Why should I smile? I didn't hear a joke!

**Jenny Penny** · 03-19-2008, 10:39 AM

Hey, all. Just a little something I noticed. Actually, this has pretty much bothered the heck out of me my entire life. I'll be deep in thought, minding my own business, and some moron will approach me with, "Smile! Life's not so bad", or, "What's wrong?" They usually do not seem particularly friendly themselves. That is the irony of it.

This usually happens at social events where there is alcohol involved. However, there is a cook at my work cafeteria that always irritates me with this same opener every time I walk up to his line. Today I responded sarcastically with, "I'm fine. Why, are you not fine?" or something like that... He said, "I'm always fine!" He doesn't even smile himself! What an annoying guy...

My sister says people are saying this as an icebreaker, but there is nothing else that infuriates me as much. I imagine this happens much more often to female INTs than male INTs.

I need a good comeback, I think, and then I'll be fine...

**TheLastMohican** · 03-19-2008, 10:57 AM

Ugh, my father does that a lot. He will say, "Smile! Look happy!" There is no reason to smile all the time. I especially hate it when someone asks me, "Why are you so grumpy?" when I am acting normally. It's like they expect either a grin or the depths of despair. I am not grumpy, but if you keep asking me that, you will make me grumpy!

**raconteur213** · 03-19-2008, 11:20 AM

For starters, mens predatory nature suggest your silence as insecurity. They try to pounce with a lame line and fake smile to lure you into a supposed state of "golly gee willikers"...he's talking to me???

GOOD REPLY: "Actually life is that bad: global warming, recession, ballooning debt...but I guess you're oblivious to these realities" (Remember, you don't want to encourage him with a reply that is too witty)

**gogurtdynasty** · 03-19-2008, 11:26 AM

i get that a lot too... When i'm in my "Thinking" mode around people i always have my muscles in my face at rest and apparently that's not translated well.

I always fake a smile after being subjected to the happy police... but in my mind i'm usually visualizing their ultimate doom

**ElstonGunn** · 03-19-2008, 11:27 AM

	Originally Posted by Jenny Penny To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I need a good comeback, I think, and then I'll be fine...

Tell them that your dog, mom, or hope died earlier in the day.

**TheLastMohican** · 03-19-2008, 11:29 AM

	Originally Posted by ElstonGunn To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Tell them that your dog, mom, or hope died earlier in the day.

Better: tell them that their dog, mom, hope died earlier in the day. That shows just how much you care about their feelings.

**gogurtdynasty** · 03-19-2008, 11:30 AM

haha! i like that

Person: Ashley, What's wrong?

Me: :'( your dog got hit by a car... I'm just devistated

**Jenny Penny** · 03-19-2008, 11:34 AM

Thanks for the (hilarious) good suggestions. I have thought of saying the sad dog story a couple of times. That would serve them right! MORONS!!

I rarely go around smiling for no reason unless I'm seriously sleep-deprived or high on something...

**gogurtdynasty** · 03-19-2008, 11:38 AM

I smile a lot when im walking around town... but thats usually because I find humor in flaws and am typically surrounded by dipshits

but you make a good point... when's the last time i went skipping around town when i wasn't high on something? hmmm

**rwyatt365** · 03-19-2008, 11:39 AM

*gulp*

I'm kinda guilty of saying that to women - but not as a pickup. What I say is, "I love beautiful things when I see them, and I think that you are one. Your face is attractive, and it would even be more so if you smiled." I only say that because it is what I'm thinking, and I wish to share it - I'm not asking for anything, just making a comment.

Crucify me now...
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**gogurtdynasty** · 03-19-2008, 11:41 AM

Well I do it to people too... but that doesn't mean they can do it back :-P

**TheLastMohican** · 03-19-2008, 11:51 AM

Originally Posted by rwyatt365
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*gulp*

I'm kinda guilty of saying that to women - but not as a pickup. What I say is, "I love beautiful things when I see them, and I think that you are one. Your face is attractive, and it would even be more so if you smiled." I only say that because it is what I'm thinking, and I wish to share it - I'm not asking for anything, just making a comment.

Crucify me now...
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My pleasure.
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Okay, I'll let you off this once.

**Lagawrd** · 03-19-2008, 12:03 PM

I usually do not smile, but I will when I have to. The actual question is why not smile? Smile even to make people stop suggesting it. I hate being bothered by people when doing something. I therefore smile to get them off my back. A smile is a small price to pay when compared with actually answering to people about something as trivial. However, I dont think smiling is that big of a deal anyways. It requires very easy muscles to manipulate and has a strong effect.

