[Natsilani]

So what exactly makes people want to approach and try to talk to you when you have headphones in, or are reading? Isn't it obvious you want to be left alone to your own world when you plug up the orifices responsible for outside sound recognition, or keep yourself busy with a book?

Today on the bus, listening to my mp3 player and doing homework in my lap, somebody tried to strike up a conversation with me by asking me some inane question. I told them "I don't know, and I'm not interested in talking to you". They acted all offended and changed seats.

Did I not state as plainly as a possibly could (well short of wearing a sign around my neck with "leave me the alone!" on it), that I didn't have any desire to interact with other human beings? Seriously, what is it with people that demand attention as if they are god's gift to everyone..

Anyone have a similar experience? Do you think it restricts to just one set of personality types (for example extraverted feelers)?

[LionsPride]

I was in an airport and a business contact happened to be on the same plane. I'm sitting in the waiting room outside the gate reading a book and he walks up to me and asks me a question. I responded, but my mind is on my book. My response was one of those closed ended responses that doesn't yield itself to ongoing conversation. I look down, return to reading and a few sentences into my book, he asks me a new question. He keeps on this way, silence followed by me reading followed by him spitting out a question that neither of us are interested in. I couldn't help wondering "You can see me reading and you aren't really interested in whether I was in Sydney or not, so why bother interrupting me to ask?"

[rara avis]

Boredom? Some people just can't entertain themselves in their own minds. Unfortunately, those same people aren't likely to entertain you, either. They're just boredom carrier monkeys.

I'll talk quite a lot in situations where it's necessary to chat and be sociable... it's a defensive measure, if I find that the other person can't for the life of them say anything interesting. So if we have to talk, someone had better be interesting to me. I nominate myself.

[Rikka]

i can't recall anyone ever doing that, actually- they probably did and i wasn't paying attention. I find that alot of times the other person will feel very awkward and want a conversation to get going, but will not take any initiative. I usually chuckle on the inside because it bothers them so much, and me not at all.

[Vagrant]

	Originally Posted by rara avis To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'll talk quite a lot in situations where it's necessary to chat and be sociable... it's a defensive measure, if I find that the other person can't for the life of them say anything interesting. So if we have to talk, someone had better be interesting to me. I nominate myself.

XD

I don't know how many times I've had to listen to a girl describe her life story to me while I look around and wonder in my mind why she won't shut up and let me speak. I usually respond with a very terse response.

[rara avis]

	Originally Posted by Vagrant To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	XD I don't know how many times I've had to listen to a girl describe her life story to me while I look around and wonder in my mind why she won't shut up and let me speak. I usually respond with a very terse response.

Your terse response will not suffice for my entertainment purposes.
Enjoy my life story, dude.


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[smashy]

Originally Posted by Natsilani To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

So what exactly makes people want to approach and try to talk to you when you have headphones in, or are reading? Isn't it obvious you want to be left alone to your own world when you plug up the orifices responsible for outside sound recognition, or keep yourself busy with a book? Today on the bus, listening to my mp3 player and doing homework in my lap, somebody tried to strike up a conversation with me by asking me some inane question. I told them "I don't know, and I'm not interested in talking to you". They acted all offended and changed seats. Did I not state as plainly as a possibly could (well short of wearing a sign around my neck with "leave me the alone!" on it), that I didn't have any desire to interact with other human beings? Seriously, what is it with people that demand attention as if they are god's gift to everyone.. Anyone have a similar experience? Do you think it restricts to just one set of personality types (for example extraverted feelers)?

I´m in London and there´s an unwritten golden rule in the tube (subway) here that you´re allowed to be quiet and NO ONE disturbs and speaks to no one, and you don´t need to be wearing headphones or reading a book, it´s just the way it is. There even are books and articles being written because of this, how can people be so unsocial in a especific place. Maybe even extroverted people don´t want to speak much at 8 in the morning in a crowded tube! lol

Usually people approach me and speak to me in other occasions, but I don´t remember people doing that while I´m listenning music or reading a book. And usually I speak a little and then give an excuse and leave. But I would never be rude to someone that speaks to me, I know that a lot of people that do that are very lonely people in their lives.

[zibber]

I don't mind a chat on the train or subway, that can be nice. It doesn't have to be so impersonal.

BUT

When I'm reading or listening to music, why the hell would you think I want to talk?

Also, my girlfriend has the habit of calling my rarely used home phone whenever I have my cell phone turned off. Again, my cell phone is turned off. 9 out of 10 times, it doesn't just turn itself off. (I dropped it once too many.) Now, why would I turn my telephone off? Bingo.

[elsdfr]

I'm thinking I should start wearing earphones and read things in public. No one ever strikes up a conversation with me.

Perhaps they think you're in a better place and they want you to be bored just like them?

Now I think about it a friend near me at work wears earphones. I usually throw what ever I can find at him when I'm tired of what I'm doing.

