[karenann33]

Yes I know he might change and he's too young to type (he just turned 9). I get that. At the moment he is an absolute clone of me so that's what I'm working with now.

My son recently started boy scouts. The leader is ex military. In trying to keep control over a bunch of 8-9 year old boys he is like a drill seargent (my son hates loud noises of any kind). My son was ok with that because he knew it wasn't aimed at him. But then it came time for him to test for his first badge. He knew the material but the drill seargent unnerved him with his larger than life presence. My son is a small, sensitive soul. So my son couldn't remember a word. The guy still being loud jokingly bopped my son over the head with the handbook. This went on for several minutes until my son started crying...in class. At that point my husband stepped in and dealt with it. As a parting comment the drill seargent rambled something about this being only the 3rd boy he'd made cry.

I wasn't there but heard it all when my son came home in tears.

My husband feels like this guy did nothing wrong and I believe him. I know the instructor. He's a great guy but he is in fact in your face loud.

How would you handle this?

[deinotes]

Originally Posted by karenann33 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Yes I know he might change and he's too young to type (he just turned 9). I get that. At the moment he is an absolute clone of me so that's what I'm working with now. My son recently started boy scouts. The leader is ex military. In trying to keep control over a bunch of 8-9 year old boys he is like a drill sergeant (my son hates loud noises of any kind). My son was ok with that because he knew it wasn't aimed at him. But then it came time for him to test for his first badge. He knew the material but the drill sergeant unnerved him with his larger than life presence. My son is a small, sensitive soul. So my son couldn't remember a word. The guy still being loud jokingly bopped my son over the head with the handbook. This went on for several minutes until my son started crying...in class. At that point my husband stepped in and dealt with it. As a parting comment the drill sergeant rambled something about this being only the 3rd boy he'd made cry. I wasn't there but heard it all when my son came home in tears. My husband feels like this guy did nothing wrong and I believe him. I know the instructor. He's a great guy but he is in fact in your face loud. How would you handle this?

Practice with him , be loud and obnoxious and try to teach him that's it's nothing to be afraid of.

[Soulless]

are you sure boy scouts is the right place for him? INTJs aren't supposed to like hierarchy and rigid order.

i personally hated boy scouts as a child, and i didn't get anything from the experience.

[randuincanus]

Boy scouts actually can be very balanced between authority structure and independence, and can be a good place for developing the (regrettably) necessary skills to function in a hierarchal system.

The strong leaders are worth sticking with, so I echo deinotes advice to practice dealing with the noise and bluster.

[Skank]

	Originally Posted by deinotes To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Practice with him , be loud and obnoxious and try to teach him that's it's nothing to be afraid of.

And the world wonders why we grow up avoiding people...

Maybe he isn't afraid of the yelling. Maybe he hates the way the man is acting and has to be PC (be respectful of adults) and the only acceptable behavior is crying.

I'm sure he'd like to tell the adult to turn it down a notch, grow up and stop being such an ass.

[jm123]

	Originally Posted by Skank To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	And the world wonders why we grow up avoiding people... Maybe he isn't afraid of the yelling. Maybe he hates the way the man is acting and has to be PC (be respectful of adults) and the only acceptable behavior is crying. I'm sure he'd like to tell the adult to turn it down a notch, grow up and stop being such an ass.

You missed the part where she said her husband did not see anything wrong with the instructors behavior. Her child probably needs to learn to deal with stressful authority figures. Authority and hierarchy orders are not something that INTJ's seem to like or respect unless they think the leaders are worthy, and it is natural that this would bother him if he was an INTJ. However, it is something he needs to learn to deal with, if he is to have an enjoyable social/work life; that is unless he owns his own business.

I have to agree, give him practice at dealing with this type of leadership. I personally would have loved having a parent that was this interested in my life; that I not only got to do boy-scouts, but that they cared I was upset about an obnoxious leader. Teach him your coping mechanisms, and strategies to deal with this type of behavior.

I know as a parent I always attempt to help my kids with perceived deficiencies. Such as not handling the joking that kids do. Or teaching them life is not fair. The sooner they learn this, the better their life will be.

