Can INTJs be charismatic?

**millifly** · 10-23-2009, 11:50 PM

I've only met one INTJ in my life who possesses a certain magnetism and charm that when you talk to him, you feel like you're being hypnotized. So I do think that it's possible for INTJs to have charisma, but I don't think you'll encounter them often. Do you have a certain amount of charisma? Or are the personality traits of INTJ quintessentially anti-charismatic?

**Blse** · 10-23-2009, 11:59 PM

I would imagine an INTJ could be charismatic, of course. In MBTI lingo, Fe is the congitive function most commonly associated with charm and social graces. There are INTJs with a stron Fe (any type can have a certian function strongly pronounced). That said, I have know I idea if I'm charismatic, but would really like to know.

**stiletto** · 10-24-2009, 12:05 AM

Well, yes. It's pretty much just a skill, it can be learned, some just seem a little more predisposed to it than others.

I'm fairly charming, I've always had an easy time making friends, even when I was very young. Though on the other hand, I'm also rather shy, and I suck at smalltalk like most of our type. I don't think I'm incredibly magnetic or anything, but I do have something that tends to draw people in and disarm them.

I think INTJ characteristics can lend themselves to a certain kind of charm. I think our sharp edges just require some softening, we could also culture a little more social sensibility (which I've always found pretty easy using Fi), and then also if egoism is done away with, I think we tend to come across as quite charismatic. It's typically not the breezy, facile kind of charisma that I usually think of; but I think it can be pretty captivating in its own way.

**Amphorian** · 10-24-2009, 12:06 AM

I know I can be, but only when I feel like it and am more loosened up. It's kinda freaky when people intently listen to you, you're making smooth talk and basking in the moment. O_O I actually don't like it. >_>

**Night Runner** · 10-24-2009, 12:50 AM

Charisma can be both a gift and a skill. Rudy Giuliani is an INTJ, and he learned all the typical charismatic tricks very early on in his political career. (There are multiple accounts of his awkwardness and shyness when he was younger.)

**CWC** · 10-24-2009, 03:53 AM

	Originally Posted by millifly To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I've only met one INTJ in my life who possesses a certain magnetism and charm that when you talk to him, you feel like you're being hypnotized. So I do think that it's possible for INTJs to have charisma, but I don't think you'll encounter them often. Do you have a certain amount of charisma? Or are the personality traits of INTJ quintessentially anti-charismatic?

We're not at all anti-charismatic.

I can be particularly sociable with ease when I think the people whom I'm with are those who are worth bridging relationships with.Either that or,they are means to an end.

**annaelizabeth** · 10-24-2009, 05:22 AM

yes, actually I think I am at times, especially when I'm in a good mood and feeling particularly sociable.
It's something I've learned over the years and not something that comes naturally to me, but it can be done.

**SelfMadeBum** · 10-24-2009, 05:28 AM

Depends on what you mean by charisma. I happen to think Dr. House is one of the more charismatic characters on TV.

**wardo** · 10-24-2009, 08:08 AM

I find that being charismatic is an important skill for getting ahead. Although sometimes I am very stern, smiling and making jokes has always come naturally to me so at times I find myself the center of attention even when I don't want to be. I think a good deal of it has to do with body language. Smiling is probably the simplest thing to do.

**sunlover** · 10-24-2009, 09:14 AM

Ditto....I've learned to be charismatic ...when I want to be. Of course in my case it wasn't really til I hit my 40's that I gained that ability.

**wittykitty** · 10-24-2009, 10:25 AM

I would say its highly doubtful that an INTJ would be naturally charismatic. I know that personally, I am decently charismatic, but it was a skill I had to work on, and it still requires a degree of thinking about before I can actually use it as oppose to something that comes easily.

**Autoptic** · 10-24-2009, 04:37 PM

I've actually been called charming in some contexts. It's just an odd mood with an odd person. In a very different life, it may be more likely though still likely quite conditional.

