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INTJ v. INFJ Sex intj and infj, sex
Old 04-11-2010, 12:58 PM   #1
lexibass
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INTJ guys weird me out sexually. They seem to either not like being touched and have weird problems with needing sexual humiliation (i.e. maybe just the personal "fantasy" of an idealist INTJ who has not experienced physical romantic love with their best friend) or just generally are not interested in my generally straightforward come ons, and/or they touch me inappropriately only when their friends are around, then apologize as soon as they weird their friends out enough to make them leave us alone (which is when I start responding with all that pent up fervor). They're either weird teases or they have to be teased, or they try to fulfill a normal sexual role and then shame or make fun of the infj for getting too lost in it and ruining their erection in the process.

Have I just known some f-ed up INTJs?

Is there just no way for an INTJ to understand how I have this spiritual connection to physical acts and want to "merge" with him, mind body and soul?

I know by throwing this out INTJs are going to be laughing their asses off at my post and INFJs are going to be like "I totally understand what you mean!!!" There's almost no reason to post.
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Old 04-11-2010, 01:05 PM   #2
Storm
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How do you know all these men were INTJs?
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Old 04-11-2010, 01:06 PM   #3
cal
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  Originally Posted by lexibass
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Is there just no way for an INTJ to understand how I have this spiritual connection to physical acts and want to "merge" with him, mind body and soul?

there is. but you might have to wait till your intjs grow up/grow into it some.
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Old 04-11-2010, 01:08 PM   #4
Tahiti
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  Originally Posted by cal
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there is. but you might have to wait till your intjs grow up/grow into it some.
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This is it. It's more or less about maturity aka EQ, in a more accurate sense.

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Old 04-11-2010, 01:11 PM   #5
JTG
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  Originally Posted by lexibass
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Have I just known some f-ed up INTJs?

I think that's the answer. I don't enjoy any of those things, haha...

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Old 04-11-2010, 03:35 PM   #6
ikeaunes
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  Originally Posted by lexibass
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INTJ guys weird me out sexually. They seem to either not like being touched and have weird problems with needing sexual humiliation (i.e. maybe just the personal "fantasy" of an idealist INTJ who has not experienced physical romantic love with their best friend) or just generally are not interested in my generally straightforward come ons, and/or they touch me inappropriately only when their friends are around, then apologize as soon as they weird their friends out enough to make them leave us alone (which is when I start responding with all that pent up fervor). They're either weird teases or they have to be teased, or they try to fulfill a normal sexual role and then shame or make fun of the infj for getting too lost in it and ruining their erection in the process.

Have I just known some f-ed up INTJs?

Is there just no way for an INTJ to understand how I have this spiritual connection to physical acts and want to "merge" with him, mind body and soul?

I know by throwing this out INTJs are going to be laughing their asses off at my post and INFJs are going to be like "I totally understand what you mean!!!" There's almost no reason to post.
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No offense, but these traits can be ascribed to anyone that's not that interested in you. I've seen a lot of guys in college that will do grossly inappropriate things in front of friends. If anything, I'd think INTJs would be most likely to tell you upfront that they don't want to be bothered. I'm going to guess that some of these guys are just uninterested/assholes of any type..

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Old 04-11-2010, 05:04 PM   #7
hubcap
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The description you gave doesn't describe INTJs as a group. It sounds more like a description of an emotionally and sexually immature teenager or early 20's male.
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Old 04-11-2010, 06:17 PM   #8
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I've never had such issues with my INTJ; I suspect there's something particular to the ones you've had experience with.
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Old 04-11-2010, 06:44 PM   #9
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You're attracting weird people. If you want to figure out why you're attracting the guys you do, a good place to start is by looking in the mirror.
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Old 04-11-2010, 06:58 PM   #10
LifesEcstasy
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Can you rephrase the question because I have no idea what you are talking about....

Sexual humiliation? What's that?
Normal sexual role? I need an explanation.
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Old 04-11-2010, 07:38 PM   #11
dice
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Even within INTJs there are some who have a stronger preference for those dichotomies and those with weaker or stronger developed auxiliary and/or shadow functions.

I'd assume the INTJs you were into, if they were INTJs weren't very well-rounded individuals or just inexperienced. That said, age tends come into play here, and although age doesn't necessarily mean experience, there's still a correlation. How old are you and the people you're describing?

You make a lot of vivid depictions of your scenarios but it's really subjective at crucial parts, e.g. "my generally straight forward comeons," what's your perception of being generally straightforward?

Interesting stuff, but I almost never see the kind of behavior you're describing. Do you mind telling us where you would encounter stuff like this? I get the feeling that in different social settings and groups people would react differently. Also, regardless of any natural inclinations of settings and groups that the INTJ or INFJ may have, they may still find themselves in scenarios they wouldn't naturally be in and then behave differently because of that.
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Old 04-11-2010, 08:36 PM   #12
catzmeow
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  Originally Posted by lexibass
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Have I just known some f-ed up INTJs?

Short answer: None of these descriptions sound like INTJs I've known or had sex with. I would say that you appear to be attracting freaks, for whatever reasons.

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Old 04-11-2010, 09:10 PM   #13
diosa
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I'm an INFJ dating an INTJ and this isn't at all how things go with us. He takes sex pretty seriously but has never NOT wanted me to touch him. He's very receptive.
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We're both very much on the same page.
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Old 04-11-2010, 09:18 PM   #14
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What makes you so sure these guys aren't just very unhealthy ISTP's? I have an ISTP friend who's in a very unhealthy relationship and I see a lot of the kind of behaviour you described.
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Old 04-12-2010, 01:23 AM   #15
JTG
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That's what I call smallness as a human being. No matter how much I'm irritated by it, I can't do anything about it. It's not complex, just stunted. Because as a human being I'm small
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I don't think dysfunction (sexual or otherwise) is limited to a particular personality type. Sure, communication and interaction issues can arise from incompatible people, but issues like what you describe can be seen in a lot of generally unhealthy people.

I distinctly remember all of my previous sexual/romantic partners, and their fulfillment and satisfaction were as important to me as my own. In the case of hook-ups, there have been times when i've been a selfish lover or an unresponsive boyfriend/date/etc.
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Old 04-12-2010, 02:10 AM   #16
Blse
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I don't see any connection between MBTI type and what you describe. Granted, I don't know any INTJs IRL, but there's nothing in MBTI to explain that.
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Old 04-12-2010, 02:19 AM   #17
ms infp
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I haven't come across this behavior in an INTJ, either. In fact, the only who was a little "odd" was an INFJ!
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