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Raising INTJ children None
Old 11-30-2009, 02:40 PM   #1
stock
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How can you nurture them?

What are mistakes to avoid?

What things should you make sure and provide?

Are there certain vulnerabilities to be aware of if you are raising an INTJ child?

Are there odd behaviors that are part of the package?

Certain games/toys/activities that you found you loved as children?
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Old 11-30-2009, 02:46 PM   #2
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  Originally Posted by stock
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How can you nurture them?

INTJs are most impressed by actions of love.

 
What are mistakes to avoid?

Inconsistency, weakness, being tentative. Have a consistent and just philosophy of discipline and stick to it.

 
What things should you make sure and provide?

Intellectual challenge, critical thinking skills, social opportunities in the context of doing something together (team sports, chess, glee club, etc.), music.

 
Are there certain vulnerabilities to be aware of if you are raising an INTJ child?

INTJs are weakest socially, and are reluctant to engage physical fights. That can make them targets for bullies.

 
Are there odd behaviors that are part of the package?

You won't garner respect just because you're the parent. You have to earn your stripes every day by being rational, just, and intelligent.

 
Certain games/toys/activities that you found you loved as children?

I loved anything that was goal oriented. Video games were (are) my addiction. I was particularly good at monopoly.

I think music is HUGE for an INTJ's development. Piano lessons early and often.

I found team sports to be helpful (soccer or basketball are recommended.)

Anything that challenges the intellect is great. (Legos, connex, etc.)

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Old 11-30-2009, 03:15 PM   #3
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Let them make their own decisions. Then, if they are young, help them logically think through the consequences of those decisions. If they make decisions that are illogical but cannot see that, help them weigh it out. Do NOT avoid talking directly to any of their statements or questions -- they see that as rejection more than a slap across the face.

Engage them in if-then conversations to stimulate proactive planning. "If THIS happens, what would you do?"

TM is right, and I'll take it farther: if you've got to choose, err on the side of being "lax" instead of trying to enforce illogical or totalitarian "because I'm the parent" rules. The INTJ will get their fingers burnt and learn that, yeah, Dad said not to play with the stove and that was good advice. Then your little INTJ will listen next time.

Teach them how to fight. Down and dirty, not Judo. The shock of impact in a street fight can send an INTJ back into their head when they really need to be paying attention to the Here-And-Now. And teach them about meditation. The thinking needs to be stopped for a while every now and then!

Give them lots and lots and lots of alone time. The more time they have to think the better people they will be. Example: my parents gave me a computer. I played stupid mindless games like Minesweeper to let my brain think without monkey chatter interrupting. So then my parents gave me a car because they wanted me to stop being so Introverted. So I would drive away from the house to be alone, and cut class to be alone, and left early to be alone, and snuck out to be alone... It's safer if your little INTJ can be 'alone' in your house or someplace where there are resources instead of some of the more dangerous places I stranded myself in. *eyeroll*

And if your little INTJ is bad at concentration or driving or anything which may be impeded by the constant flow of inner conversation, teach more meditation or just wait a year or three.
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Old 11-30-2009, 05:38 PM   #4
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I have some complaints about the way I was raised, but I don't know if it was good or bad for my development. I was forced into social contact and kept under the wings till fifteen. There were illogical and totalitarian rules, in my point of view (maybe I'm a bit biased, as I am a libertarian). I believe this made me more anti-social.

The most positive thing my relatives did to me was stimulating reading and math, since age 3 or 4. I started reading at 3, from looking at comics while Mom read them (It's important to see my language has a much better sound-to-ortography correspondence than English). This helped me a lot.

Give him books about a lot of subjects as soon as possible, miscelanneous (geography, religions, science, sports, history) facts worked well for me.

About toys I liked videogames, Lego, and toy weapons (I enjoyed being soldier/cop/detective with my cousin, only friend I did 'till age sixteen)

I got in a lot of fights, they teached me a lot.

The sport I enjoyed the most was Tennis. Team sport was basketball (and I'm 1.67m tall, about 5'7''
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) I hated soccer (mainstream).


