I am enlightened...

**Fizgig** · 04-10-2009, 07:09 PM

You know for a very long time now I guessed I was retarded or seriously tweaked in the brain. I honestly fealt that I was a prisoner in this god aweful world; perhaps an uninvited alien; or maybe even a mutant having a natural reaction to an unnatural world...whatever, I digress.

I had convinced myself and went horribly into a depressive state due to my realization that this world we live in is a lie. It's fake. There is no truth. Our lives are as pointless and misguided...wait, did I should tell you about my five monkies. I have these five monkies that I keep in a rotted rusting cage and I am the torturer; or is the torturer god? Wait...who knows who the torturer is...omg who is the wizard behind the damned curtain!?

I'll explain. This torturer, er monkey-master (let's call him Tim), puts a ladder into the cage and this ladder leads to a hand of bananas. Five kind, innocent, angel-like monkeys see these bananas and being deprived of food for weeks as they have been one monkey begins up the ladder to the glorious hand of bananas. Just as the monkey is in reach of the banana Tim BLASTS the monkey with a 300-psi fire hose; the monkey tumbles off the ladder falls on his bum. Tim is unrelenting and he continues to pummel the monkey. The poor monkey hides behind the others and soon they are all getting pummeled in the corner.

Hours pass. Another monkey eyes the banana and the force of hunger causes him to lose his memory of recent events...he climbs up...he reaches...BAM he crashes to the floor and again all the monkeys are in the corner crying in pain from the intense water stream. Tim, being a clever guy removes a random wet monkey and replaces with a dry monkey. Tim watches with pleasure. Only minutes go by and the new, dry monkey makes his way up the ladder. Half way up the ladder the wet monkeys rip the dry monkey off the ladder and beat the living hell out of him.

This goes on for days as the amusement is endless for Tim. Finally all the original wet monkeys have been replaced by all dry monkeys. They are all starving. They all see the ladder leading to the hand of bananas - they are well aware that the bananas exist. None of them make any attempt for the bananas and furthermore none of them even know why they can't have them!!!

Anyway I am an Engineer; I can't stand small talk; I told my ex that I loved her, once...apparently that wasn't enough? I mean...what's the big deal if the status of that love changed I would have told her right? I really can't grasp social rituals and I always thought that I must be an Alien or wired wrong - doctors always wanted to give me drugs to make me happy and sociable...lol. I never took them I think most doctors are morons (if you are a doctor I'm not talking about you, obviously). Anyways, by pure chance I took this test and found that I match near 100% on I, N, T and J. By further chance I came across this wonderful forum and thanks for the read.

Rudy · 04-10-2009, 07:13 PM

Monkeys, eh? Can they perform butler duties? I've always wanted a monkey butler.

Welcome, Fizgig! You'll find all sorts here, each ~~bizarre~~ ~~strange~~ ~~odd~~ unique in their own way!

I hope you enjoy the forum.

**Monte314** · 04-10-2009, 07:40 PM

Hi. I would say more, but you've used up most of the vowels allocated to this thread.

**Fizgig** · 04-10-2009, 08:09 PM

	Originally Posted by Monte314
	Hi. I would say more, but you've used up most of the vowels allocated to this thread.

Dear Monte, let go of the wheel and scream.

Are you in construction? 3.14 is usually all a contractor can muster, no offence. Reminds me of a good joke btw.

**Pcell** · 04-10-2009, 08:18 PM

Welcome and enjoy your stay.

**doublejava** · 04-11-2009, 04:36 AM

Intriguing monkey story but you omitted the paragraph that describes how it could possibly relate to anything else you've said. I mean, I ramble on and on sometimes too. Just the other day, in fact, I was talking about how coffee often creates an urgency for a bowel movement. You know how you're eating your all bran, topped with fruit, and nothing happens. Then 3 sips of coffee and *BAM!* you can't get there fast enough? Which reminds me, I need to head off to the muffler shop and get my tail pipe fixed.

(I know, I know. The monkey story, it's an example of the stupid reasons why we do things not knowing why we do them other than "that's the way it's always been done.")