While quite differently than the above, I can do more than I do as I used to on many occasions years ago, which contributed to people missing the clinical depression and other issues at the time. It's just rarely worth the soul-suckingness and almost always requires multiple if not continuing applications. Making annoying people happy is annoying to infuriating. Making infuriating people happy breeds hate. Smiling ends up sardonic, and the experience leads to disgust, seething, and vitriol which I might manage to contain but will retain. I'd need sufficient compensation that mostly doesn't even exist, within a mostly impossible time frame.

**lincoln** · 10-24-2009, 04:59 PM

Ya, for some reason I always ignite people's interest. I'm the teachers favorite (and I never meet with them after class or anything)..was really popular in school etc.
I think it's really because I'm always myself and people notice that consistency. So, eventually they end up respecting me in time.
It's also about being loving and intelligent with a touch of uniqueness....+ give me a minute and I'll make you laugh or whatever....I'm never tough with anyone unless they're being an ass, then no more smiles...
but I can't understand the people who are so serious all the time..geez, never understood it..When you smile at them a little and they just stare at you.What's that all about?

**t3hrubikscube** · 10-24-2009, 07:32 PM

Anyone can work to become charismatic, so sure. I don't think that a lot of INTJs are naturally charismatic, though, but pretty much anyone can become charismatic if one so chooses to.

**Samueza** · 10-25-2009, 03:05 AM

General note on this discussion: as far as I've seen charisma is deemed to be an ability which can either be innate or learned, yet the INTJ personality is axiomized to be natural. A more descriptive assessment would be how natural INTJ's relate to charisma, combined with the given question of how INTJ's relate to natural charisma. I take myself to be a formed INTJ who used to be an E. Charisma is not something I had to develop, which I think was part of my former E-ness. After I found that I proverbially have nothing in common with other people I learned to tone it down. No point in attracting people you don't want to attract. I do use charisma in the more formal situations I am comfortable with. And if I happen to be in a social situation anyway...

**Jgib5328** · 10-25-2009, 12:59 PM

I'm not naturally charismatic in most contexts, but I have developed the skill through practice, such as being on the debate team, observing charismatic individuals, and just practicing.

**liquidzilla** · 10-25-2009, 01:13 PM

I'd guess so seeing as I've been called charismatic at certain points by people. I'm guessing its to do with confidence as well as what functions are higher.

**clockwatcher** · 10-25-2009, 01:29 PM

i'd say that i am naturally charismatic, although my natural charisma is of an awkward and almost childish sort. i've learned to hone it into a more accessible form, and i've come to find that people are pretty much putty when i decide to turn it on. however if you put me near anyone i find to be particularly interesting and/or gorgeous i will shut the fuck down.

and when its off, its off. apparently i confuse people. i can see why though... one day at work all my coworkers may love me and another they may all be afraid to approach me. i think consistency is what i need to learn.

**Silverity** · 10-25-2009, 09:38 PM

I find my charisma is rather bullet-like. I'm extremely introverted, interactions with others wilt me pretty quickly. My answer to this problem is to "store up" my charisma and then kind of focus-fire it at people. I stay inside my own sweet little head for most sociable events but every now and then I see someone I want to get to know, and then I'll expend a bit more energy.

And after I get to know someone well it's like exercising a muscle-- I don't feel drained and can be my natural citrusy sweet self.

**Zhen** · 10-25-2009, 09:57 PM

yep for all of about the first few minutes or 1 or 2 meetings and then social exhaustion sets in/novelty factor wears off...and I don't feel like talking anymore. If I had better social stamina and could be bothered, maybe.

**ranwayslo** · 10-26-2009, 06:34 AM

Even the people who don't like me hang around me and solicit my company. Is that charm? If so then I have it.

**brecia** · 10-26-2009, 08:08 AM

My sense of humor,my witty comments and sometimes my sarcasm make people drawn to me.I can be very cheery,very talkative and very convincing.But i feel like i'm faking,also it takes a lot of energy.Eventhough i prefer being invisible i am somehow in the center of attention.
I know a person who i think definitely an INTJ.She never talks so much,she seeks solitude,she lives like from another universe actually.She also is obsessed with being self sufficient.Well, i'm too.However i find this girl boring and repulsive.I feel like she thinks she knows the things others can't know.Lets say my intuition about her.If i's like her i would have done something to change my personality,immediately.

