[NItsuj]

[rant]

Ok, this being the internet and being anonymous, I figured I would ask for help or some advice... or anything really. As like minded people, we should be able to come to a conclusion, a game plan if you will.

I guess you could say it is sterotypical, but I've never had a girlfriend of any kind. I've always been kind of an estranged guy and very focused on attaining my career. This makes me somewhat unhappy - I mean, I've accomplished everything else I set out to do, but this is one arena where all of my hard work really means nothing.

I don't drink, I don't smoke (and can't be around people that do because of my asthma), I don't watch sports, highly allergic to cats (so no cat people) and I am incredibly anti-social. Online dating (such as eHarmony and Match.com) have given me absolutely no results. I get no responses, and no one contacts me (and I have pictures up, have been a member for well over 18 months on Match.com).

I've been told my numerous female people (not friends mind you) that I am a relatively attractive person, as well as funny. I'm confident and can do public speaking. Every single time I've ever asked a woman out (including just random walk ups) has always met in success, but I've never been able to make it past date one (as in the kind where you don't even go for a good night kiss) Am I just SOL throwing down some kind of vibe? Am I just missing signals that I should be picking up (and if so, can I blame it on being INTJ)?

I mean, I know I can't treat a relationship like a business transaction, but women should see me as a no-brainer: good looking (or at least not a troll), financially responsible, mature, funny, ambitious, and able to commit following through with my plans. Standard alpha male things (unless I'm just way off the mark).

What am I supposed to do? I've pretty much run out of new female contacts in my social area, so I either need to hunt elsewhere or reconfigure how I operate.
[/rant]

[Rudy]

Well, thinking of yourself as a "no-brainer" choice for ladies probably isn't the best place to start.

Other than that, I cannot help you. After years and years of failed dating attempts, I'm beginning to become content with the idea of remaining alone.

[Storm]

Ok, get ready for brutal honesty since you asked. (I secretly think that even INTJs don't really like brutal honesty). Also get ready for stream of consciousness since I'm tired.
A guy who thinks he's every woman's dream is a huge turn-off. Like that pop song that goes something like "He's perfect, he's everything you want. I'm perfect, I'm everything you want." Urg, I hate it. The guy is obviously an arrogant jerk. Another song which comes to mind "Your so Vain" by Carly Simon. Listen to it.

Ok, I don't actually know if your vainity comes off in person or if you are actually vain. Just guessing based off of the paragraph you wrote.

It also sounds like you may be focusing on you instead of her (just a guess, again). Do you ask her about her life? her interest? Do you respect what she has to say (even if you disagree). Or do you spend the whole time talking about how awesome you are and how you can't understand why women aren't forming a line?

I hope I'm not coming off as mean, here. Just giving the smack asked.

Oh, and don't ever blame anything on being INTJ, that's weak sauce. You know your weaknesses, go improve upon them.

[BostonIan]

I think the thing to analyze is what happens between asking the woman out and the end of the first date. I think, if a woman accepts the first date, all you've got to do is not screw it up in order to get to the second date.* You're an INTJ, so I'd guess there's a socialization quirk in there. Anything you can think of?

*I've been over-ruled by someone with more dating experience. Oh well.

[Storm]

	Originally Posted by BostonIan To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I think the thing to analyze is what happens between asking the woman out and the end of the first date. I think, if a woman accepts the first date, all you've got to do is not screw it up in order to get to the second date. You're an INTJ, so I'd guess there's a socialization quirk in there. Anything you can think of?

