[vampyremage]

I think its more apt to say that my appearance and my personality contribute to one another. I am a petite 100 lb 5'4" female. In the past I was rather unassuming, medium length messy brown hair and I just sort of faded into a crowd. Now days, however, I stand out much more. I have taken control of my appearance, adding dreadlocks, piercings and numerous tattoos. I have taken steps to mold my appearance in such a way as fits my physical ideal. I have a certain self image that I'm working towards and without a doubt my personality contributes to the ideal self-image that I hold in my head. With every modification and every tattoo that I gain, I a just a little bit closer to the ideal of what I one day want to look like. I consider it to be very much a case of my outer body reflecting my inner mind.

As a consequence of the changes I am slowly making to my outside appearance, however, I have had to learn to be just a little more outgoing and just a little less shy. Strangers on the skytrain will sometimes ask me about my mods because they are there for all to see and some of them are of a less than common nature (2 gauge nostril dermal punches for example). The result is that I am slowly becomming more comfortable with causual conversation with complete strangers.

[BellaBianca]

Yes. It makes me more open and outgoing.
When I want to.

[Nonsuch]

Yes, my appearance affects my personality, at least when I'm dealing with strangers. I want to tone it down in these situations.

[fokalina]

I'm pleased with both, normally. And normally, I am pleasant.
(But that's my most neutral state: I'm not thinking about how I look or how I'm acting, I'm just being me, doing whatever I'd doing.)

The most superficial, yet evident, connection between appearance and personality (actually I may just be talking about mood
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) is through people's responses to me.
There are three ranges/ranks of response: too little, okay, too much. When "okay", I am okay (surprisingly enough) and in my neutral state of pleasantness. When "too little" or "too much", I am irritated, disgusted, disappointed, and quite unsociable. I suppose it's appropriate to say they increase my T, as I care less (little) about people and their wants/needs, and my I, as I desire more (immediate) seclusion and non-people thoughts.

What's unfortunate is that at the present, is is very difficult to be relatively attractive (to myself and others) without crossing into "too much".

[fishphlem]

I would say yes-kind-of, my physical appearance effects how I act around others. Sometimes I find my appearance to be discouraging to me, sometimes it isn't, but really I think this is just because I feel that I will always be trying to improve my appearance no matter how great that may become i the future... on the flip side, my personality is affecting my appearance, because I feel that it is something I must be improving, and that would be an ideal made by my own 'personality'.

For example: right now, I have a staph infection. There is a rash near my nose that isn't all that noticeable and a rash on the back and top of my head (yeah, weird). So, today, I wasn't really feeling like I wanted to talk to anyone or for anyone to see me, in case they would see this rash. Then when I was going to breakfast, this girl from my dorm that I've seen a bunch of times that I haven't really talked to looked at me, and I tried to completely avoid eye contact because my appearance didn't want me to. My personality made me care about the possibility that a flaw in my own appearance could have been recognized.

[alpha2011]

Hm-mm...I wouldn't say it is my appearance as much it is a vibe that I give out in person that contributes. But just judging by the pictures of me - I tend to warn people "don't let the dimples confuse you as I am neither sweet nor submissive kind." But the expression on my face when I am being serious or sarcastic most definitely does contribute a lot!

[Glathannus]

I was musing over this issue recently.

I know I was good-looking at least as a kid, even though I didn't care about that. While I never tried to use my appearance to get more slack or opportunities from anyone, I've also come to realize that people usually want to believe in you when they like the way you look. If you've been surrounded by people (not just family members) who want to believe in you, then that could boost your confidence when you aren't consciously aware that your appearance has anything to do with what's going on. It was probably a factor in the mildness of my Introversion. I'm more outgoing than a lot of other people who identify as Introverts.

It's more acceptable for you to be a nerd when people who see you or meet you, reach the conclusion that you could have easily been anything else. Being better-looking means you are granted more social license to be whatever you choose to be.

