The Perfect INTJ Mate - Page 3

**AliTree** · 12-18-2008, 10:49 PM

	Originally Posted by Acextreme To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	WHAT! Did I read wrongly or did you mistype it? Very low to no sex drive? Then what's the point of finding a guy if you don't want sex? You would be better off with girls...or are you looking for gays? To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

*sigh* an amazing concept: loving a person for just them; no other primitive reasons. & no, i'm not gay nor want a gay male. it's called asexuality.

	Originally Posted by Jinxu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Okay. So if we were to go out, what do you have to offer??? To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

ha, in terms of what?

	Originally Posted by Franklin71 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	My idea mate would be just like me. Except female. And when we eventually kill each other, the explosion will take out 20 city blocks. It'll be beautiful.

i srsly lawld all over myself when i read this.
XD!!! amazing.

**Jinxu** · 12-19-2008, 09:55 AM

	Originally Posted by AliTree To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	ha, in terms of what?.

I only need to know ONE thing: Can you cook??? he he j/k

Since it relates to this thread, these are the five top things I use to evaluate a potential date/girlfriend:

1)Is she of the legal age of consent?
2)Is she cute?
3)Does she have a nice personality?
4)Is she intelligent enough?
5)Is she shorter than I am?

**OneHertz** · 12-19-2008, 11:18 AM

I am not sure about the intelligence aspect. I do not think I care too much and I am sure I will never find a woman smarter than I am so it is not anything I am worried about. That notion hit a while ago back in junior high school when I got #1 in my school in some province wide math/logic contest and got invited to a university along with a lot of the other winners for the "best of the best" contest. It was really cool, we got to live in res for free for a week with free food and such. Out of the 50 people there only 6 were females and in the end ALL SIX were in the bottom half of the list. I got #3 on that contest. God damn the asian dude that got #1 was smart. Seeing him work made me quit mathematics forever.

**Saint** · 12-19-2008, 11:30 AM

1.) She must be incredibly smart. Smarter than me would be awesome. Mutual admiration is best. How can I love her if I don't admire her? (and vice versa)

2.) I have to find her attractive? I find all kinds of girls attractive, but lean/athletic helps quite a bit. I love tall girls. I love short girls. I love very reserved types, I love superbly cheery types. I love small breasted girls. I love large breasted girls, and so on. The real requirement is simply attractive to me. Can run a few miles without stopping I suppose is a req?

3.) has not not get angry very much. has to be emotionally stable. I am calm/quiet/relaxed so I prefer those kinds of people. Angry people scare me. Cheery is wonderful, just not frantic.

4.) She has to want to always be bettering herself intellectually/emotionally/spiritually/physically. Has to be ambitious in that sense. Has to want to be an exceptional person. Like I said before, How can I love her if I don't admire her? (and of course, vice versa, as I strive to better myself in the same ways)

5.) has to be kind/generous on some level, even if she does have a heart of iron (and I think I have a thing for those girls for some reason?)

6.) non-religious helps. Consistent worldviews help. (not that our worldviews must match, but that hers must be consistent with herself)

7.) has to be happy before she meets me.

**SeaCzar** · 12-19-2008, 12:02 PM

There is no such thing as a "perfect" mate. I am of the opinion that there is no "ideal" mate either. As Lucid pointed out, "while I am dreaming...."

**Kisai** · 12-19-2008, 12:06 PM

I agree. Before I got married, I had to kiss my idea of a 'perfect mate' goodbye and accept that she was never going to come.

The 'perfect mate' isn't someone else. It is the ideal you. The part that you desire completion for. The best thing you can do is to strive to be the person that you perceive your perfect mate to be.

**ElstonGunn** · 12-19-2008, 02:19 PM

	Originally Posted by Kisai To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	The best thing you can do is to strive to be the person that you perceive your perfect mate to be.

What if your ideal of your perfect/ideal/best reasonably possible mate is very unlike you? I'd hate to end up with someone like myself, so does that mean that I should try to alter my personality, or should I force myself to become interested in women who naturally repel me?

Just asking.

**Lucid** · 12-19-2008, 02:56 PM

	Originally Posted by SeaCzar To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	There is no such thing as a "perfect" mate. I am of the opinion that there is no "ideal" mate either. As Lucid pointed out, "while I am dreaming...."

