[Josephine1012]

I'm a strong believer that we should strive for balance. Assuming that emotions don't exist completely is inaccurate, to say the least. They do: people get their feelings hurt, they love, they hate, they're happy, sad, confused, etc. But at the same time it's important to recognize our differences too. Not following your emotions does not make you a computer, no more than following your emotions makes you crazy. We're just different.

It's a spectrum. It is not particularly healthy to be at either end, and it's not the best idea to have that "It's my way or the highway" attitude.

Some people are more vulnerable than other people and yet they live in a very rich world as a compensating factor. If you care about someone who is vulnerable, than use your T a little harder not to upset their F. It's not all that inconceivable, if you break a promise a person who was hoping to see you will be upset. If someone misunderstood you and thought that you've made that promise (when you didn't) acknowledge that they are upset even though it was a misunderstanding. They still feel hurt. It may not be rational to you, but it's real to them. And if you two are going to play together than it would be good to make a mutual effort.

On the other hand, if you're afflicted with hyper F, try to understand that things aren't always as they seem. Sometimes you may feel things that don't have a real connection to reality. It may be connected to YOUR reality, but you're the only one who sees it. Try to be fair and don't expect to have everyone accommodate you. It's a give and take situation.

I find that taking a deep breathe when someone upsets you and not acting on those emotions immediately, but removing yourself from the situation for a bit, helps tremendously to clear your head. T or not people don't like to be accused of being monsters (or robots) and trying to hurt you on purpose. You can't take such a solipsistic view, that your reality is the only valid kind.

[curiousgeorge01]

Originally Posted by seaswan To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

1. Several times I expressed my emotional feeling to INTJ but he seemed to be very mad about it. The more I do so, the more it leads INTJ to believe that I am "crazy". I felt I was expressing my emotion to a "wall". 2. There seems to be an "On/Off" switch in INTJ's head, where they can turn off there emotions pretty quick with no baggage. For me there is no such thing. It takes me a long period of transition time to move from "On" to "Off", or on some subjects my emotions towards them would last forever, believe it or not, it is forever to me. 3.When we were together I would bring a piece of his cloth to travel with me to "remember" him; when he threw away a shirt that we bought together I would feel "hurt"; when we broke up I wanted to give his gifts to me back to him because whenever I see them again it would hurt me so much. And these such and such would surprise INTJ so much, his reaction is telling me don't attach myself to an "object". To me I can be easily attached to an "object" which may have certain emotional connections. And I don't think he understand the meaning of being attached to an "object".

Well I can't speak for everyone but usually I try to play the role of an observer as long as possible even if I'm in a dangerous situation. I suppose you could attribute 'coldness' to it because I try my best to see myself and my life as a movie and react accordingly to what I think the future would hold. So I don't have an on/off switch, I just try to keep it off as long as possible.

As for the third part of your inquiry, it is a bit insensitive to throw away a shirt you guys bought together unless it was really torn. However regarding giving stuff back to me after breaking up, I would deem YOU insensitive because I gave them to you when we were in love. That's just the logic part of me speaking.

I dated an ISFJ once and she was sensitive and I always thought she was nuts because everything just seemed like it was from left field. I remember one time she was fed up with work because she was putting in 12 hr days and she complained everyday to me. I told her if you really hate it that much then quit. After those long days were over, she called me immature for saying that and I asked why. She said the people she worked with were 'mature' and told her to suck it up. I was so pissed I yelled "well it doesn't make a difference if you suck it up if you end up jumping off a roof!" Things like that where her discernment was poor and making accusatory statement really pissed me off.

[seaswan]

Originally Posted by curiousgeorge01 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I dated an ISFJ once and she was sensitive and I always thought she was nuts because everything just seemed like it was from left field. I remember one time she was fed up with work because she was putting in 12 hr days and she complained everyday to me. I told her if you really hate it that much then quit. After those long days were over, she called me immature for saying that and I asked why. She said the people she worked with were 'mature' and told her to suck it up. I was so pissed I yelled "well it doesn't make a difference if you suck it up if you end up jumping off a roof!" Things like that where her discernment was poor and making accusatory statement really pissed me off.