I hope you can extract something from the text. Sorry for poor english skills.

EDIT: It's actually 5' 5.74"
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Old 11-30-2009, 05:55 PM   #5
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Stock, you've got some very good questions there, and it feels very odd for a college student to be offering any sort of parenting advice at all, but I figured I would answer anyway, so you could get a response from someone who is pretty close to her childhood still. My little disclaimer is that my answers may only be applicable to me and not all INTJs, but hopefully you'll still find some of my comments helpful.

All right. In answer to your first question, you can probably nurture your child well by reminding him or her that he or she is special, creative, and intelligent. I know that sometimes I would seem very confident and aloof, but inside I was harboring deep insecurities about myself and my abilities. If I got anything less than an A on a report card, I would fret and call myself an idiot inside my head. Your child might have high standards academically of himself/herself, too, and if they get a B, they might need you to reassure them that a B is a good grade.

I would also advise that you cut down on the hugging and stuff. That tended to make me very uncomfortable.

Mistakes to avoid are being inconsistent with discipline or anything. I don't like not being able to see a general pattern or not being able to predict that y is going to happen if I do x. Don't do what my dad did and ground me, because your kid probably won't care that much since INTJs aren't known for being social. Corner time doesn't really work, either, since I would just daydream. Putting me in my room didn't work, either, since that was where my books were. Taking away my books or not allowing me on the Internet worked, though
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Try not to act in a manner that could be perceived as unfair, though, since, at least for me, fairness is more important than most things. When you can, explain the reasoning behind your punishments, because I appreciated knowing the reason behind things. Without a reason, I couldn't understand something. If I couldn't understand something, I felt rebellious and lost respect for my parents.

You should make sure that you provide a lot of books and games that will provide your INTJ with intellectual stimulation and enhance his or her critical thinking abilities. You should also make sure that you provide them with time to be alone and recharge their mental batteries. Also, make sure that you listen to their ideas, because when a person ignores my ideas I never share them with that person again. You can challenge your child's idea, too, because if your child is anything like me they like being forced to think more deeply. Oh, and I would also recommend that you try to answer any question your child asks as honestly as possible. The truth mattered a lot to me as a child.

You should be aware that it is possible that an INTJ may be more emotional than he or she lets on and just keep that in mind. We also tend to struggle in social situations.

As a person, I know I have a rather bizarre sense of humor, I tend to have some unconventional thoughts, and I have some weird areas of interest, so you might see such things in your INTJ.

As a child, I was a great lover of books, and I still am. I also loved puzzles and games like Clue and Apples to Apples later on.

Hopefully, some of that was helpful. Good luck with your little oddball--I mean, INTJ.
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Old 11-30-2009, 06:22 PM   #6
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I agree with LE about getting anything less than an A being HORRIBLE.

I disagree about the hugging. I liked the hugging. Mmmm, tangible reassurance.

Cannot agree more re: reasons behind everything. If I didn't know WHY, I wouldn't go along with it. No. Never. Doesn't make sense, so piss off, no, go find someone else to bully. (explanation make sense? Then sure I'll do it. Drove my parents NUTS). <<THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE caused massive friction. If it isn't logical, why should we do it?
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Old 11-30-2009, 07:51 PM   #7
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Try this site, it allowed me to really understand my young self.

Here's the advice I can offer:

Always keep things fair. The one thing I HATED when I was a kid was when people were being unfair to me.
I had a really short attention span.
I was always the "leader" when I played with kids my age.

A lot of people are saying that they got into a lot of fights, or were bullied. I've never really had that problem. Well, I am a girl, so there were no physical fights, but I did get into a lot of arguments. And people never seemed to bully me. I figured out early on how to insult people out of a fight. I was great at sharp comments when I was younger. I used to give a lot of smart comments to my parents, but that was when I was younger, and it wasn't to hurt them.
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Old 11-30-2009, 09:17 PM   #8
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Just let your child have freedom. INTJ's are independent and want to make their own choices. You should provide lots of BOOKS. I love books. On all topics. Science, religion, philosophy, pschology etc. etc. Access (preferably unlimited, ha ha) to the Internet is a must too. There's too many things to learn and not enough time for the INTJ! The computer was my favourite toy growing up. But I think that even though your child is an INTJ, there's not reason to stop him/her from developing his/her Extroverted side. I think that's a very important aspect and will help a lot. So let him/her socialise!
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Old 12-01-2009, 07:34 AM   #9
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Thanks much for comments and thoughts. I know standard dogma teaches MBTI is not fixed until teenage years. I think that is incorrect.

