[vaguely dissatisfied]

I noticed SeaCzar's thread 'Traits of an INTJ' appeared to be bang on. But, the noticably missing trait (for me) was a controlling nature.

Anyone else think they are controlling or require more control than others?

[Haphazard]

Yes.

But this is just one INTX speaking.

[PortInStorm]

Yes, I need to have control over what affects me, but not over people per se. I think that's the difference. I really, really don't like not having control, but oddly, sometimes it is freeing to freak out, get over all the inhibitions.

[Uytuun]

	Yes, I need to have control over what affects me, but not over people per se.

Same. I have no desire whatsoever to control other people's lives...unless they get too close to me and start influencing my life fundamentally. I realised this when I started to feel uncomfortable with being controlling with my long-term ex...it's practically the only time in my life that I've experienced something like that...then again, that wasn't an ideal relationship format for an INTJ. Basically I don't care what other people do if it doesn't affect me in some important way. I haven't asked my friends, but I think I'm entirely uncontrolling with them most of the time.

[Haphazard]

	Originally Posted by Uytuun To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Basically I don't care what other people do if it doesn't affect me in some important way.

Actually, this is what's driven me to be extremely manipulative -- that is, of authority figures. My friends I don't care to control, but anybody that has control over my life I'm perfectly willing to control them to keep control of myself.

[Zilal]

I have a strong drive to control stuff, but it doesn't extend to controlling other people. More like trying to control myself and my own future.

[Motor Jax]

i can't speak for others, but i'm not

[Jgib5328]

I like absolute control over everything that is relevant to me. If someone is in my territory, then they will be under my control too (my two roommates so far). I don't care about stuff that doesn't have an effect on me, so I usually lack the desire to control it, but everything that is relevant, I control.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Does everybody that answered yes to needing control over things that directly effect them also have trouble with authority figures?

[Uytuun]

No, I make sure to get in their good graces. Most of the time these people were teachers and professors, people I could learn from, so it came naturally to me.

[Xeraii]

	Originally Posted by vaguely dissatisfied To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Does everybody that answered yes to needing control over things that directly effect them also have trouble with authority figures?

Not trouble, I'm usually good at knowing how to act around them in order to gain their trust and get away with things. But I definitely feel the need to gain their trust which I can use to further my own ends. I'm really only speaking about teachers mind you, I don't have experience with any other kind of authority.

[Homini Lupus]

I think controlling the others as the second best policy (best one being total independance). I prefer controlling over being controlled.

With authority figures, I'm not the kind to clash with them just for the sake of being "unconventional". But it can happen; it's a bit against my nature, but I do it if needed.

[ssfanatic]

Im controlling yes. But its not verbal at all. If you followed me around for a day you would never be able to tell that i am controlling, i just achieve this through manipulation.
So most would sway no, im not controlling, but knowing myself, yes i am controlling.

[Vivid]

No because INTJs strive for independency for themselves and others.
Yes because everyone is different and because an INTJ has high standards.

[Victor Tango]

Maybe not so much "control", but predictability.

If I know what's coming, and can react appropriately to it, that's enough for me.

[Haphazard]

	Originally Posted by vaguely dissatisfied To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Does everybody that answered yes to needing control over things that directly effect them also have trouble with authority figures?

I don't know, but I don't generally have problems with authority figures. Only once they get in my way do I start having problems, and they generally tend to wonder, 'What the hell happened to her?"

[PortInStorm]

Trouble with authority? No, if they've set out they're expectations and don't care what I do as long as I meet those expectations (the majority of profs in university).

I used to have a little more trouble in elementary and high school because they're still concerned with 'forming your character' then, and the desired character usually was similar to teachers. Therefore, if I wasn't responding like they would, regardless if I was being a good student, they'd try to change me. These are the authorities who wish to control thoughts, desires, attitudes instead of just results, and these I react against. You all know the type- harping on you all the time, even though you're not DOING anything wrong.

Or, if due to their slacking, they're affecting me adversely, I have to get serious. With one of my profs I threatened to go to the 'Human Rights Board' of the university, another I went to the department head the year he was up for tenure.

The vast majority of the time they like that I get things done, and we get along great, or become friends.

