new as well

**mar412** · 04-23-2009, 12:58 PM

Hello all,
I'm a fiscal researcher from NC. I found out I was an INTJ 3 years ago when I took the MBTI at my school's career center. As I'm writing this, google adds is telling me that being an introvert=loser with the tagline "being yourself is not the solution. it's the problem." Thanks google. Anyway...I joined because I suppose I've having trouble reconciling peoples' expectations of me with my actual personality. As a female INTJ, in every relationship I have, I am told that I am an ice queen or that I have no emotions. Does anyone else have this problem? I'm going back to hide in my bunker now.

**echo** · 04-23-2009, 01:01 PM

I think all female INTJs have this problem. Unless they are really good at hiding it or feigning emotions.

**Monte314** · 04-23-2009, 03:29 PM

Yow!! More double-X genotypes, and folks with Barr bodies in their blood.

Welcome, miss. I'm the innocent dog, here to greet the newbies. Your avatar is lovely. And I'm not saying that to be sexist in any way... just want to make that clear. You know, lovely in an artistic sense, not in any other way. 'Cause we don't countenance anything offensive or illegal here on the Forum; that must be understood at the outset.

If I were to come off as being too forward, well... that would be it. So I'm trying to keep things on an even keel, and make you feel right at home. If you felt like I was out of line, I just don't know what I'd do.

I don't want to be on the wrong side of the rules of decorum, that's all I'm trying to say. If I am, just say so. But right now I'm pretty sure I'm not.

But let's talk about this more specifically...

*drones ON, and ON, and ON, and...*

Rudy · 04-23-2009, 04:05 PM

Welcome, mar412!

I think you'll find many who share your difficulties here. I think it's an unfortunate truth that female INTJs can receive much worse stigma for it than us men.

If you're sticking around, you can check out the rules here, and a great thread about using all the neat forum features is here.

Please, enjoy!

**spiritdetectivegirl** · 04-23-2009, 04:08 PM

Damn they're alot of you today.

Velcome, by all means.

**Stratego** · 04-23-2009, 05:09 PM

Hello Mar! Always good to have another, supposedly "rare" female INTJ. We will very shortly rule the world.

**Monte314** · 04-23-2009, 06:05 PM

... so anyway, like I was saying....

**mar412** · 04-23-2009, 07:16 PM

thanks for the welcome/the complements on the avatar. i like it too.

**Writermom** · 04-23-2009, 07:23 PM

Welcome, Mar. That is a lovely avatar. Most of the world does not understand that hiding or attempting to control emotions does not mean that we do not have them.

**Apocynum** · 04-23-2009, 07:25 PM

Welcome! To yet Another female INTJ.

And, yep, you're not alone in the emotional (or lack thereof) accusatory ward. Thankfully, that hasn't been the case in ALL my relationships, but then I don't typically call it a relationship until I'm comfortable enough with a fellow to be a little more emotionally demonstrative around him. (And I think most guys give up on me as 'uninterested' long before I get there.) *sigh* It just means that they weren't the right one, so I don't lament their departure (much).

**mdx** · 04-23-2009, 07:37 PM

Welcome! I get the same complaints that I am cold and unfeeling! You learn to understand over time that its just you. I've learned to smile more and seems to get a better rapport from people around me. I did the MBTI about 10 years ago as part of career counselling. There was an excellent book that the cousellor gave me "Do What You are". Was quite an eye opener and explaiedn quite a lot about me. Anyways, welcome!

**Synamon** · 04-23-2009, 08:00 PM

I described myself as a glacier earlier today. In a good way.

Welcome to the forum.

**echo** · 04-23-2009, 08:03 PM

There is a current thread about INTJs being accused of being cold.

http://intjforum.com/showthread.php?t=16171

**Jonathan Brewer** · 04-23-2009, 08:51 PM

Welcome to yet another female INTJ. You girls must be getting really lonely out there. Glad to have you, just the same.

**mhstar** · 04-23-2009, 09:25 PM

	Originally Posted by mar412
	As a female INTJ, in every relationship I have, I am told that I am an ice queen or that I have no emotions. Does anyone else have this problem? I'm going back to hide in my bunker now.

Welcome Mar!

Being Intj means you're an Introvert person, Introverts are shy and find it hard to express their emotions that already have a lot of it because of their iNtution.

inTj type means you depend on your Thinking and logic to make a decision, and this makes people misunderstand you, because the truth of people that they are Emothional creatures more than Logical ones.

I'm an INFP who developed Extraversion through Dale Carnegie course of Communication Skills, allowed me to express my feeling towards people frankly and in a nice way, i guess it will help you. good luck.

**rwyatt365** · 04-24-2009, 04:46 AM

Welcome mar. It's a common misconception, to mistake a measured respose as being without emotion - nothing is further from the truth. People that categorize an INTJ as being "cold" just haven't (or won't) devote the time to understanding that difference.