He is rather little-2.5- but I am going to start him in suzuki violin soon as music fascinates him. Many of your comments about fairness and justice ring very true. Logic is everything. Punishments such as timeouts are of no use. He just stares. Mostly he does not need any punishment as he listens so well and learns from doing something once. His attention is very focused and he can follow detailed instructions very well. He is very controlled and coordinated. I can have logical conversations with a two year old. (My 13 yo ENFP was nothing like this)

Last week at the playground he did not want to share. I explained that you could play alone and not share or share and play with friends. He stopped, thought for about ten seconds, and then shared. He is funny as it was less a need for companionship and more a logical choice-"Ah, friends, those people to play alongside of..."

He seeks to structure his world. Routine and sameness are very important-even if it is a nonroutine ENFP mom routine. The details can vary, things can be messy-a bit-but the meta structure is important. I was out of town for two weeks and he was stuttering when I returned.

He cuddles with me and is very affectionate. Dad a bit. Not anyone else. He is very reserved and watches everything. He detested strangers when smaller, but will now engage a little. His look are almost arrogant towards them. With me, his looks are sometimes beautifully sweet. He says yes by a subtle blink down and no by the slightest sideways glance. Our favorite game is to be lions and growl and wrestle. His grandpa is an INTJ. When they sit together their facial expressions are almost cloned.

He mostly plays alone on the playground. However every now and then he will find the most obnoxious bully that is annoying the other kids and bond with him. They bond via screaming, hitting and chasing each other. The other kid stops bullying and mine becomes and more extroverted and aggressive-but only with the other kid. I assume he is picking out EXTJ partners and planning future world domination.

Thank much for advice!
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Old 12-01-2009, 10:09 AM   #10
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You sound like a bright, educated, sensitive, observant parent who truly loves her family. Your children are very lucky.
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Old 12-01-2009, 10:53 AM   #11
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My ego is large enough without people actually having put effort into praising me. I can only imagine what would've happened if I'd had much more praise
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From my own childhood. I value having read sci-fi, having studied philosophies - and having had time to develop my own ideas.

Having more social experience as a kid would be nice, and a problem like bullying might be circumvented by martial arts training. Seriously, if we're not going to be hurting people, we may as well not get hurt ourselves either
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Old 12-01-2009, 11:13 AM   #12
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  Originally Posted by stock
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I know standard dogma teaches MBTI is not fixed until teenage years. I think that is incorrect.

I agree, but there's a reason this "standard" is maintained - you can't really be sure of the type of a child. MBTI is introspective, and typing based on outward behaviour may be wrong. Additionally children don't necessarily behave analogically to adults of the same type. My ENTP sister acted no less "introverted" than you describe, yet she's an E. Similarly it's unrealistic to expect SJ child will be as "set in their way" as adults usually are; they're more likely to adapt and soak the rules which will govern their lives later.

At this point it's reasonable to act on the best guess (INTJ in this case), but what if you're wrong and he'll turn out to be an ISTP? Or ISTJ? Or ENTJ? Everything is possible. Especially if you typed your other child correctly early on, you might be inclined to believe you're right again. I'm just saying to keep an open mind, because it's impossible to exclude other possibilities yet.

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Old 12-01-2009, 03:22 PM   #13
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  Originally Posted by plotthickens
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TM is right, and I'll take it farther: if you've got to choose, err on the side of being "lax" instead of trying to enforce illogical or totalitarian "because I'm the parent" rules. The INTJ will get their fingers burnt and learn that, yeah, Dad said not to play with the stove and that was good advice. Then your little INTJ will listen next time.

