[Jgib5328]

My general facial expression is somtimes so sharp that I really intimidate people, especially women. Like I'm not even trying to look mad and am usually not in any particular mood, but on several occasions people (complete strangers) have said, "you look like you could kill someone". I mean I like it like this because I think it's really cool, but I realize that eventually I'm going to have to fix this, because I can't go around intimidating people, because they are necessary to achieve the things that I want, unfortunately.

Do any of you guys have this problem? I sometimes try injecting more emotion into myself and try to 'soften' up, but that requires effort and I only do it when I have to, usually things that are related to achieving my goals. I honestly HATE the idea of having to change myself for other people. I just can't wait till I attain enough power so that I can do whatever the hell I want and no longer have to appease other people.

Oh well, what are your thoughts?

[skm]

I have the same problem. the best way that i have found to get around this is to focus in on something in the situation that i really like, this sometimes will make my expression seem 'normal' to other people, i would be interested if anyone had a better solution though.

[Solaris]

I seem utterly unable to control emotional expression on my face. My neutral face sometimes has made people think I was annoyed or bored, when I was really just thinking. However, whatever I'm feeling seems to always be right there on my face for anyone who cares to see it, or can interpret it. This is not always good.

[Jgib5328]

	Originally Posted by Solaris To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I seem utterly unable to control emotional expression on my face. My neutral face sometimes has made people think I was annoyed or bored, when I was really just thinking. However, whatever I'm feeling seems to always be right there on my face for anyone who cares to see it, or can interpret it. This is not always good.

Too bad you're not an INTJ, you'd be able to hide your emotions and what you are thinking.

[skm]

I find that my face tends to misrepresent my emotion frequently. so nothing is really hidden it is just miscommunicated

[Solaris]

	Originally Posted by Jgib5328 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Too bad you're not an INTJ, you'd be able to hide your emotions and what you are thinking.

Oh, I can hide what I am thinking just fine. I cannot hide my true emotions from F types though (Ts never notice). Darn observant NFs!!

If, for my own sake, I must hide something, I am fantastic at it. I just usually don't care to put the required effort into it. For instance, I don't give a damn if people know when I'm angry, so I don't care if it shows.

[skm]

I posted on another topic about this but i figured it is worth re stating. people tend to tell me to smile a lot, i guess they assume that it is an implied thing that people who are not smiling are pissed which is not the case 99% of the time. I smile when there is something worth smiling over. It really gets on my nerves especially when someone makes it a personal mission to get me to smile.

[Jgib5328]

	Originally Posted by skm To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I posted on another topic about this but i figured it is worth re stating. people tend to tell me to smile a lot, i guess they assume that it is an implied thing that people who are not smiling are pissed which is not the case 99% of the time. I smile when there is something worth smiling over. It really gets on my nerves especially when someone makes it a personal mission to get me to smile.

Omg I hate when people do this to me. They always say "why aren't you smiling?" "You should smile more?" "What's wrong? Why aren't you smiliing?" I see no point in smiling if I don't want to. I only smile if I feel like smiling, I'm not going to force it.

[Aoiluna]

	Originally Posted by skm To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I smile when there is something worth smiling over. It really gets on my nerves especially when someone makes it a personal mission to get me to smile.

Im with you on that 100%.


I am never aware of my facial expressions until someone tells me or I look into a mirror. I do have the ability to keep it unreadable though when I want to. I have troubles faking expressions, though.

[skm]

There are certain people out there who seem to be incapable of relating with someone unless they smile, i have never understood why this is but it is difficult to interact with these sort of people unless the situation for whatever reason is one where i am inclined to smile.

[xhaan]

I get this too, and I think it's made worse just by my facial structure, having high cheekbones, a large brow, and a square jaw... I think it tends to make me look 'pissed off' even when I'm not.

Heh, the irony is, when people don't say I look 'crazy' or 'angry', they say I look like Jesus.

[stasis]

I don't have very much experience intimidating people with my expression, but I am repeatedly told that I am "difficult to read." Meaning, my expression is often too close to blank and my voice too close to monotone. Or something? I guess that's what that means. While this may or may not be true when dealing with people I'm not very comfortable with, I would not say it is the case amongst the more familiar.

And I agree with the sentiment expressed above, about people demanding a smile for no reason. That is irritating. Especially when they won't drop it with prudence, at which point the repeated request becomes patronizing. I have however heard the prompt for constant smiling called more of a North American phenomenon; contrasted to, for example, Japan?

[Zilal]

I'm frequently asked "what's wrong?" I have no idea what they see in my face though. Someday I'll have to remember to ask... "Why, what do I look like?"

[skm]

	Originally Posted by stasis To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	And I agree with the sentiment expressed above, about people demanding a smile for no reason. That is irritating. Especially when they won't drop it with prudence, at which point the repeated request becomes patronizing. I have however heard the prompt for constant smiling called more of a North American phenomenon; contrasted to, for example, Japan?

From what I understand in japan it would probably simply be considered rude and they wouldn't say anything about it which in my opinion would be worse. I would guess that the culture in Germany and Switzerland would be more accepting.

[Jgib5328]

	Originally Posted by skm To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	From what I understand in japan it would probably simply be considered rude and they wouldn't say anything about it which in my opinion would be worse. I would guess that the culture in Germany and Switzerland would be more accepting.

It would be rude to do what in Japan? Smile a lot or not smile enough?

[the natural]

	Oh, I can hide what I am thinking just fine. I cannot hide my true emotions from F types though (Ts never notice). Darn observant NFs!!