[Skank]

"The guy still being loud jokingly bopped my son over the head with the handbook. This went on for several minutes until my son started crying...in class. At that point my husband stepped in and dealt with it. As a parting comment the drill seargent rambled something about this being only the 3rd boy he'd made cry."

Sorry, I just don't agree that this individual should be supervising 9 year olds with or without their parents present IMO

This is another classic "It really doesn't matter - They're just kids - and I'm just a volunteer" experience that most kids would be better off not having.

Life is not fair but I'd rather put my children in situations where they're respected and encouraged rather than just settling for being bopped on the head.

Was the comment about "this being only the 3rd boy he'd made cry" made where your son heard it? I bet the comment was made to your husband while your son stood at his side like he didn't even exist. Was that comment made to make the scout leader or your husband feel better? I'm sure it didn't do much to console your son.

If you feel that you want your son to experience scouting find him another pack or den to be part of - Just IMHO.

[LionsPride]

Originally Posted by jm123 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

You missed the part where she said her husband did not see anything wrong with the instructors behavior. Her child probably needs to learn to deal with stressful authority figures. Authority and hierarchy orders are not something that INTJ's seem to like or respect unless they think the leaders are worthy, and it is natural that this would bother him if he was an INTJ. However, it is something he needs to learn to deal with, if he is to have an enjoyable social/work life; that is unless he owns his own business.

I completely agree with the above. I realize that moving the child to a place that will better suit they disposition seems like the easiest and best solution, but it would rob them of the chance to develop skills now that will help them deal with life. If it's not a scout master it will be a teacher or university professor, a supervisor... Two things he has at the age of 9 that he won't have post-adolescence is the dedicated support of his parents and the ability to cry/make mistakes.

As to dealing with it, that's a hard one and can be different with every student. What worked with me was my parents never let me quit or avoid the activity I was having problems with, but they would give me all the support I needed to complete it. That meant that if I came home in tears they were there to help me process what had happened, reassure me about my self-worth and bring back my confidence to face another day. If the scout master lacks the ability to praise your child, take responsibility to provide the praise needed to keep them encouraged. If your scout master can't teach, try teaching the lessons to your child outside of class so that he can use his confidence in a task to hold it together during the yelling. If the child is indeed an INTJ, you may need to explain the value in the scout master's technique to your child while showing understanding as to why he is feeling discomfort. Lastly, if the scout master turns out to be an ass/bully and there isn't a lot of value there, I don't know about your child, but I didn't have to respect my teachers to get through school. If the master isn't worth respecting, but he is worth 'overcoming as a challenge' then that might be enough to bring out the determination INTJ's can be known for.

I should mention that in much of my life my superiors always liked me. Learning to deal with a superior that didn't like me was rough. At the same age as your son, if I was expecting praise and found only criticism it would cause me to have much the same reaction - frustration followed by tears. In one case, age ten, I found that seeing my superior as an opponent rather than friend/mentor hardened me up a bit and my drive to succeed kicked into overdrive. So much so that I went from average student to honour student and made sure my grades kept improving every year after. The experience, as frustrating as it was at the time, was a watershed moment in my life and if my parents had transfered me to another teacher to 'save me' from the hardship, I would have lost a valuable experience.

[StreetScooby]

Originally Posted by karenann33 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Yes I know he might change and he's too young to type (he just turned 9). I get that. At the moment he is an absolute clone of me so that's what I'm working with now. My son recently started boy scouts. The leader is ex military. In trying to keep control over a bunch of 8-9 year old boys he is like a drill seargent (my son hates loud noises of any kind). My son was ok with that because he knew it wasn't aimed at him. But then it came time for him to test for his first badge. He knew the material but the drill seargent unnerved him with his larger than life presence. My son is a small, sensitive soul. So my son couldn't remember a word. The guy still being loud jokingly bopped my son over the head with the handbook. This went on for several minutes until my son started crying...in class. At that point my husband stepped in and dealt with it. As a parting comment the drill seargent rambled something about this being only the 3rd boy he'd made cry. I wasn't there but heard it all when my son came home in tears. My husband feels like this guy did nothing wrong and I believe him. I know the instructor. He's a great guy but he is in fact in your face loud. How would you handle this?

Why do you see this as a problem? It simply part of life. Personally, I would have a private chat with the Scout Master on his technique.