Yeah, but the title of this thread is "INTJ perfect Mate" Not "INTJ attainable mate" or "INTJ realistic Mate."

We can always dream and then try to find someone who matches our ideals in some ways.
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**rara avis** · 12-19-2008, 04:06 PM

	Originally Posted by SeaCzar To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	There is no such thing as a "perfect" mate. I am of the opinion that there is no "ideal" mate either. As Lucid pointed out, "while I am dreaming...."

I have little trouble knowing what I don't want. I've proven that over many years not dating at all. This is, in a way, an exercise for me... to sift through possibilities, to try to get myself into a mental position where I have a better chance of recognizing a few good features worth pursuing in someone I meet. I'm not crafting a manifesto.

One of my friends has a two-item checklist he's put together for evaluating my potential romantic interests:

[ ] Guy must be independently willing to go to ComicCon. (Yes, there are men would go with me- but are they a personality that would enjoy it?)
(subset of this item: would Doc Hammer like this guy?)

[ ] Guy must make me turn very, very red on sight. (He's seen this happen roughly twice, I think, and is convinced it's a sign of... something serious.)

**Anton** · 12-19-2008, 07:01 PM

There's two interesting viewpoints I've seen when it comes to this:

Ultimately, it is not ideal to want specific traits in another person You never know who you might love, like, hate or dislike until you actually meet them. "Open your mind to the possibility that your soul-mate and greatest ally in life isn't necessarily richer than you, prettier than you, smarter than you, taller than you, funnier than you, or even the same generation as you. These restrictions you place on the possibilities of finding your spiritual partner will.... well, I think you know!".

This was true in my last relationship. In time, I fell hard for a girl who, appearance wise, I would normally not even give a second glance. I learned an important lesson from that: Never, EVER tell a girl something like that.


	"We accept the love we think we deserve"

When you see people living with guilt or low selfesteem you notice they self sabotage themselves time and time again.

Anyways, I may as well entertain the questions in this thread. I'd like a girl who is shorter than me, petite, blue eyes, soft skin, straight hair, smells good...as in..y'know...^_^ oh yes! I'm missing one of the most important things! ~*Personality*~
Someone who can SPELL and has good grammar. I really don't mind if she's smarter than me or not, as long as she's close enough where we can relate to each other. Someone who isn't materialistic (considering I'm poor as *#@$) and she must believe that she deserves a guy like me. And I have to believe that I deserve her. Simple, if we deserve each other, then we're right for each other.

(oh and the reason my dream girl is petite, is because in my experience, sex with petite girls is.... RAWR! =D )

*edit* Can't forget, low maintenance!

**LaoTzu** · 12-19-2008, 07:40 PM

I see a lot of talk about intelligence in this thread, some for it, and some indifferent to it....

In my past relationships I have found it most important that if she is not as intelligent, that she be able to CHANGE HER MIND when faced with (what I thought) was a more intelligent opinion. Several of them had a hard time accepting my opinion (being self effacing leads some to think that Im not as smart as I really am), some felt intimidated in arguments with me... it really led to strain in the relationship. Being able to talk to someone who is actually thinking it through is important. And someone who is smart enough to see through my bullshit is VERY important.(Its a respect thing.....)

#1 for me is self confidence... enough to say "hey listen, it means a lot that we do it this way"... or more importantly, when I am just being difficult for the sake of being difficult to say "hey.... stop being such an asshole and love me
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"

#2 CARING : someone that will do nice things to me or for me, just because they actually care that Im happy.

#3 Self reliant: I dont want to be the centre of anyone's universe.....

#4 GENUINE. They have to be able to see through the masks people wear, see through the advertising, and not allow themselves to get caught up in being something or someone that they are not. They have to be comfortable in their own skin.

There's more of course.... but I just filled out a GD profile on a dating site and this is giving me flashbacks :P

**AliTree** · 12-20-2008, 10:47 PM

	Originally Posted by Jinxu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I only need to know ONE thing: Can you cook??? he he j/k Since it relates to this thread, these are the five top things I use to evaluate a potential date/girlfriend: 1)Is she of the legal age of consent? 2)Is she cute? 3)Does she have a nice personality? 4)Is she intelligent enough? 5)Is she shorter than I am?

fuck no i don't cook.
ha, i hate cooking. when i live alone forever, i'll cook but i won't enjoy it.