Thanks for your reply. So if you don't mind me asking, was this difference in seeing the reality a major factor why you break up? (sounds like you are not together with her now)

Now I see that INTJ has a stronger ability to understand the objective reality. They can seperate negtive emotions from emotions and get rid of it.

[Josephine1012]

Originally Posted by curiousgeorge01 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I dated an ISFJ once and she was sensitive and I always thought she was nuts because everything just seemed like it was from left field. I remember one time she was fed up with work because she was putting in 12 hr days and she complained everyday to me. I told her if you really hate it that much then quit. After those long days were over, she called me immature for saying that and I asked why. She said the people she worked with were 'mature' and told her to suck it up. I was so pissed I yelled "well it doesn't make a difference if you suck it up if you end up jumping off a roof!" Things like that where her discernment was poor and making accusatory statement really pissed me off.

This is EXACTLY what I'm talking about, I think a lot of times emotional people presume that being emotional gives you free rein on demonstrating all of your negative emotions, and then to top it off they call people who don't want to deal with that shit robots. I'm an F myself, but I most certainly would not want to have someone get upset with me all the time because I don't tell them what they want to hear, it doesn't feel good to constantly be in the position of accused (especially if your F significant other booby traps pretty much ever question they ask or statement they make). I know how people feel most of the time and I'm pretty good at avoiding land mines like that in real life, but the attitude still offends my sensibilities. If you just want to vent, then tell your T you're just venting and you know they don't have a solution for you... If they are a T they will likely assume you're looking for advice when you're venting. If you start "venting" without identifying it as such and it results in unpleasant advice, remind yourself that it was solicited by your complaining.

It isn't the other person's fault for not wanting to take the blame for every little thing, it's the fault of the person who really enjoys airing out their emotional dirty laundry.

To OP: your posts have a bit of accusatory tone to them, I'm not sure if it's intentional or I'm just reading into it. It seems really unfair to expect others to accommodate you. It's also isn't right to assume that someone is a "machine" or a "robot" in the same breath as you take offense to being called "crazy".

[bunny]

what i learned as a child was that my emotions left me open to be prey to the worlds predators.
Is this what you want to be?

When you let people into your open/feeling heart-on-your-sleeve you invite complete disrespect and the knowledge that the other person "has you". People from ALL MBTI test types can be rude and insensitive but INTJS have hearts and emotions and feelings. However, when faced with an obstacle they make logical decisions to avoid disaster. This way you can focus on other aspects on life instead of moaning and complaining about someone hurting your feelings. What one does is toughen up, realize the world does not owe you niceness and be honest with yourself. A man who is INTJ will love you and work hard to respect you, a man that does not, even if he is ESFP will not.
Simply put: its not the personality type, its the individual

[curiousgeorge01]

	Originally Posted by seaswan To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Thanks for your reply. So if you don't mind me asking, was this difference in seeing the reality a major factor why you break up? (sounds like you are not together with her now) Now I see that INTJ has a stronger ability to understand the objective reality. They can seperate negtive emotions from emotions and get rid of it.

I'm sorry I didn't understand your question. What difference in reality? Yes we're not together anymore, it didn't last very long.

Don't get me wrong INTJ are capable of feeling negative emotions, but for the most part, I just notice they try to remain as objective as possible until they're forced into not being objective. This is usually when someone gets accusatory with them or starts name calling. Here's another example:

My ENFP friend wanted to build a computer but it was complicated and he has to order parts and another friend of mine would have to build it. I told him to stop wasting time and buy a pre-made one because the cost would be similar but it wouldn't take time to build it nor do you have to deal with the hassle if a part is wrong or faulty. He came up with a bunch of arguments that didn't really make much sense (I think he was FEELING that he wanted a homemade computer but wouldn't say it outright), the main one was that he wanted to learn something by building it. I replied there's no point in building it yourself if the costs are the same and you're not going to build another one for 6 years! It's pretty much useless knowledge because of lack of practice. I think he got fed up and called ME illogical! At that point I got pissed and said you know what I'm just trying to help you save time and other people time but do whatever you want!

