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#76 | |||
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Member [31%]
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#77 | |||
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Member [02%]
MBTI: ENFP
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 115
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Deinotes, I see what you mean. My bad, I wasn't precise enough. I'm sure INTJs take more than their fair share of job-related work and household chores! I meant emotional, relational work. (Actually, knowing I'm an F, you should have logically inferred I meant that!) ;-) |
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#78 | |||
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Member [31%]
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Would it be safe to say you're observing that INTJ's might follow the same relational patterns over and over, rather than adapt to the changing dynamics of a relationship over time? Do your observations lead you to believe the INTJ is less committed to the health of the relationship than someone like yourself might be? |
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#79 | ||||||
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Core Member [142%]
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I'd like to answer this one. I find how that commitment is expressed to be quite different in INTJ's rather than any less commitment on the part of the ones I know personally. They don't seem to see the need to show how they feel and so come across as distant or not caring on the same level as others.
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#80 | ||||||
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Member [31%]
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Thanks. Very eloquent.
Even arrogant, strange, untrustworthy, encyclopedic INTJ's can be replaced? Tell me it isn't so!!!! |
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#81 | |||
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Core Member [142%]
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The truth can be so uncomfortable sometimes. {{{huggle}}} |
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#82 |
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New Member [01%]
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We never listen to people.
I'm good listener but it doesn't means I believed you. We always look upset. We do not open up to others I can handle my personal problems. We are never happy. I'm sure, I'm always happy. We are arrogant. Sometimes, I am arrogant. We are poor losers. Losers are in jail. We are insensitive to others people needs. I'm insensitive to clueless. We are strange. Because we are unique. We are untrustworthy since no one can read us. Because they think, we are untrustworthy like them. We say the weirdest things when people tell us they want to hear what we think. They want us to lie but we can't bite out tongue. We must be the spawn of Satan. Spawn with Satan? They should teach me "How To Spawn With Satan." We sound like robots. lol We are indifferent to other people. Because we are not like them. We never get anything done. Disagree. I always finish my task. We think to much. Too much brain. We are not like everyone else. I like myself. We spend to much time alone. Not me but I love being alone so I can do something like cleaning my car, home, and others then surfing online when I'm free. I don't know why I'm an INTJ? |
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#83 | ||||||||||||||||||
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Member [30%]
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Generally, if I try to organize something in a group work, an extravert comes, says that it should be done in a different way and others follow him/her, regardless of which way would have been more proficuous. So my best bet is to pick jobs I can do by myself.
I'll quote the incipit of de coniuratione catilinae to anwer that. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
If you have a problem define the terms of it when you need to. I can not spend all my day wondering how you may feel. If you are a person I barely know, your emotions are just a variable of your functionning you have to deal with. If you are somebody I care about I can not help you if you do not tell me what your problem is.
A Ni based process works best without external interference as its "motor" is internal and external elements disrupt the process. Other people's point of view may be highly interesting, but they need time to be evalued. The real problem here is introversion. After thinking about what you said an INTJ may come to agree with you without caring to communicate it. That may be disfunctional.
I call it "explaining (or defending) my point of view". Anyway, good point.
This explains why you are here. |
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#84 |
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Member [31%]
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How many INTJ's translate these statements posted by jm123:
We never listen to people. We discard dribble. We always look upset. Cleaning up after everyone else is serious stuff. We do not open up to others. We avoid giving pearls to swine. We are never happy. We are content with being indispensable. We are arrogant. We live above the fray. We are poor losers. We take no pleasure in allowing others to win. We are insensitive to others people needs. So many messes; we can only help a few. We are strange. Unique au monde. We are untrustworthy since no one can read us. We are trusted by those who get us. We say the weirdest things when people tell us they want to hear what we think. Truth is stranger than fiction. We must be the spawn of Satan. To defeat evil, one must know how it thinks. We sound like robots. We have to repeat ourselves over and over and over to get through... We are indifferent to other people. We can only save the world one person at a time. We never get anything done. See upset. We think to much. Thinking before acting saves the world every time. We are not like everyone else. See strange. We spend to much time alone. We need time to repair and strategize before we can clean up after everybody next week. We make things un-fun. We hold up a mirror to empty pursuits. |
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#85 | |||
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New Member [01%]
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Italics: Maybe true about me, but maybe not other INTJs |
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#86 |
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Member [03%]
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It's not that you're wrong, it's how you said it...
