corrupt a wish - Page 589

**wrongjargon** · 06-06-2012, 12:32 PM

^^Granted. You have a lifetime supply of oatmeal.

^ Granted. Your personal assistant is now
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I wish we can save all endangered species.

**DeepThought** · 06-06-2012, 12:53 PM

Granted, but they can no longer survive in the wild and there was no room in the zoo, so it was unanimously decided in your absence that they should live in your bedroom. It was your idea after all.

I wish all the major religions promoted safe, responsible free love.

**QuantumEnigma** · 06-06-2012, 08:06 PM

Granted. Each religion mails you a lovely personalized certificate saying you are now free to love God in a safe, responsible manner.

I wish that it was possible to "do over" one day each year, user's choice.

**DeepThought** · 06-07-2012, 07:14 AM

Granted. All your enemies decide to do over the day they individually beat you up in a dark alley. You get beaten senseless over and over and over ....

I wish to secretly possess the worlds only money tree.

**MrControll** · 06-07-2012, 11:37 AM

Granted. Unfortunately, it is a miniature tree made out pennies. It is only worth about $3.48. Also: no, it doesn't grow at all.

I wish I had a better tv.

**wrongjargon** · 06-07-2012, 11:59 AM

Granted. An image is burned on the screen. It is a scene in 2 girls 1 cup.

I wish I had the fastest Internet connection in the world.

**DeepThought** · 06-07-2012, 12:17 PM

Granted, but it's connected directly to your brain and you can't shut it off.

I wish to own a flying car.

**MrControll** · 06-07-2012, 12:19 PM

Granted. But you can't control its altitude. Every time you drive it, you risk crashing into everything.

I wish for a jet pack

**wrongjargon** · 06-07-2012, 12:20 PM

^^ Granted. It flies by giant slingshot. You get a helmet too. Safety first.

^ Granted. Fuel prices skyrocket. Get it? Amirite? Nyahaha.

I wish I could sleep just by wanting to.

**DeepThought** · 06-07-2012, 12:23 PM

^^Granted, but it's extremely unstable. With every flight you run the a very real risk of spontaneously blowing up.

^Granted, but you develop an addiction and eventually lapse into a permanent state of coma.

I wish to live in my very own James-Bond-villain-type secret, evil lair.

**MrControll** · 06-07-2012, 12:25 PM

Granted, but it is blown up every couple weeks. The repair crew aren't very good at keeping secrets.

I wish Renewable energy was more sustainable

**DeepThought** · 06-07-2012, 02:38 PM

Granted, you and everyone else must now submit to riding a electricity generating stationary bikes at least 8 hours a day to power our cities and places of business. Let's just say you aren't the most popular person around.

I wish my life was interesting enough to make into a #1 movie.

**wrongjargon** · 06-07-2012, 02:42 PM

Granted. You are now Napoleon Dynamite.

I wish I had an unlimited pass to the cinemas.

**DeepThought** · 06-07-2012, 02:51 PM

Granted, but the only theater you can use your pass is in Mogadishu, Somalia.

I wish to be the inventor of the most successful product in all of human history.

**wrongjargon** · 06-07-2012, 03:13 PM

Granted. You invented the toilet.

I wish I knew if we were all plugged into the Matrix.

**DeepThought** · 06-07-2012, 03:17 PM

Granted. You took the red pill, but you are not The One and Zion is about the fall.

I wish my skin was impervious to injury.

**wrongjargon** · 06-07-2012, 03:19 PM

Granted. Your skin also loses all its ability to perceive any sensation, always feeling numb.

I wish I could talk to animals.

**DeepThought** · 06-07-2012, 03:27 PM

Granted, you are now kept away day and night with their inane chatter.

I wish I could drink all I wanted while having no more affect than a pleasant buzz with no hangover.

**MikeAZ** · 06-07-2012, 06:55 PM

Granted, hoever you can't eat.

Wish I had a 64 Impala

**MrControll** · 06-07-2012, 06:59 PM

Granted. Except there was a grammatical error, and you end up with 64 African relatives of the deer living in the back yard now.

I wish my car wasn't crap.

**MikeAZ** · 06-07-2012, 07:05 PM

Granted, but is wrapped by something I edited.

I wish I was better with grammar.

**DeepThought** · 06-07-2012, 07:10 PM

Granted, but now even the slightest grammatical transgression by others causes you to spasm uncontrollably in rage.

I wish all iches were instantaneously scratched to my satisfaction automatically.

**MikeAZ** · 06-07-2012, 07:12 PM

Granted you get leprosy.

I wish I could have kids

**DeepThought** · 06-07-2012, 07:21 PM

Granted. Every woman you've ever slept with or looked at longingly is now pregnant with your child and each are suing you for child support.

I wish I could actually remember the small things that others seem to think is important.

**stealthfighter** · 06-07-2012, 11:31 PM

Granted, you are constantly seeing lost keys even in sleep.

I wish the world could go on with just one season.