I would've had much more respect if he had stated what he had wanted instead of trying to rationalize his feelings and hide them behind some guise of learning. If I had known that's how he FELT I wouldn't have argued with him because I know that's not something I could change.





curiousgeorge01 added to this post, 0 minutes and 58 seconds later...

Originally Posted by Josephine1012 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I know how people feel most of the time and I'm pretty good at avoiding land mines like that in real life, but the attitude still offends my sensibilities. If you just want to vent, then tell your T you're just venting and you know they don't have a solution for you... If they are a T they will likely assume you're looking for advice when you're venting. If you start "venting" without identifying it as such and it results in unpleasant advice, remind yourself that it was solicited by your complaining. It isn't the other person's fault for not wanting to take the blame for every little thing, it's the fault of the person who really enjoys airing out their emotional dirty laundry.

Right-O!

[Josephine1012]

That's actually precisely what I do when I want something from a T. I say it. I don't make a big mystery out of it. But I say that it's important to me, though it may not be rational, I really want it anyways. They usually cave with a sigh and an eye roll. Just sayin' Naturally, I'm always willing to humor my Ts in return
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[curiousgeorge01]

Originally Posted by Josephine1012 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

That's actually precisely what I do when I want something from a T. I say it. I don't make a big mystery out of it. But I say that it's important to me, though it may not be rational, I really want it anyways. They usually cave with a sigh and an eye roll. Just sayin' Naturally, I'm always willing to humor my Ts in return To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Haha! Yes you're much more likely to get far with an INTJ by just saying you want it as opposed to trying to rationalize it. I think most people mistake FEELINGS for LOGIC and INTJs (I would think most NTs) argue with whatever you say.


This distinction actually might help the OP a lot: You know the saying "Look at a person and read how he feels not what he is saying?" INTJs think opposite, they look at what you're saying and not trying to read how you feel. So be careful what you say!

[seaswan]

	Originally Posted by Josephine1012 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	To OP: your posts have a bit of accusatory tone to them, I'm not sure if it's intentional or I'm just reading into it. It seems really unfair to expect others to accommodate you. It's also isn't right to assume that someone is a "machine" or a "robot" in the same breath as you take offense to being called "crazy".

I'm new to this forum, this is my first thread. So when you say OP does it mean me? I don't see anybody named OP.
Well I don't think it's offensive to assume some INTJ as "machine" or "robot", at least not the INTJ I know of. He took pride in it. He wore robot T-shirt, watch robot movie, read robot news, etc. He would dress up like a robot in holloween so if he knows i think he is a maga robot he would take pride in it :-p. (Do you all like the movie "Iron Man"?) I don't mind to be called crazy either. If that's who I am, that's who I am. I take pride in being the way I am no matter how you call it. So it's you that are sensitive to these words. I am not accusing anybody. I might have use some extreme words but I don't use these words for their negtive meanings.

[Therion]

I'm not completely sure about other INTJs so I'll just speak for myself. Emotions are a confusing concept and my mind's reaction is usually delirium. I think we just can't grasp the concept that no matter how hard we think about it, emotions are something that no one is ever going to fully understand. They are there, other creatures don't have them, and no matter how hard we suppress them, they never go away.

Believe it or not I am a very sensitive person. You'd probably never be able to tell unless you could read my mind. All of my emotions are focused internally. I most definitely have an On/Off switch and I very rarely turn it on unless it's around someone I trust almost as much as myself.. hahaha...
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[User1]

@seaswan: Yes, you are the OP in this thread.

...also...,I think that Josephine was reffering to your post in responce to the statement that emotions are perceptions. I could be wrong, but it seems like you took offense at that statement and went on the defensive. Hence the accuratory tone.