I disagree, the point of a first date is to get to know each other. If on the date it turns out the other person is an atheist and you're a devote Mormon - well bettter end things now. It's not really a "screw-up" by either party. Sorry, for the sidetrail here, we are helping NItsuJ

[JohnDoe]

Originally Posted by NItsuj To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[rant] Ok, this being the internet and being anonymous, I figured I would ask for help or some advice... or anything really. As like minded people, we should be able to come to a conclusion, a game plan if you will. I guess you could say it is sterotypical, but I've never had a girlfriend of any kind. I've always been kind of an estranged guy and very focused on attaining my career. This makes me somewhat unhappy - I mean, I've accomplished everything else I set out to do, but this is one arena where all of my hard work really means nothing. I don't drink, I don't smoke (and can't be around people that do because of my asthma), I don't watch sports, highly allergic to cats (so no cat people) and I am incredibly anti-social. Online dating (such as eHarmony and Match.com) have given me absolutely no results. I get no responses, and no one contacts me (and I have pictures up, have been a member for well over 18 months on Match.com). I've been told my numerous female people (not friends mind you) that I am a relatively attractive person, as well as funny. I'm confident and can do public speaking. Every single time I've ever asked a woman out (including just random walk ups) has always met in success, but I've never been able to make it past date one (as in the kind where you don't even go for a good night kiss) Am I just SOL throwing down some kind of vibe? Am I just missing signals that I should be picking up (and if so, can I blame it on being INTJ)? I mean, I know I can't treat a relationship like a business transaction, but women should see me as a no-brainer: good looking (or at least not a troll), financially responsible, mature, funny, ambitious, and able to commit following through with my plans. Standard alpha male things (unless I'm just way off the mark). What am I supposed to do? I've pretty much run out of new female contacts in my social area, so I either need to hunt elsewhere or reconfigure how I operate. [/rant]

Fix this: "I am incredibly anti-social." Go do stuff until your not antisocial. Then move if you want. Some cities really do suck.
Other notes: Financially responsible, mature, ambitious, able to commit don't matter until you've been on multiple dates. Before then its purely chemistry that matters.





JohnDoe added to this post, 5 minutes and 23 seconds later...

	Originally Posted by Storm To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I disagree, the point of a first date is to get to know each other. If on the date it turns out the other person is an atheist and you're a devote Mormon - well bettter end things now. It's not really a "screw-up" by either party. Sorry, for the sidetrail here, we are helping NItsuJ

I disagree. If he is repeatedly getting turned down on for second dates, there may be something worth looking at on the first date. Does he dress well? Smell good? Have basic hygiene? (I know this is insulting, but some people don't understand this, so I have to check) Are you mostly listening (good) or mostly talking about yourself (bad). Are you talking about things she is interested in? I mean, there's a laundry list of things you can screw up on a first date. Walk us through how a typical date goes.

[alphawolf]

Man, if you want to get a woman into bed, you've got to make her laugh.

I'm not joking (pun intended)!





alphawolf added to this post, 7 minutes and 53 seconds later...

	Originally Posted by NItsuj To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I mean, I know I can't treat a relationship like a business transaction, but women should see me as a no-brainer: good looking (or at least not a troll), financially responsible, mature, funny, ambitious, and able to commit following through with my plans. Standard alpha male things (unless I'm just way off the mark).

You are way off the mark. Alpha in this respect is about being sexually aggressive. Women love it when men show some attitude and testosterone. Women want men, not boys.

[Samoan Corleone]

Does your asthma restrict you from wearing cologne? A good scent can be the clencher.

[NItsuj]

Fear not for my feelings - I came here for help, not for reassurance. Analysis is my primary objective.

Responses:

1) From my perspective, I'm not always talking about me, but I can see how it ends up that way. It just seems like they don't want to talk to me. They always just seem to give me short answers and not explain much. I am truly interested in getting to know them (that's why I asked them on a date), but they don't seem to want to get to know me. So it's either have them constantly give me one syllable answers and have awkward silences, or I just ask tons of questions about them. I try to focus conversations about what they do and what they enjoy doing. Maybe I am trying to listen to them too hard?

