[MixISTJandINTJ]

last night while thinking (i'm sure many of you know what i mean
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), i came to the idea (
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) to become an intj who ultimately reverses destiny (an intj life) and becomes a full ESFP.
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<-- because my INTJ life was causing alone and depression, NOT GOOD

what steps could i take to complete this transformation? so far these ideas were prominent under two categories:

temporary:
1. get CBT therapy and maybe the right food and medical prescription/supplement

permanent:
1. recognize INTJ qualities and behaviors (such as using the internet or reading) and replace them with more ESFP life
2. COMEDY
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[Jgib5328]

It's impossible. I don't know what your knowledge is of personality theory, psychology, or neurology is, but it seems limited. There are certain personality traits that you are born with. You are born introverted, and introverted person has a different brain structure than an extrovert, so in order to get the E component of an ESFP, you'd have to get brain surgery that doesn't exist. Some other aspects of your personality may be flexible, I think the F/T component is and maybe the P/J, but it's not easy to consciously change, something has to happen to you.

With that being said, you can act like an ESFP. Go to parties, talk all of the time, think with your emotions, and not discount for the future or be organized, but this will all be fake. You will only act as someone who is different, you will never be different. Who you are now is who you will always be. You won't be exactly the same, but your base personality always will be. As you get older, you will develop more traits, but this is just a higher stage of development for your base personality. IE INTJs in their mid-late 20s start developing their Fi component, which slightly changes their personality. Their base personality is still the same, but they have just developed a new component.

Deal with it. Right now you are an INTJ and you will always be an INTJ. Nothing you can do will ever change it, so accept it. You are the opposite of an ESFP and will always be that way, nothing will change. No matter how much you act like an ESFP, it will still always be an act and nothing more. If you want to be more social and outgoing then go hang out with more people and talk more. Just because you aren't an ESFP doesn't mean that you can't be outgoing too. I doesn't equate shyness or reservedness, it just means that you draw energy from within. Some Is are very outgoing, e.g I can be very outgoing sometimes if I'm in the right mood.

You shouldn't be ashamed of being an INTJ, in my subjective opinion it is the best type. Key word is subjective, but the INTJ is an amazing type and the more you develop yourself, the more you'll see that.

[pavman]

	Originally Posted by Jgib5328 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	... but the INTJ is an amazing type and the more you develop yourself, the more you'll see that.

Some might even say its the best type
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I do disagree to an extent. We choose who we are. We may not be able to naturally be an E, but I bet we can emulate it. And if you emulate it long enough until it becomes natural, then you will have modified your personality and the I vs E part of yourself.

I for one would never be able to trust people enough to become an E, but who knows...maybe some day.

[Santana28]

become a pastor in an evangelical christian church?
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[Jgib5328]

Originally Posted by pavman To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Some might even say its the best type To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I do disagree to an extent. We choose who we are. We may not be able to naturally be an E, but I bet we can emulate it. And if you emulate it long enough until it becomes natural, then you will have modified your personality and the I vs E part of yourself. I for one would never be able to trust people enough to become an E, but who knows...maybe some day.

You can't ever be an E, but you can become gregarious, social, outgoing etc. Extrovert at it's base terms just means that you draw energy from other people. It's impossible for an introvert to do that.

[rwyatt365]

...become a used car salesman?

[vkut79]

Thanks for the excellent post, Jgib5328. It seems to me that a big problem for a lot of INTJs, especially younger ones, is that they don't learn to accept their real personality and are driven by social pressures to adopt a personality that is more the social "average", which INTJ clearly is not. This often results in lowered self-esteem and unhappiness. Like you say, changing personality is simply not realistic. They need to realize that social pressure shouldn't dictate how they live their lives.

[pavman]

	Originally Posted by Jgib5328 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	You can't ever be an E, but you can become gregarious, social, outgoing etc. Extrovert at it's base terms just means that you draw energy from other people. It's impossible for an introvert to do that.

