corrupt a wish - Page 468

**venuspop** · 07-12-2011, 11:08 PM

Granted. They introduce poisoned lances.

I wish time stood still whenever I'm angry.

**IronSulfide** · 07-13-2011, 04:24 AM

Granted, you have frozen time forever.

I wish that trees didn't shed their leaves in winter.

**BirdsOfAFeather** · 07-13-2011, 08:19 AM

Granted. You just wasted a perfectly good wish wishing for evergreens. We already have those.

I wish that food would magically appear if I wanted it to.

**IronSulfide** · 07-13-2011, 09:38 AM

Granted, but the magically conjured food is always a bowl of thin gruel garnished with a dead fly floating upside down on the surface.

I wish that I had perfect eyesight.

thebrainpolice · 07-13-2011, 03:13 PM

Granted, you can now use your perfect eyesight to watch the video from The Ring.

I wish I had a cold beer right now.

**DeepThought** · 07-13-2011, 03:30 PM

Granted, but then a leprechaun appeared and snatched it from your hands just before disappearing with a evil laugh.

I wish my clients never complained and were always agreeable in their dealings with me.

**IronSulfide** · 07-13-2011, 03:33 PM

Granted, your clients are all Scientologists who are courting you as a potential convert.

I wish that sugar was a universal cure for all diseases.

**DeepThought** · 07-13-2011, 03:46 PM

Granted, but tooth decay takes on epidemic proportions. FYI: You really should get your teeth looked at, that can't be healthy.

I wish my monitor always adjusted to the perfect viewing height automatically.

**IronSulfide** · 07-13-2011, 03:53 PM

Granted, but it continues doing so even when you no longer want to use the computer, stretching and contorting impossibly as it stalks you throughout your day, remaining always in front of your eyes and blocking your vision.

I wish that scientists would invent SPF infinity sunscreen.

thebrainpolice · 07-13-2011, 05:06 PM

That's already been done. Congratulations, you are now covered in tar.

I wish my puppy would stop pissing all over my house and chewing my stuff.

**IronSulfide** · 07-13-2011, 05:08 PM

Granted, instead he poops on your face while you sleep.

I wish that I was immune to flu and cold viruses.

thebrainpolice · 07-13-2011, 05:19 PM

Granted, those viruses have now mutated and you have the super flu.

I wish that Sarah Palin never becomes President.

**IronSulfide** · 07-13-2011, 05:43 PM

Granted, Sarah Palin gets run over by her own campaign truck and is therefore replaced by Bristol Palin, who becomes president.

I wish that Antarctica was suitable for human habitation.

thebrainpolice · 07-13-2011, 05:50 PM

Granted, all the snow and ice in Antarctica has melted causing sea levels to rise. Now all of the world's coastal cities are underwater.

I wish there would be a clean, vacant port-a-potty nearby every time I need to relieve myself.

**IronSulfide** · 07-13-2011, 06:00 PM

Granted, but unfortunately it is always locked.

I wish that I had eyes in the back of my head.

**venuspop** · 07-13-2011, 10:39 PM

Granted. You lost all your friends, your neighbors stare, their kids threw stones and your parents disown you. The circus is planning to ambush you. Be warned.

I wish I have a personal wormhole which takes me anywhere I want at a moment's notice.

**zef** · 07-14-2011, 12:22 AM

Granted, but it only takes you to your most horribly embarrassing moments.

I wish my significant others wouldn't unintentionally betray me.

**venuspop** · 07-14-2011, 02:23 AM

Granted. The insignificant ones did, and intentionally too.

I wish that babies are born with a sense of humor.

**IronSulfide** · 07-14-2011, 04:46 AM

Granted, this sense of humor begins to manifest before birth in the form of immature practical jokes, where the fetus farts repeatedly during the ultrasound, stops moving for days on end to trick you into thinking it is dead, kicks you repeatedly when it senses that your bladder is full, and induces false labor at 2 AM every day for six weeks before actual birth. Then when the baby is born, it will playfully throws its toy blocks at you when you are doing important things, knock food aside just to see how many times you'll pick it up, and defecate immediately after you change its diaper (wait, this is starting to sound familiar).