Give them lots and lots and lots of alone time. The more time they have to think the better people they will be. Example: my parents gave me a computer. I played stupid mindless games like Minesweeper to let my brain think without monkey chatter interrupting. So then my parents gave me a car because they wanted me to stop being so Introverted. So I would drive away from the house to be alone, and cut class to be alone, and left early to be alone, and snuck out to be alone... It's safer if your little INTJ can be 'alone' in your house or someplace where there are resources instead of some of the more dangerous places I stranded myself in. *eyeroll*

I found the items I bolded above be particularly important to my childhood development. I found myself getting along much better with my lenient mother than my totalitarian stepfather.

And the second bolded part was difficult for my mother, who was afraid that I was developmentally troubled due to my very shy nature. While I've become much more social than when I was younger, I am glad that my mother now understands my need to be alone and uninterrupted. Like the post above, I reached out into some bad areas to be alone (ex: substance abuse), but once my family made it clear I could be alone in the house, I chose that route instead.

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Old 12-01-2009, 03:29 PM   #14
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They need a lot of time alone.

I loved books and science projects. I loved my microscope and "real" toys. Things meant to work in the adult world: a real old cash register instead of a fake, plastic one, etc.

They want to know everything AND systematize it. Try not to see the systematizing as stiffling. It's a loving act of preservation and "hallowing" if you will.
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Old 08-30-2010, 09:14 PM   #15
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How can you nurture them?
As a child, I found myself looking to imitate others in attempt to act "natural", knowing that I was a bit out of touch with those around me. Verbally explaining what is expected (and WHY) is the best way to foster socially acceptable behaviors. If you can explain social niceties in a logical way, you are more apt to get good results. My mom never won me over by saying "Because I'm your mother and I said so." But in saying "You should wear this (uncomfortable dressy clothing) tonight because that is the dress code and if you don't, you will draw attention to yourself (much more uncomfortable than any clothes could be!).


What are mistakes to avoid?
Like I said, saying "Because I said so" will never make a positive impact. Also, set very definite boundaries of what is acceptable, and what discipline will be expected if you disobey. Discipline should be directly related to correcting the behavior. Be firm!! Your intj will be sizing you up (from a young age) to see which of you has a stronger will.

What things should you make sure and provide?
I agree with the piano lessons - or music of some kind. I loved music and excelled at it. I found it like mathematical poetry, and loved the challenge of improving. I also agree with clubs of some sort. Even though I was terribly quiet and shy, I loved being involved with the Math Team in high school - it was like a gathering of NT's! And the Debate Team (which terrified me at first) was an excellent way to put my logical thoughts into articulate words. And after all, intj's LOVE a good debate. These groups added a social aspect to my teenage years that otherwise would have been nonexistent.

Are there certain vulnerabilities to be aware of if you are raising an INTJ child?
Your intj will probably feel more comfortable around adults, thinking that they have more interesting things to talk about than their peers. Be cautious of using sarcasm and excessive playful banter while within earshot - it may come back around with much more force than is acceptable! Not that it's meant to hurt - your intj will stab you to the heart and look at you, like - "Why are you so upset? Didn't you get my joke?" Also, beware not to criticize creativity unless invited. Your intj will be very aware of the mistakes made in their musical performance, or in their artwork, or the speech they gave, or how awkward they were at the party... Believe me, it will be running through their head over and over - to have you point it out is rubbing salt in the wounds. I'd say this as well as criticizing them for "not being nice" are the most sensitive areas.

Are there odd behaviors that are part of the package?
Umm... I recall bathing was an issue for many years... a very cumbersome activity that seemed unnecessary unless you were noticeably dirty. Also, I'm not sure if this is a typical intj trait, but I had a tremendous dislike for talking on the phone, and would avoid answering it. Nowadays, you can be glad we have texting and email - these are much easier ways to communicate.