2) Geographically, I do not want to move anywhere. I have my dream job right now and it fulfulls all of my professional desires at the moment. Furthermore, Dallas/Fort Worth is a fairly large metroplex (and my apologies for not stating this in the first post, you cannot be faulted for that). The relationship (or lack therof) bur is pretty much my only detractor right now. Where would you suggest I go to cure my anti-social-ness? From a romantic aspect, I just feel weird just asking random women out (especially if they are working at businesses I frequent), because that just seems kind of creepy. From a platonic aspect, I usually bond with people very slowly. It took about 4-5 months to really bond with my co-workers for example.

3) A typical date goes like this: we meet at a predetermined location I pick. Since my last date was while I was in college, we met at the fine arts theatre on campus. Then I proceed to take them someplace fun where we can casually talk (mini golf, museum, etc). The entire time I'm am like a hawk listening for clues to what she is really interested in (maybe another instance of trying to listen too hard?). After that, I take her to a local restaurant (and most have never been to some places I frequent so it's a new experience). After that, if things are going well or not, it can either be a movie or maybe something she was interested in doing (for example, we went back to campus to listen to the school orchestral concert in that fine arts theatre). Was I just being too formulaic? It sounded like a fine evening to me, and I enjoyed the night.

4) My asthma pretty much means I can't go near cats and I can't really push myself athletically. I've used Axe, old spice, etc - and I can't recall anyone saying I smelled horrible. That is also not to say that I am fat or anything - I'm rather average physically. It might be related as part of my anti-social-ness, but I've recognized the more people in a given space there are, the more likelyhood that my allergies will pick something up and then my asthma will trigger. And it's downhill with inhaler puffs and the appearance of weakness and frailty. I don't like that. A defense mechanism?

5) I'm not very sexually agressive (which is very non alpha like). It's one thing I'm trying to fix, but I'm not sure how. I don't see signals or something, so I'm not trying to immediately push the physical boundary. My rationalization is that once you push for the physical contact, that is make or break: fail and the date is over and the relationship soured. I saw a lot of myself in Steve Carell's character in 40-year old Virgin. I have the confidence and ability to talk to people, but moving to the next level is in the realm of paralysis inducing.

[Kimmy67]

Ok then - INTJ female here.

It seems to me that you are enjoying your time when you are out - so why does there have to be any more to it than that?

Maybe because you seem to be desperately searching for the missing "IT" this bleeds through in your vibes. No body likes desperate, just think about all those people that you go out of your way to avoid as they are just that!

Life is all about having a good time, laughing and getting out there.

It seems to me that if you are still on about Campus then you are still young and have years of having great fun dates. Stop looking too deeply at it, and detach from it. Put it out to the universe what you would like and detach......

Personally I find it near impossible to find any men to have deep conversations with - and yes because of the ego involved in humans it invariably ends up with the conversation being about them !

Women do sometimes like a man with balls so to speak but some women like a man they can dominate :-) Personally I like a man that is not afraid to say what he means and to whom he needs to and to stand up to the morals that he enjoys throwing around so often.

Keep smiling Kim x

[Harmony]

Originally Posted by NItsuj To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I've been told my numerous female people (not friends mind you) that I am a relatively attractive person, as well as funny. I'm confident and can do public speaking. Every single time I've ever asked a woman out (including just random walk ups) has always met in success, but I've never been able to make it past date one (as in the kind where you don't even go for a good night kiss) Am I just SOL throwing down some kind of vibe? Am I just missing signals that I should be picking up (and if so, can I blame it on being INTJ)?

Okay... First dates are typically pretty awkward. For me, I tend to avoid certain topics until I learn what type of person I'm dealing with. I stick to work, school, sports, and other interests before going onto any major topics. That way I can feel out just what they are interested in...

Now... If you start talking about your job and how you have the best job in the world, and drone on and on about that... It's likely she might be turned off and even possibly take it the wrong way.

Also, how long are you waiting to ask for a second date? And how are you asking? Oh, and how do you feel as the date progresses? Are things going well?

