corrupt a wish - Page 436

**Ad Infinitum** · 03-09-2011, 05:04 AM

Granted. You drop the cig onto your sleeve, igniting yourself in a conflagration (fun word) of nicotine and lung cancer.

I wish I understood why people are so emotional.

**GenessorDios** · 03-09-2011, 05:29 AM

Granted. The knowledge downloads into your brain, eliciting only an apathetic hmph before being filed away in the recesses. You know, you probably wouldn't be so flippant with your wishes if they weren't free.

I wish I could charge for wishes.

**Wry Satyr** · 03-09-2011, 11:11 AM

granted, but the government demands taxation on your wish charges and the IRS audits you yearly, frying your circuits and running the wish charge into the ground.

I wish I could channel my melancholy into writing something new and challenging.

**TypeINTP** · 03-09-2011, 11:25 AM

Granted, You publish your writings an 48 Hrs later an angry mob nailed you to an upside-down cross throwing monkey stool at you!

Wish I could go to Paris!

**Wry Satyr** · 03-09-2011, 11:32 AM

granted, but wanabe vampires force you into a life of petty crime before using you for their psychotic feeding frenzy and dumping your spent carcas into the Seine.

I wish the next hour and a half would blink past.

**TypeINTP** · 03-09-2011, 11:46 AM

Granted, but then someone comes to you and tells you that in the Hour & a half you were "blinking" Jessica Alba came and offered you 10 grand to sleep with her, and she kept begging until she got sick of your blinking and went to that Asshole down the hall that you hate so much!

Wish I could become a Katana Sword-smith.

**Wry Satyr** · 03-10-2011, 11:02 AM

Granted, but as you're smithing your first katana, your hammer bounces up and knocks out all of your teeth.

I wish Jessica Alba would change her mind and come back and ask me now that I've stopped blinking.

**JasonINTJ** · 03-10-2011, 07:32 PM

She changes her mind but she also changes her body into Gerard Depardieu's.

I wish zombies craved jello and not brains.

**Wry Satyr** · 03-11-2011, 08:50 AM

granted - they now crave jello that is made from human bones.

I wish canibalism were legal.

**NoGrayArea01** · 03-11-2011, 12:30 PM

Granted, but it's only legal to eat you.

I wish people weren't so complicated.

**zef** · 03-11-2011, 03:45 PM

Granted. . .we're all Republicans

I wish liberals were more violent.

**NoGrayArea01** · 03-11-2011, 03:52 PM

Granted, they all kill each other with their bare hands because they're still terrified of guns.

I wish the grill would cook faster.

**John01** · 03-11-2011, 06:38 PM

Granted! The grill cooks so fast your food is now a pile of carbon flakes, and it's all you have to eat for the next 3 days.

I wish I could have a two week vacation instead of just one week.

**GettingBetter** · 03-12-2011, 10:17 AM

Granted. I have to break the rules, but I somehow just can't corrupt that wish.
* ok. moment of compassion over*
You have been granted a two week vacation, but right after you get there a hurricane comes through. There's no running water and no functioning toilets. Planes can't land so you can't leave the island for the next 3 weeks. Your boss fires you for not being on the job.

I wish all people were emotionally healthy.

**TypeINTP** · 03-14-2011, 11:56 PM

Granted, everyone around you smile, always smile, forever smile, you insult your neighbor and he smiles, you hit your friend and he smiles, you go to a funeral and piss on the deceased's coffin and his relatives smile ... you get your gun and blow your brains out in-front of a daycare center and the infants smile, and while they bury you they smile, and piss on your coffin!

I Wish I had Mila Kunis in my bed just for 10 Hours.

**NoGrayArea01** · 03-15-2011, 12:48 AM

Granted, but you're not home.

I wish Lady Gaga, Lil Wayne, Katy Perry, and Justin Bieber would be fired off on a rocket to Saturn.

**Wry Satyr** · 03-15-2011, 11:13 AM

granted, but your stuck with them as the tour guide.

I wish I could visit planets around many nearby stars.

**GettingBetter** · 03-18-2011, 01:37 PM

Granted. But you alternately fry and freeze and having trouble breathing, because none of the planets is the ideal distance nor has the atmosphere you need to be comfortable.

I wish I was doing something more exciting.