Why doesn't he have to follow the rules? He's right, we really should do that... Who is that? You might want to ask (INTJ's name) about that. No he's not angry, you'd KNOW if he was angry. It's nothing personal he just doesn't care about that kind of thing. |
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#87 |
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Member [02%]
MBTI: ENFP
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 115
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On not sharing the process:
I'm strong N as well, but Ne, which might make all the difference. Sharing an N-process, discovering connections together with others can be very rewarding for me. But anyway, I actually thought of something much more ordinary. An INTJ didn't keep in touch and since I'd felt humiliated by the previous onesideness of initiation (never conversation, though, once initiated) I waited nearly two months to write him and then over some very non-personal matter. He acted as always, seemed happy to speak again, and neither of us commented on the long silence. But I drew the 'he is just not that into you' conclusion. When following up on the neutral matter a week later, he said he came to visit me in a few weeks (we live on different continents, so that was kinda big). So, in the silent weeks, at the same time I had concluded he wasn't interested and thus pulled back, he must have been planning his trip, looking forward to see me?! That's not really optimal communication, I think. Obviously I had to reevaluate my conclusion, I was confused and a bit WTF??? It had been painful for me to close down my feelings and reopening them was also some rollercoaster. I wish he had let me in on his thoughts earlier (like "I'd like to see you soon, and am thinking of visiting you, you dig?"). That makes chances of being on the same page better (and the emotional work / thought work much less straining for the non-INTJs). I think in general that if an INTJ lets people in on their thoughts a little earlier in the process, it would be more likely that non-INTJs understand your actions and conclusions. And that could spare you guys for a lot of the disappointing "people just don't get me"- situations, that I often hear about in this forum.
Last edited by stasis; 04-23-2009 at 10:55 AM.
Reason: response to banned user removed.
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#88 |
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Core Member [309%]
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I'm starting to do that more often. In part as a self-defence mechanism
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
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#89 |
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Member [31%]
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Confounded the world..priceless.
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
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#90 | |||
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Member [30%]
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Well, in my social history class, we were talking about integration of immigrants by making their kids perform North American values within kids plays (in early 20th century North America). |
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#91 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Core Member [170%]
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I can relate to that, no matter how much I look like an S on the outside. I'd like to confess that I consider myself to be a person who's quite emotional and intuitive. I love discovering connections too, but I prefer to do it alone; to me, it doesn't matter if I marvel at it with company.
I hate that too, but it doesn't really happen for me because I'm usually the more introverted one in any relationship. I do remember this incident with my former best friend though. She'd always be happy to see me, but I'd be the one initiating 80% of the conversations. When she moved away, I'd always be the first to write; first to call; first to ask her how her day's been going and I was always the one visiting, never the other way around (she attributes it to her lack of courage to be too far away from her family, but hell, I've been doing that for her since fourth grade or we wouldn't have had any sleepovers). The reason I was so diligent with keeping in contact was that she once meant something to me. Back when I was a loner, she was my only friend. With anyone else, or even my best friends today (because I discovered that with time, the concept of "best friend" became less and less important to me), I wouldn't have made such an effort to maintain the friendship. I finally became angry at her half-hearted responses and in a huff refused to meet her that year and went off somewhere else for vacation and ceased all contact. I wouldn't say this is exclusively INTJ, but more in introverts in general (she was an INFJ).
Oh yes I do. I do that very much. I have a teacher whom I don't think too highly of but she has a lot of things to offer me. I'm the most diligent in her class. As long as I can't find flaws with your argument then, it's automatically in the "to consider" category.
Gee. Do I? People have always told me I look cute; but I do look murderous sometimes.