& yr evaluation list seems pretty normal/average. you must go for just about anything, hahaha.

**maxpot46** · 12-21-2008, 09:23 AM

	Originally Posted by Anton To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	In time, I fell hard for a girl who, appearance wise, I would normally not even give a second glance. I learned an important lesson from that: Never, EVER tell a girl something like that.

This is hilarious
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**rahdam** · 12-21-2008, 05:34 PM

Loyalty and trust come first and foremost.
I need someone who can engage me mentally and physically.
I need someone reasonably athletic.
I want someone who motivates me to push forward, and for who I do the same.
I want someone to whom I can give stability.
I want someone who will go on adventures with me.

**maxpot46** · 12-21-2008, 09:39 PM

Attributes I'm looking for in my next relationship:

1. Beautiful -- not "pretty" but seriously hot (geeky girls who don't know how hot they are included).

2. Attractive -- not the same as #1, my ex is one of the most beautiful women on the planet... but she's not my type and I've never felt sexual passion for her (I went with it because I figured it was my problem). I like skinny girls the most, but also athletic girls.

3. Intellectual -- not just an N, but someone who lives with their head in the clouds like me. Someone who disdains movies, TV and fiction, and prefers stimulating ideas and conversation.

4. Self-actualizing -- I'm committed to physical, mental and spiritual improvement, and I want someone who naturally walks that path as well. Ideally, she would be able to help me on the spiritual part, since I haven't done much work there and frankly have already highly developed myself physically and mentally (for a man my age, at any rate -- I do respect my elders).

5. Inspiring -- someone who makes me want to improve, and who will not let me accept my failures and failings.

6. Low-maintenance -- My ex viewed me as her "helpmate"... never again.

This list is arranged chronologically as opposed to by importance. I want and demand ALL of these things, else I'd rather be alone. However, since I'm looking for a beauty in both body and mind, it's a bit easier to look for beauty first due to the sensory nature of that part.

Storm · 12-21-2008, 10:39 PM

Well, as long we are all dreaming: (in no particular order)
1. Intelligent enough to hold their own in a conversation with me.
2. Similar values, interests and goals in life.
3. Physically healthy (surprised no one else has mentioned this)
4. Does not beleive in "traditional" gender roles.

Other traits can be variable.
A feeling or a thinking person can both potentially be a good match. Thinking people are easier to get along with, but feeling people can bring in an often much needed prespective.

If I were to pick out a type though I'd say ENTJ: A rational, reserved person who also is the life of a party and a natural leader. Drool.

**Jinxu** · 12-22-2008, 02:01 AM

	Originally Posted by AliTree To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	fuck no i don't cook. ha, i hate cooking. when i live alone forever, i'll cook but i won't enjoy it. & yr evaluation list seems pretty normal/average. you must go for just about anything, hahaha.

Not true.

**Sesquipedalian** · 12-22-2008, 02:54 AM

I want someone who is capable of keeping up intellectually. I don't expect them to like everything I like or understand everything as deeply as I might understand it, but just enough so that we can talk about things and have a meaningful exchange. I want my partner to value intelligence in themselves and me, and to build me up in this regard since I'm so naturally hard on myself.

I think my ideal temperament would be INFx with moderate-to-weak F and either weak P or weak J. I want someone to draw me out of myself emotionally and an F-type can do that, but an N-type can also relate to my strange sense of humor and need to be creative. I also want an F-type because there are times I need compassion in my direction (depression... weee...) and I need someone who might want to cuddle with me and love on me when I'm not at my best. I'd like a weak J or P because a strong J would result in more confrontations and a strong P's indecisiveness would drive me crazy.