	Originally Posted by NItsuj To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I mean, I know I can't treat a relationship like a business transaction, but women should see me as a no-brainer: good looking (or at least not a troll), financially responsible, mature, funny, ambitious, and able to commit following through with my plans. Standard alpha male things (unless I'm just way off the mark).

I can't speak for all women, but I don't want a no-brainer. I want a challenge. I could have had the no-brainers... Instead, I want a guy that I can't already tell everything about him.

Originally Posted by NItsuj To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

From my perspective, I'm not always talking about me, but I can see how it ends up that way. It just seems like they don't want to talk to me. They always just seem to give me short answers and not explain much. I am truly interested in getting to know them (that's why I asked them on a date), but they don't seem to want to get to know me. So it's either have them constantly give me one syllable answers and have awkward silences, or I just ask tons of questions about them. I try to focus conversations about what they do and what they enjoy doing. Maybe I am trying to listen to them too hard?

Okay, they are probably giving short answers, because they are either nervous, or not ready to reveal a bunch of information. I tend to keep things pretty simple on a first date...

Originally Posted by NItsuj To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

A typical date goes like this: we meet at a predetermined location I pick. Since my last date was while I was in college, we met at the fine arts theatre on campus. Then I proceed to take them someplace fun where we can casually talk (mini golf, museum, etc). The entire time I'm am like a hawk listening for clues to what she is really interested in (maybe another instance of trying to listen too hard?). After that, I take her to a local restaurant (and most have never been to some places I frequent so it's a new experience). After that, if things are going well or not, it can either be a movie or maybe something she was interested in doing (for example, we went back to campus to listen to the school orchestral concert in that fine arts theatre). Was I just being too formulaic? It sounded like a fine evening to me, and I enjoyed the night.

For me, that might have been a bit much as a first date. Sticking to dinner and a movie, concert, or walk downtown/river/whatever might have been decent. Do you ever let the girl determine the location? Or would you ever consider meeting at the restaurant? Sometimes I'm more comfortable knowing I have my car and if dinner wasn't so hot, we can just part ways without having to drive me back to my car...

	Originally Posted by NItsuj To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	My asthma pretty much means I can't go near cats and I can't really push myself athletically. I've used Axe, old spice, etc - and I can't recall anyone saying I smelled horrible.

The only thing I can say is Axe is pretty strong. Even just one spray of that has been too over whelming for me. This may sound weird, but... Do you spray it directly on you or do you spray it into the air and then walk into it?

	Originally Posted by NItsuj To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm not very sexually agressive (which is very non alpha like). It's one thing I'm trying to fix, but I'm not sure how. I don't see signals or something, so I'm not trying to immediately push the physical boundary.

If you aren't getting a second date now (when you aren't going for a goodnight kiss) what does it matter if you do go for it and risk the date failing? In all seriousness, the girl might think that you really aren't interested if you don't make any kind of physical move. Even if it is something as simple as touching her arm or her hand when talking to her. If she jerks back she isn't ready... If she doesn't move, chances are, things are okay.

[MadmanMSU]

Your situation sounds very similar to what mine is/was. I was a late bloomer as well, and didn't even consider dating till I got to college. I hit a point where I decided I wanted to change though, so maybe some of the things I've learned can help you.

1) Physical attractiveness helps. I work out...a lot. It's not a deal-breaker or a deal-maker, but it's sort of a nice way to get things started. I know you have asthma, so that sucks, but you should consider trying to find some way to be athletic. Even weight lifting doesn't have to be that strenuous to see results. Plus, you'll be healthier in the long run.

2) Do you have any close female friends? For a long time, my only goal was to have some close female relationships that I wasn't attracted to. I think this is fairly important, because women give a lot of insight that you will never hear from men. And, female friendships are a lot different than male ones, they satisfy a lot of different things.