**deepFlow** · 03-19-2008, 12:09 PM

	Originally Posted by raconteur213 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	GOOD REPLY: "Actually life is that bad: global warming, recession, ballooning debt...but I guess you're oblivious to these realities" (Remember, you don't want to encourage him with a reply that is too witty)

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**Jenny Penny** · 03-19-2008, 12:12 PM

DOn't get me wrong; I love smiling. Asking someone you don't know to smile seems too intrusive for me. It also seems the people who make such requests are not high on the intelligence scale. Why not ask them where they're from or somethign halfway imaginative to get them talking? Maybe I'm overly sensitive (or grumpy) but being asked to smile is not much different from someone straight out asking what is wrong with you and how you managed to escape the planet Mars.

**rwyatt365** · 03-19-2008, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by Jenny Penny
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DOn't get me wrong; I love smiling. Asking someone you don't know to smile seems too intrusive for me. It also seems the people who make such requests are not high on the intelligence scale. Why not ask them where they're from or somethign halfway imaginative to get them talking? Maybe I'm overly sensitive (or grumpy) but being asked to smile is not much different from someone straight out asking what is wrong with you and how you managed to escape the planet Mars.

No, no, no Jenny - Venus!

**Fergie** · 03-19-2008, 12:14 PM

I usually just say "I *am* smiling," in a dry tone and look them straight in the eyes until they blink or look away. 9 times out of 10 they don't push the issue again.

Occasionally someone has a witty comeback which is fun. :D

**Jenny Penny** · 03-19-2008, 12:18 PM

	Originally Posted by Fergie To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I usually just say "I am smiling," in a dry tone and look them straight in the eyes until they blink or look away. 9 times out of 10 they don't push the issue again. Occasionally someone has a witty comeback which is fun. :D

That's great... I'll have to try it! Reminds me of Wednesday Adams...

**eMachine** · 03-19-2008, 12:19 PM

I don't even have to leave my house for this anymore, it seems...

Just today I received a message on myspace from a complete stranger, this is what he felt the need to tell me:::

"Hey there, I was just checking out some pages and noticed your pics. You don't ever smile. You have cute eyes, accentuate them by smiling more."

Especially when taking a picture of myself I'm not going to smile, because it would be a very fake smile. Why would I smile at an inanimate object?

**pinkroger** · 03-19-2008, 01:24 PM

I think this is an INTJ thing. We don't need to go around covering ourselves up with false smiles just to impress others. Honestly, I just ignore them while coming up with a new method of torture to try out on them. Then I tell them in excruciating detail exactly what I wish I could do to them, and sometimes, they cry. Those people are the most fun.

**Jgib5328** · 03-19-2008, 01:36 PM

Originally Posted by Jenny Penny
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Hey, all. Just a little something I noticed. Actually, this has pretty much bothered the heck out of me my entire life. I'll be deep in thought, minding my own business, and some moron will approach me with, "Smile! Life's not so bad", or, "What's wrong?" They usually do not seem particularly friendly themselves. That is the irony of it.

This usually happens at social events where there is alcohol involved. However, there is a cook at my work cafeteria that always irritates me with this same opener every time I walk up to his line. Today I responded sarcastically with, "I'm fine. Why, are you not fine?" or something like that... He said, "I'm always fine!" He doesn't even smile himself! What an annoying guy...

My sister says people are saying this as an icebreaker, but there is nothing else that infuriates me as much. I imagine this happens much more often to female INTs than male INTs.

I need a good comeback, I think, and then I'll be fine...

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. People have asked me to smile more, it's so annoying. I don't want to smile and just because I'm not smiling doesn't mean that I'm unhappy.

Jgib5328 added to this post, 2 minutes and 7 seconds later...

Originally Posted by eMachine
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I don't even have to leave my house for this anymore, it seems...

Just today I received a message on myspace from a complete stranger, this is what he felt the need to tell me:::

"Hey there, I was just checking out some pages and noticed your pics. You don't ever smile. You have cute eyes, accentuate them by smiling more."

Especially when taking a picture of myself I'm not going to smile, because it would be a very fake smile. Why would I smile at an inanimate object?

I don't see the point of smiling in pictures if you weren't smiling before. If you are smiling before and are in a very happy environment, then naturally when a picture is taken of you, you will be smiling, but if you weren't smiling before the picture was taken, you shouldn't smile during it since that'd be fake. I'm not really saying this that well, but do you guys get what I'm saying?

