[temi]

I have no problem being able to tell if a guy is attracted to me sexually.

What I have an oblivion to is whether a guy is attracted to me for other reasons and qualities...

[Mikista]

I should add, to the right person that knowledge can be instantaneous.

[Thrifty]

I am usually aware and immediately able to influence/increase my standing with them, but what I don't quite understand is why they are attracted to me in the first place.

[Cuddlefish]

I pretend I don't know whats going on. I really like to have a good time doing it.

[vad1981]

Originally Posted by LifesEcstasy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Another one for FO. Because any man who would make a sexual advance on me is the kind of guy who I think has no business participating in an active gene pool. Personally I live for the "how dare you perceive the true me" stare. It makes my heart glow with excitement because we are both greeting another from the same planet. I then follow that up with random visits and excruitiatingly mundane exchanges in which we practically tear each others clothes off in our minds. I'm an INTJ female but I'm also a hunter in a weird kind of way. My job is to get you to chase me even though it's against your character. A battle of the introvert wills.

sounds painful...

[LifesEcstasy]

@vad1981, It is painful...I readily admit that :P. But then I also readily admit that probably the idea of a relationship is much more appealing to me than the reality of one. Maybe this construct of mine is yet another layer of distance to ensure I am not thrown into the crisis of having to date someone.

And sometimes when you see someone really appealing and attractive then they open their mouth or do something that turns you off, you just wish you'd kept that person in your head as the perfect fantasy.

I've been single for quite some time and although occassionally I wonder what it would be like to have a relationship again. I am never so motivated by the notion to do anything about it. The idea of being solo for the rest of my life seems like a viable option. Afterall the bf who exists in my mind is the perfect mate, he never pisses me off or demands anything of me.

[tooboku]

Oh. I thought you were implying a "whose gonna give first" kind of game.

[rahdam]

	Originally Posted by tooboku To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Oh. I thought you were implying a "whose gonna give first" kind of game.

One of us, won't last the night
between you and me it's no surprise
there's two of us, both can't be right
Neither will move till it's over

[rad]

It's instantly obvious to me when someone is interested. When I detect their intentions, I evaluate their potential as a suitable mate and my availability.


If they pass my scrutiny (I have a keen eye and make deductions very rapidly) and I have spare time to go through the romantic motions, then I may acknowledge their advances. This person may warrant further investigation to confirm desirability/compatibility.

If I'm not interested, they're invisible.

If I'm interested but I currently don't have spare time to devote to somebody else: make polite noise but resist advances.

My time is valuable, so I'm picky about who I want to spend it with--sorry (my formal apologies to the female sex for any offense given).

[vad1981]

Originally Posted by LifesEcstasy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

@vad1981, It is painful...I readily admit that :P. But then I also readily admit that probably the idea of a relationship is much more appealing to me than the reality of one. Maybe this construct of mine is yet another layer of distance to ensure I am not thrown into the crisis of having to date someone. And sometimes when you see someone really appealing and attractive then they open their mouth or do something that turns you off, you just wish you'd kept that person in your head as the perfect fantasy. I've been single for quite some time and although occassionally I wonder what it would be like to have a relationship again. I am never so motivated by the notion to do anything about it. The idea of being solo for the rest of my life seems like a viable option. Afterall the bf who exists in my mind is the perfect mate, he never pisses me off or demands anything of me.

One some level "I feel you" but reality is reality. People are not perfect. Blah Blah Blah.

I guess what they say is relationships are "give and take" hopefully in relatively equal amounts, but being soft INTJ's we're more likely to give much more than we take.

On the other hand some personalities might feel like INTJ's are "taking" by being quiet, taciturn and sullen (generally speaking). In my experience that is the thing that hurts the most...

[LifesEcstasy]

	Originally Posted by vad1981 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	sounds painful...

Originally Posted by vad1981 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

One some level "I feel you" but reality is reality. People are not perfect. Blah Blah Blah. I guess what they say is relationships are "give and take" hopefully in relatively equal amounts, but being soft INTJ's we're more likely to give much more than we take. On the other hand some personalities might feel like INTJ's are "taking" by being quiet, taciturn and sullen (generally speaking). In my experience that is the thing that hurts the most...

