[RedMustang]

Does anyone else have an INTJ father, or even mother, and what is your relationship with them like?

I have a really hard time when my INTJ dad gets really INTJ on me. He's way more TJ than me and I am way more IN than him. So when he puts me on the spot and demands something I freeze up. Or when he doesn't listen to my ideas because he highly values his own. Our senses of humor are identical and we can discuss trivial things just fine, but trying to tackle something of great importance between us is horrible. Anyone have similar experiences?

[Aurelia]

Originally Posted by RedMustang To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Does anyone else have an INTJ father, or even mother, and what is your relationship with them like? I have a really hard time when my INTJ dad gets really INTJ on me. He's way more TJ than me and I am way more IN than him. So when he puts me on the spot and demands something I freeze up. Or when he doesn't listen to my ideas because he highly values his own. Our senses of humor are identical and we can discuss trivial things just fine, but trying to tackle something of great importance between us is horrible. Anyone have similar experiences?

My father is an INTJ. We get along fairly well because we don't push each others buttons. My mother does enough of that (she's an ESFJ). When we talk to each other on the phone, the conversation is very short (on average we talk for maybe 2 mins). It makes me laugh because when he misses me, he'll call and ask how I am doing. Then he'll quickly get off the phone. He absolutely hates talking on the phone so it's very sweet that he even calls.

[AnnoyingPony]

My dad is an INTJ or an ENTJ, but he's way more N than T, which pisses me off sometimes. He's also a huge conspiracy theorist and never skips an opportunity to shove his words down my throat, and I expect him to have better critical thinking skills.

[ya lyublyu tebya]

My dad is an INTJ, but he's raving undertreated bipolar, so that really gets in the way of things! *bitter laugh* I think that if he were mentally healthy or even just remotely stable, we'd get along great. We do at times, and my mom says that he was very, very different in the past. She obviously likes INTJs, since she married him and gets along so well with me, so it's a real shame. We probably could have been very close.

[Mader]

I am a Mom, INTJ.

Yes, I can see how folks like me have difficulty with children who are not INTJ's.

I can be rather black and white in my decisions.
I don't hear those little hints in the child's voice that means he/she is asking for something.
As the children grow up, I make less physical contact,, maybe less than the kids want. Babies are easy to hug and kiss, teenagers, not so much.
I don't feel the compassion that I should for the pre-teen and teenage angst.
I can't always read the body language that, if I was a different type, would tell me what my child is thinking or wanting.
I don't lie so I don't get why anyone lies. Now, I intellectually understand why kids and teenagers lie, but it is total BS and I am intolerant of it. Remember, I said I was pretty black and white.

Children who are also INTJ's. it is as if we have a secret code of communication. I can look at that child and read everything I need to know.

[Brittle]

My parents divorced when I was quite young, so my dad (INTJ) wasn't a huge part of my life, but one thing I always knew was he was hard, but fair. He also said what he meant and meant what he said, which is a trait I've always found very admirable.

It wasn't until I was in my mid 20's that I really started having a lot to do with dad, and realised we are very much the same; our sense of humour, our ethics, our sense of reasoning, our love of learning, our independence. We still don't talk much (by most people's standards) and I have a lot more tact than dad (who is as blunt as a rock), but we "get" how each other think and as such we get along greatly. We may not always hold the same opinion, but we can respect each other's right to hold it - so long as our rationale is sound.

Sadly, however, he is turning into one of those cranky old curmudgeons who delights in writing strongly worded letters to councils, telecommunication centres, local media, and pretty much anyone else that pisses him off.

More tragic.... we are so much the same!!!!! (argh!!)

[flower]

Originally Posted by Mader To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I am a Mom, INTJ. Yes, I can see how folks like me have difficulty with children who are not INTJ's. I can be rather black and white in my decisions. I don't hear those little hints in the child's voice that means he/she is asking for something. As the children grow up, I make less physical contact,, maybe less than the kids want. Babies are easy to hug and kiss, teenagers, not so much. I don't feel the compassion that I should for the pre-teen and teenage angst. I can't always read the body language that, if I was a different type, would tell me what my child is thinking or wanting. I don't lie so I don't get why anyone lies. Now, I intellectually understand why kids and teenagers lie, but it is total BS and I am intolerant of it. Remember, I said I was pretty black and white. Children who are also INTJ's. it is as if we have a secret code of communication. I can look at that child and read everything I need to know.

Same here.
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[hoffen]

	Originally Posted by Brittle To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Sadly, however, he is turning into one of those cranky old curmudgeons who delights in writing strongly worded letters to councils, telecommunication centres, local media, and pretty much anyone else that pisses him off.

Hah, my dad is the biggest ENTJ in the world, and he's totally doing this too!

I dunno, I get along swimmingly with my dad, and I chalk a lot of it up to the fact that we are typed so closely. We get each other, and-- this was huge when I was an angry teenager-- after we fight, we give each other the kind of apologies that actually mean something to the other. (You know, when you're calm enough to actually talk, and explain your reaction and say that okay, I overreacted here, and I apologize, but here's why I did so.) It makes him pretty easy to live with.

[cutekoala]

My Dad is a very strong ENTJ- its really funny because I think in many ways we're very similar i.e. our ways of thinking, the fact that we both use logic to solve things, we're both good at planning and have a very strong work ethic- mainly because of the last three preferences, but his extraversion makes it very difficult to udnerstand some of the social problems I have bevause he's very natural with others- although at the same time he's good at remaining very emotionally detached....I think sometimes he wants to be more compassionate, but is unsure of how to be so, and can end up beign really callous....I donlt think he means to be, I just don't think he always understands me very well.

My mother also tests as an ENTJ with extremely low preeences, however...I'm trying to get ehr to do the test again, because she seems from my perspective to be far too illogical and emotionally driven to be an ENTJ.

[shytiger]

Originally Posted by Mader To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I am a Mom, INTJ. Yes, I can see how folks like me have difficulty with children who are not INTJ's. I can be rather black and white in my decisions. I don't hear those little hints in the child's voice that means he/she is asking for something. As the children grow up, I make less physical contact,, maybe less than the kids want. Babies are easy to hug and kiss, teenagers, not so much. I don't feel the compassion that I should for the pre-teen and teenage angst. I can't always read the body language that, if I was a different type, would tell me what my child is thinking or wanting. I don't lie so I don't get why anyone lies. Now, I intellectually understand why kids and teenagers lie, but it is total BS and I am intolerant of it. Remember, I said I was pretty black and white. Children who are also INTJ's. it is as if we have a secret code of communication. I can look at that child and read everything I need to know.

Your kids hint? I have an ENTP and an ISTP. There's no hinting in our house, no need to read body language. Rather the opposite, trying to get them to stop pestering me about something when I've already said no. My eldest is rather good at arguing logically and often manages to convince me to change my mind. As an ENTP, he's also very persistent.

I'm curious how their opinions of me will change as they grow up.

[rwm4768]

I'm relatively certain that my mom is an INTJ because most of the descriptions seem to apply to what I have observed of her. She is also the only person I've ever known who actually seems to understand me. I can have more in-depth intellectual conversations with her than with anybody else.

However, just because we're both INTJs doesn't mean we always get along. Being an INTJ, my mom sets very high standards for herself and for others, but a lot of the time, I am not good enough at certain activities, especially helping around the house. This can result in tension. We also can have problems if we get into an argument even if it's about something trivial. We're both convinced that we're right and don't want to give in, generally resulting in me getting in trouble.