I wish that the universe was really just one giant amoeba.

**venuspop** · 07-14-2011, 05:42 AM

Granted. You're the food particle slowly being engulfed by the amoeba.

I wish I knew if the Reptilians are real.

**IronSulfide** · 07-14-2011, 10:00 AM

Granted when you are 99 years old and no longer remember who or what the Reptilians are.

I wish that the proceeds from all the wishing wells of the world were direct-deposited into my bank account.

**gracious** · 07-14-2011, 10:06 AM

Granted. Loose change is direct-deposited into your bank account. However, your paycheques seem to be going elsewhere now that the whole world knows your banking details.

I wish my favourite watch didn't eat through batteries so quickly.

thebrainpolice · 07-14-2011, 11:11 AM

Granted, your watch is now broken beyond repair.

I wish that I was above the law.

**paleoeco** · 07-14-2011, 11:19 AM

Granted: However, "the law" is really a bar in Pasadena, and by "being above it", you've just been pushed out of plane without a parachute. No worries, though...soon enough, you'll no longer be "above" anything.

I wish for swirled peas.

**IronSulfide** · 07-14-2011, 02:06 PM

Granted, but they are very expensive to grow.

I wish for an endless supply of Oreo cookies.

07-12-2011, 11:08 PM	#11676
venuspop Core Member [928%] MBTI: ISTJ Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 37,122	Granted. They introduce poisoned lances. I wish time stood still whenever I'm angry.
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07-13-2011, 04:24 AM	#11677
IronSulfide Core Member [102%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 4,092	Granted, you have frozen time forever. I wish that trees didn't shed their leaves in winter.
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07-13-2011, 08:19 AM	#11678
BirdsOfAFeather Member [11%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 451	Granted. You just wasted a perfectly good wish wishing for evergreens. We already have those. I wish that food would magically appear if I wanted it to.
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07-13-2011, 09:38 AM	#11679
IronSulfide Core Member [102%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 4,092	Granted, but the magically conjured food is always a bowl of thin gruel garnished with a dead fly floating upside down on the surface. I wish that I had perfect eyesight.
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07-13-2011, 03:13 PM	#11680
thebrainpolice Core Member [216%] MBTI: ISTJ Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 8,641	Granted, you can now use your perfect eyesight to watch the video from The Ring. I wish I had a cold beer right now.
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07-13-2011, 03:30 PM	#11681
DeepThought Core Member [254%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 10,183	Granted, but then a leprechaun appeared and snatched it from your hands just before disappearing with a evil laugh. I wish my clients never complained and were always agreeable in their dealings with me.
DeepThought is offline post a comment

07-13-2011, 03:33 PM	#11682
IronSulfide Core Member [102%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 4,092	Granted, your clients are all Scientologists who are courting you as a potential convert. I wish that sugar was a universal cure for all diseases.
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07-13-2011, 03:46 PM	#11683
DeepThought Core Member [254%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 10,183	Granted, but tooth decay takes on epidemic proportions. FYI: You really should get your teeth looked at, that can't be healthy. I wish my monitor always adjusted to the perfect viewing height automatically.
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07-13-2011, 03:53 PM	#11684
IronSulfide Core Member [102%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 4,092	Granted, but it continues doing so even when you no longer want to use the computer, stretching and contorting impossibly as it stalks you throughout your day, remaining always in front of your eyes and blocking your vision. I wish that scientists would invent SPF infinity sunscreen.
IronSulfide is offline post a comment

