[Vai]

A lot of things has been happening lately on my life, and I think I'm on the verge of losing my sanity. If this goes on, I fear I might fall into a total catatonic state and continue to utter the words "ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD" a million times.

Don't feel like giving out the details, but my current source of depression is from my perception of underachievement, delays on my pursuits, feelings of being an outsider due to my religious beliefs (or lack thereof), and difficulties on having a stable relationship.

From what I've heard, this is what people call "real life" so I should be able to deal with it, but now it's so difficult for me to ignore the constant mental harassment I get from my mind whenever I lie down to rest or sleep. Sometimes I just want my brain to shut up so I can get a peaceful rest and refresh myself for my studies.


How do you deal with such mental issues? What do you do to cheer yourself up? What gives you the inspiration to continue on?

[Kmal]

Personally, the fact that you only live once is enough for me to spring into action. Success or failure, it doesn't matter, I gotta do something. Also, fuck everybody else, please don't feel like an outsider because of religious beliefs.

Exercise and diet will play a huge role in how you feel. You can't only have one endeavor in life (school) or you will feel swamped. Get a hobby, distract your mind. Control your mind, don't let it control you.

[TrilbyFedora]

Beyond hedonist pursuits, not a whole lot. A kind of anticipation/enthousiasm over certain projects or activities is rare if I'm depressed, but I find when I take the initiative to leave the apartment and explore I feel alot better. It helps me clear my mind and put things in proper perspective.

	Exercise and diet will play a huge role in how you feel. You can't only have one endeavor in life (school) or you will feel swamped. Get a hobby, distract your mind. Control your mind, don't let it control you.

Active body and active mind, certainly.

"I'm a mighty mighty man, I'm young, and I'm in my priiiiime".

[dontmesswithme]

When I was splitting up with my husband a while back, I also had many other problems on top of that problem. My life was terrible. I actually stopped believing in God for a time because I felt that if there was a God he would help me out a least a little bit, and everything kept going from bad to worse. (I'm not an incredibly religious person, but I do believe in God. I have since had many chats with God regarding that time where I stopped believing in him, and things are cool now.) I remember thinking to myself one month, "things can only get better" and then two months later they were a thousand times worse and I just couldn't believe it. And then they got even worse after that! I don't know how I survived that year. It was the worst year of my life.
I remember talking to a social worker when my husband and I first split up and she said something so simple: "You do know that everything is going to be alright, don't you?" She was right. Everything is usually, eventually, alright. You just have to ride out the storm. Man, is it hard though.
To cheer myself up? Little things, doing nice things for myself and others. Random acts of kindness. I'm a huge fan of that. Keeping busy, especially with things I enjoy. Also just mundane things, like finally getting certain things done around the house like painting and organising. I am not organised (large understatement).
I find that when I dwell on the sh--tiness of some people it's counterproductive not only to me feeling better about life, but to the state of the world in general. The world needs less of that. I realise I'm sounding very INFP here!(*chuckles*) Little things add up until you've got a decent collection of them that can be the start of something new and better. You just have to keep plugging away. I hope this helps you.

[Theaetetus]

I bounce back naturally. It doesn't take that long. Microwaved burritos and kittens help. Exercise helps too.

You might want to consider the idea that you achievements aren't everything. In fact, they're nothing. A cosmic irregularity. Not a blip on the most sensitive of alien scanners.

Alternately, find an INFP.

[Silverity]

	How do you deal with such mental issues? What do you do to cheer yourself up? What gives you the inspiration to continue on?

I find appropriate music and dance around my suite. Sometimes I read a book and it helps calm me down and put me in a better position to rationally deal with any issues. I don't need inspiration to continue on, I love life and take pleasure in very simple things.

I am wondering if you've ever tried the Stop technique. When your mind starts nattering you say outloud, "Stop!" and force your thoughts in a new direction. Soon you don't say the word outloud, you just say it in your head. Some people wear an elastic band or similar thing around their wrist and snap it every time their thoughts skip off on their own. The point is to help discipline your mind.

Sometimes it helps to have an immediate stream of thoughts to follow after you've jerked your mind to a standstill. Those can be simple things ("What do I need to do today") or relaxing things ("Guided meditation").

Anyways, those are just some suggestions.

[ctclough]

I agree with KMAL, my fellow gym rat.

I'd start by getting off the couch, off the computer, and off the junk food. The more time people spend online, the more depressed they are. So, get out there! Watch the diet and alchohol intake. Simple carbohydrates and lack of exercise make me feel grumpy and tired. So, I go high protein, low carb and kick my butt at the gym.

My best advice it to unplug and reconnect with the *real* world. Sign up for a community class, take an exercise or cooking class, attend a book club. Get out there where you can meet like-minded people.

Sitting on your duff and whining about what an outsider you are will only make you feel more sorry for yourself and more miserable. If you are miserable, it is nobody's responsibility but yours. Only YOU can get yourself on a better path. Take responsibility for your health: mental and physical.

