Opposite of "So I Moved to a New City"

**Marlowe221** · 10-27-2009, 09:44 AM

I haven't moved to a new city. I've lived in my city for 5 years now.

I don't require a lot of friends - just a couple. But over the last 2 years or so my friends have moved away. The last friend I have here in town that I can really talk to and enjoy spending time with is moving away on Friday. I have to admit to feeling pretty bummed.

I suddenly find myself in the position of not having any friends close by (what I would call day-to-day friends). I'm not sure how to solve this problem and any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks.

**Necrosis** · 10-27-2009, 10:33 AM

Where do you work? I just moved about 40 mins away from home on my own now and started a new job. So I basically knew no one. The best way to start is too meet people at work. They don't have to become your best friend but you can practice introducing yourself to people. A couple of co-workers here have become good friends now. Just introduce yourself and go to lunch with some.

Join a gym or take some type of athetlic/dancing lessons. I meet people in the gym all the time. And while they aren't friends persay, it's the usual hey when you go and that's a start to just becoming more social.

Everywhere you go is basically a chance to meet someone. Just say hi and smile
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**Tyrant Soup** · 10-27-2009, 08:18 PM

Meetup.com. Highly recommended. You'll find many people with the same motive as yourself.

**Marlowe221** · 10-27-2009, 08:34 PM

Unfortunately, I don't really have co-workers. I am self employed actually...

I'm sure you're right - that I am going to have to meet new people. I just dread new people worse than going to the dentist.
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I don't mind spending time alone or anything. Like a lot of us on this forum I need more alone time than most people seem to need. But I have always had one or two very close friends everywhere I've lived. I guess I was always the one that left in the past. Now I am the one being left and it's a new experience for me - and it sucks.

I am sure that no matter how hard we try, time and the distance will cause us to gradually grow apart. You say you'll call and visit, and maybe you will for a while, but life eventually gets in the way.

I don't deal very well with change...

**Fanowene** · 10-27-2009, 08:37 PM

Just talk to people... If you want an easy "target", go for somebody else who looks slightly lost but looks like a nice person. That "lost" person might also be looking for friends and relieved that somebody is talking to him/her - it's a start. Just be friendly. That person doesn't like you (or you end up not liking that person)? Ok, moving on.....

**EL Gato** · 10-29-2009, 06:46 PM

Ditto for meetup.com. I have met more like minded people by narrowing meeting people with similar interests than through the random process of waiting to be introduced to the right people. Other than that, try a bit of extroversion, although for me that's a bit exhausting.

Coralaisly · 10-29-2009, 07:13 PM

take a class in something you're interested in. it's a win-win, you learn something new, and have a good chance of meeting people with similar interests to yours

**millifly** · 10-29-2009, 11:41 PM

Maybe you can take your work to a cafe and hang out there. I find the cafe atmosphere intimate enough without being overbearing. You don't have to talk to anyone initially. If you keep going there, people will begin to recognize you and see where it leads...

10-27-2009, 09:44 AM	#1
Marlowe221 Member [03%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 146	I haven't moved to a new city. I've lived in my city for 5 years now. I don't require a lot of friends - just a couple. But over the last 2 years or so my friends have moved away. The last friend I have here in town that I can really talk to and enjoy spending time with is moving away on Friday. I have to admit to feeling pretty bummed. I suddenly find myself in the position of not having any friends close by (what I would call day-to-day friends). I'm not sure how to solve this problem and any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
Marlowe221 is offline post a comment

10-27-2009, 10:33 AM	#2
Necrosis Core Member [102%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 4,113	Where do you work? I just moved about 40 mins away from home on my own now and started a new job. So I basically knew no one. The best way to start is too meet people at work. They don't have to become your best friend but you can practice introducing yourself to people. A couple of co-workers here have become good friends now. Just introduce yourself and go to lunch with some. Join a gym or take some type of athetlic/dancing lessons. I meet people in the gym all the time. And while they aren't friends persay, it's the usual hey when you go and that's a start to just becoming more social. Everywhere you go is basically a chance to meet someone. Just say hi and smile To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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10-27-2009, 08:18 PM	#3
Tyrant Soup Member [40%] MBTI: intj Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,608	Meetup.com. Highly recommended. You'll find many people with the same motive as yourself.
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10-27-2009, 08:34 PM	#4
Marlowe221 Member [03%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 146	Unfortunately, I don't really have co-workers. I am self employed actually... I'm sure you're right - that I am going to have to meet new people. I just dread new people worse than going to the dentist. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I don't mind spending time alone or anything. Like a lot of us on this forum I need more alone time than most people seem to need. But I have always had one or two very close friends everywhere I've lived. I guess I was always the one that left in the past. Now I am the one being left and it's a new experience for me - and it sucks. I am sure that no matter how hard we try, time and the distance will cause us to gradually grow apart. You say you'll call and visit, and maybe you will for a while, but life eventually gets in the way. I don't deal very well with change...
Marlowe221 is offline post a comment

10-27-2009, 08:37 PM	#5
Fanowene Member [33%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 1,354	Just talk to people... If you want an easy "target", go for somebody else who looks slightly lost but looks like a nice person. That "lost" person might also be looking for friends and relieved that somebody is talking to him/her - it's a start. Just be friendly. That person doesn't like you (or you end up not liking that person)? Ok, moving on.....
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10-29-2009, 06:46 PM	#6
EL Gato Member [15%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 603	Ditto for meetup.com. I have met more like minded people by narrowing meeting people with similar interests than through the random process of waiting to be introduced to the right people. Other than that, try a bit of extroversion, although for me that's a bit exhausting.
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10-29-2009, 07:13 PM	#7
Coralaisly Veteran Member [79%] MBTI: XXXX Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 3,184	take a class in something you're interested in. it's a win-win, you learn something new, and have a good chance of meeting people with similar interests to yours
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10-29-2009, 11:41 PM	#8
millifly Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 82	Maybe you can take your work to a cafe and hang out there. I find the cafe atmosphere intimate enough without being overbearing. You don't have to talk to anyone initially. If you keep going there, people will begin to recognize you and see where it leads...
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