Jgib5328 added to this post, 0 minutes and 53 seconds later...

Originally Posted by Lagawrd
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I usually do not smile, but I will when I have to. The actual question is why not smile? Smile even to make people stop suggesting it. I hate being bothered by people when doing something. I therefore smile to get them off my back. A smile is a small price to pay when compared with actually answering to people about something as trivial. However, I dont think smiling is that big of a deal anyways. It requires very easy muscles to manipulate and has a strong effect.

Smiling when you have to is good, but don't give in to the world. I wouldn't change myself just for that reason, I'd keep fighting it.

**TheLastMohican** · 03-19-2008, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by eMachine
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I don't even have to leave my house for this anymore, it seems...

Just today I received a message on myspace from a complete stranger, this is what he felt the need to tell me:::

"Hey there, I was just checking out some pages and noticed your pics. You don't ever smile. You have cute eyes, accentuate them by smiling more."

Especially when taking a picture of myself I'm not going to smile, because it would be a very fake smile. Why would I smile at an inanimate object?

Tell that guy, "I'm glad you like my eyes, but if I smiled, you would see my rotting teeth."

(I am not implying that you have bad teeth.)

**pallasathena** · 03-19-2008, 03:35 PM

Originally Posted by Jenny Penny
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Hey, all. Just a little something I noticed. Actually, this has pretty much bothered the heck out of me my entire life. I'll be deep in thought, minding my own business, and some moron will approach me with, "Smile! Life's not so bad", or, "What's wrong?" They usually do not seem particularly friendly themselves. That is the irony of it.

This usually happens at social events where there is alcohol involved. However, there is a cook at my work cafeteria that always irritates me with this same opener every time I walk up to his line. Today I responded sarcastically with, "I'm fine. Why, are you not fine?" or something like that... He said, "I'm always fine!" He doesn't even smile himself! What an annoying guy...

My sister says people are saying this as an icebreaker, but there is nothing else that infuriates me as much. I imagine this happens much more often to female INTs than male INTs.

I need a good comeback, I think, and then I'll be fine...

Hi,

I've been getting that "just smile" crap all my life. I am told that I look mean, but I think my face is in a "neutral position". In America, women are supposed to walk around with a big smile on their face like the Joker in Batman. To me, smiling is only going to invite undesirable people to attempt to engage you in conversations that you don't want to engage in. The last time some man asked me to smile, I asked him, "At what?". He said, "At me.". I told him that I have a "secret smile" that only I can see and that I was smiling at this very second, only he couldn't see it. That shut him up. Feel free to use that line if it suits you.

**lordrrr** · 03-19-2008, 04:38 PM

Oh man I know how annoying this is. My parents do it a lot when I'm in my room reading with a straight face and am very into a book or something and they go "Why are you so unhappy?" or something like that. Random people do it to me occasionally as well. Mainly it annoys me whenever someone wants to talk to me and I'm obviously in deep thought and they don't go away, or when I'm ignoring them I'M the jerk as they walk away. It happened today for instance. It's very annoying.