[Tiberius Danger]

Originally Posted by karenann33 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Yes I know he might change and he's too young to type (he just turned 9). I get that. At the moment he is an absolute clone of me so that's what I'm working with now. My son recently started boy scouts. The leader is ex military. In trying to keep control over a bunch of 8-9 year old boys he is like a drill seargent (my son hates loud noises of any kind). My son was ok with that because he knew it wasn't aimed at him. But then it came time for him to test for his first badge. He knew the material but the drill seargent unnerved him with his larger than life presence. My son is a small, sensitive soul. So my son couldn't remember a word. The guy still being loud jokingly bopped my son over the head with the handbook. This went on for several minutes until my son started crying...in class. At that point my husband stepped in and dealt with it. As a parting comment the drill seargent rambled something about this being only the 3rd boy he'd made cry. I wasn't there but heard it all when my son came home in tears. My husband feels like this guy did nothing wrong and I believe him. I know the instructor. He's a great guy but he is in fact in your face loud. How would you handle this?

He struck your son, that's ok with you because he's 'in your face loud'?

[WaeV]

I am and Eagle Scout and was the Senior Patrol Leader for a year and a half. I enjoyed boy scouts immensely. But then, I don't remember anyone bopping me over the head with the handbook.

When you say he was testing for his first badge, do you mean that he went for a board of review for his Scout/Tenderfoot rank or that he was being tested on a merit badge?

For a board of review one generally goes before a group of three or so adults affiliated with the troop and answers questions designed to test one's knowledge of scouting up to the level you are applying for. There are no other kids around and usually no parents.

Based on your description, however, he was in front of the 'class' of boys. This leads me to believe that the badge he was working on was a merit badge. Yet merit badge requirements are normally turned in rather than answered orally. If done in a group I can understand fulfilling some requirements with group discussion, but I don't see any reason for the leader to grill your son for several minutes.

Lastly, why was your husband there? Is he an assistant scoutmaster?

[karenann33]

	Originally Posted by Soulless To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	are you sure boy scouts is the right place for him? INTJs aren't supposed to like hierarchy and rigid order.

He likes the part where he gets to play and hang out with other boys. The putting him on the spot to answer questions by a loud person and getting bopped over the head (jokingly) not so much.





karenann33 added to this post, 4 minutes and 31 seconds later...

	Originally Posted by randuincanus To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Boy scouts actually can be very balanced between authority structure and independence, and can be a good place for developing the (regrettably) necessary skills to function in a hierarchal system. The strong leaders are worth sticking with, so I echo deinotes advice to practice dealing with the noise and bluster.

I agree with this actually. It's how I've taught him to cope with many other of life's problems. I think my mistake was letting my dh handle it. He totally doesn't understand this. I need to go to these meetings to ensure that my son is ready to learn these skills and that he knows I will stand by his side in case things get too intense. Baby steps you know.





karenann33 added to this post, 7 minutes and 38 seconds later...

	Originally Posted by Skank To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	And the world wonders why we grow up avoiding people... Maybe he isn't afraid of the yelling. Maybe he hates the way the man is acting and has to be PC (be respectful of adults) and the only acceptable behavior is crying. I'm sure he'd like to tell the adult to turn it down a notch, grow up and stop being such an ass.

I know. I look at this as a numbers game. The majority of these boys NEED this kind of leader just to keep order. A sad state of our kids with their lack of home training but that is for another vent. My son however does not need nor deserve this type of treatment because he does do what he is told. At the moment he respects adults probably too much (he takes everything literal) so my job is to say yes but that doesn't excuse them from being unnecessarily mean to you. It's a tricky balancing act.





karenann33 added to this post, 11 minutes and 41 seconds later...

Originally Posted by jm123 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I have to agree, give him practice at dealing with this type of leadership. I personally would have loved having a parent that was this interested in my life; that I not only got to do boy-scouts, but that they cared I was upset about an obnoxious leader. Teach him your coping mechanisms, and strategies to deal with this type of behavior. I know as a parent I always attempt to help my kids with perceived deficiencies. Such as not handling the joking that kids do. Or teaching them life is not fair. The sooner they learn this, the better their life will be.