Actually, I do draw energy from other people, especially when I lead.... I get kind of zanny when I'm around people I know, and I think it makes me look like an ass, but I don't mind.

Perhaps I'm borderline I/E...

[iamnotspock]

Take Prozac. Or another SSRI. Even St. John's Wort works.

I've done it and I got to see "the other side". It was interesting. But I am back to where I belong.

[Jgib5328]

	Originally Posted by pavman To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Actually, I do draw energy from other people, especially when I lead.... I get kind of zanny when I'm around people I know, and I think it makes me look like an ass, but I don't mind. Perhaps I'm borderline I/E...

I mean every introvert draws energy from people in certain circumstances, unless they are 100% I, which isn't possible in the real world. Some people score that on tests, but that doesn't mean anything. I'm like 65/35 I so I mean I have some extroverted traits too.

[Alpha Prime]

You need to learn more social skills, not transform yourself.

[vkut79]

Its actually really simple, do what you FEEL like doing. Its that simple. Forget about what other people tell you to do (unless you're a kid). If you consider yourself an INTJ and you feel lonely and depressed, then go and be social! Just because you consider yourself an INTJ doesn't mean you have to live a solitary life. That's a bad idea. Every INTJ needs some social interaction to be at their happiest level. Don't think about personality theory as a confining sort of system of what you should or should not do, it merely helps explain your natural tendencies. What it all comes down to is doing what you feel like doing, following your heart, etc. (not in the emotional sense, in the sense that you feel content, satisfied with doing something).

[ElstonGunn]

	Originally Posted by MixISTJandINTJ To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	2. COMEDY To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

And on that note... Step 3: Act like an annoying jerk.
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I'm kidding, of course. ...mostly.

One thing to remember is that a lot of psychology, especially MBTI, is essentially theory, rather than law. If you want to change who you are, go for it. It'll probably be difficult, but I can't tell you what you are able to do.

If nothing else, think of it as a bunch skills that can be learned, with enough time and practice-- particularly the sociability that tends to go along with being an E.

And if it turns out that living like an ESFP sucks, come back here, and I'll try to keep the "I told you so"s to a minimum.
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[vkut79]

The basic personality traits - like extrovertedness - can't be learned.

[Zilal]

Oh, my goodness. Don't worry about being ESFP. Heck, don't worry about MBTI, or introversion, at all. Just worry about the loneliness. CBT definitely a good idea. What you want isn't extremes, but a slow transition to being a healthier version of yourself.

[coffeeloverfreak]

You don't have to become an ESFP. But I think what you're talking about is developing your less developed functions to become a more well-rounded and balanced human being.

If you're a strong introvert, you can work on the root causes and try to become more comfortable around people. You may never prefer extroversion, but you might deal with it better over time.

If you're a strong intuitive, you can work on your Se by trying to pay more attention to detail and your surroundings, and making an effort to live more in the here and now. It doesn't mean you'll ever prefer this, but you can definitely get better at it.

If your preference for thinking is strong, you can work to develop your tertiary Fi, which usually happens with maturity for most INTJs anyway. Just trying to pay more attention to the feelings of those around you, and trying to get more in touch with your own feelings about things, can make you healthier over time. It doesn't mean you'll ever decide completely with your heart instead of your head, but you can learn to take feelings into account.

And if you're a strong J, you can try to be more impulsive, consider more possibilities, and don't rush to decisions so quickly. You may always feel more comfortable when you have things settled and decided, but you can work on trying to be more open to possibilities.

None of this will turn you into an ESFP. But it can turn you into a healthier, more well-rounded INTJ. As I've pointed out on other threads, your MBTI type measures your preference but not necessarily your aptitude in these areas. So while your preference may not change, you can increase your aptitude in your less preferred functions.

[OneHertz]

Alcohol is a good antidote

[MixISTJandINTJ]

Thanks for the replies guys! I'm mostly just NOT FEELING GOOD. lonely. sad. too day-dreamy. whatever you wanna call it, it's not good. the intj, whatever talk is just a distraction!