3) Work on style. It sounds silly, yeah, but I know I have zero sense of style. So whenever I go shopping, I always bring a woman from #2 to help out. They love that stuff anyway. Also, it depends on the woman, but a lot of them *love* a really nice cologne. Again, take a girl with you to help pick one out that she likes AND you like (my personal favorite is Armani - Code).

4) Do you flirt well? It's fun, practice
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


5) This one is the kicker: I think, as INTJ's (and this may not apply to everyone, just my opinion), it's a lot harder to find someone that we are compatible with. I've gone on SO many dates that ended at the first one, just like you described. But that's just part of how it goes. (Especially as you get older, jumping from date one to making out/sex is not a good way to go, it's expected that it should take longer.) What's important is that you learn what is out there, learn what you are looking for, and HAVE FUN doing it.

6) You do have to be aggressive at some point. Women want to know that you want them. Case in point: the girl I'm dating right now likes to take things slow. Which is fine, I really like her and I have no problem with it. But I make damn sure she knows how much I want her. We've talked about it, and she told me she would have been offended had I NOT tried to put some moves on her, but she also loves that I "respect her boundaries". Long story short....women are crazy, learn to walk the tightrope.

[Harmony]

	Originally Posted by MadmanMSU To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	We've talked about it, and she told me she would have been offended had I NOT tried to put some moves on her, but she also loves that I "respect her boundaries". Long story short....women are crazy, learn to walk the tightrope.

Yep... That's kind of similar to me... I don't expect the guy to make the first moves... It's just nice when they do... And I get taken aback when it doesn't happen... Makes me feel less desirable.

And practice turning around on that tight rope and going back in the direction you came from, we have a bad habit of changing our mind sometimes.
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[reb]

1. there are worse things than being alone..like waking up one morning married to one of my ex-girlfriends (or one of my ex-wives...ugh!)

2. go out with them, go dutch, enjoy yourself. nothing lost. if they don't want to go dutch, they are after you for $. at that point, it is clear what you have, so ask the price. had one woman want to date me to ride on my harley...then she popped off with 'most men i date pay for my babysitter'...then 'where are we eating?'. i said 'somewhere you can afford'...she went nuts. i hung up on her. i don't do 'nitwits', not even shortly, anymore. a woman is either a 'person' or a prostitute (so can be men). if i want a prostitute, then the $ will be on the table if ii'm interested, but she's got to look good, and she's got to shut up if she's a nitwit. have known a few prostitutes...a couple were far more interesting than 'normal people'. frankly, i respect their honesty.

3. you will kiss a lot of frogs before you kiss a princ(ess). i cannot tell you how many of those dating things i tried. very interesting. had one woman have a friend call her during the 'first date'....she 'had an emergency'. lol! i said 'dear, that's really chickenshit. if you don't like me, you don't like me, and i don't care.' she literally ran for the door with a stricken look on her face.

4. have 'no point' to dating. having a point makes problems. if you 'feel the tickle', as in 'sex interest' go for it but wear your raincoat. dang...wear your raincoat-can 't say it enough. in fact, have a vasectomy...they are wonderful. no more 'pappa' bs-AND wear a raincoat.

5. if you don't get a woman pregnant, and you don't marry her, you won't have near as much trouble. if you are homosexual, the risks are reduced, but nowadays, you can marry, so that ups the risk. 'avoid entangling alliances' said thomas jefferson, i think.

6. no matter how beautiful the woman, somewhere, there is a man who's tired of her (very cliched, but very true). see if you can find some male friends to have a beer with, or just shoot the shit with, or maybe correspond with-whatever floats yer boat. there is a gulf between some men and some women...if they are hung up on 'a woman's point of view', and you are hung up on 'a man's role', then you are headed for running aground in shallow water. THAT won't float yer boat.

