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Sex: Extraversion and Introversion None
Old 02-19-2009, 04:52 AM   #1
Insight
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Recent threads inspire this one . . . I've noticed that several INTJ women here and several female introverts in real life seem to place greater importance on their partners not focusing exclusively on their pleasure, and rather just letting loose, demonstrating that their men are "into" them. This seems like an attitude that's more prevalent among introverted women than extraverted ones.

For instance, my first lover was ESFP. Man, did we have incredible sex. Unbelievable sex :-D I'm thinking part of it is due to her large degree of extraversion. She enjoyed being "into" me, and I could dazzle her with either technical proficiency or emotional investment.

Another woman was ISFP. My fingers/tongue/etc. didn't impress as much. She wanted me to demonstrate my passion for her, i.e. show that I was into her.

This pattern seems to be common among my ex-girlfriends and platonic female friends, as well as women on forums like this :-D Extraverts tend to gravitate towards a lover, giving said lover free reign for expression, be it mechanical or emotional, whereas introverts want their lovers to gravitate towards them, perhaps desiring that their lovers show enthusiasm that is inspired by them.

I'm guilty of the latter, anyway. What do you guys think?
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Old 02-19-2009, 06:18 AM   #2
mayumi
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I suppose, by the very nature of extroversion and introversion, extroverts need to give socially (and emotionally) because they need the response. An extrovert has more need to interact, where as the introvert is more independent and comfortable being alone. The introvert can afford more to have a take it or leave it attitude towards men.

Personally, I don't bother with anybody who doesn't show interest first. In large part because if I don't get approached, I would not know they existed.
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Old 02-19-2009, 10:34 AM   #3
alphawolf
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Both of my LTRs were introverts, and both had serious trouble getting orgasms. With the first one, I had to pound the hell out of her from behind for nearly half an hour non stop before she could get an orgasm, and then she expected another half an hour of non stop pounding so she could get 5 or 6 more. The second one was a bit shorter, but still difficult. IMO, an orgasm should not take that much work.

I've been with several extroverted women in the past few months and none of them have problems getting orgasms, in fact they tell me that I'm taking too long. I like this scenario much better ;-)

Sex with extroverted women is nicer, also, because they aren't afraid to actually participate.

Just my 2 cents.
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Old 02-19-2009, 10:38 AM   #4
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Heh, I must be an extrovert deep down then... Orgasms are a piece of cake for me... Never had a problem going multiple rounds in one night... I give just as much as I am given... Hehe, sometimes maybe a little too much... I occasionally forget I have such long nails... Left a few marks in the past... My exes call me up when they find out I'm single to see if we can get together...
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Yep, once again that introversion doesn't fit me at all!
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Old 02-19-2009, 10:42 AM   #5
Mozzes
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  Originally Posted by alphawolf
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Both of my LTRs were introverts, and both had serious trouble getting orgasms. With the first one, I had to pound the hell out of her from behind for nearly half an hour non stop before she could get an orgasm, and then she expected another half an hour of non stop pounding so she could get 5 or 6 more. The second one was a bit shorter, but still difficult. IMO, an orgasm should not take that much work.

Did you ever attempt a more subtle approach?

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Old 02-19-2009, 10:49 AM   #6
alphawolf
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  Originally Posted by Mozzes
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Did you ever attempt a more subtle approach?

Every approach I could think of and then some, also followed their suggestions.

The problem was in the mind, not the body. Neither one of them knew how to relax or be intimate.

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Old 02-19-2009, 10:58 AM   #7
Harmony
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  Originally Posted by alphawolf
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Every approach I could think of and then some, also followed their suggestions.

The problem was in the mind, not the body. Neither one of them knew how to relax or be intimate.

And that, I think has nothing to do with extroversion or introversion.
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I've seen extroverts that couldn't relax and I've seen introverts that couldn't relax.
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Everyone is always shocked to learn how I truly am... Everyone always says I always seem so sweet and conservative....Boy are they wrong!
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Old 02-19-2009, 11:44 AM   #8
Kisai
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Hmmm... I've been with extreme E's who couldn't open up. I've been with shy I's who were wild in bed.

I would say that sexuality/libido should have a subletter appended to the MBTI chart. I find it weird that its missing, since libido does dictate action.
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Old 02-19-2009, 01:08 PM   #9
dalidaisy
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I am an introvert. I have no problem having orgasms. I also have no problem "letting loose", although I do appreciate it when my partner is "into me". I like to give pleasure as much as I like to get it. Maybe I'm not reading the OP's question right, but I think all of my partners would agree that we had incredible sex. I don't think my I/e persuasion has anything to do with my ability to have great sex. I think sex entails a lot of give & take. It works best if both partners are "into" each other, IMO.
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