However i know that,if people bothers me, i make them know that they bothered me.If i'm angry,they know,if they hurt me ,they know.I reflect these.Other than this i'm known as well informed,witty,energetic,funny and smart.( along with cold,narcistic,emotionless and selfish,strange eh? )
I don't like bragging but people find me interesting.If it is with being an INTJ or not ,that i don't know.

**Third Eye** · 10-26-2009, 08:27 AM

People at work often say the usual like I'm quiet or I'm shy. I just often let them think that I am that. They are often shocked when I do speak up to make a valid point. I have no problem speaking in front of people, especially when I am prepared. I think I do have some sort of natural charisma because I am often approached by people when out and about. Sometimes it can be annoying especially when I am relaxing or concentrating on something in my head. Often it is my weirdness that attracts some people. While my friends play pool (I hate pool) I'll go off and throw darts by myself and people will follow me to do this.

**thiagofralves** · 10-26-2009, 04:43 PM

I don't think I'm charismatic on one on one situations. However, when speaking to a group I feel like I really grab their attention, maybe because I seem like very sure about what I'm talking about. I even managed to get away with some small lies in these situations to the point that people would defend me from anyone who thought I was lying.

**Nightsun** · 10-27-2009, 01:22 AM

I'm not naturally charismatic but charisma can be mimic and If I need something I can be very good at manipulating people minds. I call it "survival". My mother always said to me when I was young and rebel: "you must work inside the system if you want to crash it".

10-23-2009, 11:50 PM	#1
millifly Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 82	I've only met one INTJ in my life who possesses a certain magnetism and charm that when you talk to him, you feel like you're being hypnotized. So I do think that it's possible for INTJs to have charisma, but I don't think you'll encounter them often. Do you have a certain amount of charisma? Or are the personality traits of INTJ quintessentially anti-charismatic?
millifly is offline post a comment

10-23-2009, 11:59 PM	#2
Blse Core Member [125%] MBTI: ENTJ Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 5,030	I would imagine an INTJ could be charismatic, of course. In MBTI lingo, Fe is the congitive function most commonly associated with charm and social graces. There are INTJs with a stron Fe (any type can have a certian function strongly pronounced). That said, I have know I idea if I'm charismatic, but would really like to know.
Blse is offline post a comment

10-24-2009, 12:05 AM	#3
stiletto Member [09%] MBTI: INtJ Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 392	Well, yes. It's pretty much just a skill, it can be learned, some just seem a little more predisposed to it than others. I'm fairly charming, I've always had an easy time making friends, even when I was very young. Though on the other hand, I'm also rather shy, and I suck at smalltalk like most of our type. I don't think I'm incredibly magnetic or anything, but I do have something that tends to draw people in and disarm them. I think INTJ characteristics can lend themselves to a certain kind of charm. I think our sharp edges just require some softening, we could also culture a little more social sensibility (which I've always found pretty easy using Fi), and then also if egoism is done away with, I think we tend to come across as quite charismatic. It's typically not the breezy, facile kind of charisma that I usually think of; but I think it can be pretty captivating in its own way.
stiletto is offline post a comment

10-24-2009, 12:06 AM	#4
Amphorian Core Member [311%] MBTI: ISTP Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 12,457	I know I can be, but only when I feel like it and am more loosened up. It's kinda freaky when people intently listen to you, you're making smooth talk and basking in the moment. O_O I actually don't like it. >_>
Amphorian is offline post a comment

10-24-2009, 12:50 AM	#5
Night Runner Core Member [148%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,931	Charisma can be both a gift and a skill. Rudy Giuliani is an INTJ, and he learned all the typical charismatic tricks very early on in his political career. (There are multiple accounts of his awkwardness and shyness when he was younger.)
Night Runner is offline post a comment

10-24-2009, 05:22 AM	#7
annaelizabeth Member [31%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,248	yes, actually I think I am at times, especially when I'm in a good mood and feeling particularly sociable. It's something I've learned over the years and not something that comes naturally to me, but it can be done.
annaelizabeth is offline post a comment