So Mr. Monkey Fizgig, it's truly great you've come to the INTJf before you went on happy pills because now you won't need them. What you will need, however, is massage therapy when you start hunching over the computer for 19 hours a day, drawn in by our fascinating magnificence. Happy Prozac posting!

**Bobert** · 04-11-2009, 06:47 AM

Wow Fizgig, don't hold back. Welcome to the forum.

Great avatar, BTW.

**reb** · 04-11-2009, 07:02 AM

welcome, oh enlightened Fizgig! don't reach for the banana here....

**loosefanbelt** · 04-11-2009, 07:15 AM

Er, following THAT ^ I will... just... say... welcome...

**Jonathan Brewer** · 04-11-2009, 08:58 AM

	Originally Posted by Fizgig
	Dear Monte, let go of the wheel and scream. Are you in construction? 3.14 is usually all a contractor can muster, no offence. Reminds me of a good joke btw.

Construction? Monte? Are you nuts? Dogs can't do construction work. Everyone knows dogs are perfectly adapted to the higher callings of scientific research.

Welcome to the forum, by the way. I enjoyed your intro and can easily sympathize. The truth is that, while we are not dependent on social interaction for happiness, the majority of the world requires it. If it failed to exist, none of us would be better off, I'm afraid.

See you in the threads.

**Trenchant1** · 04-11-2009, 09:09 AM

Fizgig,

What's the big deal? This is perfectly normal thought and behaviour. The monkey story is one that you picked up from me, isn't it? I wrote about that on my blog years ago. Admittedly, the blog was actually my diary, which is hidden in a secret drawer at the back of my wardrobe, so I can't understand how you got hold of it. Still, it's nice that I've shared it with you and that you have passed its wisdom on to the rest of the world, or at least that part of the world that attends here. I have some meerkat stories that you might want to hear. They are fascinating. My stories, I mean, not meerkats. Meerkats are OK but not worthy of the epithet 'fascinating'.

Oh, I'm sorry. I just realised that you don't like small talk so I'll desist.

How's this? Now I can't think of anything to say. Isn't that always the way? Anyway, welcome, and keep on posting.

**LionsPride** · 04-11-2009, 09:12 AM

Fizgig? Cousin Fizgig is that you?

If it is you, you seem to have grown into a large, but still fuzzy man...

I hear 'ya on the monkeys. Fortunately none of the bananas here are quite so out of reach. Enjoy yourself on the forum.

**reb** · 04-11-2009, 12:10 PM

my god! GREAT TEETH! who does your dental, herr Fizgig? some would kill for that hair...have you occupied Trenchant's cave now?

**Fizgig** · 04-11-2009, 07:19 PM

Haha, that creature was a lot more lifelike when I was younger.

**LionsPride** · 04-11-2009, 11:41 PM

*Eyes moisten*

Fizgig isn't real?

**soanyway** · 04-12-2009, 12:38 AM

Fizgig? Once I figure the name out I will return to read the rest.

I'll be back!

Rudy · 04-12-2009, 12:58 AM

	Originally Posted by soanyway
	I'll be back!

*awaits return with bated breath*

**Trenchant1** · 04-12-2009, 11:36 AM

	Originally Posted by RudyHenkel
	awaits return with bated breath

Rudy, Rudy, you're turning blue.

**doublejava** · 04-12-2009, 11:39 AM

	Originally Posted by Trenchant1
	Rudy, Rudy, you're turning blue.

Trenchant, leave him be! See how long he can hold out this time. And, for crying out loud, don't resuscitate him this time.

**Trenchant1** · 04-12-2009, 11:44 AM

	Originally Posted by doublejava
	Trenchant, leave him be! See how long he can hold out this time. And, for crying out loud, don't resuscitate him this time.

I care about Rudy. You know how intense he is when it comes to breath-holding. He could really hurt himself this time. Oh no, look at that vein on his temple. It's sticking out half an inch. That is disgusting. I'm sure it would have been safer if he hadn't put his head in that clear plastic bag, handcuffed himself to the radiator and thrown the key away. Do you think we should help him?

