How to tell someone you miss them?

**Therion** · 10-16-2009, 06:22 PM

What the topic says. I've thought about that question so much it's driving me crazy. I'm trying to think of a good way to genuinely say "I miss you" without sounding or coming off as a sissy or overly needy. I also want to avoid making the person on the receiving end feel like they are obligated to spend time with me.

It's been a week since I've seen the subject of the topic.. So I think a week is a pretty good amount of time too... *thinks*

**JohnDoe** · 10-16-2009, 06:23 PM

I miss you. (seriously)

**cannotseethe** · 10-16-2009, 06:26 PM

Oh, oh! I got it!

"I miss you."

There. Say that. It'll totally work!

**Therion** · 10-16-2009, 06:29 PM

Haha, okay, maybe I am overthinking.... it's probably confirmed at this point. XD

**JohnDoe** · 10-16-2009, 06:30 PM

	Originally Posted by Therion To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Haha, okay, maybe I am overthinking.... it's probably confirmed at this point. XD

Definately overthinking.

**Therion** · 10-16-2009, 06:33 PM

	Originally Posted by JohnDoe To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Definately overthinking.

Well.. at least now I know.

**Nikonman** · 10-16-2009, 06:57 PM

I go to this store called Hallmark. They sell cards. Everything from a few short words that let the person know you have been thinking of him or her, to cards that say "I'm going to kiss you from head to toe the next time I see you." I've found the right Hallmark card works well. I just bought 3 of them today (saves gas to stock up). My girlfriend just flew back into town tonight and is flying out again early in the morning, so I left one of those "missing you" cards on her porch today. Based on the call after she read it, the card worked as I hoped it would.

**Therion** · 10-16-2009, 07:01 PM

Originally Posted by Nikonman
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I go to this store called Hallmark. They sell cards. Everything from a few short words that let the person know you have been thinking of him or her, to cards that say "I'm going to kiss you from head to toe the next time I see you." I've found the right Hallmark card works well. I just bought 3 of them today (saves gas to stock up). My girlfriend just flew back into town tonight and is flying out again early in the morning, so I left one of those "missing you" cards on her porch today. Based on the call after she read it, the card worked as I hoped it would.

Dude! Nice idea.. I like that one. Simple, and the card does all the talking for me.

**magdalena** · 10-17-2009, 01:05 AM

Just pick one sensory thing-"I miss your [smell,sound of your voice...ahem..etc.]"

**Wintersun** · 10-17-2009, 05:55 AM

Nothing says "I miss you" like "I miss you".

That said, it's not healthy to attempt to compel someone to spend time with you. They ought to have sovereignty over their decisions.

**AlR** · 10-17-2009, 08:16 AM

Originally Posted by Therion
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

What the topic says. I've thought about that question so much it's driving me crazy. I'm trying to think of a good way to genuinely say "I miss you" without sounding or coming off as a sissy or overly needy. I also want to avoid making the person on the receiving end feel like they are obligated to spend time with me.

It's been a week since I've seen the subject of the topic.. So I think a week is a pretty good amount of time too... *thinks*

How about

"Things are better when you are around"

or

"Things were not as fun when you were gone"

**fluffy pillow** · 10-17-2009, 08:56 AM

	Originally Posted by AlR To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	How about "Things are better when you are around" or "Things were not as fun when you were gone"

no thats almost like saying your having less fun without her creating a dependence on her. hes trying to not make them feel like they are obligated, and the way your telling him to say makes it so.

(seriously keep this in mind).
remember girls like playful, confident and slightly assertive. anything you say and do that falls within that category its all good.

im not going to suggest any sentence for you too say to her because than you'll just say that line and it might come off as unnatural. just do what you do and flow with it in a creative and fun loving way.

**mayumi** · 10-18-2009, 03:34 AM

Originally Posted by fluffy pillow
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

no thats almost like saying your having less fun without her creating a dependence on her. hes trying to not make them feel like they are obligated, and the way your telling him to say makes it so.

(seriously keep this in mind).
remember girls like playful, confident and slightly assertive. anything you say and do that falls within that category its all good.

im not going to suggest any sentence for you too say to her because than you'll just say that line and it might come off as unnatural. just do what you do and flow with it in a creative and fun loving way.

A lover texted me everyday "I miss you, when you'll come back?" and other variations for 10 days until I got so annoyed I broke up with him over text. Even if some of his messages were cute like "Last night my soul went there and kissed your white tummy."

Be clever and cute, but be sparse. Aggressive does not work. Also, be thoughtful, ask 'how are you?" How's the food, are you eating well? ect." So much better than being cute.