CBT and professionals will definitely help. also actually saying my words while typing here makes it feel a lot more social rather than reading them in my head and typing back without moving my lips at all!

[Joes Pizza]

Hello, Brand new here but this is a converstion i'd like to enter in to.

To solve some of the loneliness,well, find something you like.
If you are not sure what that is, then try a bunch of things.

Martial Arts did it for me.
Heck, even just saying that is bringing a smile to my face.
I think Martial Arts is a science of economy of motion and teaching has brought out a completely different person in me.
The teaching experience was amazing because it taught me more than the actual classes ever did by forcing me to go back to my instructor and ask enough questions to heighten my understanding of what a certain angle or motion is used to achieve.

Ug rambling about something i enjoy.

Most senses of loneliness or "bad" feelings are usually brought about by my not listening to my gut about things.
Might help if you listen to your instincts a bit more and trust them, even if they are telling you to try things that those around you have told you will not work.
It's often the case that whatever,well, my instincts tell me to do are right, even if it doesn't give me the result i desired.

That's where the persistence comes in and my intsincts and mind tell me to try another method.
First isn't always a winner,but the process opens up new understandings that i had yet to know.
Anyway, this is simply what works for me.
Hopefully it'll help.

[elsdfr]

Check your diet is good (fish and red beans etc.) and get some exercise. Get out of the house if you can... primary causes of basic depression.

As others said you can't change who you really are. You would just be learning other skills which you can use when you need to, kinda like being multiskilled for a job I guess
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[Jgib5328]

	Originally Posted by MixISTJandINTJ To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Thanks for the replies guys! I'm mostly just NOT FEELING GOOD. lonely. sad. too day-dreamy. whatever you wanna call it, it's not good. the intj, whatever talk is just a distraction! CBT and professionals will definitely help. also actually saying my words while typing here makes it feel a lot more social rather than reading them in my head and typing back without moving my lips at all!

Dude you're just depressed. I was depressed once too. The only way to get out of it, is to stop feeling badly about yourself and get over it. If there is something that you really want that you like, than take it. Nobody is going to give it to you. Not many people are going to come up to you and ask to be friends. If you want friends then find them. Wishing you were different isn't going to help anything. It's just going to make you feel even more pathetic. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, fix yourself. Most happy people are people who chase after what they want and get it. You need to do the same.

[Zilal]

Yes, I think coming here and talking about it is probably a good thing. Often when we're feeling really crappy it feels like we need to do something desperate to overturn it, but we usually just need to keep going in the direction we're going in.

Remember that even loneliness itself isn't bad, I mean, it's a natural feeling. And you can tolerate it. But feeling so disconnected from other people for a long time has a huge impact on quality of life, so keep taking those steps to make it better.

[Agile]

	Originally Posted by pavman To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I do disagree to an extent. We choose who we are. We may not be able to naturally be an E, but I bet we can emulate it. And if you emulate it long enough until it becomes natural, then you will have modified your personality and the I vs E part of yourself. I for one would never be able to trust people enough to become an E, but who knows...maybe some day.

Completely agree. Who we end up as is both chance and choice.

	Originally Posted by Jgib5328 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	You can't ever be an E, but you can become gregarious, social, outgoing etc. Extrovert at it's base terms just means that you draw energy from other people. It's impossible for an introvert to do that.

I think we draw energy (all of us) from our automatic responses. Pretty much once you learn something and have it down it can run from the background, freeing up your brain to handle other things. How else can people drive and talk on the phone, change the radio station, etc, and still pay attention to what's going on, on the road.

Note: I am not referring to people who change the radio station and swerve the car, or who speed through school zones/make unsafe driving moves while talking on the phone. Clearly these take their minds off the road to do other things. There are, however, some of us gifted souls
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who are capable of driving the car safely while doing something else at the same time.

The harder we have to work to keep up with what's going on in our environment, the more energy/attention we use.