Exactly. It's annoying to me when F's accuse N's of being devoid of emotion. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was totally controlled by my emotions in my last relationship and it felt like torture. I hate being that out of control. Just because we don't spew forth with emotion doesn't mean it isn't there. I was once a wonderful girlfriend, very tender (although private) and would move stars for those I cared about. One shock too many however has taught me to be cautious to the point of painfulness.

[Ilara]

I picked the FO option for the simple reason that I didn't agree with the other two (and because, as stated above, it's fun XD).

I'm hypersensitive to men's sexual interest in me, because I find that if I don't pay attention, I get into confrontational situations that I can deal with but would prefer not to (I don't really want to have to rip a guy to shreds for putting his paws on me, but I will if I have to...). But I would say that my sensitivity to it is highly situational.

If I'm in class, somebody could be flirting with me and it wouldn't even occur to me that they were unless they started touching (and then I would be forced to rip them to shreds...). In public or at parties, I'm supers-sensitive to that stuff, 'cause there are a lot of men who don't seem to understand that liking the way I look doesn't entitle them to anything from me.

So, I'm genuinely oblivious when I'm focussed. During a discussion group, class, reading, debate? I wouldn't notice it if the guy stamped "I'm sexually attracted to you" across his forehead. But during a party, or while walking in the street? Fuck-off vibe armed and ready, and eyes always scanning for trouble.

... Once I'm in a relationship, I pretty much assume that there's sexual attraction there, lol, so it stops even being something to perceive or not perceive. Like, I know that my boyfriend is attracted to me. So I know exactly what he means when he makes 'advances' XD.

[hubcap]

Picking up subtle signals is an acquired skill for INTJs. When I was younger I'm sure I was oblivious. When it happens now it seems like lights are flashing and bells are ringing. There isn't any substitute for experience.

[JohnDoe]

Originally Posted by LifesEcstasy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Exactly. It's annoying to me when F's accuse N's of being devoid of emotion. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was totally controlled by my emotions in my last relationship and it felt like torture. I hate being that out of control. Just because we don't spew forth with emotion doesn't mean it isn't there. I was once a wonderful girlfriend, very tender (although private) and would move stars for those I cared about. One shock too many however has taught me to be cautious to the point of painfulness.

Ahem you mean T's of being devoid of emotion?

The problem with this thread is that it makes a very implicit but major assumption that everyone who is flirting with you is doing so for romantic purposes.

[rezx]

I guess I never quite developed enough but I hardly ever pick up on them. I was invited back to a girl's place last week and turned her down so I could go run errands. Two hours later I was hitting myself.

[Thinktress]

	Originally Posted by JohnDoe To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Ahem you mean T's of being devoid of emotion? The problem with this thread is that it makes a very implicit but major assumption that everyone who is flirting with you is doing so for romantic purposes.

Yeah, with some of the responses I'm getting confused about whether or not people are talking about sexual or romantic signals. Sexual signals are pretty easy for me to decipher. It's more difficult to tell if someone's intentions are purely sexual or also romantic. I just assume that they are always purely sexual unless and until told/shown otherwise in some convincing fashion.

[Nikita]

I voted "Fuck off!" because I am not an INTJ, and just because I wanted to.
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I never assume attraction/interest. I notice indicators of each, but that's it.

[Votre Ami]

It's yummy when it's clear he's attracted to you but acting oblivious , seeing how far you are willing to go.

Then when you suddenly get a response, it's like , woah.

[Blues69]

I don't go looking for it so I hardly ever (if ever) find it.

[themuzicman]

I think some of it has to do with whether we're in a circumstance where we're expecting or looking for such an advance. If we're not consciously in that mode, we'll miss it.

[Vermillion]

Why have most people answered "oblivious" on the poll? I thought INTJs were supposed to be good at analyzing situations and people and figuring stuff out? I for one have no problem knowing which females want my cock. Or maybe I'm just a narcissist and am over valuing my sexual attractiveness...

[Shirley]

I'm honestly not sure how accurate my ability to pick up on attraction towards me is. I tend not to bother bringing it up unless they bring it up first. I have, however, not been incredibly surprised most of the time when asked out. Admittedly, I received an anonymous love letter a couple V-days ago and never found out who sent it, despite asking all the usual suspects. Hell, I'm not even sure who exactly would've picked up on the fact I enjoy chocolate, which was notable in the letter itself. (it's a common like though, so it could've been just a good guess.) Whoever it was never pursued it further...