[steerthestars]

There are not many of us around-- INTJ is the second least common personality type in general, and the absolute least common among women. In a group of a hundred women, there's still only a 50% chance that one of us is INTJ.

Let's face it. Nothing about us fits feminine stereotypes: we're cold, cunning, smart, calculating, insightful, ocassionally emotionally absent and insensitive to criticism. Our rareness means the likelihood of meeting another INTJ girl without the help of the interweb is quite low.

So, how do you guys deal with it? What other MBTI personalities in girls do you INTJ girls appreciate? Since feminine culture almost completely excludes INTJ girls, what parts of it do you hate the most?

I personally have a huge problem with women's magazines, except for feminist ones like bitch or shameless. They're condescending, repetitive (INTJs hate that!) and they make assumptions about women that only apply to ESFP/ESFJ/ENFJ/INFJ types.

[Alcestis]

I'd disagree with the "nothing about us fits feminine stereotypes" comment. Underneath it all, I'd describe myself as an enormous romantic underneath the seemingly impenetrable wall of logic. *smiles*

Frankly, I don't have many girlfriends, because of the reasons you mention. I prefer the company of men since many general traits found in women are nearly non-existent in said guys (pettiness, the belief that repetition/insertion of strong emotion into debate makes your argument somehow stronger, excessive vanity, and so on). One girlfriend who I suspect was an ISFJ was the only one who didn't offput me initially completely. Despite it all, I don't really care either way. If someone has nothing to add to the table on top of being irritating, male or female, there's no point in keeping them around. I've just happened to find more guys who fit that bill.

Women's magazines are fun if only to find interesting topics to bring up in future conversations and masquerade as a somewhat-feminine butterfly in a group of said women. It works for me, anyway. ^^

[theDoc]

..and admittedly, I like intj women more than other types because they're so damn awesome. However, finding intj women is already tough enough, finding single ones whom want to date you would be a hell of a task. Someone needs to be twiddling their fingers to create more of them intj women!
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[une fille]

I met another INTJ female in person once.. Didn't know she tested as an INTJ until much later on, but heh.. She hates me. It might be a blessing that we don't meet too often.
I like my female IxFP friend quite a bit, though I can be a little overwhelming for her sometimes. Truly, I do enjoy other females who are more outgoing than I am if we're in the right setting for it. I haven't made any new female friends in college, but an extremely religious ESFJ (my guess at her type) was fascinated with me, for some reason.

	Originally Posted by steerthestars
	Since feminine culture almost completely excludes INTJ girls, what parts of it do you hate the most?

I, like the above poster, disagree. I enjoy a number of elements that are a stereotypical part of feminine culture. I wear makeup, dye my hair, am a lingerie junkie, and am vaguely interested in fashion.

[Storm]

We have several threads on the INTJ female experience.


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Nothing about us fits feminine stereotypes: we're cold, cunning, smart, calculating, insightful, ocassionally emotionally absent and insensitive to criticism. Our rareness means the likelihood of meeting another INTJ girl without the help of the interweb is quite low. So, how do you guys deal with it? What other MBTI personalities in girls do you INTJ girls appreciate? Since feminine culture almost completely excludes INTJ girls, what parts of it do you hate the most?

I disagree that nothing about us fits feminine stereotypes. I am very feminine. I also don't find "cunning, smart, calculating and insightful" to be unfeminine in any way. I love jewelry (I have a large box of it), my house is full of potted plants and colors. I wear all feminine clothing.

And what about feminine culture that we like? I love children and nature.

There is no personality that I overtly hate - there are good and bad representations of all the types. Extroverts can be helpful in situations. I volunteer at an elementary school, and my extroverted friend makes sure that the whole office knows us and likes us. She has a talent which I don't. My ESFJ female friend loves to throw diner parties which I greatly enjoy. She was there for me when my boyfriend broke up with me. Of course, not all women are Es or Fs, and I like them too.

Mainly, though, I don't break the world up into "feminine culture" and "masculine culture." I like board games and sci-fi. I couldn't care less if that's a girl-thing or a boy-thing.

Edit: I wouldn't break up the lovers of easy-read female magazines by type. My ESFJ friend hates the sexist ones (Cosmo pops to mind) too. Of course, many women just read them out of boredom. Just look at the pictures and read the fun articles.

[schwartzie]

good topic! i will need to thinK about it

[WanderLust]

I rather enjoy not fitting in to societal norms. Even as a teen I never felt much need to fit in. Being eccentric is fun, and not being part of the herd gives me the freedom I instinctively crave. I am feminine when I feel like it, but I feel free to skip the pleasantries when I'm tired of the charade. I cannot imagine living the unexamined life, and wouldn't change my personality type. I am generally blissfully unaware (or at least pretend I am) of what's expected of me so it's hard for me to hate on cultural expectations. Honestly the whole concept of "feminine" seems completely contrived to me, so I define and redefine it as I see fit.