[rickster]

Originally Posted by seaswan To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

This is rediculous. Are you saying emotions is not REALITY? When people say "follow your heart" they mean follow your emotions so that you know what you really want. THERE IS ANOTHER WORLD PARALLEL TO "REALITY"--that is the world of emotions. It is in our heart and it's REAL. In your example the "fact" this person got hurt can be checked by his rising blood presure, his stronger heart beat, his angry memory towards you so next time he will not invite you come over anymore, etc.--if you really want me to tranlate it into an "INTJ language". Emotions has its own world and own language, my opinion is that it can't be translated into biological fact like genes and cells. But if that is the way to make you understand, I will explain it that way. Human body is its own system, which is different than stones and computers. There is a movie called "What the Bleep Do We Know!?" which shows more details in motion picture of the biological reaction of emotions. You can check it out if you like.

Yes that's exactly what I'm saying. "Following your emotions" is as no less unreasonable a life philosophy as many I've heard, but it shows about as much direction and INTJ thought and language as imagining you're Batman. At least with Batman you have a comic with pictures and text for reference.

You have only demonstrated that some temporary physical changes can occur as a result of emotions. You have not demonstrated that emotions are "real" or in any way sustainable or have any ongoing value at all. You have presented your "parallel world of emotions" as subjective drivel based entirely on perceptions with no underpinning values; which just drives home my point of the unlikelihood of emotions being in any way trustworthy.

Show me an emotion. Get an emotion on a petri dish. Show me a picture of an emotion.

[Josephine1012]

	Originally Posted by rickster To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Show me an emotion. Get an emotion on a petri dish. Show me a picture of an emotion.

ha! Well emotions are intangible, I don't think we need to prove that they are little gnomes or mucous matter. But, it's all in the choices YOU make, if you choose to be around someone who is completely logical and never shows any kind of emotion, then kudos to you, but... if you're stuck with one of us feelers, then I'm willing to meet you half way. It's not fair to ask any one of the people to change who they are, but when people are different yet want to get along it's ok to compromise a little. Thing to realize even though emotions are intangible they are here to stay, so just accept them as weather if you can, and don't forget to bring an umbrella. Meanwhile, if it gets too stormy you are always free to leave.

[rickster]

Originally Posted by Josephine1012 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

ha! Well emotions are intangible, I don't think we need to prove that they are little gnomes or mucous matter. But, it's all in the choices YOU make, if you choose to be around someone who is completely logical and never shows any kind of emotion, then kudos to you, but... if you're stuck with one of us feelers, then I'm willing to meet you half way. It's not fair to ask any one of the people to change who they are, but when people are different yet want to get along it's ok to compromise a little. Thing to realize even though emotions are intangible they are here to stay, so just accept them as weather if you can, and don't forget to bring an umbrella. Meanwhile, if it gets too stormy you are always free to leave.

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Of course emotions are intangible. Of course they exist. And they figure HEAVILY in this INTJs psyche, believe it or not. I've probably made way too many logic-defying decisions based on my feelings and nothing else. Some have had great outcomes, some haven't. But one of my best-learned lessons re emotions has been not about denying them, but simply not trusting them or relying on their permanence or having factual enough value to act upon.

Being diagnosed as an INTJ is much the same as looking at your star sign: you see great general qualities which may apply to you, and you see possibly relevant "things you need to work on". For me, being a grown-up INTJ meant learning to understand the transitory aspect of my emotions, and seeing that my feelings about myself and others were highly unreliable.

A lot of my emotions were actually obstructions to love - especially the love of others. Now I know all about flirting, and I've become an incorrigible flirt. Now I know about the value of small-talk, and I can actually deal with it without feeling emotions of intense hostility. They're just a couple of instances where my "Does it work?" mantra has caused me to really evaluate my emotions, and pay more attention to a bigger picture, because there always is one.

