[SeaCzar]

Granted. But you are so far sighted, you walk into oncoming traffic and, well, let's just say its not pretty.

I wish I had some fresh lemons for my afternoon tea.

[Cuivienen]

Granted. But they are poisoned, so the first sip you drink of your tea is also your last.

I wish I had already read all the legal books I need to know to pass this semester`s exams.

[Hdier]

Granted. You read them all, but forget every word the night before the exams.

I wish people would always use correct grammar on this forum.
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; but it's the lost grammar of the Mayans. but that's ok, it's all in pictograms anyway.

I wish it were 4PM, and I can leave work for the day.

[Cuivienen]

Granted; but just as you are getting up to leave, your boss demotes you; you are now a cleaner and your shift for the day begins at 4.05PM.

I wish the person who posts after me would come and do my dishes.

[DrEast]

Granted, but this means you have to give your address to someone on... the internet!

I wish I had a penguin.

[Cuivienen]

Granted; but the penguin is not house trained and wets all over your books/poems/files/papers/food/bed/clothes etc.

I wish the guy in the appartment next to mine had a better taste in music and/or would turn it down.

EDIT: or if he would at least stop singing along that would be enough really (he and his friends are having some kind of drunken party).

[SeaCzar]

Granted. The guy moves and is replaced by a guy that plays only what you like, in moderate volume. You are thrilled until a week later, when the stench coming from his apartment is so overwhelming that you are sick all the time.

I wish I had married Lisa when I graduated from college.

[Chimerical]

Granted, you married her after college, but she cheated on you and never loved you. In the end she began to plot for your death so she could collect life insurance.

I wish Julie loved me.

[curiousjane]

	Originally Posted by Chimerical To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Granted, you married her after college, but she cheated on you and never loved you. In the end she began to plot for your death so she could collect life insurance. I wish Julie loved me.

Granted. She looooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeesss sssssss you. She can't stop looking at you, thinking about you, wanting to be with you, talking to you, texting you, calling you, e-mailing you, begging you to come with her shopping, and singing off-key love songs to you. You have 251 messages in your voice mail from Julie. You have 365 love notes from Julie. You have a full page ad in the newspaper EVERY DAY from Julie. Julie is getting seriously, pathologically, inseparably clingy.

[Cuivienen]

so what do you wish for?

[Chimerical]

Uh....I wish I had a blow job.

[rwyatt365]

	Originally Posted by Chimerical To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Uh....I wish I had a blow job.

Granted; you now are employed in a glass blowing factory, where you get to blow on your job all day long, every day.

I wish people would stop resorting to sex when they don't have anything thoughtful to say.

[DrEast]

	Originally Posted by rwyatt365 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Granted; you now are employed in a glass blowing factory, where you get to blow on your job all day long, every day. I wish people would stop resorting to sex when they don't have anything thoughtful to say.

Granted. But now the human race will go extinct within the next two centuries.

I wish I could read minds.

[Cuivienen]

Granted, but reading all the stupid, inane and/or boring thoughts of peole you meet makes you lose all your faith in humanity and makes you want to kill yourself.

I wish the state paid students for what they do.

[Chimerical]

	Originally Posted by rwyatt365 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Granted; you now are employed in a glass blowing factory, where you get to blow on your job all day long, every day. I wish people would stop resorting to sex when they don't have anything thoughtful to say.

I was hoping you'd say something like that rather than involve sex into the blow job.

Granted students now get paid to further their education, but in order to get paid you have to sign a contract that gives the government complete legal control over you. They own you now. If you don't do ask asked you will be placed on death row.

I wish I had $1,000,000

[SeaCzar]

	Originally Posted by Chimerical To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I was hoping you'd say something like that rather than involve sex into the blow job. Granted students now get paid to further their education, but in order to get paid you have to sign a contract that gives the government complete legal control over you. They own you now. If you don't do ask asked you will be placed on death row. I wish I had $1,000,000

Granted. But they are Zimbabwe dollars, worth about US$20.00.

I wish Remy Martin XO was not so expensive.

[godelescher]

Granted, but you're still broke.

I wish I was Irish.





godelescher added to this post, 0 minutes and 48 seconds later...

Granted

[Hdier]

Granted; unfortunately you now live in a remote city where all Irish are brutally tortured. You escape detection for one year of pain and suffering, because you can't get a job, etc. You decide that's it's bad enough to turn yourself in. So you do, accepting sweet...more pain and suffering? You got confused and thought it was death, not torture. El well.

I wish my wish would be corrupted in a way that is good for me.

	Originally Posted by DrEast To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Granted. But now the human race will go extinct within the next two centuries. I wish I could read minds.

I thought we were supposed to be corrupting wishes, not improving them...

[rwyatt365]

Granted; your wish is good, real good. So good in fact that other flock to you to learn how to wish such an immaculate wish. You open the "Wish Foundation" where people are taught you wish-making process. You are overwhelmed with all of the administrative burden of running the Foundation and take up drug use to ease your mind. You are arrested for illegal posession, stripped of all your riches, the Foundation is sold at a loss (because of your tarnished reputation), and you spen the next 35 years rotting in a Zimbabwe prison next to the guy who sent out the spam messages.

I wish I could translate my rapier-like wit into a successful stand up comedy career.

[Hdier]

Granted. Unfortunately, you become so nervous at the your first show that your wit abandons you, and your successful comedy career goes with it.

I wish I had as many non-corruptible wishes as there are posts in this thread, and I had no corruptible wishes.

[Cuivienen]

Granted; but before you can use any of them you have a stroke and die.

I wish bad things would happen to MTV.

[Hdier]

Granted. Sol goes nova, depleting their audience and causing them to declare bankruptcy.

I wish I could act more like myself around strangers.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; the MTV studios suddenly and inexplicable catch on fire, burning to the ground in mere seconds. Unfortunately all of the on-air personalities and their archives of past episodes are left intact. They begin rebroadcasting within the hour, and with the help of the RIAA are back with live programming within the week.

I wish my laptop battery would last longer than 3 hours.

[Chainsaw Dundee]

Granted, but now you need a nuclear cooling tower to prevent catastrophic meltdown.


I wish for a box of fresh cookies, and $200usd.