**NoGrayArea01** · 03-18-2011, 06:42 PM

Granted, you're strapped to the front of a speeding, runaway train. Oh look, the bridge is out up ahead.

I wish that I could meet an alien.

**John01** · 03-18-2011, 10:00 PM

Granted! You meet the alien of your dreams, fall in love with your dreamy alien, have bizarre sex involving various alien appendages and orifices and produce an alien son who becomes the Predator!

I wish I did not have to study all weekend.

**TypeINTP** · 03-21-2011, 04:35 AM

You don't, but you do have to spend all weekend at some old guy's house cleaning the sweat under his saggy chest because you need the money he pays you to get your fix.

Wish I had my fix.

**Wry Satyr** · 03-21-2011, 11:49 AM

(cross-thread ban for not using GRANTED anywhere in your wish grant for John01.)

Granted - you get your fix, but it's laced with angeldust. Your body goes into shock, you collapse, and die before your junkie dealer can split the scene.

I wish I could control time as easily as I breathe.

**WoodsWoman** · 03-21-2011, 02:36 PM

Granted - breathing just got real difficult.

I wish I could teleport.

**TypeINTP** · 03-22-2011, 12:33 AM

Granted, but you can't control the coordinates, and you end up in John Goodman's toilet 45 minuets after he had his fill of Indian food.

Wish i had binoculars & a sorority house across the street!

**Wry Satyr** · 03-22-2011, 07:11 AM

Granted, but the sorority girls are all homely and butch. After a tipoff from a group of do-gooder boyscouts, the sorority girls come over in force adn give you a sound thrashing, using your binoculars, then tie you up and use the lenses to burn you with the noon sun.

I wish my mind weren't so disturbed.

03-09-2011, 05:04 AM	#10876
Ad Infinitum Member [07%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 285	Granted. You drop the cig onto your sleeve, igniting yourself in a conflagration (fun word) of nicotine and lung cancer. I wish I understood why people are so emotional.
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03-09-2011, 05:29 AM	#10877
GenessorDios Core Member [298%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 11,929	Granted. The knowledge downloads into your brain, eliciting only an apathetic hmph before being filed away in the recesses. You know, you probably wouldn't be so flippant with your wishes if they weren't free. I wish I could charge for wishes.
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03-09-2011, 11:11 AM	#10878
Wry Satyr Veteran Member [63%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 2,551	granted, but the government demands taxation on your wish charges and the IRS audits you yearly, frying your circuits and running the wish charge into the ground. I wish I could channel my melancholy into writing something new and challenging.
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03-09-2011, 11:25 AM	#10879
TypeINTP Member [13%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 555	Granted, You publish your writings an 48 Hrs later an angry mob nailed you to an upside-down cross throwing monkey stool at you! Wish I could go to Paris!
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03-09-2011, 11:32 AM	#10880
Wry Satyr Veteran Member [63%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 2,551	granted, but wanabe vampires force you into a life of petty crime before using you for their psychotic feeding frenzy and dumping your spent carcas into the Seine. I wish the next hour and a half would blink past.
Wry Satyr is offline post a comment

03-09-2011, 11:46 AM	#10881
TypeINTP Member [13%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 555	Granted, but then someone comes to you and tells you that in the Hour & a half you were "blinking" Jessica Alba came and offered you 10 grand to sleep with her, and she kept begging until she got sick of your blinking and went to that Asshole down the hall that you hate so much! Wish I could become a Katana Sword-smith.
TypeINTP is offline post a comment