When we need to, we will. Most of the things, we can deal with alone.
Define "happy". Satisfied? Content? Joyful? The first one is hard to come by, but the latter two I experience on a daily basis, in large doses too.
I prefer to think that I know what I'm doing (and the results usually confirm that), but I suppose I can see where it's coming from.
I'll admit it; I can be quite upset if I lose to someone else, but I never take it personally. To me, losing means a personal failure, not an interpersonal feud. I'm a sore loser, but never to the winner. It is a great testament of character, in my opinion, to be able to lose graciously.
I'll have to disagree. I consider myself a natural empath, I just don't have the sympathy. Just as a previous poster said, I just don't really care.
I scare myself sometimes too.
It just means the person attempting it is terrible at what he does. Not my fault he sucks; my face is just full as expressions as the next person (albeit usually false ones).
Oh well. They asked for it. Not my fault it's just not what they're used to.
I must say I don't really think he exists, so I must plead innocent.
Something I hear more often (nobody's ever said that to me before) is "You sound like Artemis Fowl".
Ok. You got me there.
That's not really fair. I get them done; just that 95% of them are at done at the last minute.
Is that even a vice?
Ditto as above.
That depends on your definition of 'fun'. |
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#92 | |||
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Member [16%]
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Excellent post. |
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#93 | |||
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Member [42%]
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Some of us have been fighting social deficiencies for years and finally decided to either seek therapy or give up - only to find that those social deficiencies are part of an MBTI package. In my case, finding that I was the INTJ type was a relief. |
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#94 | |||
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Core Member [465%]
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Supposed to? No. Inevitable? Yes. |
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#95 | |||
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Member [42%]
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Never mind. I only read the first couple of pages; I should have read everything before I posted. I'll try to make myself useful . . . |
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#96 | |||
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Member [02%]
MBTI: ENFP
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 115
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Yes, absolutely. I really seldom read bad will into the things I describe. If I did, then this thread would be pointless, since people hurting others on purpose wouldn't care anyway. In fact, reading that others DO get hurt will to them just mean that they had done a good job. |
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#97 | |||
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New Member [01%]
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That wasn't what I was saying. I was saying that the intj's that I know always complain endlessly when somebody is doing something that doesn't make sens to the intj (or, at least, they complain until the person that is doing the "irrational" thing stops doing whatever it is that they were doing). I realize that one can take a [can't think of actual term right now, so I'm going to say] causitive [that absolutely everything that happens has a certain cause and effect(s).] view, and that if one could understand exactly what was happening in the doer's mind beforeand while doing said "irrational" thing, that it would actually make sense. the problem is, of course, many people can't/don't have that kind of understanding, and so the thing that is being done doesn't make sense to the observer. |
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#98 |
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Core Member [151%]
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One that has been touched on but that I'd like to expand is that INTJs have a tendency to act as is discussions were contests. The point is not to come to the best possible answer, but to prove that you're already there and the other person is objectively incorrect by virtue of the fact that his opinion is not yours. If you change your opinion, you've "lost"-- because switching to the right side isn't as important as starting on the right side.
Last edited by ElstonGunn; 04-18-2009 at 07:17 PM.
Reason: Dang gerunds...
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#99 | |||
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Veteran Member [85%]
MBTI: INTP
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,413
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I think this is one of my inherent flaws that I've largely managed to correct. I don't feel uncomfortable when I wind up "losing" a discussion and changing my opinion, assuming that I supported my original opinion well and they simply supported theirs better. (If I screwed up my argument, THAT bugs me, but then if I screwed up my argument I probably wouldn't wind up changing my opinion anyway). I used to feel this way though, so I guess that's a start. |
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#100 | |||
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Member [20%]
MBTI: INTJ
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 808
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The only type that thinks that INTJ's can "manage to be so amazingly brilliant while never straying from the back ground of a situation" is the INTJ type, and more than that, he or she will only think that of him or her self, and hardly ever about other INTJ's.
Last edited by Solaris; 04-20-2009 at 04:15 PM.
Reason: personal attacks not allowed
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