[SmileyMan]

Originally Posted by smashy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I´m in London and there´s an unwritten golden rule in the tube (subway) here that you´re allowed to be quiet and NO ONE disturbs and speaks to no one, and you don´t need to be wearing headphones or reading a book, it´s just the way it is. There even are books and articles being written because of this, how can people be so unsocial in a especific place. Maybe even extroverted people don´t want to speak much at 8 in the morning in a crowded tube! lol

Same here in Denmark, except it's anywhere in the public at any time.

[White Raven]

I think it's because the majority of people must assume we are only doing this out of desperate boredom, and obviously anything, even inane small talk, is going to be better than the horror of reading....without talking....alone.

[Kisai]

If there's a cutie, I'll say hello even if she has the headphones in, though I won't press to have a conversation. It annoys me though, - Hello? Cute guy over here!

[Sean O]

Originally Posted by Natsilani To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

So what exactly makes people want to approach and try to talk to you when you have headphones in, or are reading? Isn't it obvious you want to be left alone to your own world when you plug up the orifices responsible for outside sound recognition, or keep yourself busy with a book? Today on the bus, listening to my mp3 player and doing homework in my lap, somebody tried to strike up a conversation with me by asking me some inane question. I told them "I don't know, and I'm not interested in talking to you". They acted all offended and changed seats. Did I not state as plainly as a possibly could (well short of wearing a sign around my neck with "leave me the alone!" on it), that I didn't have any desire to interact with other human beings? Seriously, what is it with people that demand attention as if they are god's gift to everyone.. Anyone have a similar experience? Do you think it restricts to just one set of personality types (for example extraverted feelers)?

I'm assuming it's usually men who do this, right? You're a woman, so it's probably safe to say that they were hitting on you.
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[INTJoe]

	Originally Posted by Natsilani To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Today on the bus, listening to my mp3 player and doing homework in my lap, somebody tried to strike up a conversation with me by asking me some inane question. I told them "I don't know, and I'm not interested in talking to you". They acted all offended and changed seats.

lol. Awesome. I don't know if I'd be this terse with someone..."I'm not interested in talking to you"??? Those are fighting words.

But you are totally right, if I am listening to music or reading and some stranger asks me something stupid I would be fine with it once, but if they did it twice I would just give them an annoyed look and turn the other way and keep reading. Some people just can't take a hint. They're called Sensors.
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[rara avis]

	Originally Posted by Kisai To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	If there's a cutie, I'll say hello even if she has the headphones in, though I won't press to have a conversation. It annoys me though, - Hello? Cute guy over here!

Wait- where???

[Natsilani]

	Originally Posted by INTJoe To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	lol. Awesome. I don't know if I'd be this terse with someone..."I'm not interested in talking to you"??? Those are fighting words.

*snicker* hey, I was feeling extremely antisocial, if that was not bloody obvious they deserved it dammit!
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Actually, about a year ago in Germany, a friend and I went out for a boat ride. She said that I give people a look that plainly says "who the fuck are you and what the fuck do you want". She told me if she ever tried to look that way, she'd probably get smacked. I'm proud of my evil eye, but apparently some people can't take a hit. What else can you do but to resort to directness?

Being cute does not give a guy the right to hit on me dammit! Especially with inane questions..
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And I guess it's kinda cold of me, but I believe that I've got enough problems of my own to be watching my step around total strangers when I'm deep in thought, and actually putting forth an effort to not hurt their feelings. I don't behave like a jerk (I think), but I'm certainly not going to sensor myself, especially if I've made it plain that a conversation is unwanted.. I mean seriously, do I look like your friendly neighborhood counselor?
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Ahem, sorry for ranting, I am a tad tipsy tonight.

[True Rune]

At first I thought the OP was autistic, guess not.
Eh, otherwise I'm probably more polite than I should be, entertaining it until an opportunity to exit arrives. I'm an absolute nightmare to ride with in a car..to extroverts anyway. I just want to stare out the window and daydream..

[Natsilani]

	Originally Posted by True Rune To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	At first I thought the OP was autistic, guess not.

.. huh? How did you come to that conclusion?

	Originally Posted by True Rune To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Eh, otherwise I'm probably more polite than I should be, entertaining it until an opportunity to exit arrives. I'm an absolute nightmare to ride with in a car..to extroverts anyway. I just want to stare out the window and daydream..

Energy invested in pointless social 'dances' with strangers I will likely never see again is energy wasted, I'd rather be completely direct and to the point then, even if that makes me an asshole.

May also be a cultural difference though, I grew up in Germany, people are a lot more assholish there than in the states. The cultural pressure to be nice to everyone is much less.

[True Rune]

People normally don't say that, even when they don't want to be bothered. That's why. It's my personality I guess, I never try to be an asshole for no reason. Normally it isn't long enough to be a big deal to me and it's normally when I'm at a bus stop or something so I don't whine about it, but it is true that I'd rather not be bothered.