Physically, I'm not huge on the whole height thing, but I tend to be more attracted to girls shorter than me (I'm 5'7"). I love the mesomorph body type. Athletic girls rock. I'd much prefer a girl who can run a marathon to one with huge boobs. In fact, I don't like huge breasts. If anything, they're an encumbrance. Ever seen a girl with D+ breasts try to run? Gah, talk about opposing forces. I want a girl who can keep up and who likes to take care of herself by exercising. B-cups and a nice pair of legs are fine, thanks. In fact, I like girls with slightly broader (muscular) shoulders and backs. Part of this probably stems from my competitive gymnastics background. Oh, and I'm a "face" guy. Some guys want a girl with a hot bod and could care less if her face looks like a car wreck. I want a girl who has an exquisitely beautiful face. Bodies are less important to me, but I'll be looking at that face for the rest of my life.

Emotionally, I just want someone who isn't a mess. ...someone who doesn't put up a blockade when there's a problem. Someone who can work things out verbally and agree to disagree if the issue is minor or ultimately inconsequential. Like I said above, someone who can draw me out of my shell and someone who I can live vicariously through emotionally.

Sexually, well, meh, this isn't that big for me. I think "sexual compatibility" is a stupid farce. I have a penis, so if she has a vagina, we're compatible. I'm a virgin myself and I'd ideally like for her to be as well. I look forward to exploring my future spouse sexually and growing together as we learn what each does and doesn't like.

I want a wife who looks forward to being a mom someday. I'd encourage her to have an active lifestyle and to pursue her interests. I don't want my kids "raised" by childcare though, I want a wife whose maternal instinct takes over when we decide to have kids together. Being a stay at home mom is one of the highest and most honorable things a mom can do.

I can't have a woman who is super-high-maintenance. I need someone who can enjoy the little things... Someone who doesn't need a $40 dinner and $20 movie every week just to have a good time. I relish staying home cooking something myself, and just enjoying each others' company or playing a fun game at home etc. Being a photographer, I'm probably not going to be loaded, so a moderately nice home with 2-3 kids would be fine. I will care a lot more about the quality of the items IN my house rather than the size of my house itself.

I also need a woman of faith, who believes similarly to me... Someone who cares enough about her beliefs to actually live them. My faith is too big a part of my life to ignore that in a potential mate.

**Acextreme** · 12-22-2008, 02:58 AM

	Originally Posted by AliTree To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	fuck no i don't cook. ha, i hate cooking. when i live alone forever, i'll cook but i won't enjoy it. & yr evaluation list seems pretty normal/average. you must go for just about anything, hahaha.

Haha, you WILL be surprised that most gals don't even fit most of that bill, much less the intelligent part...

**probity** · 12-22-2008, 04:55 PM

Okay, I'll be as straight-forward and honest as I can.

1. Mentally he's intelligent, more so than myself. He should be opinionated, not overly so, but enough so that he isn't intellectually a push over.

2. Temperament wise I like a man who is generally calm and thoughtful but very driven and passionate about what he does.

3. Physically I try not to be picky but because we're talking ideal he should be in shape and clean cut. Short, well kept hair. Dresses in well fitted clothes. Should be masculine not 'pretty'. He should enjoy looking like a man. He needs to be taller than me by at least 9-11 inches, that's not hard to do as I'm only 4'6". He needs to be able to reach the dreaded top shelf for me.

4. He should be able to control his emotions, probably better than I can, but he should feel very deeply. He also needs the empathy to understand my emotions, as subtle and hard to decipher as they can be...

5. He needs a high sex drive, but enough sexual control to be satisfied with one partner.

6. His goals have to align with mine or at least compliment mine. He should be educated and have a vision for his life.

7. He needs to live a productive and improvement based lifestyle. He also needs to be a bit traditional, wants a family and one of us to stay home to raise children (most likely me), but not before we have our vision well underway. He should highly value personal responsibility and growth.

8. He wants a family and household that is traditional and functions together to make the goals of the family a reality. There should be well defined understanding of the household ideals with the discipline and love to carry them out. He'll want children and one of us to stay home and raise the children (most likely me).

9. How should they interact with me? We should just mesh well together. He should be the controlled but passionate artisan to my controlled and cool-headed administrator. Different but working towards the same end.

He should be the kind of man who enjoys writing more than reading. I'm not sure why but that's always been an important quality to me.

**AliTree** · 12-22-2008, 04:58 PM

	Originally Posted by Acextreme To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Haha, you WILL be surprised that most gals don't even fit most of that bill, much less the intelligent part...

well the intelligent part, of course, is the only part that could make it kind of tough to get in. but the rest of the list sounds pretty typical.