This is my goal. In fact after this happened I told my son that I would attend the next meeting and if I couldn't we would come up with a hand signal to let dh know that things were not going well so he could be pulled out. Dh can't read his face like I can. I also noted that boy scouts was at this point in his life "optional" unlike school or a job where you can't easily run. He seemed happy that I understood him and that my goal was to help him. I even had him laughing by saying that jokingly that I was going to bring my own book and if this leader tried to hit him again I was going to hit him instead. LOL!!





karenann33 added to this post, 17 minutes and 4 seconds later...

Originally Posted by Skank To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

This is another classic "It really doesn't matter - They're just kids - and I'm just a volunteer" experience that most kids would be better off not having. Life is not fair but I'd rather put my children in situations where they're respected and encouraged rather than just settling for being bopped on the head. Was the comment about "this being only the 3rd boy he'd made cry" made where your son heard it? I bet the comment was made to your husband while your son stood at his side like he didn't even exist. Was that comment made to make the scout leader or your husband feel better? I'm sure it didn't do much to console your son.

I agree which is why next time I will be there and will supervise. I did not appreciate my son being bopped on the head even as a joke. It was totally inappropriate. The comment was made I think to my son while my husband was standing there. Not sure the context as it was my son who told me the story. And no it certainly did NOT console my son. Only I was able to do that but he in fact an alien so that doesn't surprise me.

I should mention I suspect my son is on the autistic range (mild but still). Aspergers, sensory issues, something. He functions and is highly intelligent so I've not pursued treatement other than me teaching him how to cope. It's working as I've seen him grow a lot in the past 4 years. It's just a slow sometimes painful process for sure.





karenann33 added to this post, 20 minutes and 2 seconds later...

	Originally Posted by LionsPride To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	The experience, as frustrating as it was at the time, was a watershed moment in my life and if my parents had transfered me to another teacher to 'save me' from the hardship, I would have lost a valuable experience.

This is it in a nutshell. At this point at 9 I have the opportunity to stand WITH him, to protect him, to teach him, to help him cope whereas if I just move him or pull him out then we miss this teachable moment. Now if he's not ready and wants to quit then I will let him but so far thats not the issue. He likes scouts just not the way the questions were asked. Unfortunately this is his lot in life and as gently as possible he does need to learn how to deal.





karenann33 added to this post, 21 minutes and 21 seconds later...

	Originally Posted by StreetScooby To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Why do you see this as a problem? It simply part of life. Personally, I would have a private chat with the Scout Master on his technique.

Thats what dh wants to do. The guy really is ok. He's just loud. If he can't change maybe we can ask ds the questions with this guy just supervising until ds sees that it's ok.





karenann33 added to this post, 24 minutes and 15 seconds later...

	Originally Posted by tiberiusdanger To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	He struck your son, that's ok with you because he's 'in your face loud'?

Absolutely NOT!! You'd have to know this guy to know he meant nothing bad and he didn't hit him hard it was kind of a pat like a piece of paper but to my son it was patronizing plus he's sensitive so to him it probably was awful. My son never said it hurt he just said he didn't like it.

[karenann33]

Originally Posted by WaeV To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

When you say he was testing for his first badge, do you mean that he went for a board of review for his Scout/Tenderfoot rank or that he was being tested on a merit badge? Based on your description, however, he was in front of the 'class' of boys. This leads me to believe that the badge he was working on was a merit badge. Yet merit badge requirements are normally turned in rather than answered orally. If done in a group I can understand fulfilling some requirements with group discussion, but I don't see any reason for the leader to grill your son for several minutes. Lastly, why was your husband there? Is he an assistant scoutmaster?

He's a bear so he had to recite the motto, do the handshake, whatever it's his first patch/badge no clue I was never a boy scout. It wasn't directly in front of the class the instructor pulled him to the side to do this while the other boys worked on knots.

I agree that there is no reason for my son to be grilled for several minutes. My suggestion is to let dh or I ask the questions and just let the instructor supervise to see that he has in fact met the requirements. I have no problem with that.