I find it helpful to set goals. Like, maybe two things you will do to improve your mental and physical health this week. Say it. Write it. DO it.

Every person on this planet deals with discouragement and depression at times. You are no different from anyone else. It doesn't need to own you or define you. Use this time as motivation for making positive life changes.

[Yhor]

	Originally Posted by Vai To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	How do you deal with such mental issues? What do you do to cheer yourself up? What gives you the inspiration to continue on?

I deal by just allowing my thought processes to flow. I don't allow myself to think in terms of how others see me, that is where my problems usually began. Objective analyzing of how I view myself helped me figure out what goals I needed to set, and then acting on those goals.

"Cheer" is relative to how you view yourself. Fixing my self image helps to make me happy.

My inspiration comes from knowing what works for me will keep me on my toes. Having it work for me every day (or as needed) makes working on new goals something to strive for.

Edit: Some of my goals are included in replies above. I think there is some great advice around here, just be careful how much time you spend on the unimportant details so you can actually DO something instead of thinking about doing something.

[BuShinJu]

One must imagine Sisyphus happy.

Sisyphus was a man the gods had condemned to push a boulder up a mountain for all eternity and when he got to the top the boulder would roll down the other side of the mountain, then he would go down and start again. I think Camus said you have to imagine him at the very moment when he is at the peak, the boulder is at it's highest point and is just about to tip over. For a split second, what is he experiencing?

I think it just means keep busy.

[admittedheretic]

	Originally Posted by Vai To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Don't feel like giving out the details, but my current source of depression is from my perception of underachievement, delays on my pursuits, feelings of being an outsider due to my religious beliefs (or lack thereof), and difficulties on having a stable relationship. How do you deal with such mental issues? What do you do to cheer yourself up? What gives you the inspiration to continue on?

I'm not very good at tuning out that voice inside that criticizes everything I do and at times it is too much to take. As much as I hate it, I feel if it wasn't there I would have absolutely no motivation which isn't much more than I have now. I have all sorts of ambitious goals and dreams, but when it comes time to act on them I talk myself down and out of them. If one can act on their thoughts it is healthy to have such a drive, but in the absence of esteem and environmental circumstances ambition can be a double edged sword. Scientists have observed lower serotonin levels in humans and even monkeys when perceive themselves to be of a lower social status.

There is no need to feel like an outside for being an atheist. At least here on this forum I think you'll find that you are no outsider with regard to your spiritual beliefs. Part of the reason we have religious groups is because others are afraid of being outsiders, but who wants to go with the flow when it's going in the wrong direction?

When I start to think about this stuff it tends to loop in my head and I pretty much just down. I don't really do anything to cheer myself up as much as I try to prevent anything bad or stressful from happening.

[paulm]

A few hours of alone time without any obligations does wonders for my mood. Often I'll end up cleaning.

The voice in my head that's criticising myself and others, often instantly. I'm trying to see it in the Buddhist sense of thoughts being our 6th sense. Like hearing and seeing, you don't really control what you hear or see, but you're free to choose if you act on what you hear or see. Simple, but not easy.

[trader7891]

I get the feeling of underachievement, I'm 23 and doing a full time diploma course while juggling two part time jobs.

I deal with the underachieving aspect, by not comparing myself to others, but by pushing myself even harder. I set my own targets, not drawn up against others. Everybody aims for a 4.0 GPA, and no one gets it, I draw a 3.8 GPA and I fall short, so I readjust, and refocus, and put in more time of studies. I still have got my 3.8, but I'm inching closer.

Also exercise really does help, I myself, love running and walking, when I'm especially troubled or feel like a loser, I go for long walks. And I urge you to try it.

I kinda of don't have anything to cheer myself up? I mean, I just need to get out of the low point, so that helps, but to make me happy, I honestly can't think of anything.

The inspiration that keeps me moving on is from my father. not in that way. He's a womanizing, lying gambling addict, and I never want to be anything like him, so I discipline myself, and work harder than anyone else, so that I can be someone more than he is.

Not exactly an ideal inspiration, but hey, anger is an energy.

Allow me to share with you a quick fable please.

There was once an oyster, sitting at the bottom of oceans floor. A particular sand got into it and it cause the oyster great discomfort and pain. Did the oyster cry for reforms? Or plead and beg at the sand? Or did it blame the government, or God for its missend. No, it said, "I'd do what I can with what I have". So it began to churn, trying to evict the cause of its pain and hurt, it churned and it churned, until that grain of sand, became a pearl. =)

Good day

[GenessorDios]

I never cheer myself up. All I can do is listen to music, watch tv shows and play video games for long enough that my brain gets distracted and forgets the reason I was depressed in the first place. Then I go back to normal. After a while, I get depressed, then rinse & repeat.

[SynOfMan]

I usually just read to take my mind away from the real world and jump into a care free fantasical one.