I get along best with other iNtuitive women or Sensors with a high IQ. I usually know within a few minutes of talking to someone whether or not we can be good friends. I am a little sad that I don't often meet women who are kindred spirits and I haven't been able to work out any solution for replacing friends that are in other states now.

While I sort of wish I could be described as "cold" and "emotionally absent", the truth is I'm simply emotional about different things than most people. I experience the full range of emotions at high intensities; I just try not to let them affect my judgment.

I have a strange fascination with women's magazines, though I find there is much more accurate and complete information about hair and makeup and such available online or at the library. Looking at a fashion mag does bring out my girly side, if only for a few minutes. I find most all magazines about any topic to be very shallow and content free, but that is more forgivable for fashion magazines than those that are supposed to be informative.

[Macbeth]

	Originally Posted by Alcestis To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'd disagree with the "nothing about us fits feminine stereotypes" comment. Underneath it all, I'd describe myself as an enormous romantic underneath the seemingly impenetrable wall of logic. *smiles*

I have a penis so perhaps I am not qualified for this thread, but still I must ask: do your emotions come rarely but when they do come they are deep bone-shaking emotions?

Nice collar in your avatar btw.

[Brittle]

	Originally Posted by steerthestars To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	There are not many of us around-- INTJ is the second least common personality type in general, and the absolute least common among women. In a group of a hundred women, there's still only a 50% chance that one of us is INTJ. Our rareness means the likelihood of meeting another INTJ girl without the help of the interweb is quite low

True enough. I don't know that I've ever met another (my best friend is an xNFJ, but we truly "get" each other)

	Originally Posted by steerthestars To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Let's face it. Nothing about us fits feminine stereotypes: we're cold, cunning, smart, calculating, insightful, ocassionally emotionally absent and insensitive to criticism.

I wouldn't consider myself cold or cunning and I'm definitely sensitive to critisism if it comes from someone I value and respect. Nor do I think being smart and self-confident excludes me from being sexy and feminine.

	Originally Posted by steerthestars To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What other MBTI personalities in girls do you INTJ girls appreciate?

I try to judge people on their merits, not their MBTI result. The most important quality for me, regardless of who you are, is that you are genuine.

	Originally Posted by steerthestars To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Since feminine culture almost completely excludes INTJ girls, what parts of it do you hate the most?

Like others, I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. I do, however, have a problem with job interviews and the assumption by some men that because you are a female you won't be reliable since you will fall pregnant at the first possible chance and run off to have babies. I've come up against this a few times and it never ceases to infuriate me.

	Originally Posted by steerthestars To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I personally have a huge problem with women's magazines, except for feminist ones like bitch or shameless. They're condescending, repetitive (INTJs hate that!) and they make assumptions about women that only apply to ESFP/ESFJ/ENFJ/INFJ types.

I can't stand the celebrity gossip style magazines or the ones that offer 10 Ways to Get Him HOT in Bed! They are mind-numbingly inane. When I was younger I used to read Maxim or Ralph since they had far more interesting articles and a good dose of humour. These days I tend to read the foodie or home & garden mags.

[dalidaisy]

	Originally Posted by Macbeth To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I have a penis so perhaps I am not qualified for this thread, but still I must ask: do your emotions come rarely but when they do come they are deep bone-shaking emotions?

For me, yes, this is often the case...

On the topic of other females, I do not descriminate based on type. I don't like people in general & usually I like women the least. I prefer male friends. They seem to understand me better & I them.

Although I am not a stereotypical girl, per se, I do possess feminine traits. Heck, I spent a lot of my life deeply involved in fashion & modelling. Most recently I ran a cosmetic dermatology office.

I am not afraid of my femininity, but I do not embrace it either. It is just a part of me, as is every experience I've had since birth. I come from a strange, mangled mold.

Not that I really feel particularly unique. We're all snowflakes, right? How many women are truly the stereotypical female, fitting all facets? Same for men with masculine stereotypes? Frankly, I think we're all in the grey area.

Oh, and my best friend of 25+ years is an ESFP, my opposite in almost every way. Yes, she is VERY feminine, much more so than me.

[PeterIMC]

Question, do you feel like you´re completely different from the way you´re perceived by others?

[dalidaisy]

	Originally Posted by PeterIMC To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Question, do you feel like you´re completely different from the way you´re perceived by others?

I'm not sure exactly how others perceive me, really. I am often amazed by the number of friends I somehow collect. I have no idea why people want to be my friend, really. I am horrible at it. But, I keep attracting them like a mosquito zapper.