They say they need and will take all the volunteers they can get so they let parents stay. Most don't so this isn't an issue. Another tidbit is this instructor is a rookie cop who works with my dh (he's a lieutenant) so yes he does want him to be assistant scoutmaster. We are very involved with our kids so unless they want us gone or we aren't allowed to stay (like in my dd's girl scouts) we stay. The boy scouts are cool in that they have a monkey den for my daughters to go to if they want. They love it. Dh says its nothing like it was when he was a kid. Now it's more family friendly and all that wants to can stay and attend.

[realitycheque]

I was in BSA for 6 years and an Eagle, so I can speak from experience.

I started in one troop, stayed over a year. Transferred to another troop because the first Scoutmaster was not a good match (emphasized martial arts, didn't camp out much, had a son in jail, etc.). The second troop was so much better a situation, and through a supportive Scoutmaster, I (and friends who also transferred) rose through the ranks quickly (e.g., I earned 14 merit badges in one summer).

Your son's SM sounds over the top, maybe even not a good match. He should be embarrassed of making your son cry, not making excuses. Your husband was caught up in the macho bravado -- deep inside he too was hurt by the episode (pride), but won't admit it. It would be appropriate for him to talk with the SM about the circumstances, and how SM's behavior goes against a quarter of the Scout Law (the courteous, kind, cheerful elements). Drilling 15-17 year olds might be warranted, but not 9! Your son's traits of autism makes it even less appropriate.

How to prepare your kid for merit badges (or skill awards)? The Requirements are listed in the Handbook. Do some practice sessions so he is confident in meeting them. It gets easier. The process develops goal-setting which will serve him well in life. See so many posts here on 'lack of motivation'? A good Scouting experience will greatly reduce the chance of your son falling into that syndrome.


Edit after other members' posts: If it's cub scouts (makes sense given the age of 9), I cannot speak to that experience. Try to keep your son's interest in scouting up, so he can enjoy Boy Scouts, especially the outdoor activities.

[Seducer]

That sucks. That scout leader is a jerk.
What he did WAS WRONG.
I think your son should be with kind, nurturing people, not jerks.
If he is sensitive, WHY are you exposing him to insensitive, abusive jerks?
It's not going to do him any good.
It's only going to make him hate people.

[Bluesea]

Well I think your husband could have modelled something. If the scout master is frustrated with your boy and wants him to 'man up' and rise to the occasion and decides a good bop on the head should encourage this ... he has

a) not achieved it as the boy has been reduced to tears in-front of his male peers and if he is an INTJ this will be even more humiliating and punitive for him. Reminding him when he was nervous about the strengths he has exhibited during other exercises may have helped him find his core stability and regain his mind's capacity to find the answers.

b) has demonstrated that when you are in a power position and get frustrated with the people under you's ability to perform the job then it is ok to lash out physically at them. Not sure this is a natural part of life to be teaching and is necessarily to do with authority.

I think this is where power has not been wisely used and executed. The emotive aspect of the scout leader has taken over him in the moment and he has responded in a human way perhaps but not within the good boundaries of his leadership role. This is a situation that will happen in the young boys life as he grows older however it is not one to just accept. It is one where he can assert himself and say - it is not ok to hit me when I don't provide the answer you want. Are there not other ways of teaching me available? I think your husband could have modelled this in the moment so your son could better learn how to respond to these situations in the future and learn what power is and isn't about.

We need leaders in the future that are more capable of managing their limitations in the moment and scouts is supposed to have a value base to it as well isn't it?

[Nomadofthehills]

Another Eagle Scout here...

I would have a chat with the scoutmaster. If he is a good one, he will understand. Also, semantics, but your son is a cub scout, not a boy scout.

Boy Scouts is much different than cub scouts. Either way, I think it is a great experience for an INT_, it teaches great social and political skills, as well as pragmatism.

[WaeV]

Originally Posted by karenann33 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

He's a bear so he had to recite the motto, do the handshake, whatever it's his first patch/badge no clue I was never a boy scout. It wasn't directly in front of the class the instructor pulled him to the side to do this while the other boys worked on knots. I agree that there is no reason for my son to be grilled for several minutes. My suggestion is to let dh or I ask the questions and just let the instructor supervise to see that he has in fact met the requirements. I have no problem with that. They say they need and will take all the volunteers they can get so they let parents stay. Most don't so this isn't an issue. Another tidbit is this instructor is a rookie cop who works with my dh (he's a lieutenant) so yes he does want him to be assistant scoutmaster. We are very involved with our kids so unless they want us gone or we aren't allowed to stay (like in my dd's girl scouts) we stay. The boy scouts are cool in that they have a monkey den for my daughters to go to if they want. They love it. Dh says its nothing like it was when he was a kid. Now it's more family friendly and all that wants to can stay and attend.