If you do not have it down, your mind runs actively and thus causes you to not be in the moment, think too much, experience sensory overload, etc. Of course you would feel drained after such an experience, and need to recharge. But by increasing your competency at the activity, it becomes easier for you, you therefore use less energy and get better results, and then, something happens, where you are no longer 'working at what you are doing' and instead you are effortlessly doing it. At this level it becomes a part of your creative expression. This is where we draw energy from what we are doing, IMO.

It also explains how an extrovert, a very upbeat partying people person, could then concentrate and be a prolific writer or an expert programmer, and vice versa, (and not feel drained by the activity, and view it as 'work').

Choosing one over the other becomes a matter of preference, versus a matter of necessity. This, I think, is the key factor that the rigid introvert/extrovert category overlooks.

This does not apply to everyone. Some people prefer to apply the preference for their particular function, without acknowledging the skill level and attention part of the equation. I think if you believe you are hard coded to see chatting with others as work, then that's how you see it, no one can change it but you yourself. And with that perspective...well, how could you possibly draw energy from something, regardless of hwo easy it is. If you flat out do not like it, you will just get bored once it becomes easy.

[Jgib5328]

Originally Posted by Agile To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Completely agree. Who we end up as is both chance and choice. I think we draw energy (all of us) from our automatic responses. Pretty much once you learn something and have it down it can run from the background, freeing up your brain to handle other things. How else can people drive and talk on the phone, change the radio station, etc, and still pay attention to what's going on, on the road. Note: I am not referring to people who change the radio station and swerve the car, or who speed through school zones/make unsafe driving moves while talking on the phone. Clearly these take their minds off the road to do other things. There are, however, some of us gifted souls To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. who are capable of driving the car safely while doing something else at the same time. The harder we have to work to keep up with what's going on in our environment, the more energy/attention we use. If you do not have it down, your mind runs actively and thus causes you to not be in the moment, think too much, experience sensory overload, etc. Of course you would feel drained after such an experience, and need to recharge. But by increasing your competency at the activity, it becomes easier for you, you therefore use less energy and get better results, and then, something happens, where you are no longer 'working at what you are doing' and instead you are effortlessly doing it. At this level it becomes a part of your creative expression. This is where we draw energy from what we are doing, IMO. It also explains how an extrovert, a very upbeat partying people person, could then concentrate and be a prolific writer or an expert programmer, and vice versa, (and not feel drained by the activity, and view it as 'work'). Choosing one over the other becomes a matter of preference, versus a matter of necessity. This, I think, is the key factor that the rigid introvert/extrovert category overlooks. This does not apply to everyone. Some people prefer to apply the preference for their particular function, without acknowledging the skill level and attention part of the equation. I think if you believe you are hard coded to see chatting with others as work, then that's how you see it, no one can change it but you yourself. And with that perspective...well, how could you possibly draw energy from something, regardless of hwo easy it is. If you flat out do not like it, you will just get bored once it becomes easy.

I'm sorry but you are wrong. You can't just wish that your brain was structured differently. An E and an I have different brain structures. You cannot overcome this. It isn't just a simple matter of some people being shy, while others are more social. It's about how your brain operates. Like I've already said, you can become social and more outgoing through repetition, but you can't restructure your brain. Your analogy about the car isn't really relevant and besides, talking on the phone or to a person in the car and changing your radio station whilst driving is one of the leading causes of non-alcohol induced car accidents. If you think your opinion is right while science is wrong, go ahead. You'll be wasting your time trying to be something that is impossible to be. Live with being an introvert, it isn't too bad.

[MNRon]

When did being an INTJ become a disease to be cured? One may need to deal with related issues (depression, introversion, fear of social settings) but that is a far cry from seeking an "antidote," I'd say.

When I was a college prof there were always well meaning student life people trying to coax quiet, introspective types "out of their shells," as though quietness was a malady. Let us just say, the psych prof and I "had words" with the student life people!

You may have mental/physical/emotional/shortcomings, but INTJness is not one of them!