[The Maelstrom]

I've just been thinking about it being Father's day soon and all...

How differently do you celebrate/recognize various occasions/people?

What I mean is for example, I always send my mother a card as well as call her up, and I send my grandmothers cards as well. When it's my dad, step-dad or grandfather though, I usually just call them up and chat for a bit.

I suppose I feel the males don't value the card as much as the females... but I'm not necessarily sure I view this as gender, culture or the individuals (though it probably is a little of everything). It's just the way I am with them.

Personally I'd love to get cards from my boy, but I think as I get older I wouldn't expect it and would be just as fine with a phone call or visit.

Xmas is the occasional exception where I might send everyone a card.

What about birthdays? I usually only call or leave a FB message.

[Mader]

Any contact is good.

Yeah, Mom et al really like a pretty card - it is about you making the effort to go to the store, pick out a card, put the stamp on, etc. It is about the effort. But keep calling too.

Dads seem happy with a phone call. Hard to find a card for a Dad/Grandfather.

In the end, call trumps card.

[Pcell]

I live very far from family, so I just usually give them a call when there's a special occasion. I used to send cards, but I realized they never really gave much thought to it so I stopped sending them. I send my mom a card on Mother's day sometimes, but only when I'm feeling especially nice. My dad doesn't really care for those kind of niceties, so only a phone call works with him. Same thing goes for my grandparents, if I do give them a call. I've become estranged from most of them since I moved away.

[dalidaisy]

I don't do cards & would rather not get them (unless they are handmade by the individual). I will do something special for someone on their special day (birthday), of course, though it usually doesn't tend to be in line with the norm.

I tell my family Happy (whatever) Day on those specific occasions that fit, but rarely do more than that. I tend to skip most religious holidays & the meaningless (to me) ones, like St. Patricks Day or Cinco de May.

But, I always get roped into Christmas. My mom tells me I either have to buy the presents or she'll buy them & put a tag on them from me, but that I will be giving presents (& cards). It's simply futile to argue. Personally, I'd rather opt out of commercializing the special day of a religion to which I do not subscribe (if I did, I wouldn't do it either).

[Prunesquallor]

I hate gifts, but everyone else does them, so I do too. I mean, you can get some cool stuff, but it's such work.

So much of it is nonsensical - I mean, I'm atheist, so that disqualifies me from most holidays right there, even if they're commercialised, and the rest are pure commercial. I can sort of see birthday, but even that... And I rememeber graduation...I skipped both ceremonies because they were silly, but my parents were all 'we're so proud and excited.' It was strange. I couldn't help thinking 'I was in a four year program. It's been four years. What did you expect?" (or two years for the second degree).

I think I may tone it down to cards in a few years. I've not patience for it.

[Xanthippe]

I'm not at all fond of celebrations. I don't like getting gifts; it makes me feel indebted and weirdly guilty. (I also hate writing the obligatory thank you notes.) Picking out and giving gifts also leaves me cold. Store bought cards generally seem like a waste of $3.99 (It's a piece of printed paper! Gosh!). My mother does make everyone handmade cards for birthdays and Christmas; I could never spend so much time on something to give away, but seeing her gorgeous artwork is always the highlight of celebrations.

I have objections to Christmas on many levels - I don't mind the commercialisation as much as the house guests, the themed decorations everywhere, and the fact that I'm celebrating a religion I don't follow by engaging in the seemingly irrational practice of exchanging gifts. However, I understand that my family is obsessed with all aspects of Christmas, and that going along with it cheerfully makes a lot more sense than whining or refusing to follow social norms. Birthdays have never made much sense to me, either, but I'll go through the motions, since someone is presumably going through the same thing for my birthday. In our family, the person celebrating has to make all the calls - mostly to say thank you. We exchange small gifts on Mother's Day and Father's Day, and we have themed meals for things like Thanksgiving and Easter. We don't recognise the more miscellaneous holidays.

That said, I generally go through the motions, buying things that the recipients will like or use. As I said, my views on gift-giving are unconventional; when it comes to something that falls into the realm of good manners, it is wiser not to indulge in too many snobbish eccentricities. I am, however, looking forward to the day when eating things like candied yams and hard-boiled eggs is no longer required.

[seraphicharm]

I don't like being told when I must give people presents or cards, and usually I can't come up with anything when there's a specific holiday or occasion for it. However, I'll randomly give things to people the rest of the year if I find something they like.

Small and quality is better than overblown and huge. Greeting cards suck, unless handmade as others have said. If I have to buy one, it's blank, but even then I don't know what to say. Dinners for Thanksgiving and Christmas are too big and too much work to be enjoyable (I get saddled with most of the prep and clean-up).

[Rudy]

Store bought cards are impersonal, usually cheesey, and rarely insightful or entertaining. I will never purchase one such again.

I like to make a phone call, or a hand written, short letter. On mother's day, for example, I write a short letter telling my mother why I love her.

[runoverazebra]

I generally call people for their birthdays. I take my parents out to dinner for theirs.

Christmas is a very big deal at my house. My way of celebrating is letting everyone else do all the celebrating that they want without being too much of a Scrooge.

[Cincinnatus]

	Originally Posted by RudyHenkel To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Store bought cards are impersonal, usually cheesey, and rarely insightful or entertaining. I will never purchase one such again. I like to make a phone call, or a hand written, short letter. On mother's day, for example, I write a short letter telling my mother why I love her.

I can understand your reasons. My parents, however, eat those cards up. If the people want Cheetos, then they shall have orange fingers.

I do give them a call though.

[azelismia]

My family is disfunctional but still fairly large and close knit. we go out for dinner on everyone's birthday. we go out for dinner on other random events (mothers day and that sort of thing) religious holidays everyone hangs out at my grandmothers house.

you don't call you come over.