**rara avis** · 12-22-2008, 05:16 PM

	Originally Posted by probity To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	4. He should be able to control his emotions, probably better than I can, but he should feel very deeply. He also needs the empathy to understand my emotions, as subtle and hard to decipher as they can be...

Well put. Not unemotional, but controlled, reserved. And I'd like to be able to tap in to him where others can't.

**AliTree** · 12-22-2008, 05:18 PM

	Originally Posted by rara avis To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	And I'd like to be able to tap in to him where others can't.

most definitely! i want to be able to get into his head more then anyone else.

**probity** · 12-22-2008, 07:00 PM

	Originally Posted by rara avis To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Well put. Not unemotional, but controlled, reserved. And I'd like to be able to tap in to him where others can't.

Yes, emotions are a must. I don't feel easily and if any romantic feelings are going to be pulled out of me I need a partner that's emotionally driven enough for the both of us. That said he also does need to be reserved.

I don't need my husband to be an emotional wreck who constantly needs 'fixing', that's what best friends are for.
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**ElstonGunn** · 12-22-2008, 07:24 PM

	Originally Posted by probity To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Yes, emotions are a must. I don't feel easily and if any romantic feelings are going to be pulled out of me I need a partner that's emotionally driven enough for the both of us. That said he also does need to be reserved.

Enough for both of you? Or able to pull emotions out of you? I'm just asking for clarification. In the former, it sounds like he'd be emotional and you wouldn't, but things would average out between the two of you somehow (even with him being reserved about it). In the second situation, it sounds like he'd be an emotional catalyst for you. Like he'd bring out the feeling side of you, even though it's normally somewhat dormant.

