together. He's not much into debate and is very easily hurt but if I watch what I say, it works out great.
The third is an XNFP who is a mix of the previous two, some similar interests and good mutual understanding.

They've all taken multiple MBTI tests and confirmed their types, by the way, it's not just my best guess.

I find that I can only trust the INTJ with anything, the other two just will not get things done unless I constantly remind them, ever. I've been asking the XNFP for years "call me when you get home." He's never done it.

[JulietCapulet]

I have many lighter friends that tend to be of the intj, infj, entj sort. I have one best friend and she is infp.

[deedub]

Originally Posted by Distance To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I need to categorize my close friends to different levels: Category 1, defined as close friends who I can tell anything to and rely on no matter what, who feel the same way. Category 2, defined as close friends who I wouldn't tell everything to but can be relied on no matter what, who also feel the same way. Category 3, defined as close friends who I wouldn't tell everything to but can be relied on most of the time. We've never discussed whether the other party feels the same way but our actions with each other reflect similar outlooks. I've noticed they rely on me more than I rely on them.

Under this system:
C1: After thinking about it, I don't ever remember having a friend that would fit this category. I've always had trouble sharing feelings with anybody (sometimes even myself).
C2: At this time just one person would fit the bill.
C3: My family, immediate and extended would fit into this category.

[Thinktress]

My father is an ENTJ and I notice that his friends seem to be suspiciously utilitarian. For instance, one fixes boats (my father's primary hobby is fishing). The other repairs large tractor/lawnmowers and atv's which my father uses at the houses he owns and in hunting, and so on...

For me, I have two female friends. One of 27 years standing and one of five years standing. Both of them are my friends because they tolerate my presence and my quirky personality. And I love being around them. I find them interesting and fun and I think of them as good people in many ways. It's a pleasure for me to be around them. I also have a couple of male friends who I talk to frequently. And then there is my SO, who seems just to "get" me even though he's an ISTP and I'd expected he wouldn't, I guess, for that reason. He even stops to let me know what he's doing so that I won't feel anxious even though I gather ISTP's aren't big on this sort of thing, showing just how much he does get me. So I don't know. I guess I feel fortunate.

[Soraya]

I tend to categorize in two groups. I have the inner sanctum friends who I tell anything to, who really understand how I think and who I am and vice versa. Everyone else is kind of in a nebulous cloud of friends who I could leave or take. Honestly, now that I'm graduating though, I'm probably going to lose contact with the nebulous cloud friends, which is for the best both ways. I like to keep my friend group small so I can spend a lot of time with the people I trust the most rather than having to sacrifice that time for a lot of people that I care less about.

* denotes I am sure of their type because they have consistently tested it and fit the profile very well.
Inner sanctum friends: 2 female (1 INTJ*, 1 INFJ*), 1 male (INTP*)
Nebulous friend cloud: about 10 people, 7 females (1 INFJ*, 1 ISTJ, 1 ESFJ, 1 ENFJ*, 3 ISFJ*), 3 males (2 ISFJ,1 ISTJ).

I find it kind of hard to be friends with guys or for them to be friends with me. Both of the male ISFJs have fallen hard for me at one point or another. I suspect the ISTJ likes me but would never act on it. The INTP likes me but that one is reciprocated.

Hmmm...there's a lot of ISFJs in there actually, interesting. As for purpose...? Um, I guess we share things and mutually depend on each other and enjoy each others' company? Not sure what is meant by purpose here.

[Azmorgrim]

The only reason why I even have a few friends is because I benefit from having them. Nobody wants friends because they want friends. They want friends because they gain from having such a friendship.

This 'gain' or 'use' can take on many forms. It could be something simple such as companionship or a person to talk to, or something deeper such as their skills.

I don't need someone to talk to, my inner self does the conversation just fine! However there are many things I do not know, and this is where my friends step in to the picture. I have a friend who has an encyclopedic knowledge of computer hardware, and I oftenly ask him for help whenever my computer gets into problems.

While it may not sound 'nice', in a way, I'm actually 'using' him for my needs, and that's what I believe all friendships are all about! You don't befriend people you deem useless to you, do you?

In the same way, my friends benefit from my observational and problem solving skills. I like to help them work out problems and I like it even better when these solutions work. That's how my friendships are.

[Thinktress]

Originally Posted by Azmorgrim To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

The only reason why I even have a few friends is because I benefit from having them. Nobody wants friends because they want friends. They want friends because they gain from having such a friendship. This 'gain' or 'use' can take on many forms. It could be something simple such as companionship or a person to talk to, or something deeper such as their skills. I don't need someone to talk to, my inner self does the conversation just fine! However there are many things I do not know, and this is where my friends step in to the picture. I have a friend who has an encyclopedic knowledge of computer hardware, and I oftenly ask him for help whenever my computer gets into problems.

If you just HAVE to put that spin on it, then go for it if that's your truth. Don't make it universal though because it's not. I didn't seek out any of my friendships. They just happened to blossom with people I grew to care about deeply. I can't think of any utilitarian basis for any of them. Only one of my friends lives anywhere close to me. And she works so many hours per week that we rarely see each other. But they care about me and I care about them, and we KNOW everything about each other. I can tell them anything. Not many people I trust to that extent. Certainly not my family. So I view my friendships as more of a mutually enriching process. I have fewer close friendships, I'm sure, than non-INTJ's but I appreciate those friends a lot. They are part of my life.

"Friend: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard."
dictionary.com

---------- Post added 05-22-2010 at 11:53 AM ----------

Also, I don't tend to get info on things I don't know from my friends, unless it's info about things of a social nature. The other types of intellectual things I'm interested in aren't usually things in which my friends would be well versed so I would go to other sources - generally studies and experts in the field for that sort of information.

[Geise]

My life's been a solo mission since my early teens
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[Akzis]

I have all sorts of acquaintances, but only a few friends.

--Inner Circle--
ESTP, INTJ

--Gang members--
ISTP x2, ESFP

[Eye on Earth]

Originally Posted by Paradox101 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I have two friends, after reading another thread I began wondering why I was friends with these people. One friend is the only person I know who I consider smarter then me, he analyzes, criticizes and tries to guide me. Several times I tried to detach myself from him because I felt he knew me to well, he understands my personality and is okay with me randomly disappearing for weeks at a time and my other antisocial behaviors . When I'm not hiding I see him 1-2 times/week The other has a good understanding of how people work and is neurotic, obsessive compulsive, always has a mental crisis and my role is to analyse, criticize and guide him. I see this friend approx once/3 months with a few texts in between. Both of them are honest, loyal and dependable, I would say I'm 60%-70% open with them but in different ways. It seems that I have inadvertently found one person to improve me and one person for me to improve.

The human concept of friend is so limited and needs some improvement. I don't include just people. I am friend to the bug I didn't step on yesterday and to the dog playing in my yard the other day. People wise - well, if you only include planet Earth (I'm watching you), I'd say more than a few and less than a hundred. I don't categorize them. They just are.

I did give myself a chuckle when I attempted to categorize them. It worked out like this:

Work friends, sex friends, fun friends, boring friends, and pseudo friends. It's rather funny how they tend to cross the boundaries of category definition sometimes. That's life!