[n8ey]

I used to believe that appearance mattered... I got dressed to the nines and felt pretty good, 'cause I was lookin' sharp and wearin' the best.

And then I realized that I was behaving that way because of what I thought those clothes meant.

Then I started behaving like "all that and a bag of chips" without those expensive clothes, and found people still reacted as if I WAS "all that and a bag of chips".

So, I think appearance leads to a betterment of confidence, but it isn't the clothes themselves.

[Taryuna]

Certainly a bit. My physical apperance influences how others perceive my personality and renders certain behaviour more or less effective. The feedback influences my expectations of others' reactions and in turn my personality - or at least the outward expression of my personality.

With 1.60, I'm smaller than most people and often thought to be younger than I am. At least I'm not hearing "cute" as often as I used to, but I'm certainly not naturally intimidating. (Although apparently I do manage the "don't bother me"-look quite fine, even unintentionally. Ah, the perks of being an INTJ...)
I noticed that people sometimes underestimate me at first, only to overestimate me later. In other cases, people seem to be surprised when they finally notice that I really am smaller than them.

In turn, I've gotten used to people being surprised when they first meet me and learn for example that I'm studying Computer Science. I know that it's usually pointless to try to look threatening when someone is physically taller than me (which is just about all the time), unless I'm aiming for the comic effect. I've made the experience that being underestimated can have its advantages.

Outside of noticing some recurring reaction patterns, I don't care very much about how my appearance affects others or their expectations about me. I don't choose my clothes based on what others will expect, but only by what I like and don't like.

[Equinox]

So here's my question: why do so many people think of INTJs as naive or immature? I'm 22, and with my goatee I look 18 or 19, but without it I look like a 15 year old kid, so that might be part of it. But almost EVERY TIME any girl/woman meets me for the first time, she almost invariably acts like I'm made of glass or around 7 years old. They put on this really fake smile and use a high-pitched voice you'd use to talk to a little child, and most of them seem to "make sure I don't hurt your feelings," or at least it comes off that way. I don't understand it at all, since I'm well-spoken and never engage small talk. Even other guys treat me a little too politely to be polite, if you understand what I mean. They ask me questions that I feel are intended to acknowledge my presence, but nothing more. From what I understand, a lot of INTJs here have the same problem, where people treat them like kids for no reason. So why does it happen to us?

[moonmilk]

From the model "I am who I think you think I am." I want to say yes...but I think deep down inside does not change, however; we may act differently based on our appearance to get what we want.

[Mohammad]

my personality matches my appearance very well.

heh, in fact, i have been told i look formal, even when i am dressed down to my t-shirt, jeans and boots.
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[Asocialkat]

I'm another one that looks much younger than I really am. I was carded for a rated-R movie in college. That was embarrassing. I'm 31 now, but people tend to assume that I'm around 22 when they first meet me.

As a result, I am not taken seriously in work situations. It doesn't help matters that I use humor and wit as social lubricant and to deflate confrontation/tense situations (and more importantly, so that I'm not bored stiff when interacting with others). When I crack jokes or toss out a few one-liners, it doesn't really send out a message that I WANT to be taken seriously.

Both paired together creates some sort of weird feedback loop, I think. I don't like to be serious, so I'm not. Other people don't take me seriously and treat me much younger than I am. That perception is reinforced and internalized. I continue to act younger than I might SHOULD act. But I don't enjoy acting like I have a stick up my ass. I'm not even sure that I'm ABLE to act more seriously and more uptight. It's just not in me.

The one thing that has helped is my current job. I work with 12-13 year olds. I HAVE to act more mature, demand respect, and I can't fall back on humor. The consequence is that my personality at work does not match my natural personality. Plus, I've started feeling quite ugly, even though I actually dress nice and wear make-up most every day.

I'm struggling with trying to figure out what that means.

[Tactical Panda]

Superficially, yes.