But, when people call me insensitive, I do get to feeling that they just don't quite understand me. Okay, sure, I'm not very sensitive emotionally, but I can understand THEIR sensitivity & that's all they really care about. I try to express this the best way I can, but for some reason it's like we're speaking different languages.

It's like the whole crying thing. If I don't grab the person, wrap my arms around them, rub their back & tell them it's gonna be okay, somehow I'm being insensitive. Undoubtedly they NEED that, but I am reluctant to go out of comfort zone unless it will actually benefit me in some way, you know? Even though I'm not touchy-feely, it doesn't mean that I cannot help them with their problem. I mean, I am the queen of problem solving.

Anyway, I guess my question to you would be, how do you perceive me? Then, I could give you a more educated guess on the subject...

[PeterIMC]

I know a couple of other INTJ's and I realize sometimes that their behavior is actually not so different from mine, but they are very closed. I don't think of my self as a closed person, but I know many people perceive me like that. (but that's because of social situations where I'm the last person to start a conversation.)

I perceive most people in this forum in very different ways. There are some I plain don't like, most don't say anything that's impressive, some sometimes say something interesting. You´re in the middle group for now.

By the way, the question wasn't specifically to you, but to all. Not trying to take over this thread either. I was just curious to how INTJ women would answer this question.

[dalidaisy]

	Originally Posted by PeterIMC To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	By the way, the question wasn't specifically to you, but to all. Not trying to take over this thread either. I was just curious to how INTJ women would answer this question.

I know it wasn't aimed at me, but I was just trying to give you an answer. I am also curious what other INTJ females on this forum have to say about this. It's interesting...

EDIT: Oh, and I agree that I'm not very interesting, hence my not understanding all the friends. I guess we're in agreement there.

[Brittle]

I have this weird situation where people like me, but they're kind of scared of me at the same time... maybe it's that withering glare I have that says you-are-a-complete-dipshit-and-I-could-cheerfully-strangle-you-with-my-bare-hands-right-now.... or maybe it's that I say it out loud
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I do know a lot of people when first meeting me think I'm aloof and a bit of a snob, or that I think I'm better/smarter than them, but I can only put that down to the fact I can be fairly articulate and sometimes use unfamilliar words (that's just the way I talk) and it's their own insecurity talking. It's certainly not my intent to come across that way. I think it doesn't help that I'm also happy to voice my own opinion - not that of the crowd - and some people seem to find that arrogant. I just think it's being honest.

Once they get to know me better they realise I'm quite likeable.. but there still remains that element of "ooh... I don't want to piss her off - she's scary".

It's kind of amusing, but not altogether a bad thing..!

[Ermisenda]

I cant stand most females I come across, I just don't understand their logic. I prefer the company of men on most occasions although I have come across women who aren't INTJ and we get along enough to be called good friends and there are always men you come across that are pathetic and crude. I have come across a lot of guys who have told me that 'See you understand what I'm saying,' 'That's what I thought about the whole situation!' 'You're like no girl I've ever met,' 'You're awesome!' Although it can get annoying when they idolize you for being so different and mentally appealing. While other guys are intimidated and feel competitive. I know a lot of females are intimidated by me.

I just laugh and find the humour in those magazines and shake my head. I don't care that I don't fit in for what is stereotypically 'feminine' because caring about fitting in is a waste of time and useless. I know that my usual lack of emotion is something my friends tend to pick on, calling me emotionally devoid and I've been repeatedly reminded that I'm distant a lot of the time.

I have a similar thing to what Brittle pointed out, the fear thing. I know one of my friends will rip off the other happily but when it comes to me she treads a lot lighter, she is afraid of me to some extent. I am friendly when people talk to me, I've grown to like interaction but a lot of people are intimidated to interact with me unless I make the first move.

I like who I am, the lack of attachments and the logical thinking even if at times I feel like I'm alone. I don't worry about fitting in.

[Storm]

	Originally Posted by PeterIMC To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Question, do you feel like you´re completely different from the way you´re perceived by others?

I'm not really sure how others perceive me. I mean, do we ever? People don't generally walk up to you say "Hi! I think you're a _____"

When I was a child (children are more honest about telling each other what they think), I was constantly told that I was "weird." I still don't know why this was. But I had a fair amount of friends, so I guess I wasn't that out there. Maybe they meant quirky but didn't have a word for it?

I've been told various things as an adult - mainly nice, because well, who goes around insulting each other? It's hard not to agree with nice things.

And then I've been told contradicting things by different people (such as that I'm too reserved, and that I have a talent at putting people at ease). There are many sides to my personality.

But who am I? All of them, I suppose.