7. try dating women with higher iq's. maybe mensa, with the only goal being 'some social life' (i know, i know, i said this was a disadvantage elsewhere, but i don't want that kind of social life). intelligent women are more interesting-the dullards are worse than a waste of time. intelligent women with some miles on them are still women, and some of them have the 'classic hang ups', but at least some of them can talk as they have grey matter twixt their ears. having seen a lot of women in 50+ years, i have not seen one that i care to spend a long time with, certainly not permanently...time is too precious.

top thing to do...don't obsess over not having a date or significant other. have a good life, not an obsession over who you are spending it with....

free, worth what ya paid for it.

[Szarra]

I really don't have any dating advice but...

4) My asthma pretty much means I can't go near cats and I can't really push myself athletically. I've used Axe, old spice, etc - and I can't recall anyone saying I smelled horrible. That is also not to say that I am fat or anything - I'm rather average physically. It might be related as part of my anti-social-ness, but I've recognized the more people in a given space there are, the more likelyhood that my allergies will pick something up and then my asthma will trigger. And it's downhill with inhaler puffs and the appearance of weakness and frailty. I don't like that. A defense mechanism?

Do you take anything else for your asthma or just the inhaler? My daughter takes Singulair and Flonase to block her asthma triggers. Since she started taking them the inhaler rarely gets used. My Mother also started taking Singulair and she's using her inhaler much less as well.

[llBradll]

You sound more serious about dating which I think could be the pushaway. Look for fun on the first few dates. If you had fun then look for committment. Asking for immediate commitment is a big scare.

[alphawolf]

	Originally Posted by llBradll To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Asking for immediate commitment is a big scare.

I have had 2 different women do that to me recently.

One went away after I told her to, with a sad puppy dog look on her face.

The other one was crazy. We had met for lunch on a workday, and she tried to get me to take her back to my house and fuck her. I managed to get rid of her with a bit of trouble - I sure as hell didn't want her to know where I lived. She sent me all sorts of text messages asking why I won't call her, am I mad at her, calling me again and again (I just silenced the ringer), etc. I even told her that I had just spent the night with another woman, and it still didn't deter her. So I told her that I had started a relationship with the other woman. Then she gave up.

I realized the problem: I have perfected the "slap me or fuck me" kiss, and I used it on both of them. I have to be damned careful when using that one from now on, because I never seem to get slapped...

Women are crazy.

[Harmony]

^^ I've had that same problem with a few guys.
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[INTroJect]

It seems like you are going about this in a Spock like manner... which I guess is about as normal as it gets for us being INTJs. As I was reading this I started thinking about what goes on in my mind as far as relations are concerned. Here are some things:

Oddly, I dont consider myself to be a Christian in the traditional sense and it is probably a strange subject to use this anology but its the best one that I can think of to make this point. Please forgive me if it is offensive to anyone:

Jesus walked on water and told Peter that he needed faith in order to do it. Peter tried but lost faith and started sinking. Jesus told him that the reason that he sank into the water was because he did not have faith that he could do it.

1. It seems to me that there is a possibility that you do not have faith. I don't mean faith in god but faith in the situation, faith that (despite appearances) things will and are going well. Usually if you just assume from the getgo that things are going fine and treat the situation as such it just ends up happening that way. But if you keep digging into the situation to try to find out if things are actually going well you will find it to be illusive.

----------------------------------------

Next part, a quote from Benjamin Franklin:

"If you would be loved, love, and be loveable."

Maybe you are not feeling anything for the persons who you are seeing and they are picking it up on their end? It sounds like you are searching for how they may be feeling but have not established it for yourself how you feel. An alpha type person establishes that they like someone regardless of how that other person may be feeling about them because the alpha type person believes that he or she can convince the other person otherwise. Andrew Carnegie also said something in his autoiography that comes to mind regarding relationships to other people...I am not sure what the quote is exactly...The point of it as best as I can explain it is that he said "do not worry about what someone else thinks about you, if you like that person and have good regards for them they will eventually come around to like you". Thats the jist of it. It kind of reflects on B.Franklin in the "love and be loved". I find that people (even rotten people) really just want to be liked and if you like them and treat them nicely they will like you in return. The fragrance of the rose remains on the hand that gives it.