10-24-2009, 05:28 AM	#8
SelfMadeBum Core Member [513%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 20,529	Depends on what you mean by charisma. I happen to think Dr. House is one of the more charismatic characters on TV.
SelfMadeBum is offline post a comment

10-24-2009, 08:08 AM	#9
wardo Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 140	I find that being charismatic is an important skill for getting ahead. Although sometimes I am very stern, smiling and making jokes has always come naturally to me so at times I find myself the center of attention even when I don't want to be. I think a good deal of it has to do with body language. Smiling is probably the simplest thing to do.
wardo is offline post a comment

10-24-2009, 09:14 AM	#10
sunlover Member [23%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 955	Ditto....I've learned to be charismatic ...when I want to be. Of course in my case it wasn't really til I hit my 40's that I gained that ability.
sunlover is offline post a comment

10-24-2009, 10:25 AM	#11
wittykitty Member [23%] MBTI: XXXX Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 921	I would say its highly doubtful that an INTJ would be naturally charismatic. I know that personally, I am decently charismatic, but it was a skill I had to work on, and it still requires a degree of thinking about before I can actually use it as oppose to something that comes easily.
wittykitty is offline post a comment

10-24-2009, 04:37 PM	#12
Autoptic Core Member [105%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 4,230	I've actually been called charming in some contexts. It's just an odd mood with an odd person. In a very different life, it may be more likely though still likely quite conditional. While quite differently than the above, I can do more than I do as I used to on many occasions years ago, which contributed to people missing the clinical depression and other issues at the time. It's just rarely worth the soul-suckingness and almost always requires multiple if not continuing applications. Making annoying people happy is annoying to infuriating. Making infuriating people happy breeds hate. Smiling ends up sardonic, and the experience leads to disgust, seething, and vitriol which I might manage to contain but will retain. I'd need sufficient compensation that mostly doesn't even exist, within a mostly impossible time frame. Last edited by Autoptic; 10-25-2009 at 03:41 PM.
Autoptic is offline post a comment

10-24-2009, 04:59 PM	#13
lincoln Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 127	Ya, for some reason I always ignite people's interest. I'm the teachers favorite (and I never meet with them after class or anything)..was really popular in school etc. I think it's really because I'm always myself and people notice that consistency. So, eventually they end up respecting me in time. It's also about being loving and intelligent with a touch of uniqueness....+ give me a minute and I'll make you laugh or whatever....I'm never tough with anyone unless they're being an ass, then no more smiles... but I can't understand the people who are so serious all the time..geez, never understood it..When you smile at them a little and they just stare at you.What's that all about?
lincoln is offline post a comment

10-24-2009, 07:32 PM	#14
t3hrubikscube Member [18%] MBTI: IxTJ Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 745	Anyone can work to become charismatic, so sure. I don't think that a lot of INTJs are naturally charismatic, though, but pretty much anyone can become charismatic if one so chooses to.
t3hrubikscube is offline post a comment

10-25-2009, 03:05 AM	#15
Samueza Member [20%] MBTI: iNtj Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 803	General note on this discussion: as far as I've seen charisma is deemed to be an ability which can either be innate or learned, yet the INTJ personality is axiomized to be natural. A more descriptive assessment would be how natural INTJ's relate to charisma, combined with the given question of how INTJ's relate to natural charisma. I take myself to be a formed INTJ who used to be an E. Charisma is not something I had to develop, which I think was part of my former E-ness. After I found that I proverbially have nothing in common with other people I learned to tone it down. No point in attracting people you don't want to attract. I do use charisma in the more formal situations I am comfortable with. And if I happen to be in a social situation anyway...
Samueza is offline post a comment

10-25-2009, 12:59 PM	#16
Jgib5328 Member [47%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 1,896	I'm not naturally charismatic in most contexts, but I have developed the skill through practice, such as being on the debate team, observing charismatic individuals, and just practicing.
Jgib5328 is offline post a comment

