[demaugustus]

In a social situation, such as a party, do you (ENTJ) find it difficult to engage in "small talk"? Do you feel energized by the environment, but feel it difficult to communicate because you want to talk about topics with more depth?

After my father died, I don't know what has come over me. I'm very outside myself and find myself acting like a novice ENTJ (by the classical definition). I don't know if this is because I've taken on a more alpha role in the household and wisdom has given me a confidence edge over others my age (18-30), or what? Women are more attracted to me for my confidence after my dad died, than they were before; this ins't because they feel the need to nurture me and I know the difference. Perhaps I'm simply a very confident INTJ?...

I'm going to go to a few parties, one tonight, to experiment with exactly how I'm becoming energized or drained. In a small group or in a class room I might as well be ENTJ (I'm very energized in a small group), but where small talk comes into play (typically on the streets or at a party), I find myself at loss of words.

How exactly does the Te/Ni diacotomy work in regards to socializing? An ENTJ is Te 1st and Ni 2nd and an INTJ is Ni 1st and Te second. Does this mean that an ENTJ is more inclined to be energized by all kinds of logically oriented socializing, when an INTJ is more inclined to act "ENTJ'sh" in a smaller setting?

[Sean O]

Small talk isn't "difficult" for me so much as it is boring. Like any other NT, I'm mainly energized by mental stimulation, and small talk doesn't usually do that for me. I'm at my most energized when I'm interacting with my environment in a mentally stimulating way (e.g. having a thought-provoking discussion with people). Also, small talk is more of an S kind of activity - it's influenced a lot by how you think. Most of the Ns I've known over the years have said that small talk doesn't come naturally to them, or at the very least it's not their preferred kind of conversation.

I'm sorry to hear about your father. It wouldn't surprise me if taking a more alpha role in the household would strengthen your Te a lot. I think there might be quite a few ENTJs who seem like INTJs because their Te isn't developed enough.
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and see if it applies to you at all.

[demaugustus]

Originally Posted by Sean O To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Small talk isn't "difficult" for me so much as it is boring. Like any other NT, I'm mainly energized by mental stimulation, and small talk doesn't usually do that for me. I'm at my most energized when I'm interacting with my environment in a mentally stimulating way (e.g. having a thought-provoking discussion with people). Also, small talk is more of an S kind of activity - it's influenced a lot by how you think. Most of the Ns I've known over the years have said that small talk doesn't come naturally to them, or at the very least it's not their preferred kind of conversation. I'm sorry to hear about your father. It wouldn't surprise me if taking a more alpha role in the household would strengthen your Te a lot. I think there might be quite a few ENTJs who seem like INTJs because their Te isn't developed enough. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. and see if it applies to you at all.

Interesting...I read the article about introverted extroverts and extroverted introverts. I think I've been an extroverted introvert for most of my life because how I was raised, but due to the fact that my father's death was/is complicated and I've had to open myself up to many people, this quote was very intriguing:

"An oddity of the EI is that they can change into other types. If an EI happens to be in a good personal relationship, their ultra-defensive inner self, which is the main driver, may become a much more evolved person, far less edgy than the average EI. They can even turn into Introverted Extroverts, a good result."

This is an interesting idea and has a lot of merit. It would be interesting though to know more about this on a biological level. Studies such as Johnson et al have found that there is an increasing amount of literature that suggests a biological correlation with introversion and extroversion. On a biological level are you always an introvert, ambivert, or extrovert and modify yourself as you mature or can you literally change yourself dramatically neurologically with enough effort and experience to become whatever you want?...It would be interesting to know.

[Sean O]

Since some of what makes person an introvert or an extrovert is the result of brain chemistry, I doubt a total switch could be made, but I think conditioning also plays a big role. The more "extroverting" an introvert does, the more comfortable he'll be with it in the future, so at that time he may end up being more of an ambivert (IE and EI seem to be different forms of an ambivert). I'm just speculating, though.

Getting back to what I was saying before, in my experience extroverted intuitives tend to not be stereotypical extroverts (which is what extroverted sensors usually are). Let me put it this way: it seems to me that E/I determines what "direction" we mainly get energy from (internally vs externally), and S/N determines what sources we get our energy from (mental vs sensory). An extroverted intuitive's ultimate source of energy is a lively, intelligent discussion. Small talk is rarely lively and intelligent, so even though we're with people, we usually get bored with excessive small talk, and boredom can be draining in a similar way that an introvert who doesn't get his down time can be drained. In those cases, we may prefer solitary activities if they'd be more stimulating.

Having said that, you may have been mistyped as an INTJ in the first place, and are actually an ENTJ. That was the case with me, actually - on MBTI tests, I always scored borderline on the I/E scale, and it wasn't uncommon for me to get ENTJ as a result. However, I didn't seem like a typical extrovert, so I assumed I must have been an INTJ. It was only after I began to realize the effect that being an N has on extroversion compared to being an S, that I realized I'm actually an ENTJ. There were always some things about being an INTJ that didn't really add up for me, and now I understand why.
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