Just keep trying, be patient, and believe that things will go right sooner or later and sooner or later it will just plop right there in front of you like it has been there all along.


-----------------------------------------





TheLoneINTJ added to this post, 12 minutes and 40 seconds later...

Oah, another addition!

“Brick walls are there for a reason, they let us prove how badly we want something.“ -the Last Lecture guy

Maybe there is something about you that is triggering the "play hard to get" reaction? After all, if you are assuming that it is a no brainer... that which is obtained easily is not as appreciated as that which is obtained after much difficulity?

[alphawolf]

	Originally Posted by TheLoneINTJ To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	An alpha type person establishes that they like someone regardless of how that other person may be feeling about them because the alpha type person believes that he or she can convince the other person otherwise.

Like with a bold, mind-blowing kiss. The last woman I did that to, she was in my bed 2 hours later...

It will be a cold day in hell before I ever ask a woman if I can kiss her. Most of the time, the answer would probably be the dreaded "A
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
you're so sweet, but I just don't think of you in that way". Well, of course you don't, because you haven't had the chance.



I was out on a first lunch date with a very beautiful (inside and out), tall, stylish woman today. OMG, long brown hair, long black fur coat, high heels, sunglasses, and a smile that just would not stop.

We had a lot of fun, and she was constantly blushing after I gazed into her eyes. One time, right after she blushed and then looked back at me, I looked her straight in the eyes, smiled, and told her without blinking an eye that "I think you have a really beautiful smile" (and she does). Oh, she really turned red then. I just kept on smiling at her ;-) I walked her out to her car, and she was standing there in the sun, just looking so damned beautiful and happy. I gave her a big hug and kissed her on the cheek. I hope she isn't disappointed that I didn't kiss her on the lips, but damn, that would have just been too much for me to handle - I had to go back to work and concentrate in some meetings ;-) I think she was happy, anyway, because she was still smiling and waving at me as I drove off!


When it rains, it pours...

[Prunesquallor]

Who are you targeting?
A lot of the advice posted on here will not work for a lot of girls. This whole 'alpha male' crap, for instance, just makes me want to punch these arrogant little twerps. Not that emotional and clingy is great either.
So what sort of girls do you like/approach? Do you even know anything about their personalities, or are you just thinking of looks?

[muguly]

Pick up the latest issue of Mens Health. There's an article in that talks about this very topic.

[INTroJect]

su·pe·ri·or·i·ty complex (s-pîr-ôr-t) n.

1. An exaggerated feeling of being superior to others.
2. A psychological defense mechanism in which a person's feelings of superiority counter or conceal his or her feelings of inferiority.





TheLoneINTJ added to this post, 0 minutes and 43 seconds later...

oops. Accidental post.





TheLoneINTJ added to this post, 9 minutes and 31 seconds later...

And wait. oops. I accidently post this one too...


To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


superiority complex
popularly a feeling of superiority or exaggerated self-importance, often accompanied by excessive aggressiveness, arrogance, etc. which are compensation for feelings of inferiority

[The Rose]

Why is there not a 2nd date?
Do you ask for one?
I think you're supposed to be the pursuer.

[alphawolf]

	Originally Posted by Prunesquallor To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Who are you targeting? A lot of the advice posted on here will not work for a lot of girls. This whole 'alpha male' crap, for instance, just makes me want to punch these arrogant little twerps.

It is about courage and self-acceptance to pursue your wildest dreams, with absolutely no guarantees of success - not even a little hint of success, nothing, nada, zip. It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's the attempt that makes the man and the lack of attempt that preserves the coward.

And men surely don't need advice from women on how to get women. Next thing you know, men would be your personal slaves in exchange for a little wink now and then.