12-19-2008, 11:18 AM	#53
OneHertz Member [24%] MBTI: ISTJ Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 995	I am not sure about the intelligence aspect. I do not think I care too much and I am sure I will never find a woman smarter than I am so it is not anything I am worried about. That notion hit a while ago back in junior high school when I got #1 in my school in some province wide math/logic contest and got invited to a university along with a lot of the other winners for the "best of the best" contest. It was really cool, we got to live in res for free for a week with free food and such. Out of the 50 people there only 6 were females and in the end ALL SIX were in the bottom half of the list. I got #3 on that contest. God damn the asian dude that got #1 was smart. Seeing him work made me quit mathematics forever.
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12-19-2008, 11:30 AM	#54
Saint Member [08%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 321	1.) She must be incredibly smart. Smarter than me would be awesome. Mutual admiration is best. How can I love her if I don't admire her? (and vice versa) 2.) I have to find her attractive? I find all kinds of girls attractive, but lean/athletic helps quite a bit. I love tall girls. I love short girls. I love very reserved types, I love superbly cheery types. I love small breasted girls. I love large breasted girls, and so on. The real requirement is simply attractive to me. Can run a few miles without stopping I suppose is a req? 3.) has not not get angry very much. has to be emotionally stable. I am calm/quiet/relaxed so I prefer those kinds of people. Angry people scare me. Cheery is wonderful, just not frantic. 4.) She has to want to always be bettering herself intellectually/emotionally/spiritually/physically. Has to be ambitious in that sense. Has to want to be an exceptional person. Like I said before, How can I love her if I don't admire her? (and of course, vice versa, as I strive to better myself in the same ways) 5.) has to be kind/generous on some level, even if she does have a heart of iron (and I think I have a thing for those girls for some reason?) 6.) non-religious helps. Consistent worldviews help. (not that our worldviews must match, but that hers must be consistent with herself) 7.) *has to be happy before* she meets me.**
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12-19-2008, 12:02 PM	#55
SeaCzar Veteran Member [66%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 2,668	There is no such thing as a "perfect" mate. I am of the opinion that there is no "ideal" mate either. As Lucid pointed out, "while I am dreaming...."
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12-19-2008, 12:06 PM	#56
Kisai Core Member [353%] MBTI: XXXX Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 14,157	I agree. Before I got married, I had to kiss my idea of a 'perfect mate' goodbye and accept that she was never going to come. The 'perfect mate' isn't someone else. It is the ideal you. The part that you desire completion for. The best thing you can do is to strive to be the person that you perceive your perfect mate to be.
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12-19-2008, 07:40 PM	#61
LaoTzu Core Member [106%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 4,263	I see a lot of talk about intelligence in this thread, some for it, and some indifferent to it.... In my past relationships I have found it most important that if she is not as intelligent, that she be able to CHANGE HER MIND when faced with (what I thought) was a more intelligent opinion. Several of them had a hard time accepting my opinion (being self effacing leads some to think that Im not as smart as I really am), some felt intimidated in arguments with me... it really led to strain in the relationship. Being able to talk to someone who is actually thinking it through is important. And someone who is smart enough to see through my bullshit is VERY important.(Its a respect thing.....) #1 for me is self confidence... enough to say "hey listen, it means a lot that we do it this way"... or more importantly, when I am just being difficult for the sake of being difficult to say "hey.... stop being such an asshole and love me To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. " #2 CARING : someone that will do nice things to me or for me, just because they actually care that Im happy. #3 Self reliant: I dont want to be the centre of anyone's universe..... #4 GENUINE. They have to be able to see through the masks people wear, see through the advertising, and not allow themselves to get caught up in being something or someone that they are not. They have to be comfortable in their own skin. There's more of course.... but I just filled out a GD profile on a dating site and this is giving me flashbacks :P
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12-21-2008, 05:34 PM	#64
rahdam Core Member [219%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 8,771	Loyalty and trust come first and foremost. I need someone who can engage me mentally and physically. I need someone reasonably athletic. I want someone who motivates me to push forward, and for who I do the same. I want someone to whom I can give stability. I want someone who will go on adventures with me.
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12-21-2008, 09:39 PM	#65
maxpot46 Member [07%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 316	Attributes I'm looking for in my next relationship: 1. Beautiful -- not "pretty" but seriously hot (geeky girls who don't know how hot they are included). 2. Attractive -- not the same as #1, my ex is one of the most beautiful women on the planet... but she's not my type and I've never felt sexual passion for her (I went with it because I figured it was my problem). I like skinny girls the most, but also athletic girls. 3. Intellectual -- not just an N, but someone who lives with their head in the clouds like me. Someone who disdains movies, TV and fiction, and prefers stimulating ideas and conversation. 4. Self-actualizing -- I'm committed to physical, mental and spiritual improvement, and I want someone who naturally walks that path as well. Ideally, she would be able to help me on the spiritual part, since I haven't done much work there and frankly have already highly developed myself physically and mentally (for a man my age, at any rate -- I do respect my elders). 5. Inspiring -- someone who makes me want to improve, and who will not let me accept my failures and failings. 6. Low-maintenance -- My ex viewed me as her "helpmate"... never again. This list is arranged chronologically as opposed to by importance. I want and demand ALL of these things, else I'd rather be alone. However, since I'm looking for a beauty in both body and mind, it's a bit easier to look for beauty first due to the sensory nature of that part.