[Josephine1012]

Originally Posted by rickster To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Of course emotions are intangible. Of course they exist. And they figure HEAVILY in this INTJs psyche, believe it or not. I've probably made way too many logic-defying decisions based on my feelings and nothing else. Some have had great outcomes, some haven't. But one of my best-learned lessons re emotions has been not about denying them, but simply not trusting them or relying on their permanence or having factual enough value to act upon. Being diagnosed as an INTJ is much the same as looking at your star sign: you see great general qualities which may apply to you, and you see possibly relevant "things you need to work on". For me, being a grown-up INTJ meant learning to understand the transitory aspect of my emotions, and seeing that my feelings about myself and others were highly unreliable. A lot of my emotions were actually obstructions to love - especially the love of others. Now I know all about flirting, and I've become an incorrigible flirt. Now I know about the value of small-talk, and I can actually deal with it without feeling emotions of intense hostility. They're just a couple of instances where my "Does it work?" mantra has caused me to really evaluate my emotions, and pay more attention to a bigger picture, because there always is one.

I completely agree with you. Feeling something isn't a justification for acting like a *bleep*. So my only point is (not directed at you), is that sometimes when we feel something very strongly, we need someone else to recognize that what we feel is there and sort of be at least a tiny bit considerate of it.

I strongly believe that you can't expect someone to share your emotions, but it's nice when people don't dismiss the ones you have (especially when they are caused by legitimate combination of circumstances).

[rickster]

Originally Posted by Josephine1012 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I completely agree with you. Feeling something isn't a justification for acting like a *bleep*. So my only point is (not directed at you), is that sometimes when we feel something very strongly, we need someone else to recognize that what we feel is there and sort of be at least a tiny bit considerate of it. I strongly believe that you can't expect someone to share your emotions, but it's nice when people don't dismiss the ones you have (especially when they are caused by legitimate combination of circumstances).

Now we're talkin'. One of my first salvos fired here was on the importance of responding respectfully to the feelings of others without dismissing them or their feelings. And most importantly, to understand there's probably something else going on if they're angry. I detest that "It's your problem" crap.

The example transaction I posted early in this thread was an example of how acting on wrong feelings is just wrong. I'm not saying the scenario responses are my recommendations, but I'd certainly be feeling manipulated if I heard a crock of shit like that.

btw your RL avatar is really lovely.
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[seaswan]

	Originally Posted by rickster To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Show me an emotion. Get an emotion on a petri dish. Show me a picture of an emotion.

Human beings have 5 senses: Seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching. But there are things in the universe that human beings can not sense. We can not "sense" it does not mean a certain thing does not exist. It only means we have not find a way to "translate" it into an sensible form for us. For example, dolphins can detect ultrasound while we can't. So if some infomation comes in ultrasound format a dolphin knows what it means but human wouldn't know. However, we can receive those signals by the help of machines.

Emotion is something that can not be captured by common means. You can not put it on a petri dish (can you put Hydrogen on a petri dish?). Artists have put emotions on a canvas, so an art work would be a picture of emotions. The art work is artist's own translation, different artist translate it into different pictures. So you can not capture emotions using a camera. (Can you capture altrasound by a camera?)

If you think emotions are a destructive force and are of no significant value, that just answers my question. This is exactly what I want to know. I want to know how INTJ would think of emotions, thus it could help me to explain some of the INTJ behaviors. I am trying to understand INTJ and hopefully have a better communication. It is as difficult for you to understand emotions as for me to understand the "T".

Different people have different attitudes towards emotions, so I have no intention to argue about the difference. My intention is to learn the difference.

[User1]

It seems as though you have already made up your mind and only started this thread in order to bait someone into saying something you can hold on to and use to justify your view of how INTJs view emotions.

It would be easier to ''learn'' something if you could ignore your instinct to be overly defensive, valid as it may be.

[Josephine1012]

I think the one thing that's tripping you out about all of this, emotions are deeply personal things. What exists for you in the realm of emotions is not what exists for me and it's different from what rickstern is sensing. No two people will feel exactly the same way, ever. I think the point he was trying to make is you can not quantify something, therefore you can not use it as an objective means to solve a problem.