**stiletto** · 10-18-2009, 03:47 AM

"I miss you." Brevity is really key in expressing feelings like this.

The other element is tone. A person can easily say it in a way that doesn't put others out. It's like offering a genuine compliment without expecting something else in return. Even if the person doesn't care to spend more time with you, they'll still be flattered that you want to spend more time with them. It's only fucking lame if someone does the whole emotional manipulation thing.

But a plain, truly felt statement, on it's own, and offered with respect for the other party is pretty hard to take any other way.

**ranwayslo** · 10-19-2009, 02:39 AM

I like: "I keep missing you, but I'm working my aim."

Seriously though the best is the I missed you so much followed up with a sincere hug.

About hugs: Nothing says you have my complete and undivided attention like a good hug.

**Lil** · 10-20-2009, 07:14 PM

Are you talking about saying it to someone over the phone or something in anticipation of y'all getting together? IOW are you asking how to say, "I miss you and I want to see you"?

Or are you talking about when you see the person, letting them know that you've missed them and you're glad to be with them?

In the latter case, you can say with emphasis, "It's REALLY good to see you." I have a friend who says (as he hugs you), "I've been missing you." It's a nice way of putting it.

If you're saying it as part of an invitation to get together, you can smear it around and make it less specific by saying, "I miss talking to you-- I enjoy our conversations so much!" or something like that.

To let someone know that you appreciate them and enjoy their company is NOT needy; it's quite flattering.

In grade school we have to pretend we don't like people. But as adults we can let them know that we like them. People LIKE to be liked.

**JustMel** · 10-20-2009, 07:17 PM

Yeah, you're over thinking. A simple, "I was thinking of you. I miss you." is sufficient.

I used to be horrible at telling my husband I missed him when I was away on business. (Imagine that, an INTJ who didn't express emotions) until he asked me once, "do you miss me at all". I told him of course I missed him and the kids too and wanted to be at home. He said "why don't you ever tell me you miss me?" Duh, it didn't occur to me. I knew he missed me and thought he knew I missed him. Now I make sure to tell him regardless of which of us is out of town.

**hippiechic** · 10-20-2009, 08:15 PM

"I miss you"

Simple, to the point, the truth and very much appreciated.

Don't overthink what you feel.

**hubcap** · 10-20-2009, 08:48 PM

Dude, seriously, just say "I miss you".

Do we need to make a checklist for stuff this simple?

**jndiii** · 10-20-2009, 08:49 PM

	Originally Posted by JustMel To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Yeah, you're over thinking. A simple, "I was thinking of you. I miss you." is sufficient.

How about

"I was overthinking of you. I miss you."

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

**JaneEyre** · 10-22-2009, 11:45 AM

my intj said "I miss the hell out of you" and that really struck a chord with me...

**Therion** · 10-22-2009, 12:31 PM

	Originally Posted by jndiii To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	How about "I was overthinking of you. I miss you." To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Hahahaha... I like that one.... XD

Therion added to this post, 0 minutes and 46 seconds later...

	Originally Posted by hubcap To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Dude, seriously, just say "I miss you". Do we need to make a checklist for stuff this simple?

Most likely we do. Sometimes the simplest, most basic things are
the ones we forget.. or forget to remember. I'm really bad at expressing
simple, basic feelings.

**Shorgenfunkel** · 10-22-2009, 03:15 PM

Link her to this thread.

**erh** · 10-22-2009, 03:17 PM

	Originally Posted by magdalena To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Just pick one sensory thing-"I miss your [smell,sound of your voice...ahem..etc.]"

I like this one the best! I am having the same problem... I feel if I blatantly say "I miss you" that I will come across as needy.

**Wintersun** · 10-25-2009, 12:50 AM

	Originally Posted by Shorgenfunkel To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Link her to this thread.

Agreed. She'd find out firsthand just how much you care - even enough to ask random strangers on the Internet for advice.