**nickasummers** · 03-19-2008, 04:45 PM

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03-19-2008, 10:39 AM	#1
Jenny Penny Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 147	Hey, all. Just a little something I noticed. Actually, this has pretty much bothered the heck out of me my entire life. I'll be deep in thought, minding my own business, and some moron will approach me with, "Smile! Life's not so bad", or, "What's wrong?" They usually do not seem particularly friendly themselves. That is the irony of it. This usually happens at social events where there is alcohol involved. However, there is a cook at my work cafeteria that always irritates me with this same opener every time I walk up to his line. Today I responded sarcastically with, "I'm fine. Why, are you not fine?" or something like that... He said, "I'm always fine!" He doesn't even smile himself! What an annoying guy... My sister says people are saying this as an icebreaker, but there is nothing else that infuriates me as much. I imagine this happens much more often to female INTs than male INTs. I need a good comeback, I think, and then I'll be fine...
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03-19-2008, 10:57 AM	#2
TheLastMohican Core Member [187%] MBTI: ENTJ Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 7,498	Ugh, my father does that a lot. He will say, "Smile! Look happy!" There is no reason to smile all the time. I especially hate it when someone asks me, "Why are you so grumpy?" when I am acting normally. It's like they expect either a grin or the depths of despair. I am not grumpy, but if you keep asking me that, you will make me grumpy!
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03-19-2008, 11:20 AM	#3
raconteur213 Banned MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 327	For starters, mens predatory nature suggest your silence as insecurity. They try to pounce with a lame line and fake smile to lure you into a supposed state of "golly gee willikers"...he's talking to me??? GOOD REPLY: "Actually life is that bad: global warming, recession, ballooning debt...but I guess you're oblivious to these realities" (Remember, you don't want to encourage him with a reply that is too witty)
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03-19-2008, 11:26 AM	#4
gogurtdynasty Banned MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 254	i get that a lot too... When i'm in my "Thinking" mode around people i always have my muscles in my face at rest and apparently that's not translated well. I always fake a smile after being subjected to the happy police... but in my mind i'm usually visualizing their ultimate doom
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03-19-2008, 11:30 AM	#7
gogurtdynasty Banned MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 254	haha! i like that Person: Ashley, What's wrong? Me: :'( your dog got hit by a car... I'm just devistated
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03-19-2008, 11:34 AM	#8
Jenny Penny Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 147	Thanks for the (hilarious) good suggestions. I have thought of saying the sad dog story a couple of times. That would serve them right! MORONS!! I rarely go around smiling for no reason unless I'm seriously sleep-deprived or high on something...
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03-19-2008, 11:38 AM	#9
gogurtdynasty Banned MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 254	I smile a lot when im walking around town... but thats usually because I find humor in flaws and am typically surrounded by dipshits but you make a good point... when's the last time i went skipping around town when i wasn't high on something? hmmm
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03-19-2008, 11:39 AM	#10
rwyatt365 Core Member [261%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 10,462	gulp I'm kinda guilty of saying that to women - but not as a pickup. What I say is, "I love beautiful things when I see them, and I think that you are one. Your face is attractive, and it would even be more so if you smiled." I only say that because it is what I'm thinking, and I wish to share it - I'm not asking for anything, just making a comment. Crucify me now... To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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03-19-2008, 11:41 AM	#11
gogurtdynasty Banned MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 254	Well I do it to people too... but that doesn't mean they can do it back :-P
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03-19-2008, 12:03 PM	#13
Lagawrd Member [08%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 345	I usually do not smile, but I will when I have to. The actual question is why not smile? Smile even to make people stop suggesting it. I hate being bothered by people when doing something. I therefore smile to get them off my back. A smile is a small price to pay when compared with actually answering to people about something as trivial. However, I dont think smiling is that big of a deal anyways. It requires very easy muscles to manipulate and has a strong effect.
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03-19-2008, 12:12 PM	#15
Jenny Penny Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 147	DOn't get me wrong; I love smiling. Asking someone you don't know to smile seems too intrusive for me. It also seems the people who make such requests are not high on the intelligence scale. Why not ask them where they're from or somethign halfway imaginative to get them talking? Maybe I'm overly sensitive (or grumpy) but being asked to smile is not much different from someone straight out asking what is wrong with you and how you managed to escape the planet Mars.
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03-19-2008, 12:14 PM	#17
Fergie New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 19	I usually just say "I am smiling," in a dry tone and look them straight in the eyes until they blink or look away. 9 times out of 10 they don't push the issue again. Occasionally someone has a witty comeback which is fun. :D
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03-19-2008, 12:19 PM	#19
eMachine Member [03%] MBTI: INxx Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 158	I don't even have to leave my house for this anymore, it seems... Just today I received a message on myspace from a complete stranger, this is what he felt the need to tell me::: "Hey there, I was just checking out some pages and noticed your pics. You don't ever smile. You have cute eyes, accentuate them by smiling more." Especially when taking a picture of myself I'm not going to smile, because it would be a very fake smile. Why would I smile at an inanimate object?
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03-19-2008, 01:24 PM	#20
pinkroger Banned MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 242	I think this is an INTJ thing. We don't need to go around covering ourselves up with false smiles just to impress others. Honestly, I just ignore them while coming up with a new method of torture to try out on them. Then I tell them in excruciating detail exactly what I wish I could do to them, and sometimes, they cry. Those people are the most fun.
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03-19-2008, 04:38 PM	#24
lordrrr Banned MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 723	Oh man I know how annoying this is. My parents do it a lot when I'm in my room reading with a straight face and am very into a book or something and they go "Why are you so unhappy?" or something like that. Random people do it to me occasionally as well. Mainly it annoys me whenever someone wants to talk to me and I'm obviously in deep thought and they don't go away, or when I'm ignoring them I'M the jerk as they walk away. It happened today for instance. It's very annoying.
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03-19-2008, 04:45 PM	#25
nickasummers Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 106	To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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