[ajrosales]

Of course the answer is - "yes". Physical appearance conveys to other people how they should react to you, which, in turn makes you react in specific ways to your environment. Are you intimidating? mousy? cuddly? strange? sporty? preppy? artsy? relaxed? sleek?

You're going to get a bevy of responses to your exterior which is going to affect your emotional and psychological state. positive stimuli are going to reinforce your attitude and style, leading to a more positive frame of mind. Sometimes it can also lead to arrogance though, which is a bad thing. Normally, it should more than likely lead to your positive personality traits coming out to the forefront.

And vice versa if you get a negative response.

[n8ey]

I tried a new experiment the past two weeks. I tried wearing a light shirt and red tartan tie on Fridays, and found that women approached me much more often on Fridays than on other days of the week.

I did this in working-class neighborhoods as well as downtown/upper middle class bars.

I should note that I usually I work dark-colored shirts and black ties every other day of the week.

There is definitely a social component to this.

[peppersasen]

Indirectly, not automatically, but it eventually led to that. It affects the way others treat me, and the treatment I receive from others (from a very young age, on a daily basis) shapes my personality.

---------- Post added 03-05-2011 at 11:30 AM ----------

Originally Posted by n8ey To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I tried a new experiment the past two weeks. I tried wearing a light shirt and red tartan tie on Fridays, and found that women approached me much more often on Fridays than on other days of the week. I did this in working-class neighborhoods as well as downtown/upper middle class bars. I should note that I usually I work dark-colored shirts and black ties every other day of the week. There is definitely a social component to this.

Just curious. Is tartan regarded as a sign of "preppiness" in your country?

[n8ey]

	Originally Posted by peppersasen To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Just curious. Is tartan regarded as a sign of "preppiness" in your country?

It can be - but I don't think that so much as it's a bright red pattern - the Fraser clan.

I've also tried a pale blue and a violet paisley - they both worked similarly.

[HAL 9000]

Yes, I would say it does. I wouldn't consider myself intimidating, but people say I give off an intelligent vibe when they first meet me. I dig it.

[VF1J]

Originally Posted by n8ey To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I tried a new experiment the past two weeks. I tried wearing a light shirt and red tartan tie on Fridays, and found that women approached me much more often on Fridays than on other days of the week. I did this in working-class neighborhoods as well as downtown/upper middle class bars. I should note that I usually I work dark-colored shirts and black ties every other day of the week. There is definitely a social component to this.

We need a bigger sample size, I'll help with this experiment.

[imaqt125]

5'8", 125 lbs and rather good looking
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I appear to be shy and for some reason old people call me sweetheart. Once I'm comfortable around people they realize that my looks are decieving. I think it kind of detracts because I don't attract the kind of people I am able to get along with, they tend to write me off as sweet/innocent. Those I do attract think my thoughts, opinions, and sense of humor are disturbing.

[JackCY]

Tall and thin, underweight, can't raise a weight at all, just learn to live with it and make fun of it, it's gonna change itself as I get older.
And yes it does affect. How I look, what I wear affects how I feel and how I behave etc. everything a little.

[antistu]

Interesting enough, I went to a parade with my wife and daughter last weekend and we met one of my wives coworkers. I barely said hello and spent most of the time catering to my daughter. However, back at work my wife was poked at by her coworkers that ‘her husband’ (being me) was completely opposite from her. Given the fact no one spoke to me or knows anything about me – I gather all of this was determined by my appearance.

[shaman herb]

yes, i believe there is a connection between how people treat you according to your appearance and how that effects the way you view yourself. for example, people have told me that i look like a shady character . they have told me i look shady/suspicious mostly because i have dark bags under my eyes (im only 18 though). so after a while of having heard this, i really feel like i look like a shady character out in public, and so i act accordingly. i start to look around without realizing how strange i look. i also have a slight anxiety about it now as well. when people look at me, i get paranoid that they think im a coke head or something .