[Ravel]

	Originally Posted by PeterIMC To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Question, do you feel like you´re completely different from the way you´re perceived by others?

I have definitely gotten that feeling. Just a month ago I had a friend of mine basically call me malicious (she said it in an 'accepting' sort of way but still...) . Granted, I like to tease and can be very sarcastic but I do this more in the spirit of playfulness than anything else. I don't act that way with people I don't like.
This makes me wonder if my other friends think the same way. I'm not trying to be mean, and am careful to avoid anything that I thought would bother them.

I tried to explain this to my friend but she has a habit of having one-sided conversations. At times like those I tend to space out and lose interest in even responding.
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[Brittle]

	Originally Posted by Ravel To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Granted, I like to tease and can be very sarcastic but I do this more in the spirit of playfulness than anything else. I don't act that way with people I don't like.

That's so funny - I'm just the same. I tell people if I'm lovely and polite it means I'm getting to know you, but once I start teasing it means I like you - I don't waste my witty sarcasm on people I don't like. If I don't like you, I just won't bother with you at all or I'll tell you straight out.

I think it confuses people though
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[schwartzie]

	Originally Posted by Brittle To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I tell people if I'm lovely and polite it means I'm getting to know you, but once start teasing it means I like you - I don't waste my witty sarcasm on people I don't like.:

yes--me too
I like play

[spiritdetectivegirl]

Eh, there are pros and cons to being the minority of female personality types.
Thankfully, I enjoy being diffirent.

I hang out with people who are awesome people, regaurdless of thier gender. Though everyone hates being pegionholed, and the world's general view of women sucks when it comes to us rare oddities.

I hate how people judge women by thier gender in terms of strength. I hate how every women I've just about told that I don't intend to have children always quip with the "Never say never," "Haha, you'll change your mind," or "That's what I said when I was younger." I hate how the media portrays a woman's ideal man. I.E.,Tall, Muscle bound, a quasi half-breed of 'Thug' and 'Gentlemen' ect,.

I don't personally like main stream female magazines, though they sometimes make for a good laugh when I'm bored. I'm not really into fashion, though I like some Goth fashion (I frequent Gothic Beauty Magazine), but because of the victorian/addams family vibe, and most goth media share my brand of humor. Never got into make-up, though I like to use eyeliner in unique designs.

Though all and all I find it a bit more difficult to be Biracial than an INTJ woman. We're hardly ever represented in the media for what we really are.

But that's something else entirely. Maybe I should start and ethnicity INTJ thread up here, if there is one I would greatly appreciate a link to it.





spiritdetectivegirl added to this post, 1 minutes and 36 seconds later...

	Originally Posted by Brittle To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	That's so funny - I'm just the same. I tell people if I'm lovely and polite it means I'm getting to know you, but once I start teasing it means I like you - I don't waste my witty sarcasm on people I don't like.

I fourth this notion.

[Alcestis]

	Originally Posted by spiritdetectivegirl
	I hate how the media portrays a woman's ideal man. I.E.,Tall, Muscle bound, a quasi half-breed of 'Thug' and 'Gentlemen' ect,.

Maybe I just haven't been watching the same media (and at the risk of derailing the thread), but why do you hate such a portrayal? I haven't seen such a type of man in the media recently, so I'm asking you. Preferably tall, muscled enough to take care of himself (overmuscled is grotesque, to me), lean but with enough fat reserve so he doesn't die quickly during a period of decreased food availability, a laterally-thinking mind, keen intellect, gracious behavior to those weaker than himself, perhaps even occasionally picking fights (being a "thug" by your definition, maybe?) to assert superiority over other males. I don't know, to me, that seems like a base, animalistic attraction. That's the "ideal man portrayal " I usually see.

	Originally Posted by Macbeth To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Nice collar in your avatar btw.

Thank you.

[Samoan Corleone]

Only INTJ women can host The Weakest Link...

*awkward silence*

[Ravel]

	Originally Posted by spiritdetectivegirl To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I hate how the media portrays a woman's ideal man. I.E.,Tall, Muscle bound, a quasi half-breed of 'Thug' and 'Gentlemen' ect,.

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[Samoan Corleone]

	Originally Posted by spiritdetectivegirl To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I hate how the media portrays a woman's ideal man. I.E.,Tall, Muscle bound, a quasi half-breed of 'Thug' and 'Gentlemen' ect,.

I hate that too, it wrecks things for the eccentric, strategic, quiet-but-not-shy, kind-but-not-a-pushover-ish guys like me. Basically, they're saying guys have to alter themselves in fit the mould of both a bad boy and a gentleman. I'm neither of those, I'm me. I'm my own man, not the media's man, and not some stupid-ass caricature either.