More interest from females than males

**karenk** · 02-02-2009, 10:29 PM

There's been a pattern in my life that I get more attention from gay females than males. The females are younger than me too. I wonder if there is something about me that causes this, or if gay females just tend to like all kinds of other females. It's just something I've wondered since I've noticed this a long time ago. I'm not saying anything bad about it. If I could choose an orientation, I would choose gay. Of course we can't choose this.

**Solaris** · 02-02-2009, 10:31 PM

They are probably picking up on that "if I could choose" part.

**alphawolf** · 02-02-2009, 11:36 PM

Read again about the effects of emotional incest.

**Zombicide** · 02-02-2009, 11:42 PM

Analogously I receive this proportion of attention from other males actually, flattering as that has been, I'd prefer to get the attention you're receiving instead

**ToC** · 02-03-2009, 01:01 AM

Originally Posted by karenk
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There's been a pattern in my life that I get more attention from gay females than males. The females are younger than me too. I wonder if there is something about me that causes this, or if gay females just tend to like all kinds of other females. It's just something I've wondered since I've noticed this a long time ago. I'm not saying anything bad about it. If I could choose an orientation, I would choose gay. Of course we can't choose this.

My friend was saying something about gay guys.. how there are "bears" and "twinks". Maybe you come off as a "bear".

**meistergeist** · 02-03-2009, 03:07 AM

	Originally Posted by ToC To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	My friend was saying something about gay guys.. how there are "bears" and "twinks". Maybe you come off as a "bear".

...First of all, I'm pretty sure the OP is female, so this is just kind of offensive anyway. And I'm sure if a reasonable gay man heard you say anything like that, he'd be offended. Sorry, just bugs me.

	Originally Posted by alphawolf To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Read again about the effects of emotional incest.

What does that have to do with what she's saying? Being homosexual isn't incest... so what's your point?

**alphawolf** · 02-03-2009, 05:28 AM

	Originally Posted by meistergeist To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What does that have to do with what she's saying? Being homosexual isn't incest... so what's your point?

You are also able to read. And emotional incest is not sexual incest. Fire up google.

The effects of emotional incest include difficulty forming romantic relationships with the opposite sex: Where a woman says that all of her friends are men, or where a man says all of his friends are women, but they don't feel comfortable becoming sexual with opposite members that they really like. They tend to go after the worst behaving partner they can find.

I suspect that the effects could also include putting off an aura (subconsciously behaving in a certain way) that attracts same-sex members. I was subjected to emotional incest from my mother, and though I am not gay, I have been approached by quite a lot of "twinks"... I start to think this might have something to do with it.

Yeah, I am a big, hairy, rough man. But I like very good looking, feminine women. And most of them have been really badly behaving women, too.

**karenk** · 02-03-2009, 11:14 AM

	Originally Posted by Solaris To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	They are probably picking up on that "if I could choose" part.

That's based on thinking a same sex relationship is so much easier, which I realize people say isn't true. I still think there are simpler components to it. I've only fallen for males though.

karenk added to this post, 5 minutes and 41 seconds later...

Originally Posted by alphawolf
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The effects of emotional incest include difficulty forming romantic relationships with the opposite sex: Where a woman says that all of her friends are men, or where a man says all of his friends are women, but they don't feel comfortable becoming sexual with opposite members that they really like. They tend to go after the worst behaving partner they can find.

I suspect that the effects could also include putting off an aura (subconsciously behaving in a certain way) that attracts same-sex members. I was subjected to emotional incest from my mother, and though I am not gay, I have been approached by quite a lot of "twinks"... I start to think this might have something to do with it.

Yeah, I am a big, hairy, rough man. But I like very good looking, feminine women. And most of them have been really badly behaving women, too.

This makes sense. I probably do something subconsciously. Also, if I'm attracted to a male I try to appear the opposite, and try to discreetly observe the person.

**wotsamattaU** · 02-03-2009, 11:32 AM

I worked with a woman once who had a very sexual vibe. She was friendly, outgoing, funny - easy for everyone to be with.

She naturally pulled sexual energy from whomever she was with. Didn't matter if they were straight or not. Her love life with her husband was very active and creative. I think she just unconsciously radiated sexuality. She confessed to me once she did not understand why lesbians often approached her, as she was in no way interested in that life style and never intended to give the impression she was.

Very girly girls also seem to garner their share of unwanted attention among both sexes.

Other women who seem to be strong and forthright in their beliefs seem to get approached in this way too. I think it is the masculine thinking that is the appeal.

**Indubitably** · 02-03-2009, 04:47 PM

lol I feel your pain. I definitely get more interest from the fellas than the ladies (or at least it is a lot more obvious with guys). I've also noticed that I've garnered the attention of a disproportionately high number of women who are bi. Not that I mind, I'm just as happy dating bi women, but I think about half of the girls I date turn out to be bi, and statistically speaking they make up a fairly small percentage of the population.

**Vagrant** · 02-04-2009, 11:24 AM

While you are INFJ, I can see the appeal of an INTJ woman to a lesbian -- INTJ woman can (Don't kill me) act "butch" with no qualms, which may be attractive to a lesbian.

Perhaps you send off that vibe?

02-02-2009, 10:29 PM	#1
karenk Member [05%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 234	There's been a pattern in my life that I get more attention from gay females than males. The females are younger than me too. I wonder if there is something about me that causes this, or if gay females just tend to like all kinds of other females. It's just something I've wondered since I've noticed this a long time ago. I'm not saying anything bad about it. If I could choose an orientation, I would choose gay. Of course we can't choose this.
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02-02-2009, 10:31 PM	#2
Solaris Core Member [178%] MBTI: ENTJ Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 7,152	They are probably picking up on that "if I could choose" part.
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02-02-2009, 11:36 PM	#3
alphawolf Veteran Member [59%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,361	Read again about the effects of emotional incest.
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02-02-2009, 11:42 PM	#4
Zombicide Core Member [107%] MBTI: INTj Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 4,306	Analogously I receive this proportion of attention from other males actually, flattering as that has been, I'd prefer to get the attention you're receiving instead
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02-03-2009, 11:32 AM	#9
wotsamattaU Member [18%] MBTI: INFP Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 759	I worked with a woman once who had a very sexual vibe. She was friendly, outgoing, funny - easy for everyone to be with. She naturally pulled sexual energy from whomever she was with. Didn't matter if they were straight or not. Her love life with her husband was very active and creative. I think she just unconsciously radiated sexuality. She confessed to me once she did not understand why lesbians often approached her, as she was in no way interested in that life style and never intended to give the impression she was. Very girly girls also seem to garner their share of unwanted attention among both sexes. Other women who seem to be strong and forthright in their beliefs seem to get approached in this way too. I think it is the masculine thinking that is the appeal.
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02-03-2009, 04:47 PM	#10
Indubitably Member [34%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,382	lol I feel your pain. I definitely get more interest from the fellas than the ladies (or at least it is a lot more obvious with guys). I've also noticed that I've garnered the attention of a disproportionately high number of women who are bi. Not that I mind, I'm just as happy dating bi women, but I think about half of the girls I date turn out to be bi, and statistically speaking they make up a fairly small percentage of the population.
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02-04-2009, 11:24 AM	#11
Vagrant Core Member [157%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 6,313	While you are INFJ, I can see the appeal of an INTJ woman to a lesbian -- INTJ woman can (Don't kill me) act "butch" with no qualms, which may be attractive to a lesbian. Perhaps you send off that vibe?
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