10-25-2009, 01:13 PM	#17
liquidzilla Member [10%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 411	I'd guess so seeing as I've been called charismatic at certain points by people. I'm guessing its to do with confidence as well as what functions are higher.
liquidzilla is offline post a comment

10-25-2009, 01:29 PM	#18
clockwatcher New Member [01%] MBTI: INTX Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 55	i'd say that i am naturally charismatic, although my natural charisma is of an awkward and almost childish sort. i've learned to hone it into a more accessible form, and i've come to find that people are pretty much putty when i decide to turn it on. however if you put me near anyone i find to be particularly interesting and/or gorgeous i will shut the fuck down. and when its off, its off. apparently i confuse people. i can see why though... one day at work all my coworkers may love me and another they may all be afraid to approach me. i think consistency is what i need to learn.
clockwatcher is offline post a comment

10-25-2009, 09:38 PM	#19
Silverity Core Member [274%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 10,995	I find my charisma is rather bullet-like. I'm extremely introverted, interactions with others wilt me pretty quickly. My answer to this problem is to "store up" my charisma and then kind of focus-fire it at people. I stay inside my own sweet little head for most sociable events but every now and then I see someone I want to get to know, and then I'll expend a bit more energy. And after I get to know someone well it's like exercising a muscle-- I don't feel drained and can be my natural citrusy sweet self.
Silverity is offline post a comment

10-25-2009, 09:57 PM	#20
Zhen Veteran Member [66%] MBTI: INfx Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 2,641	yep for all of about the first few minutes or 1 or 2 meetings and then social exhaustion sets in/novelty factor wears off...and I don't feel like talking anymore. If I had better social stamina and could be bothered, maybe.
Zhen is offline post a comment

10-26-2009, 06:34 AM	#21
ranwayslo Member [19%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 798	Even the people who don't like me hang around me and solicit my company. Is that charm? If so then I have it.
ranwayslo is offline post a comment

10-26-2009, 08:08 AM	#22
brecia Member [09%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 363	My sense of humor,my witty comments and sometimes my sarcasm make people drawn to me.I can be very cheery,very talkative and very convincing.But i feel like i'm faking,also it takes a lot of energy.Eventhough i prefer being invisible i am somehow in the center of attention. I know a person who i think definitely an INTJ.She never talks so much,she seeks solitude,she lives like from another universe actually.She also is obsessed with being self sufficient.Well, i'm too.However i find this girl boring and repulsive.I feel like she thinks she knows the things others can't know.Lets say my intuition about her.If i's like her i would have done something to change my personality,immediately. However i know that,if people bothers me, i make them know that they bothered me.If i'm angry,they know,if they hurt me ,they know.I reflect these.Other than this i'm known as well informed,witty,energetic,funny and smart.( along with cold,narcistic,emotionless and selfish,strange eh? ) I don't like bragging but people find me interesting.If it is with being an INTJ or not ,that i don't know.
brecia is offline post a comment

10-26-2009, 08:27 AM	#23
Third Eye Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 130	People at work often say the usual like I'm quiet or I'm shy. I just often let them think that I am that. They are often shocked when I do speak up to make a valid point. I have no problem speaking in front of people, especially when I am prepared. I think I do have some sort of natural charisma because I am often approached by people when out and about. Sometimes it can be annoying especially when I am relaxing or concentrating on something in my head. Often it is my weirdness that attracts some people. While my friends play pool (I hate pool) I'll go off and throw darts by myself and people will follow me to do this.
Third Eye is offline post a comment

10-26-2009, 04:43 PM	#24
thiagofralves Member [10%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 434	I don't think I'm charismatic on one on one situations. However, when speaking to a group I feel like I really grab their attention, maybe because I seem like very sure about what I'm talking about. I even managed to get away with some small lies in these situations to the point that people would defend me from anyone who thought I was lying.
thiagofralves is offline post a comment

10-27-2009, 01:22 AM	#25
Nightsun Member [14%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 575	I'm not naturally charismatic but charisma can be mimic and If I need something I can be very good at manipulating people minds. I call it "survival". My mother always said to me when I was young and rebel: "you must work inside the system if you want to crash it".
Nightsun is offline post a comment