View Poll Results: Which gender do you prefer to be around?
I'm male and I prefer to be around males. 45 15.52%
I'm male and I prefer to be around females. 79 27.24%
I'm female and I prefer to be around females. 9 3.10%
I'm female and I prefer to be around males. 89 30.69%
No preference. 51 17.59%
I don't know. 17 5.86%
Voters: 290. You may not vote on this poll

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Which gender do you feel more comfortable with? None
Old 06-25-2009, 09:25 PM   #1
dandylion
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I think the question is pretty straightforward, but just in case anyone's confused I'm not asking about sexual orientation.

Also, why do you feel more comfortable with people of one gender than the other, if you are more drawn to one over the other at all? Are the majority of your friends a certain gender or is it an even dichotomy?

I noticed I prefer to be around males. I seem to have a better connection with them. For instance, I have much more in common with my three roommates' boyfriends than my actual roommates. It could be because I grew up with my dad and my brothers and have a lot of male relatives. I have two sisters, but we don't really get along. Most females tend to irritate me more often than males do, but oddly enough pretty much all the friends I keep in touch with and hang out with are female. When selecting classes I try to get into ones with male instructors because for some reason, I seem to do better in male-lead classes. Most female teachers seem to be bitchy and overbearing, although a couple female ones I have now are changing my opinion on that.

I was wondering if anyone else has preferences like that.
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:31 PM   #2
Latro
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The title and poll do not seem consistent to me...
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:32 PM   #3
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  Originally Posted by dandylion
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I noticed I prefer to be around males. I seem to have a better connection with them. For instance, I have much more in common with my three roommates' boyfriends than my actual roommates. It could be because I grew up with my dad and my brothers and have a lot of male relatives. I have two sisters, but we don't really get along. Most females tend to irritate me more often than males do, but oddly enough pretty much all the friends I keep in touch with and hang out with are female. When selecting classes I try to get into ones with male instructors because for some reason, I seem to do better in male-lead classes. Most female teachers seem to be bitchy and overbearing, although a couple female ones I have now are changing my opinion on that.

I pretty much agree with all of that, although I also have quite a few female friends now, my comfort zone is definitely when I am hanging out with a bunch of guys than girls. I have found that women tend to intimidate me much more, I don't know why exactly. I can stand up to a guy in a confrontation than I can when it is with a girl...

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Old 06-25-2009, 09:32 PM   #4
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  Originally Posted by Latro
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The title and poll do not seem consistent to me...

What's the difference? I just worded it a little bit differently, but it's the same question... to me.

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Old 06-25-2009, 09:33 PM   #5
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  Originally Posted by dandylion
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What's the difference? I just worded it a little bit differently, but it's the same question... to me.

Not to me. Preference and comfort are not the same. If you prefer to be on edge, your preference and comfort zone will be opposite.

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Old 06-25-2009, 09:37 PM   #6
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  Originally Posted by Nightwish bob
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I pretty much agree with all of that, although I also have quite a few female friends now, my comfort zone is definitely when I am hanging out with a bunch of guys than girls. I have found that women tend to intimidate me much more, I don't know why exactly. I can stand up to a guy in a confrontation than I can when it is with a girl...

Yep. I'm not a tom boy at all, just as normally girly as the next, but I don't really feel comfortable around other girls. A lot of them seem unfriendly. Males tend to approach me more readily as well.


  Originally Posted by Latro
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Not to me. Preference and comfort are not the same. If you prefer to be on edge, your preference and comfort zone will be opposite.

But if you feel comfortable with a certain gender, wouldn't you prefer to be around them more often than the other?

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Old 06-25-2009, 09:39 PM   #7
Latro
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  Originally Posted by dandylion
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But if you feel comfortable with a certain gender, wouldn't you prefer to be around them more often than the other?

Some people would, others wouldn't. Most Is probably would, but that's beside the point.

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Old 06-25-2009, 09:52 PM   #8
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In any public gathering I gravitate towards the men - shop talk, etc. I've blamed it on not having kids of my own to talk about - the women seem to always talk about kids. The person I call my best friend is a guy, and mostly we talk about computers.
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:57 PM   #9
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  Originally Posted by Nightwish bob
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I can stand up to a guy in a confrontation than I can when it is with a girl...

I'm exactly the same way for some reason. I suppose for me it is because a lot of the females I know will likely respond in a 'bitchy' manner, which I don't really want to deal with. Guys usually take opposition better and are more likely to argue rationally... but then again, that may be me just generalizing.

I definitely prefer to be around males. I suppose its mainly because I share similar interests with them, but I just don't get most 'girly' girls anyways. From what I've been reading in this place, it seems to be a common dilemma with INTJ females. I'm the only girl like me that I know of so its good to know there are other rationally thinking females out there too.

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Old 06-25-2009, 10:00 PM   #10
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Yeah I agree with the bitchy manner... guys I think will be more straight forward if they don't like something too, whereas girls, will tend to ignore you... generalisation there please don't shoot me!

I don't get girly girls either... although worringly becoming more girly as time passes... still have yet to like pink though
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Old 06-25-2009, 10:15 PM   #11
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I'm male and I don't have a preference. However, people who fit into the extremes of gender stereotypes tend to irritate me a little, so I generally avoid them. My friends are split roughly 50/50 between the two genders, and I tend to spend more time with males purely out of my roommates all being male.
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Old 06-25-2009, 10:48 PM   #12
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I'm male, and am a typical INTJ in terms of tending to keep to myself a lot and not spend a large number of hours in any given week hanging with friends. What friends I've had have been a mix of men and women, but I'd say I have a mild preference for women. The college friendships I'd describe as being at least somewhat "close" included more women than men (and this is non-girlfriends I'm talking about).