You may feel something, but it has a unique significance to you. And a similar situation would arise different feelings in someone else. Also, emotional response is not permanent. It is not a fact, as E = mc^2 is currently considered fact. That equation will be the same tomorrow as it was today, but your feeling may change.

I'm with you that we should all respect each others difference and approaches, but you have to realize that an emotional approach can not be used identically by multiple people.

It sounds like your INTJ was not very respectful of your emotions and that's his personal thing. People can respect one another without viewing the world in exactly the same way.

[KalaKesar]

I believe that emotions are best when properly managed. Through experience and circumstance it becomes apparent what is proper/inappropriate, which begs whether personality is learned or inborn. I suppose my motto would be "Think before you feel."

The instance when feeling occurs before thinking is troublesome and can ruin a lovely set of plans and decimate options. Ick. No one adores a train wreck.

[jndiii]

I'm going to respond to the OP (yes, seaswan, that means you
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) in a different manner than the rest.

I think a major point of INTJ handling of emotions vs. others' is that an INTJ is emotionally prepared to accept reality. He might be erroneous about the facts, but if the facts tell him something he does not like, he accepts it. Because of this, we generally regard emotions as painful, annoying obstacles. Kind of like a stubbed toe: "Yes, I know my toe needs some rest and healing, but please, could it just stop hurting and let me just WALK now? Thanks!"

It helps to remember that the MBTI measures a preference in a useful, systematic way. INTJs prefer to think. We feel, but we don't want those feelings to make our choices haphazardly.

What I strive for is perhaps best said by Kahlil Gibran: "Your Reason and your Passion are the rudder and sails of your seafaring soul." That is to say, passion is what moves us, reason is what steers us. The pet peeve of the INTJ is the all-too-common tendency for most folks (and even we ourselves) to let passion handle both the moving and the steering.

[Squirelznflight]

This whole business of saying emotions are/are not important is rather overdone. My simple view is that, were it not for emotions, I would simply lose the motivation to do much of anything and logic would cease to be important to me. If I never used logic to make decisions, I would be subjected to an emotional roller coaster throughout my life and start hating emotion in general.

There is a balance. T versus F is about which we value more, enjoy more, and/or just use more. Ask any chess player how they feel about logic. Ask a therapist or expert on the human brain and body to rationalize emotions. The two are linked, yet definitely different. It is the way they are balanced, and in what ratio, that creates such preferences.

[Chain]

	Originally Posted by seaswan To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Now as an INFJ my attitude towards emotions is the opposite of INTJ. To me emotions are very important, there can even be situation that I made my decision based on emotional evaluation not logical. I discovered that I have a major conflict with INTJ on this subject. (I had an INTJ bf for 3 years)

Intrinsic value is garbage. Assigning value to something because you feel like it is foolish and irrational.

	Originally Posted by seaswan To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	1. Several times I expressed my emotional feeling to INTJ but he seemed to be very mad about it. The more I do so, the more it leads INTJ to believe that I am "crazy". I felt I was expressing my emotion to a "wall".

Depends on how and why you express it.

Read the INTJ manual's FAQ.

Don't expect much reciprocation. Even if we notice and understand it intellectually, reciprocating the emotion doesn't happen, at least not like you want. Accept it or move on.

	Originally Posted by seaswan To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	2. There seems to be an "On/Off" switch in INTJ's head, where they can turn off there emotions pretty quick with no baggage. For me there is no such thing. It takes me a long period of transition time to move from "On" to "Off", or on some subjects my emotions towards them would last forever, believe it or not, it is forever to me.

Emotion is as much a reaction as it is a cause. It's an event in a series. An event that requires choice, so it is not beyond a measure of control.

Originally Posted by seaswan To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

3.When we were together I would bring a piece of his cloth to travel with me to "remember" him; when he threw away a shirt that we bought together I would feel "hurt"; when we broke up I wanted to give his gifts to me back to him because whenever I see them again it would hurt me so much. And these such and such would surprise INTJ so much, his reaction is telling me don't attach myself to an "object". To me I can be easily attached to an "object" which may have certain emotional connections. And I don't think he understand the meaning of being attached to an "object".