[szaxazs]

	Originally Posted by Homini Lupus To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I think controlling the others as the second best policy (best one being total independance). I prefer controlling over being controlled. With authority figures, I'm not the kind to clash with them just for the sake of being "unconventional". But it can happen; it's a bit against my nature, but I do it if needed.

Controlling over being controlled, so practically you agree with the dominant idea about the subject which is: you control anyone who tries to/does control you, in order to control yourself because you must be independent.

	Originally Posted by Vivid To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	No because INTJs strive for independency for themselves and others. Yes because everyone is different and because an INTJ has high standards.

Do we strive for the independency of others?

	Originally Posted by Victor Tango To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Maybe not so much "control", but predictability. If I know what's coming, and can react appropriately to it, that's enough for me.

I understand what you say completely and I agree, if you are able to successfuly predict the way things are going to develop then it is like you have some sort of "unfair advantage" over others.
I also think that the ability to predict stuff with logic is a skill, therefore one can increase that skill or leave it deteriorate.

Anyway I too agree with the dominant idea, I control anyone that tries to/ does control me in order to ultimately control myself.

[PRBori]

I like to have control of my day to day life and my plans, not necessarily people. Although, for people who want to be too close to me, I can be somehow controlling... not that I mean to be that way is just how it works.

Basically to me if someone wants to be involved with me romantically, then I make sure they know that the day they let go or the relationship ends I will no longer be part of their lives nor do I want them to be part of mine. You see I don't like to stay in contact with people I've being romantically involved at all. So to some this may sound controlling, specially if the person is not willing to terminate the relationship afterwards... but is just really how I am, not based on control for them to stay around...

At work I like to control my environment, I like to see my plans implemented and see the results, so I can be a little controlling with higher ups, but is not for personal reasons, rather for professional reasons.

So I guess it depends on what you mean by controlling.

[Jgib5328]

	Originally Posted by vaguely dissatisfied To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Does everybody that answered yes to needing control over things that directly effect them also have trouble with authority figures?

I don't have trouble with authority figures. I generally try to get on their good side and earn their respect. You can't get by in life if you don't humble yourself at the right times.

[SeaCzar]

	Originally Posted by vaguely dissatisfied To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Does everybody that answered yes to needing control over things that directly effect them also have trouble with authority figures?

Like most here, I need to control my life. I have NEVER been one who needed to be told what to do. When that happens, defiant mode immediately kicks in (you think I need to do what?!? I'll get on that just as soon as you're done licking the sweaty lint out of the crack of my a$$!! Sorry for the image).

To be honest, I've always thought that rules and authority figures were for those who needed them. I don't break the law, I mind my own business, etc. As far as bosses, clients, etc go, as long as they are straight forward and business-like, we get along fine.

[istheather]

I have a control issue with myself, especially when it comes to my work. However, I don't feel the need to control other people per se.

[Uytuun]

	I have NEVER been one who needed to be told what to do.

That is so true...you give an INTJ an assignment, (s)he completes it beautifully. I'm the same way, I was talking to a guy that complained about his promotor not being interested or involved in his project etc, not calling, not e-mailing and he really seemed to need that. I feel extremely lucky that my promotor leaves me alone. I keep her up to date and she tells me all she thinks would be useful and she helps when I ask for it, but there are no minideadlines or unnecessary interferences or anything. Lovely.

	you control anyone who tries to/does control you, in order to control yourself because you must be independent

Makes a lot of sense.

[DeadSpace]

Controlling myself, only thing i've ever been interested in. My take on it, if you try to control others in your life ~~>it's a waste of time, creates a fantasy, wastes energy, and even if successful...you ultimately lose. Constant distrust, constant manipulation, constant surveillance, a controller can never relax. Control freaks are some of the most stressed, unhappiest people you can meet.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

I agree with most posts here. I have no desire to control other people, but have an aversion to being controlled. This translates to not liking authority figures since they are often trying to control me. Good thing I finally got into self employment.

I also find that I really like to control my immediate environment. My home, work space, schedule etc. When someone else has a say in these areas it makes me unhappy.

All of this has gotten more pronounced as I have gotten older.