Needless to say, this is one reason my mind boggles when posters at this forum declare that "men and women can't be friends."
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Old 06-25-2009, 11:26 PM   #13
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I definitely prefer to be around guys... I grew up a tomboy... Always playing sports and taking things apart and putting them back together. As I got older... I noticed I wasn't like the girls I was around.

I liked to talk about sports. I liked to talk about sex. I liked to crack lewd jokes. I didn't like shopping. I didn't like makeup. I pretty much didn't like anything classified as girly.
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Old 06-26-2009, 12:18 AM   #14
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Male, prefer to be around females. Not necessarily comfortable, but I prefer that.

Females, at least in my highschool band, tend to have more in common with me than males. Most males in the band tend to be your everyday horny teenager, with nothing on their mind but the next social interaction. The females tend to be more introspective, less talkative, but when we do talk, it is much more enjoyable than the mindless jabbering. This may just be a I/E balance issue within my own option of people to talk to, but opposite gender is my preferance. Of course, due to my social limitation because of a failed introverted childhood, I lack the confidence to just start a conversation with the females I prefer to be around. What little experience I have had has told me my preferance.
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Old 06-26-2009, 12:28 AM   #15
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I hear if you hang around girls you can get cooties. Doctors today are blind to the threat. I can't count on them for a vaccine or even an herbal remedy. When I discuss my apprehension with them they look at me strange. Come to think of it a lot of people look at me strange...
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Old 06-26-2009, 02:28 AM   #16
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Female, prefer the company of males.

It's a combination of shared common interests, love of debate/argument, and hatred of relational aggression.
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Old 06-26-2009, 03:34 AM   #17
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Male, with no gender preference.

I've found that I have different reasons where I'll hang out with one gender preferentially over another. Simply related to my mood at the time.
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Old 06-26-2009, 04:07 AM   #18
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Female. I'd say that I'm mostly comfortable around other females since I always feel that uncomfortable tension whenever I'm alone with a guy.

Can't say that I enjoy it. That and most friendships in the past with men (before I got smarter about it and kept them at a respectable distance) always completely failed because I treated them like I treated my female friends, only to find out that they wanted more from me than my female friends did.

tldr: Women are easier for me to understand and be around.
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Old 06-26-2009, 04:23 AM   #19
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female around males.

i DO NOT feel comfortable around females besides my INTP friend. i don't know how to deal with them and i feel i can't relate to them.
i've always felt very comfortable around guys. i'm normally in a group of all guys, around 4-5 most of the time, w/ me as the lone girl. they never treat me like "one of the guys" though. it's most of the time a "little sister" type relationship. that or romantic interest which i almost always turn down. ha.
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Old 06-26-2009, 04:45 AM   #20
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Actually, I am a female and I prefer to be around both gender. But there's no option for that.

I love to gossiping and do feminine stuff with my female friends.
I love to discussing about important topics and do outdoor activities with my male friends.
And I love to have close relationship with males and females. My bestfriends includes both gender.
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Old 06-26-2009, 04:52 AM   #21
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I don't care either way. I prefer being around people I can connect with and that's both genders.

Most of my friends are females though, as I seem to be permanently single I find too many of my male friends have tried to cross the line of friendship in the past (regardless of if either of us is in a relationship), it bothers me cause I'd like to be able to have male friends who want nothing but my friendship as if I don't reciprocate their feelings it changes everything. I'm a little suspicious with men who offer friendship, I treat them the same as I treat everyone else but if they cross that line I back off and try not to send mixed signals cause it really makes me pretty damn sad to lose a friend because they care too much and I can't offer what they want.

I just like people, they may confuse, frustrate or even annoy me but mostly they fascinate and intrigue me. People are awesome cool!
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Old 06-26-2009, 05:57 AM   #22
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  Originally Posted by dandylion
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I noticed I prefer to be around males. I seem to have a better connection with them. For instance, I have much more in common with my three roommates' boyfriends than my actual roommates. It could be because I grew up with my dad and my brothers and have a lot of male relatives. I have two sisters, but we don't really get along. Most females tend to irritate me more often than males do, but oddly enough pretty much all the friends I keep in touch with and hang out with are female. When selecting classes I try to get into ones with male instructors because for some reason, I seem to do better in male-lead classes. Most female teachers seem to be bitchy and overbearing, although a couple female ones I have now are changing my opinion on that.

.

I feel alot more comfortable around males, most of my mates are guys. Ive always found it easier to get along with guys, you dont have to constantly be on your guard and i personally feel fake around females anyhow and i dont like that feeling, i cant seem to connect with them. My best friend is female, but we both fart, burb and spit so its not the typical famale friendship.
I actually learn better in Female lead classes, i actually find bitchiness and that type of pressure very stimulating. The bitchier the teacher, the more i want to get into her/ his good books and i need that type of motivation to work well. I find strong female teachers very inspiring.

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Old 06-26-2009, 06:08 AM   #23
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I get along better with the male energy; men tend to be more logical and less prone to emotional outbursts, plus they require generally less attention and are less chatty.
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Old 06-26-2009, 06:15 AM   #24
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Male, with no real preference.
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Old 06-26-2009, 06:27 AM   #25
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I'll rather be around males. Females are to emotional for my taste, granted I have never actually met a logical woman yet
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