He's right: It's completely irrational. But, it's also your choice and isn't going to change. Some people are that way.

Originally Posted by seaswan To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Over and over I was worn out by failures to communicate emotions. He is a very smart guy and a master of all the mordern technologies. It leads me to feel desperate about human future. Are we losing emotions and evolve more towards robots? I certainly see he handle his life better than me because of less drama. If evolution would choose his personality type, than human emotion would extinct. That's just my personal thought.

I repeat: Don't expect much reciprocation. Even if we notice and understand it intellectually, reciprocating the emotion doesn't happen, at least not like you want. Accept it or move on.


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	Originally Posted by seaswan To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Now my purpose of this post is to understand the other side of the story. Please tell me honestly, what is your perception and attitude about emotions? What do you think it is, do you think it is something useless, of the least importance? How would you rank the function of emotions in society?

Emotion is a drug. It's a nice break from "running numbers" and doing numerous calculations simultaneously and constantly. It can also be one Hell of a motivator if used appropriately. Unfortunately, like all "drugs" it causes more problems than it solves. I have a really hard time trying to find an empirical reason for it to exist.

	Originally Posted by seaswan To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	And if emotional communication would fail with INTJ, what is the best way to communicate with INTJ?

Stop being selfish and use that gift of being able to adapt your brainwaves and communication style to someone else's that you NF types are known for. A good start would be to throw the emotional garbage out the window. If it's working less and less the more you turn it up, it's obvious that you're turning the knob the wrong way.

[curiousgeorge01]

Originally Posted by Josephine1012 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I think the one thing that's tripping you out about all of this, emotions are deeply personal things. What exists for you in the realm of emotions is not what exists for me and it's different from what rickstern is sensing. No two people will feel exactly the same way, ever. I think the point he was trying to make is you can not quantify something, therefore you can not use it as an objective means to solve a problem. You may feel something, but it has a unique significance to you. And a similar situation would arise different feelings in someone else. Also, emotional response is not permanent. It is not a fact, as E = mc^2 is currently considered fact. That equation will be the same tomorrow as it was today, but your feeling may change. I'm with you that we should all respect each others difference and approaches, but you have to realize that an emotional approach can not be used identically by multiple people. It sounds like your INTJ was not very respectful of your emotions and that's his personal thing. People can respect one another without viewing the world in exactly the same way.

Yes that's the thing, no two people will ever experience emotions the same way. You can't expect your INTJ boyfriend to experience what you are experiencing as strongly. While emotions are real, often they are just real to the party feeling it.

To solve whatever issues you two had you need some sort of medium and usually that medium is logic and understanding. Don't expect him to just be able to read your mind which I feel like a lot of NFs do expect. I agree with Josephine in that it does not sound like he respected your feelings. Of course I don't know how you treated him so maybe his response at closing up was the natural reaction to your outpouring to prevent being 'overloaded emotionally.'

[Nightwish bob]

I can only speak for myself with regards to my emotions and how I perceive them as an INTJ. I am an expert in bottling up my emotions and storing them until required at a later date but when it comes to trying to understand other people's emotions and being sensitive about it I tend to struggle. I lack the ability to be able to comfort people when they're outwardly sad, upset, sometimes I know what to say but I usually just try to change the situation rather than deal with the emotions.

I do feel don't get me wrong, but even my own emotions I see as something that require self discipline, control and burial most of the time, I can be affectionate and emotional only with a very select number of people and anymore than that and I simply just close up. I don't want to deal with most other people's emotions they are far too undisciplined and lacking in control for my liking.

This is all in my opinion of course.
I summise with this quote;

	Emotions are alien to me. I'm a scientist.

( Show Spoiler )

Said by Spock from Startrek, fictional I know, but for me he has a point I can relate to.