**doublejava** · 04-12-2009, 11:51 AM

	Originally Posted by Trenchant1
	Oh no, look at that vein on his temple. It's sticking out half an inch. That is disgusting. I'm sure it would have been safer if he hadn't put his head in that clear plastic bag, handcuffed himself to the radiator and thrown the key away. Do you think we should help him?

*sits back to consider for a few moments*

Hermm, nah. I mean, look at the size of his forehead. Let's wait til all the veins start to show. Popcorn?

Rudy · 04-12-2009, 05:45 PM

*passes out due to lack of oxygen, upon which point his body automatically starts breathing again. To the regret of many*

**Jonathan Brewer** · 04-12-2009, 06:07 PM

	Originally Posted by RudyHenkel
	passes out due to lack of oxygen, upon which point his body automatically starts breathing again. To the regret of many**

Hear hear!

I mean...

Welcome back?

**DanteFalling** · 04-12-2009, 06:21 PM

Pavlov's dog, but with monkeys!

**Monte314** · 04-12-2009, 06:39 PM

Has rudy signed a "DNR"? If so, I get "the good parts".

If not, I'll take whatever I can get before he wakes up...

04-10-2009, 07:09 PM	#1
Fizgig New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 26	You know for a very long time now I guessed I was retarded or seriously tweaked in the brain. I honestly fealt that I was a prisoner in this god aweful world; perhaps an uninvited alien; or maybe even a mutant having a natural reaction to an unnatural world...whatever, I digress. I had convinced myself and went horribly into a depressive state due to my realization that this world we live in is a lie. It's fake. There is no truth. Our lives are as pointless and misguided...wait, did I should tell you about my five monkies. I have these five monkies that I keep in a rotted rusting cage and I am the torturer; or is the torturer god? Wait...who knows who the torturer is...omg who is the wizard behind the damned curtain!? I'll explain. This torturer, er monkey-master (let's call him Tim), puts a ladder into the cage and this ladder leads to a hand of bananas. Five kind, innocent, angel-like monkeys see these bananas and being deprived of food for weeks as they have been one monkey begins up the ladder to the glorious hand of bananas. Just as the monkey is in reach of the banana Tim BLASTS the monkey with a 300-psi fire hose; the monkey tumbles off the ladder falls on his bum. Tim is unrelenting and he continues to pummel the monkey. The poor monkey hides behind the others and soon they are all getting pummeled in the corner. Hours pass. Another monkey eyes the banana and the force of hunger causes him to lose his memory of recent events...he climbs up...he reaches...BAM he crashes to the floor and again all the monkeys are in the corner crying in pain from the intense water stream. Tim, being a clever guy removes a random wet monkey and replaces with a dry monkey. Tim watches with pleasure. Only minutes go by and the new, dry monkey makes his way up the ladder. Half way up the ladder the wet monkeys rip the dry monkey off the ladder and beat the living hell out of him. This goes on for days as the amusement is endless for Tim. Finally all the original wet monkeys have been replaced by all dry monkeys. They are all starving. They all see the ladder leading to the hand of bananas - they are well aware that the bananas exist. None of them make any attempt for the bananas and furthermore none of them even know why they can't have them!!! Anyway I am an Engineer; I can't stand small talk; I told my ex that I loved her, once...apparently that wasn't enough? I mean...what's the big deal if the status of that love changed I would have told her right? I really can't grasp social rituals and I always thought that I must be an Alien or wired wrong - doctors always wanted to give me drugs to make me happy and sociable...lol. I never took them I think most doctors are morons (if you are a doctor I'm not talking about you, obviously). Anyways, by pure chance I took this test and found that I match near 100% on I, N, T and J. By further chance I came across this wonderful forum and thanks for the read.
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04-10-2009, 07:13 PM	#2
Rudy Administrator MBTI: INfJ Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 21,722	Monkeys, eh? Can they perform butler duties? I've always wanted a monkey butler. Welcome, Fizgig! You'll find all sorts here, each ~~bizarre~~ ~~strange~~ ~~odd~~ unique in their own way! I hope you enjoy the forum.
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04-10-2009, 07:40 PM	#3
Monte314 Core Member [409%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 16,367	Hi. I would say more, but you've used up most of the vowels allocated to this thread.
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04-10-2009, 08:18 PM	#5
Pcell Member [05%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 232	Welcome and enjoy your stay.