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12-21-2008, 10:39 PM	#66
Storm Administrator MBTI: xxxx Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 14,681	Well, as long we are all dreaming: (in no particular order) 1. Intelligent enough to hold their own in a conversation with me. 2. Similar values, interests and goals in life. 3. Physically healthy (surprised no one else has mentioned this) 4. Does not beleive in "traditional" gender roles. Other traits can be variable. A feeling or a thinking person can both potentially be a good match. Thinking people are easier to get along with, but feeling people can bring in an often much needed prespective. If I were to pick out a type though I'd say ENTJ: A rational, reserved person who also is the life of a party and a natural leader. Drool.
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12-22-2008, 02:54 AM	#68
Sesquipedalian Member [18%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 725	I want someone who is capable of keeping up intellectually. I don't expect them to like everything I like or understand everything as deeply as I might understand it, but just enough so that we can talk about things and have a meaningful exchange. I want my partner to value intelligence in themselves and me, and to build me up in this regard since I'm so naturally hard on myself. I think my ideal temperament would be INFx with moderate-to-weak F and either weak P or weak J. I want someone to draw me out of myself emotionally and an F-type can do that, but an N-type can also relate to my strange sense of humor and need to be creative. I also want an F-type because there are times I need compassion in my direction (depression... weee...) and I need someone who might want to cuddle with me and love on me when I'm not at my best. I'd like a weak J or P because a strong J would result in more confrontations and a strong P's indecisiveness would drive me crazy. Physically, I'm not huge on the whole height thing, but I tend to be more attracted to girls shorter than me (I'm 5'7"). I love the mesomorph body type. Athletic girls rock. I'd much prefer a girl who can run a marathon to one with huge boobs. In fact, I don't like huge breasts. If anything, they're an encumbrance. Ever seen a girl with D+ breasts try to run? Gah, talk about opposing forces. I want a girl who can keep up and who likes to take care of herself by exercising. B-cups and a nice pair of legs are fine, thanks. In fact, I like girls with slightly broader (muscular) shoulders and backs. Part of this probably stems from my competitive gymnastics background. Oh, and I'm a "face" guy. Some guys want a girl with a hot bod and could care less if her face looks like a car wreck. I want a girl who has an exquisitely beautiful face. Bodies are less important to me, but I'll be looking at that face for the rest of my life. Emotionally, I just want someone who isn't a mess. ...someone who doesn't put up a blockade when there's a problem. Someone who can work things out verbally and agree to disagree if the issue is minor or ultimately inconsequential. Like I said above, someone who can draw me out of my shell and someone who I can live vicariously through emotionally. Sexually, well, meh, this isn't that big for me. I think "sexual compatibility" is a stupid farce. I have a penis, so if she has a vagina, we're compatible. I'm a virgin myself and I'd ideally like for her to be as well. I look forward to exploring my future spouse sexually and growing together as we learn what each does and doesn't like. I want a wife who looks forward to being a mom someday. I'd encourage her to have an active lifestyle and to pursue her interests. I don't want my kids "raised" by childcare though, I want a wife whose maternal instinct takes over when we decide to have kids together. Being a stay at home mom is one of the highest and most honorable things a mom can do. I can't have a woman who is super-high-maintenance. I need someone who can enjoy the little things... Someone who doesn't need a $40 dinner and $20 movie every week just to have a good time. I relish staying home cooking something myself, and just enjoying each others' company or playing a fun game at home etc. Being a photographer, I'm probably not going to be loaded, so a moderately nice home with 2-3 kids would be fine. I will care a lot more about the quality of the items IN my house rather than the size of my house itself. I also need a woman of faith, who believes similarly to me... Someone who cares enough about her beliefs to actually live them. My faith is too big a part of my life to ignore that in a potential mate.
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12-22-2008, 04:55 PM	#70
probity Member [21%] MBTI: ISTP Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 857	Okay, I'll be as straight-forward and honest as I can. 1. Mentally he's intelligent, more so than myself. He should be opinionated, not overly so, but enough so that he isn't intellectually a push over. 2. Temperament wise I like a man who is generally calm and thoughtful but very driven and passionate about what he does. 3. Physically I try not to be picky but because we're talking ideal he should be in shape and clean cut. Short, well kept hair. Dresses in well fitted clothes. Should be masculine not 'pretty'. He should enjoy looking like a man. He needs to be taller than me by at least 9-11 inches, that's not hard to do as I'm only 4'6". He needs to be able to reach the dreaded top shelf for me. 4. He should be able to control his emotions, probably better than I can, but he should feel very deeply. He also needs the empathy to understand my emotions, as subtle and hard to decipher as they can be... 5. He needs a high sex drive, but enough sexual control to be satisfied with one partner. 6. His goals have to align with mine or at least compliment mine. He should be educated and have a vision for his life. 7. He needs to live a productive and improvement based lifestyle. He also needs to be a bit traditional, wants a family and one of us to stay home to raise children (most likely me), but not before we have our vision well underway. He should highly value personal responsibility and growth. 8. He wants a family and household that is traditional and functions together to make the goals of the family a reality. There should be well defined understanding of the household ideals with the discipline and love to carry them out. He'll want children and one of us to stay home and raise the children (most likely me). 9. How should they interact with me? We should just mesh well together. He should be the controlled but passionate artisan to my controlled and cool-headed administrator. Different but working towards the same end. He should be the kind of man who enjoys writing more than reading. I'm not sure why but that's always been an important quality to me.
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