NF's always tell me I'm "difficult to read." I've stopped worrying about it and just learned to enjoy it, if you give an NF too much of yourself to work with they will ruthlessly dissect you. If you like, you can let them know you've been listening by repeating back something they've said earlier in the conversation, this lets them know that you are engaged and in the conversation.

With S's, I've read that when an S is in the presence of an INTJ, the S feels like the INTJ can "see right through them" - especially what they are trying to hide. I've definitely been in this situation. I try not to be too sadistic with it, but it's definitely useful for gaining advantage in business situations.

Must....struggle....to use powers...for....good...

[Merle]

I frequently get told.. mainly by strangers in the street...stuff like "it's alright it might never happen", "smile love, it's not the end of the world" etc etc... it used to annoy me... it doesn't really bother me now, come to think of it, it doesn't happen so often now... maybe I've unconcsiously shifted my natural stern expression...or maybe it's become so severe that even the people that would have said something before are intimidated now lol

[Jgib5328]

Originally Posted by the natural To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

NF's always tell me I'm "difficult to read." I've stopped worrying about it and just learned to enjoy it, if you give an NF too much of yourself to work with they will ruthlessly dissect you. If you like, you can let them know you've been listening by repeating back something they've said earlier in the conversation, this lets them know that you are engaged and in the conversation. With S's, I've read that when an S is in the presence of an INTJ, the S feels like the INTJ can "see right through them" - especially what they are trying to hide. I've definitely been in this situation. I try not to be too sadistic with it, but it's definitely useful for gaining advantage in business situations. Must....struggle....to use powers...for....good...

Where did you get this article? Can you send me a link please?





Jgib5328 added to this post, 1 minutes and 19 seconds later...

Originally Posted by Merle To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I frequently get told.. mainly by strangers in the street...stuff like "it's alright it might never happen", "smile love, it's not the end of the world" etc etc... it used to annoy me... it doesn't really bother me now, come to think of it, it doesn't happen so often now... maybe I've unconcsiously shifted my natural stern expression...or maybe it's become so severe that even the people that would have said something before are intimidated now lol

I think it's so obnoxious when random people say things like that to you. I hate when they do it to me, it's like "I don't even fucking know you". You usually don't say things like the to people you aren't familiar with.

[Uytuun]

Generally pretty unreadable. But I blush easily. Which kind of sucks.

[skm]

	Originally Posted by Jgib5328 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It would be rude to do what in Japan? Smile a lot or not smile enough?

It would be rude to not smile, especially when meeting someone for the first time or in polite company.

[xhaan]

Originally Posted by Merle To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I frequently get told.. mainly by strangers in the street...stuff like "it's alright it might never happen", "smile love, it's not the end of the world" etc etc... it used to annoy me... it doesn't really bother me now, come to think of it, it doesn't happen so often now... maybe I've unconcsiously shifted my natural stern expression...or maybe it's become so severe that even the people that would have said something before are intimidated now lol

I find people who do this sort of thing do have a tendency to 'cheer' me, if I'm not being rigid and just accept their good intentions. I often find myself smiling because of it, when I don't let it annoy me.

[OneBadMother]

People ask me what's wrong every once in a while when I'm perfectly fine. Unless tone of voice gives me away, I'm almost never caught when I'm actually feeling out of sorts.

My INTJ friend has the habit of staring into space when he's thinking and the habit of furrowing his brow when he's thinking. These two things combined make it so that whenever he zones out while sitting across from someone, it'll look like he's staring angrily at them. I know better, but I wonder if he ever gets any comments on that from others.

[bubbles]

Maybe you're just stressed. I'm stressed out a lot of the time and I don't even notice. When I'm stressed, no matter how relaxed I feel at the moment, my facial expression displays that emotionless expression. People have commented about my "stone-face" too. It's hard for me to force a fake smile a lot of times, but it is relatively easy for me to smile when greeting someone I want to see.

I see through fake smiles pretty easily, and most people do not. That's probably why they expect smiles everywhere. It bothers me when people are forcing themselves to be happy and smiling, and those people tend to repel me even though what they're doing is considered "polite."

[Obstinate]

In the words of Elliott Smith:

"You should crack a smile, once in a while. It makes you pretty"

Basically, smiling helps.

[INTJoe]

Yes, I've gotten all these comments from people. It doesn't bother me much. They are pretty shallow people for not understanding that some of us actually ponder things when in the presence of shallow people who are in no way interesting.

I used to have a manager at the grocery store who would INCESSANTLY walk by me and go "Smiiiiiiile Joe..." and he was a dude. Like I'm just supposed to stand in front of my register and FUCKING SMILE the whole time!? Why???? I'm at work. If I saw some teenager smiling while working at the grocery store I would feel sorry for them.

Without fail..."Smiiiiiiiile, Joe.....smiiiiiiiiiiiile."

REGARDLESS of the fact that I was about twice as fast at ringing up groceries and worked harder than most of the cashiers and NEVER had complaints from customers. I was always diplomatic in settling disputes and would do so in a timely manner. In my opinion I'm not there to entertain the customers, but to get them in and out as fast as possible while still providing better-than-average service, minimum.

So if anyone knows big, fat, idiot Mike McAuliffe with the Safeway Co. (formerly Randalls) in Texas, bring his head to me on a stick.

Although one day he did catch me reading a magazine in the aisle when I was supposed to be returning goods to the shelf. HAHAHA. I was totally busted, but he just said "good magazine?" and kept walking. I knew he couldn't fire me...I was not easily replaceable.