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04-11-2009, 04:36 AM	#6
doublejava Member [21%] MBTI: InTJ Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 862	Intriguing monkey story but you omitted the paragraph that describes how it could possibly relate to anything else you've said. I mean, I ramble on and on sometimes too. Just the other day, in fact, I was talking about how coffee often creates an urgency for a bowel movement. You know how you're eating your all bran, topped with fruit, and nothing happens. Then 3 sips of coffee and BAM! you can't get there fast enough? Which reminds me, I need to head off to the muffler shop and get my tail pipe fixed. (I know, I know. The monkey story, it's an example of the stupid reasons why we do things not knowing why we do them other than "that's the way it's always been done.") So Mr. Monkey Fizgig, it's truly great you've come to the INTJf before you went on happy pills because now you won't need them. What you will need, however, is massage therapy when you start hunching over the computer for 19 hours a day, drawn in by our fascinating magnificence. Happy Prozac posting!
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04-11-2009, 06:47 AM	#7
Bobert Member [41%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,671	Wow Fizgig, don't hold back. Welcome to the forum. Great avatar, BTW.
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04-11-2009, 07:02 AM	#8
reb Core Member [257%] MBTI: XNTJ Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 10,280	welcome, oh enlightened Fizgig! don't reach for the banana here....
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04-11-2009, 07:15 AM	#9
loosefanbelt Core Member [174%] MBTI: INFX Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 6,989	Er, following THAT ^ I will... just... say... welcome...
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04-11-2009, 09:09 AM	#11
Trenchant1 Member [31%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,266	Fizgig, What's the big deal? This is perfectly normal thought and behaviour. The monkey story is one that you picked up from me, isn't it? I wrote about that on my blog years ago. Admittedly, the blog was actually my diary, which is hidden in a secret drawer at the back of my wardrobe, so I can't understand how you got hold of it. Still, it's nice that I've shared it with you and that you have passed its wisdom on to the rest of the world, or at least that part of the world that attends here. I have some meerkat stories that you might want to hear. They are fascinating. My stories, I mean, not meerkats. Meerkats are OK but not worthy of the epithet 'fascinating'. Oh, I'm sorry. I just realised that you don't like small talk so I'll desist. How's this? Now I can't think of anything to say. Isn't that always the way? Anyway, welcome, and keep on posting.
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04-11-2009, 09:12 AM	#12
LionsPride Core Member [225%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 9,029	Fizgig? Cousin Fizgig is that you? If it is you, you seem to have grown into a large, but still fuzzy man... I hear 'ya on the monkeys. Fortunately none of the bananas here are quite so out of reach. Enjoy yourself on the forum.
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04-11-2009, 12:10 PM	#13
reb Core Member [257%] MBTI: XNTJ Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 10,280	my god! GREAT TEETH! who does your dental, herr Fizgig? some would kill for that hair...have you occupied Trenchant's cave now?
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04-11-2009, 07:19 PM	#14
Fizgig New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 26	Haha, that creature was a lot more lifelike when I was younger.
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04-11-2009, 11:41 PM	#15
LionsPride Core Member [225%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 9,029	Eyes moisten Fizgig isn't real?
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04-12-2009, 12:38 AM	#16
soanyway Member [08%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 320	Fizgig? Once I figure the name out I will return to read the rest. I'll be back!
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04-12-2009, 05:45 PM	#22
Rudy Administrator MBTI: INfJ Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 21,722	passes out due to lack of oxygen, upon which point his body automatically starts breathing again. To the regret of many
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04-12-2009, 06:21 PM	#24
DanteFalling Member [28%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,132	Pavlov's dog, but with monkeys!
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04-12-2009, 06:39 PM	#25
Monte314 Core Member [409%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 16,367	Has rudy signed a "DNR"? If so, I get "the good parts". If not, I'll take whatever I can get before he wakes up...
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