04-23-2009, 12:58 PM	#1
mar412 New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 44	Hello all, I'm a fiscal researcher from NC. I found out I was an INTJ 3 years ago when I took the MBTI at my school's career center. As I'm writing this, google adds is telling me that being an introvert=loser with the tagline "being yourself is not the solution. it's the problem." Thanks google. Anyway...I joined because I suppose I've having trouble reconciling peoples' expectations of me with my actual personality. As a female INTJ, in every relationship I have, I am told that I am an ice queen or that I have no emotions. Does anyone else have this problem? I'm going back to hide in my bunker now.
mar412 is offline post a comment

04-23-2009, 01:01 PM	#2
echo Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 109	I think all female INTJs have this problem. Unless they are really good at hiding it or feigning emotions.
echo is offline post a comment

04-23-2009, 03:29 PM	#3
Monte314 Core Member [407%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 16,303	Yow!! More double-X genotypes, and folks with Barr bodies in their blood. Welcome, miss. I'm the innocent dog, here to greet the newbies. Your avatar is lovely. And I'm not saying that to be sexist in any way... just want to make that clear. You know, lovely in an artistic sense, not in any other way. 'Cause we don't countenance anything offensive or illegal here on the Forum; that must be understood at the outset. If I were to come off as being too forward, well... that would be it. So I'm trying to keep things on an even keel, and make you feel right at home. If you felt like I was out of line, I just don't know what I'd do. I don't want to be on the wrong side of the rules of decorum, that's all I'm trying to say. If I am, just say so. But right now I'm pretty sure I'm not. But let's talk about this more specifically... drones ON, and ON, and ON, and...
Monte314 is online post a comment

04-23-2009, 04:05 PM	#4
Rudy Administrator MBTI: INfJ Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 21,722	Welcome, mar412! I think you'll find many who share your difficulties here. I think it's an unfortunate truth that female INTJs can receive much worse stigma for it than us men. If you're sticking around, you can check out the rules here, and a great thread about using all the neat forum features is here. Please, enjoy!
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04-23-2009, 04:08 PM	#5
spiritdetectivegirl Member [08%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 352	Damn they're alot of you today. Velcome, by all means.
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04-23-2009, 05:09 PM	#6
Stratego Veteran Member [57%] MBTI: InTJ Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 2,283	Hello Mar! Always good to have another, supposedly "rare" female INTJ. We will very shortly rule the world.
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04-23-2009, 06:05 PM	#7
Monte314 Core Member [407%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 16,303	... so anyway, like I was saying....
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04-23-2009, 07:16 PM	#8
mar412 New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 44	thanks for the welcome/the complements on the avatar. i like it too.
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04-23-2009, 07:23 PM	#9
Writermom Member [12%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 517	Welcome, Mar. That is a lovely avatar. Most of the world does not understand that hiding or attempting to control emotions does not mean that we do not have them.
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04-23-2009, 07:25 PM	#10
Apocynum Member [41%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,641	Welcome! To yet Another female INTJ. And, yep, you're not alone in the emotional (or lack thereof) accusatory ward. Thankfully, that hasn't been the case in ALL my relationships, but then I don't typically call it a relationship until I'm comfortable enough with a fellow to be a little more emotionally demonstrative around him. (And I think most guys give up on me as 'uninterested' long before I get there.) sigh It just means that they weren't the right one, so I don't lament their departure (much).
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04-23-2009, 07:37 PM	#11
mdx New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 12	Welcome! I get the same complaints that I am cold and unfeeling! You learn to understand over time that its just you. I've learned to smile more and seems to get a better rapport from people around me. I did the MBTI about 10 years ago as part of career counselling. There was an excellent book that the cousellor gave me "Do What You are". Was quite an eye opener and explaiedn quite a lot about me. Anyways, welcome!
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04-23-2009, 08:00 PM	#12
Synamon Core Member [465%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 18,616	I described myself as a glacier earlier today. In a good way. Welcome to the forum.
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04-23-2009, 08:03 PM	#13
echo Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 109	There is a current thread about INTJs being accused of being cold. http://intjforum.com/showthread.php?t=16171
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04-23-2009, 08:51 PM	#14
Jonathan Brewer Core Member [135%] MBTI: xxxx Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 5,411	Welcome to yet another female INTJ. You girls must be getting really lonely out there. Glad to have you, just the same.
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04-24-2009, 04:46 AM	#16
rwyatt365 Core Member [261%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 10,464	Welcome mar. It's a common misconception, to mistake a measured respose as being without emotion - nothing is further from the truth. People that categorize an INTJ as being "cold" just haven't (or won't) devote the time to understanding that difference.
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