07-13-2011, 05:06 PM	#11685
thebrainpolice Core Member [216%] MBTI: ISTJ Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 8,641	That's already been done. Congratulations, you are now covered in tar. I wish my puppy would stop pissing all over my house and chewing my stuff.
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07-13-2011, 05:08 PM	#11686
IronSulfide Core Member [102%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 4,092	Granted, instead he poops on your face while you sleep. I wish that I was immune to flu and cold viruses.
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07-13-2011, 05:19 PM	#11687
thebrainpolice Core Member [216%] MBTI: ISTJ Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 8,641	Granted, those viruses have now mutated and you have the super flu. I wish that Sarah Palin never becomes President.
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07-13-2011, 05:43 PM	#11688
IronSulfide Core Member [102%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 4,092	Granted, Sarah Palin gets run over by her own campaign truck and is therefore replaced by Bristol Palin, who becomes president. I wish that Antarctica was suitable for human habitation.
IronSulfide is offline post a comment

07-13-2011, 05:50 PM	#11689
thebrainpolice Core Member [216%] MBTI: ISTJ Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 8,641	Granted, all the snow and ice in Antarctica has melted causing sea levels to rise. Now all of the world's coastal cities are underwater. I wish there would be a clean, vacant port-a-potty nearby every time I need to relieve myself.
thebrainpolice is online post a comment

07-13-2011, 06:00 PM	#11690
IronSulfide Core Member [102%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 4,092	Granted, but unfortunately it is always locked. I wish that I had eyes in the back of my head.
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07-13-2011, 10:39 PM	#11691
venuspop Core Member [928%] MBTI: ISTJ Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 37,122	Granted. You lost all your friends, your neighbors stare, their kids threw stones and your parents disown you. The circus is planning to ambush you. Be warned. I wish I have a personal wormhole which takes me anywhere I want at a moment's notice.
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07-14-2011, 12:22 AM	#11692
zef Member [08%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 359	Granted, but it only takes you to your most horribly embarrassing moments. I wish my significant others wouldn't unintentionally betray me.
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07-14-2011, 02:23 AM	#11693
venuspop Core Member [928%] MBTI: ISTJ Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 37,122	Granted. The insignificant ones did, and intentionally too. I wish that babies are born with a sense of humor.
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07-14-2011, 04:46 AM	#11694
IronSulfide Core Member [102%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 4,092	Granted, this sense of humor begins to manifest before birth in the form of immature practical jokes, where the fetus farts repeatedly during the ultrasound, stops moving for days on end to trick you into thinking it is dead, kicks you repeatedly when it senses that your bladder is full, and induces false labor at 2 AM every day for six weeks before actual birth. Then when the baby is born, it will playfully throws its toy blocks at you when you are doing important things, knock food aside just to see how many times you'll pick it up, and defecate immediately after you change its diaper (wait, this is starting to sound familiar). I wish that the universe was really just one giant amoeba.
IronSulfide is offline post a comment

07-14-2011, 05:42 AM	#11695
venuspop Core Member [928%] MBTI: ISTJ Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 37,122	Granted. You're the food particle slowly being engulfed by the amoeba. I wish I knew if the Reptilians are real.
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07-14-2011, 10:00 AM	#11696
IronSulfide Core Member [102%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 4,092	Granted when you are 99 years old and no longer remember who or what the Reptilians are. I wish that the proceeds from all the wishing wells of the world were direct-deposited into my bank account.
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07-14-2011, 10:06 AM	#11697
gracious Core Member [342%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,691	Granted. Loose change is direct-deposited into your bank account. However, your paycheques seem to be going elsewhere now that the whole world knows your banking details. I wish my favourite watch didn't eat through batteries so quickly.
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07-14-2011, 11:11 AM	#11698
thebrainpolice Core Member [216%] MBTI: ISTJ Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 8,641	Granted, your watch is now broken beyond repair. I wish that I was above the law.
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07-14-2011, 11:19 AM	#11699
paleoeco Veteran Member [77%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 3,084	Granted: However, "the law" is really a bar in Pasadena, and by "being above it", you've just been pushed out of plane without a parachute. No worries, though...soon enough, you'll no longer be "above" anything. I wish for swirled peas.
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07-14-2011, 02:06 PM	#11700
IronSulfide Core Member [102%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 4,092	Granted, but they are very expensive to grow. I wish for an endless supply of Oreo cookies.
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