Certain games/toys/activities that you found you loved as children?
Scrabble was fun - cranium is a good time - apples to apples is new, but also good. Although monopoly and risk are good strategy games, I never 'enjoyed' them, because the people you play with are usually too easily offended or give up playing half-way through... very annoying. I loved hide and seek - couldn't get enough. As far as non-competitive games... rewriting lyrics to favorite songs - or trying to speak in alliterations (all words beginning with the same letter). Competition is fun, but only if those you are playing with can take the challenge - OR win graciously. And on our many road trips we took when I was younger, I was fascinated with the road maps, and eventually grew to become our family navigator.

I hope this helps... Enjoy your scientist
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Old 08-30-2010, 09:49 PM   #16
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  Originally Posted by stock
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How can you nurture them?

- Praise them for a job well done or good behavior
- Reprimend them for bad behavior and then explain to the why they were reprimended.

I've found that a "Good For Me" chart listing the daily tasks to be accomplished, and showing the weekly overview of how they did thru the weeks works wonders. My little one gets a red star if she listens or behaves good, a yellow star if she doesn't listen or behave,whether is me or the teachers at school. The more red stars lead to a certificate, after 3 certificates she gets a present, if she gets mainly yellow stars, then a privilegde such as watching a movie, going to the pool, participating in school extracurricular activities get taken away.


 
What are mistakes to avoid?

Screaming doesn't work at all, again establish rules instead. Although I admit, sometimes with stress screaming can take a load.

Ignore them when they rant for long period of time. My little one can rant for hours and no matter what I do she won't stop, so I just knock myself to sleep or do something else until she knocks herself to sleep. That way I calm myself out instead of lashing at her for her behavior.

 
What things should you make sure and provide?

- CRAFTS activities are good for them, either do them at home or take them to places that offer them free
- Education Reinforcements , this days schools are lacking funding and sometimes the kids don't learn everythign at school, so purchase reinforcement tools to teach them after school those areas they are not learning well while in school (I know odd, but I've had to do that with my little one. The teachers will send me a note of the areas that she still has trouble and I have to go and buy the items and teach her myself after school... I'm sure that will increase this year as she enters 1st grade.
-Computer Access, I had lots of computer games available for my son when he was 1 1/2, and although a bit late, I've started the same for my little one as well. It works wonders when you can keep track of their learning abilities and they have fun while doing it.

 
Are there certain vulnerabilities to be aware of if you are raising an INTJ child?

Not sure for I think the only one would be my son and I didn't raise him and my little one seems to be an ENTP at school, but an INFP at home, I think a lot has to do with me being an extreme case of "I" at home. However, on a personal level, while growing up I did valued my time, loved books dearly, loved nature activities, and loved being understood by others, typically the teachers within my family who knew I was always thirsty for knowledge. That said, give them their space, give them lots of books and scientific items to do, a wide variety of musical instruments, make them love classical music and instrumenstal background.. I think those would help in the long run. Personally I love MOZART the most...

 
Are there odd behaviors that are part of the package?

Not sure what you mean with odd behaviors, we INTJs never have odd behaviors that just how others perceive it... That said, there is nothing odd about an INTJ, but if you feel that way, then yes, they are part of the package.
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Certain games/toys/activities that you found you loved as children?

Hmmm.... list can go on and on and on...but here is a breakdown

- Science, anything for discovering the surrounding would be awesome, that includes binoculars, magnifiers, magnets, microscopes, telescopes, and of course scientific activities.

- Math, lots of items to practice math with, big dices, 100+ Teddy bear collections, flash cards, movies, cash register, money, clocks, etc.

-Brain teasers - logical, unlogical, anything that makes him/her think. For me geometrical games such as tangoes and/or tangrams are an essential part of my collection.

- Outdoors , camping, going to the rivers, looking for bugs, picking up leaves on autum, picking up little animals and garden snakes, learning about them via flash cards or movies, just anything that had to do with outdoors was fun. Biking, rollerblading, walking for long periods of times, watching the sky at night looking at the stars, etc.

- Computer time - yes, there are plenty of computer games geared towards kids and they are great.

- Music, piano, guitar, dancing, singing, anything related to music will relax them in the long run



I think that is sufficient for now...