[tcp]

I think I can relate. Perhaps as you have pointed out, such feelings or such situations are not uncommon—you may need to reframe your perceptions of underachievement and such in order to effect a permanent change in your feelings.
If you continue to look at your situation in the same way, you'll feel the same.

I have become fond of this verse from the Tao Te Ching lately, although I don't know if I agree with all of it, I do feel comforted by the idea of ebb and flow, and how there is a time for everything. Perhaps you or I are not underachieving at all. We are working towards something greater. No one knows the future nor how the futures of our (currently) overachieving peers will turn out. We just have to keep going.

29

Do you want to improve the world?
I don't think it can be done.

The world is sacred.
It can't be improved.
If you tamper with it, you'll ruin it.
If you treat it like an object, you'll lose it.

There is a time for being ahead,
a time for being behind;
a time for being in motion,
a time for being at rest;
a time for being vigorous,
a time for being exhausted;
a time for being safe,
a time for being in danger.

The Master sees things as they are,
without trying to control them.
She lets them go their own way,
and resides at the center of the circle.

Lastly, I hope I have not said too much or been presumptuous. I apologize if I have, and wish you all the best.

[Vai]

Ok, so I should get some exercise, eat well, and get some fresh air outside. Duly noted.
Also I'll look more into the STOP technique Silverity suggested.

Thanks for all the kind suggestions, I'm feeling a little better now.


Sometimes I think my mind is my worst enemy. Bloody hell, I thought we were supposed to work together! =/

[TigerL]

1. I take a step back from my problems and ask myself : will this matter in a year? 5 years? 10 years? 30 years? If it doesn't, I don't take myself too seriously. Sometimes, talking to someone much older than yourself whom you trust can also give you perspective.

2. I think about the good things I do have (even simple things like easily accessible clean water) and how large percentages of the world population don't have X. Read Nicholas Kristof's column in the NY Times.

3. I think about the people I've known or read about in tougher situations than myself who have suceeded despite their circumstances.

[t3hrubikscube]

I don't know.

I've been in a depressive 'slump' for 5-6 years, and I just cannot seem to get my shit together. I don't mean to say that I haven't been happy at all for the past 5-6 years, because that's definitely false - lots of good things have happened to me, and I've been very happy, but it never lasts.

I pretty much just feel like shit all of the time until something good happens.

[Autoptic]

I don't cheer myself up either. Boredom, spite, dread, pain, lust, greed, and pride keep me moving. Besides, rolling over and dying didn't actually work. The floor just got cold, hard, boring, and lonely.

[Ytterbium]

I don't think I try to cheer myself up. If it's just for the moment I usually hum 'don't worry be happy' for myself.

Do do hmmm dodo

[Snowdragon]

I look at a picture of Chris-Chan in his mother's underwear.

[Nameless]

I was gonna say sleeping. Sometimes when you get up, things seem like a clean slate. That or just watching tv or movies... those things force you to put your attention in another place.

[INTJDownUnder]

Originally Posted by Vai To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Don't feel like giving out the details, but my current source of depression is from my perception of underachievement, delays on my pursuits, feelings of being an outsider due to my religious beliefs (or lack thereof), and difficulties on having a stable relationship. From what I've heard, this is what people call "real life" so I should be able to deal with it, but now it's so difficult for me to ignore the constant mental harassment I get from my mind whenever I lie down to rest or sleep. Sometimes I just want my brain to shut up so I can get a peaceful rest and refresh myself for my studies.

Hey, don't knock The Hypnotoad! I can't tell you the number of times it was The Hypnotoad that kept me going!

It sounds to me like you're struggling with self-acceptance. It sounds like a small, inconsequential thing but it really can have a powerful effect on your experience of living. And when we feel alone and have no one to talk to, those feelings get magnified. Like how a grenade's explosive's power gets magnified when set off in an enclosed room.

There are techniques you can learn to relax (e.g. meditate, play sports, talk to a friend, etc), but those will only ever provide temporary relief.

If you want a more lasting solution, you'll need to address the root cause of your distress.

[leeser920]

I tell myself that I will persevere and that no one has ever resolved anything by being in their head all day.

Like TigerL, I also try to put things into perspective by asking myself what will whatever I am going through matter in xyz amount of time. Or, I will compare what is happening to the worst thing that has ever happened to me. That usually gives me some reprieve because I know that if I've made it through worse, I will get through whatever has me down.

And if all else fails, I break out my AmEx card and shop.

[kepstein8888]

I know it sounds like a drug commercial, but you might want to rule out clinical depression. I've been on medication for it, and it seems to be helping.

Although personal and environmental factors are real, I think their impact on your daily life can sometimes be magnified by the biochemical weakening of your mental ability to deal with them.

I'm not a doctor; I just play one on the INTJ forum. But based on my own experience and what I've read...

	Originally Posted by Theaetetus To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	You might want to consider the idea that you achievements aren't everything.

That too. Our culture seems to overemphasize personal achievements and set people up for disappointment, as if there aren't other important things in life.