06-06-2012, 12:32 PM	#14701
wrongjargon Member [12%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 502	^^Granted. You have a lifetime supply of oatmeal. ^ Granted. Your personal assistant is now To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. . I wish we can save all endangered species.
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06-06-2012, 12:53 PM	#14702
DeepThought Core Member [254%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 10,183	Granted, but they can no longer survive in the wild and there was no room in the zoo, so it was unanimously decided in your absence that they should live in your bedroom. It was your idea after all. I wish all the major religions promoted safe, responsible free love.
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06-06-2012, 08:06 PM	#14703
QuantumEnigma Member [12%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 487	Granted. Each religion mails you a lovely personalized certificate saying you are now free to love God in a safe, responsible manner. I wish that it was possible to "do over" one day each year, user's choice.
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06-07-2012, 07:14 AM	#14704
DeepThought Core Member [254%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 10,183	Granted. All your enemies decide to do over the day they individually beat you up in a dark alley. You get beaten senseless over and over and over .... I wish to secretly possess the worlds only money tree.
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06-07-2012, 11:37 AM	#14705
MrControll Member [19%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 776	Granted. Unfortunately, it is a miniature tree made out pennies. It is only worth about $3.48. Also: no, it doesn't grow at all. I wish I had a better tv.
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06-07-2012, 11:59 AM	#14706
wrongjargon Member [12%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 502	Granted. An image is burned on the screen. It is a scene in 2 girls 1 cup. I wish I had the fastest Internet connection in the world.
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06-07-2012, 12:17 PM	#14707
DeepThought Core Member [254%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 10,183	Granted, but it's connected directly to your brain and you can't shut it off. I wish to own a flying car.
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06-07-2012, 12:19 PM	#14708
MrControll Member [19%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 776	Granted. But you can't control its altitude. Every time you drive it, you risk crashing into everything. I wish for a jet pack
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06-07-2012, 12:20 PM	#14709
wrongjargon Member [12%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 502	^^ Granted. It flies by giant slingshot. You get a helmet too. Safety first. ^ Granted. Fuel prices skyrocket. Get it? Amirite? Nyahaha. I wish I could sleep just by wanting to.
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06-07-2012, 12:23 PM	#14710
DeepThought Core Member [254%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 10,183	^^Granted, but it's extremely unstable. With every flight you run the a very real risk of spontaneously blowing up. ^Granted, but you develop an addiction and eventually lapse into a permanent state of coma. I wish to live in my very own James-Bond-villain-type secret, evil lair.
DeepThought is offline post a comment

06-07-2012, 12:25 PM	#14711
MrControll Member [19%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 776	Granted, but it is blown up every couple weeks. The repair crew aren't very good at keeping secrets. I wish Renewable energy was more sustainable
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06-07-2012, 02:38 PM	#14712
DeepThought Core Member [254%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 10,183	Granted, you and everyone else must now submit to riding a electricity generating stationary bikes at least 8 hours a day to power our cities and places of business. Let's just say you aren't the most popular person around. I wish my life was interesting enough to make into a #1 movie.
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06-07-2012, 02:42 PM	#14713
wrongjargon Member [12%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 502	Granted. You are now Napoleon Dynamite. I wish I had an unlimited pass to the cinemas.
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06-07-2012, 02:51 PM	#14714
DeepThought Core Member [254%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 10,183	Granted, but the only theater you can use your pass is in Mogadishu, Somalia. I wish to be the inventor of the most successful product in all of human history.
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06-07-2012, 03:13 PM	#14715
wrongjargon Member [12%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 502	Granted. You invented the toilet. I wish I knew if we were all plugged into the Matrix.
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06-07-2012, 03:17 PM	#14716
DeepThought Core Member [254%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 10,183	Granted. You took the red pill, but you are not The One and Zion is about the fall. I wish my skin was impervious to injury.
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06-07-2012, 03:19 PM	#14717
wrongjargon Member [12%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 502	Granted. Your skin also loses all its ability to perceive any sensation, always feeling numb. I wish I could talk to animals.
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06-07-2012, 03:27 PM	#14718
DeepThought Core Member [254%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 10,183	Granted, you are now kept away day and night with their inane chatter. I wish I could drink all I wanted while having no more affect than a pleasant buzz with no hangover.
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06-07-2012, 06:55 PM	#14719
MikeAZ Member [27%] MBTI: INtJ Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 1,112	Granted, hoever you can't eat. Wish I had a 64 Impala
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06-07-2012, 06:59 PM	#14720
MrControll Member [19%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 776	Granted. Except there was a grammatical error, and you end up with 64 African relatives of the deer living in the back yard now. I wish my car wasn't crap.
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06-07-2012, 07:05 PM	#14721
MikeAZ Member [27%] MBTI: INtJ Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 1,112	Granted, but is wrapped by something I edited. I wish I was better with grammar.
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06-07-2012, 07:10 PM	#14722
DeepThought Core Member [254%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 10,183	Granted, but now even the slightest grammatical transgression by others causes you to spasm uncontrollably in rage. I wish all iches were instantaneously scratched to my satisfaction automatically.
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06-07-2012, 07:12 PM	#14723
MikeAZ Member [27%] MBTI: INtJ Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 1,112	Granted you get leprosy. I wish I could have kids
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06-07-2012, 07:21 PM	#14724
DeepThought Core Member [254%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 10,183	Granted. Every woman you've ever slept with or looked at longingly is now pregnant with your child and each are suing you for child support. I wish I could actually remember the small things that others seem to think is important.
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06-07-2012, 11:31 PM	#14725
stealthfighter Veteran Member [86%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 3,450	Granted, you are constantly seeing lost keys even in sleep. I wish the world could go on with just one season.
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