03-10-2011, 11:02 AM	#10882
Wry Satyr Veteran Member [63%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 2,551	Granted, but as you're smithing your first katana, your hammer bounces up and knocks out all of your teeth. I wish Jessica Alba would change her mind and come back and ask me now that I've stopped blinking.
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03-10-2011, 07:32 PM	#10883
JasonINTJ Member [13%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 538	She changes her mind but she also changes her body into Gerard Depardieu's. I wish zombies craved jello and not brains.
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03-11-2011, 08:50 AM	#10884
Wry Satyr Veteran Member [63%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 2,551	granted - they now crave jello that is made from human bones. I wish canibalism were legal.
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03-11-2011, 12:30 PM	#10885
NoGrayArea01 Core Member [147%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 5,892	Granted, but it's only legal to eat you. I wish people weren't so complicated.
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03-11-2011, 03:45 PM	#10886
zef Member [08%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 359	Granted. . .we're all Republicans I wish liberals were more violent.
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03-11-2011, 03:52 PM	#10887
NoGrayArea01 Core Member [147%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 5,892	Granted, they all kill each other with their bare hands because they're still terrified of guns. I wish the grill would cook faster.
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03-11-2011, 06:38 PM	#10888
John01 Core Member [113%] MBTI: INTx Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 4,527	Granted! The grill cooks so fast your food is now a pile of carbon flakes, and it's all you have to eat for the next 3 days. I wish I could have a two week vacation instead of just one week.
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03-12-2011, 10:17 AM	#10889
GettingBetter Member [23%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 959	Granted. I have to break the rules, but I somehow just can't corrupt that wish. * ok. moment of compassion over* You have been granted a two week vacation, but right after you get there a hurricane comes through. There's no running water and no functioning toilets. Planes can't land so you can't leave the island for the next 3 weeks. Your boss fires you for not being on the job. I wish all people were emotionally healthy.
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03-14-2011, 11:56 PM	#10890
TypeINTP Member [13%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 555	Granted, everyone around you smile, always smile, forever smile, you insult your neighbor and he smiles, you hit your friend and he smiles, you go to a funeral and piss on the deceased's coffin and his relatives smile ... you get your gun and blow your brains out in-front of a daycare center and the infants smile, and while they bury you they smile, and piss on your coffin! I Wish I had Mila Kunis in my bed just for 10 Hours.
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03-15-2011, 12:48 AM	#10891
NoGrayArea01 Core Member [147%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 5,892	Granted, but you're not home. I wish Lady Gaga, Lil Wayne, Katy Perry, and Justin Bieber would be fired off on a rocket to Saturn.
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03-15-2011, 11:13 AM	#10892
Wry Satyr Veteran Member [63%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 2,551	granted, but your stuck with them as the tour guide. I wish I could visit planets around many nearby stars.
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03-18-2011, 01:37 PM	#10893
GettingBetter Member [23%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 959	Granted. But you alternately fry and freeze and having trouble breathing, because none of the planets is the ideal distance nor has the atmosphere you need to be comfortable. I wish I was doing something more exciting.
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03-18-2011, 06:42 PM	#10894
NoGrayArea01 Core Member [147%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 5,892	Granted, you're strapped to the front of a speeding, runaway train. Oh look, the bridge is out up ahead. I wish that I could meet an alien.
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03-18-2011, 10:00 PM	#10895
John01 Core Member [113%] MBTI: INTx Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 4,527	Granted! You meet the alien of your dreams, fall in love with your dreamy alien, have bizarre sex involving various alien appendages and orifices and produce an alien son who becomes the Predator! I wish I did not have to study all weekend.
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03-21-2011, 04:35 AM	#10896
TypeINTP Member [13%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 555	You don't, but you do have to spend all weekend at some old guy's house cleaning the sweat under his saggy chest because you need the money he pays you to get your fix. Wish I had my fix.
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03-21-2011, 11:49 AM	#10897
Wry Satyr Veteran Member [63%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 2,551	(cross-thread ban for not using GRANTED anywhere in your wish grant for John01.) Granted - you get your fix, but it's laced with angeldust. Your body goes into shock, you collapse, and die before your junkie dealer can split the scene. I wish I could control time as easily as I breathe.
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03-21-2011, 02:36 PM	#10898
WoodsWoman Core Member [903%] MBTI: INFP Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 36,156	Granted - breathing just got real difficult. I wish I could teleport.
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03-22-2011, 12:33 AM	#10899
TypeINTP Member [13%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 555	Granted, but you can't control the coordinates, and you end up in John Goodman's toilet 45 minuets after he had his fill of Indian food. Wish i had binoculars & a sorority house across the street!
TypeINTP is offline post a comment

03-22-2011, 07:11 AM	#10900
Wry Satyr Veteran Member [63%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 2,551	Granted, but the sorority girls are all homely and butch. After a tipoff from a group of do-gooder boyscouts, the sorority girls come over in force adn give you a sound thrashing, using your binoculars, then tie you up and use the lenses to burn you with the noon sun. I wish my mind weren't so disturbed.
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