Ah, he's in Cub Scouts. So you say he was pulled aside and tested on the requirements to advance from bear? In this case a "grilling" sounds perfectly acceptable. If your son had been doing pretty well and seemed as though he may pass, then it is also perfectly acceptable for this to take more than a few minutes. If your son didn't show signs of knowing enough material to pass, it isn't right to continue to put pressure on him. Determining if the scout knows enough to pass can be difficult, however, so I don't hold that against him too badly. Striking a scout would be out of line. It may have been in jest, but that really isn't appropriate.

Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts are quite different in important ways for important reasons. Cub Scouts is run in smaller groups separated by year and led by an adult. Boy Scouts is run as a larger group with the older boys leading the younger boys.

I'm not so sure about Cub Scouts, but in Boy Scouts I would consider it unacceptable for a scout to be tested by his parents, even if a scoutmaster observed. It's sort of a progression: Leadership from parents -> leadership from other adults -> leadership from boys -> leadership with / from peers -> leader.

[Amphorian]

Under no circumstances should a leader in such a position be allowed to "physically" harm your child. That was beyound called for and needs to be addressed ASAP. The man shouldn't just get a talking to, but should be reported.

The rights to give discipline actions involving physical means is granted only to the parents or guardians of the child and is quite limited. Or the parents may grant permission to caretakers (such as light taps on the buttox). Whacking a child upside the head repeatedly is abuse.

Add-on after further reading: Even if it was light with non heavy paper or in jest it is still inappropiate and should be reported. Why? The man can't control himself properly and could go further one day with someone else. Just because you trust him and he seems okay doesn't mean people don't have bad days and can snap severely or begin having personal problems that change their personalities/behavior.

[Evangelist]

Now, here is my advice from a teacher. No one in authority should ever put their hands, or book on a child. The boy scout leader stepped over a line that could carry some liability if it gets out of hand. I am in management in my school so I supervise under my principal. That could be grounds for termination if he has a history of being slightly abusive. If I were his boss, I would be looking at limiting his role with children or looking for someone else.

[brdmadgrl82]

This guy sounds nuts to me. I believe in boys learning to deal and handle problems at a young age but he really sounds nuts. I agree, I would not allow him to put his hands on the child...in the long run this might cause more damage and cause him to rebel against such a structured/militant system...Can you find another boys scouts? Did you even ask if it is something he wants to do and stick with? Let him make a choice...what interests him?

[Cicatrix]

Just out of interest, are you wanting your child to handle these type of situations or try and shelter him from them.

If your child hadnt been in tears would you be thinking about this situation differently?

[Godzilligan]

I'm sure being hit on the head was no joke to your son. This was a public shaming act on the leaders part.

This is not something that your son needs to learn to deal with, but to learn to not tolerate.

[Uytuun]

	Originally Posted by karenann33 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	How would you handle this?

Don't send your INTJ child to boy scouts. There are lots of other things he can do that will challenge him, but not to a level that fully undermines him...cut him some slack, don't overdo the typical INTJ need for improvement, preparation and perfection at his expense.

	Originally Posted by LionsPride To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	If it's not a scout master it will be a teacher or university professor, a supervisor...

I don't know what your scouts leaders are like, but our teachers and professors can't be compared to them.

It has a similar vibe to the army in way...ESTP hazing techniques, proving how tough you are, grilling, intimidation, it's overwhelmingly ESP. At least here. So if it's the same...I just wonder what the likelihood is of him meeting this situation again in an organised way and to such an extent (unless he joins the army...)...also seeing as he won't naturally gravitate to it because of his nature. What's the use?

[Nomadofthehills]

There are plenty of children his age who would not have responded negatively to a playful bob on the head. Most in fact, would understand. This is not "laying a hand" on a child.

Obviously the scoutmaster needs to understand that some of his children have special needs, and he needs to be much more perceptive. Education is key here.