10-16-2009, 06:22 PM	#1
Therion Member [14%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 594	What the topic says. I've thought about that question so much it's driving me crazy. I'm trying to think of a good way to genuinely say "I miss you" without sounding or coming off as a sissy or overly needy. I also want to avoid making the person on the receiving end feel like they are obligated to spend time with me. It's been a week since I've seen the subject of the topic.. So I think a week is a pretty good amount of time too... thinks
Therion is offline post a comment

10-16-2009, 06:23 PM	#2
JohnDoe Core Member [130%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 5,204	I miss you. (seriously)
JohnDoe is offline post a comment

10-16-2009, 06:26 PM	#3
cannotseethe Core Member [309%] MBTI: eXXX Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 12,385	Oh, oh! I got it! "I miss you." There. Say that. It'll totally work!
cannotseethe is offline post a comment

10-16-2009, 06:29 PM	#4
Therion Member [14%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 594	Haha, okay, maybe I am overthinking.... it's probably confirmed at this point. XD
Therion is offline post a comment

10-16-2009, 06:57 PM	#7
Nikonman Member [18%] MBTI: IxTJ Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 727	I go to this store called Hallmark. They sell cards. Everything from a few short words that let the person know you have been thinking of him or her, to cards that say "I'm going to kiss you from head to toe the next time I see you." I've found the right Hallmark card works well. I just bought 3 of them today (saves gas to stock up). My girlfriend just flew back into town tonight and is flying out again early in the morning, so I left one of those "missing you" cards on her porch today. Based on the call after she read it, the card worked as I hoped it would.
Nikonman is offline post a comment

10-17-2009, 01:05 AM	#9
magdalena New Member [01%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 50	Just pick one sensory thing-"I miss your [smell,sound of your voice...ahem..etc.]"
magdalena is offline post a comment

10-17-2009, 05:55 AM	#10
Wintersun Member [08%] MBTI: IxTx Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 339	Nothing says "I miss you" like "I miss you". That said, it's not healthy to attempt to compel someone to spend time with you. They ought to have sovereignty over their decisions.
Wintersun is offline post a comment

10-18-2009, 03:47 AM	#14
stiletto Member [09%] MBTI: INtJ Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 392	"I miss you." Brevity is really key in expressing feelings like this. The other element is tone. A person can easily say it in a way that doesn't put others out. It's like offering a genuine compliment without expecting something else in return. Even if the person doesn't care to spend more time with you, they'll still be flattered that you want to spend more time with them. It's only fucking lame if someone does the whole emotional manipulation thing. But a plain, truly felt statement, on it's own, and offered with respect for the other party is pretty hard to take any other way.
stiletto is offline post a comment

10-19-2009, 02:39 AM	#15
ranwayslo Member [19%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 798	I like: "I keep missing you, but I'm working my aim." Seriously though the best is the I missed you so much followed up with a sincere hug. About hugs: Nothing says you have my complete and undivided attention like a good hug.
ranwayslo is offline post a comment

10-20-2009, 07:14 PM	#16
Lil Member [09%] MBTI: INFP Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 389	Are you talking about saying it to someone over the phone or something in anticipation of y'all getting together? IOW are you asking how to say, "I miss you and I want to see you"? Or are you talking about when you see the person, letting them know that you've missed them and you're glad to be with them? In the latter case, you can say with emphasis, "It's REALLY good to see you." I have a friend who says (as he hugs you), "I've been missing you." It's a nice way of putting it. If you're saying it as part of an invitation to get together, you can smear it around and make it less specific by saying, "I miss talking to you-- I enjoy our conversations so much!" or something like that. To let someone know that you appreciate them and enjoy their company is NOT needy; it's quite flattering. In grade school we have to pretend we don't like people. But as adults we can let them know that we like them. People LIKE to be liked.
Lil is offline post a comment

10-20-2009, 07:17 PM	#17
JustMel Core Member [422%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 16,891	Yeah, you're over thinking. A simple, "I was thinking of you. I miss you." is sufficient. I used to be horrible at telling my husband I missed him when I was away on business. (Imagine that, an INTJ who didn't express emotions) until he asked me once, "do you miss me at all". I told him of course I missed him and the kids too and wanted to be at home. He said "why don't you ever tell me you miss me?" Duh, it didn't occur to me. I knew he missed me and thought he knew I missed him. Now I make sure to tell him regardless of which of us is out of town.
JustMel is offline post a comment

10-20-2009, 08:15 PM	#18
hippiechic New Member [01%] MBTI: ENFJ Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 27	"I miss you" Simple, to the point, the truth and very much appreciated. Don't overthink what you feel.
hippiechic is offline post a comment

10-20-2009, 08:48 PM	#19
hubcap Veteran Member [73%] MBTI: ENTJ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 2,920	Dude, seriously, just say "I miss you". Do we need to make a checklist for stuff this simple?
hubcap is offline post a comment

10-22-2009, 11:45 AM	#21
JaneEyre New Member [01%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 16	my intj said "I miss the hell out of you" and that really struck a chord with me...
JaneEyre is offline post a comment

10-22-2009, 03:15 PM	#23
Shorgenfunkel Member [37%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,482	Link her to this thread.
Shorgenfunkel is offline post a comment