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Old 08-30-2010, 10:42 PM   #17
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Never set tasks which are beyond their development level or criticize their failures. NT kids are self-doubting and for them to feel proud of themselves they must feel smart. They are particularly vulnerable here, with too much failure undermining their self-esteem.
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Old 08-31-2010, 04:47 AM   #18
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Remember to give him a lot of free space. And not only when he reaches adolescence like other types of people. - INTJs like to spend time alone all their life not only in their adolescence.
Another important point: don't force your perspectives and ideas upon him/her. My parents for instance always tried and still try to shape my mind to be like them and I really don'e appreciate them for that... INTJs like freedom of thoughts so don't force him like if he'll think for example that democracy is bad and it's stupid to let the people interfere in the state's business don't go all like "OMG YOU MUST NEVER THINK THAT WAY" and that sort of stuff because he'll lose his trust with you and look at you not as at a mother but 'another person whom I pretend as if I listen to but I really don't have much respect to'

  Originally Posted by Romeo
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Never set tasks which are beyond their development level or criticize their failures. NT kids are self-doubting and for them to feel proud of themselves they must feel smart. They are particularly vulnerable here, with too much failure undermining their self-esteem.

I think the opposite is correct here. I think it's essential to criticize an INTJ child so long you let them understand (you literally tell them) that criticism is a good because it helps you become better. Elsewhere he'll be one of many straight-bold INTJs who think only he's right all the time.

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Old 08-31-2010, 05:06 AM   #19
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Team sports were a curse. Let them do something individual and practical, like Martial Arts. Remember that they are still kids and do dumb stuff, just like any other kid.

If I can be basic and adjust each preference.

INTJs are introverted, but as children they need your attention, even if it's not so often. This can be harder with children who need more attention more often. The child may become "invisible" after awhile.. to you and they will feel that way. I adjusted and played the role of shadow rather than trying to attract attention. Video games fed it..

If you're an S, try and discuss their ideas with them. They will have them and feedback is good. If you can understand their thinking, if they can talk to you about ideas.. this will benefit you greatly. You will understand them and become better friends as they reach adulthood.

That said, call them on their bullshit and don't be stupid or unjust with them. It's not only confusing but immensely angering. It can be a hard balancing act with all the needs of a kid.. but when it comes to decision making try to be logical..at least more than the kid.

J? Structure's good.
Also, those stupid little punishments on everyone to find out "who did it" where the biggest pain in the ass. I hate being blamed for shit I didn't do.
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Old 08-31-2010, 04:00 PM   #20
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Excellent suggestions so far, I hope your INTJ has a better childhood than I did.

The most important thing you can do is allow your child freedom to be him/herself, and not try to impose anything on him, or be unfair.
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Old 08-31-2010, 04:08 PM   #21
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When he's picky with food, do try to get him to eat something nutritious but don't force him to eat whatever you cook. If he says he doesn't want to eat it, let him have a sandwich.
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Old 09-01-2010, 06:41 AM   #22
stock
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aka Orobas
MBTI: ENFP
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oh, many more really great suggestions and thoughts, thanks much!

Did you guys find that as children you were very hyper when tired? Not cranky, but instead reticent and focused, then HYPER...crash. It is such an odd contrast from his normal behavior and the hyperness lasts for about 30 minutes an you only see it when he is tired.

Also did you methodically, logical try and manipulate others as children? Not in a mean way, but more in a puzzle way? I have caught him doing this a few times, and when I call him on it, he actually looks pleased that I figured out the game.

He also has decided certain activities are "serious", like violin lessons, and after i let him know that I was disappointed in him for wasting his teachers time, he stopped being silly in his lessons and instead is highly focused. He enjoys explaning to the much larger INTJ boyfriend that "that isnt the RIGHT way to hold the violin" and totally is excited to try and do things better than the larger INTJ or teach the larger INTJ, the CORRECT way to do things.

He also tries to push me out of the way and take over tasks I am doing.

Did you guys find that you could get your feelings hurt by those you were very close to? If I speak sharply to him, which happens rarely, he crumbles. It is so strange to see my little stoic, methodical, OCD, reticent child be emo. His little face will crumple and little tears will pour down.

Hi also also obsessed with the earth, sun and moon and clouds so I bought him little posters from the teacher store that show how they all fit together, so now he tries to explain it to me. He also has taken a liking to jigsaw puzzles lately.

he and the larger INTJ play the "switch" game where you call things by the wrong name or do the wrong thing and expect the other person to figure it out. He thinks this is very, very funny...
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Old 09-01-2010, 03:52 PM   #23
undertow
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  Originally Posted by stock
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Also did you methodically, logical try and manipulate others as children? Not in a mean way, but more in a puzzle way? I have caught him doing this a few times, and when I call him on it, he actually looks pleased that I figured out the game.

Oh yes! I sometimes told one person something, and another person one thing about the first person. For example:

-Person A, Did you know Person B likes you?
Then he/she get's kind of happy knowing Person B likes him/her.
Then I'd go to Person B and say:
-I think Person A likes you, he/she told me before.
And then they danced around each other for some time.

I had this guy in my class when I was 7-9 years old, and he was superjealous of me and tried to bully me. I smarted him out all the time pretending I was his friend, and he told me what things he had done to others. (Stolen pencils or something) So I busted his ass by telling the teachers.

  Originally Posted by stock
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He also has decided certain activities are "serious", like violin lessons, and after i let him know that I was disappointed in him for wasting his teachers time, he stopped being silly in his lessons and instead is highly focused. He enjoys explaning to the much larger INTJ boyfriend that "that isnt the RIGHT way to hold the violin" and totally is excited to try and do things better than the larger INTJ or teach the larger INTJ, the CORRECT way to do things.

I didn't (still don't) take things seriously. I went through school painting in class, talking, making jokes because there was no challenge. The second something became tricky I was very focused and often pulled through it. But math and such was so easy I didn't bother, I made the highest grade anyway. When I'm interested, I do everything to learn. Just check my girl problem thread.

  Originally Posted by stock
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Did you guys find that you could get your feelings hurt by those you were very close to? If I speak sharply to him, which happens rarely, he crumbles. It is so strange to see my little stoic, methodical, OCD, reticent child be emo. His little face will crumple and little tears will pour down.

When I did something bad, my father screamed in my face. He's a very nice person and have never hurt anyone. He's very caring and so but when he got angry at me and my brothers he let us know. I often cried and went to my mother for comfort after being yelled at. He eventually changed and tried to be reasonable when getting angry, letting us know we had done something wrong without having to scream in our faces.

  Originally Posted by stock
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Hi also also obsessed with the earth, sun and moon and clouds so I bought him little posters from the teacher store that show how they all fit together, so now he tries to explain it to me. He also has taken a liking to jigsaw puzzles lately.

I was obsessed with the solar system. I was obsessed with everything that made me ask "Why?", and still am.

  Originally Posted by stock
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he and the larger INTJ play the "switch" game where you call things by the wrong name or do the wrong thing and expect the other person to figure it out. He thinks this is very, very funny...

I've always liked charades, acting or other things that puts a mask on my face. Mysteries are everything, I've never played that particular game, but that one I think I'd like. I was badass at memory as a child because I managed to build up a picture in my head where all the pieces were connected and then synchronised it with reality.

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Old 09-01-2010, 09:34 PM   #24
Romeo
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  Originally Posted by Vulkan
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Excellent suggestions so far, I hope your INTJ has a better childhood than I did.

The most important thing you can do is allow your child freedom to be him/herself, and not try to impose anything on him, or be unfair.

I bet you were socialized by sensory parents. They tend to do a number on their NT children. I love my mom, however, she is an ESFJ. Whew! What a trip that was through childhood and young adolescence. Enough said? In the end, I became the parent and she, the child.

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Old 09-01-2010, 10:09 PM   #25
Vulkan
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  Originally Posted by Romeo
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I bet you were socialized by sensory parents. They tend to do a number on their NT children. I love my mom, however, she is an ESFJ. Whew! What a trip that was through childhood and young adolescence. Enough said? In the end, I became the parent and she, the child.

In a nutshell, yeah.

My Father is more like me, but I only ever got to see him every other weekend. My Mother is most definitely some sensory variant or another.

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