[MattG]

Hello. I was just thinking how uninteresting it is to meet someone over the internet. I hate meeting people over the phone, because you don't get to see what they look like. But at least over the phone you can get a sense of who they are from the intonations in their voice, and you can sort of tell whether you hit it off with them. That's never happened to me on the internet though, at least not without a nice picture attatched.

Anyway, I'm here because once again I find myself out of school without a job. I realize it probably has a lot with my inability to network which probably has a lot to do with my INTJ-ness.

[GOD]

Originally Posted by MattG

Hello. I was just thinking how uninteresting it is to meet someone over the internet. I hate meeting people over the phone, because you don't get to see what they look like. But at least over the phone you can get a sense of who they are from the intonations in their voice, and you can sort of tell whether you hit it off with them. That's never happened to me on the internet though, at least not without a nice picture attatched. Anyway, I'm here because once again I find myself out of school without a job. I realize it probably has a lot with my inability to network which probably has a lot to do with my INTJ-ness.

Hi, you're not actually "meeting" anyone. Just bouncing information between people.

Agreed that the networking thing is quite important. INTJs aren't any good at it... which is a major prob if you live somewhere smaller where its who knows who, rather than who knows what...

[qwerty]

MattG you're right they do say that communication is along the 9-1 ratio for body and tonal output against the words you say, so how well do you know someone over the internet?

I've always pictured it like a book where the characters change over time, or new information develops. With people in real life I have quite a few acquaintances, I know their mannerisms their tones and their ideas; but because I'm not actively involved in their life I have know idea about the small things that matter when you're friends with a person.
On the internet because you are forced to communicate in text, ultimately you are forced to share these small day-to-day happenings in your life and thus you build a character in the readers eyes. If this wasn't the case then forums/chats and other interactive devices wouldn't work.

I'm not saying it's better than real life, it's just another medium. Personally I use the internet to poke and draw a response that I can apply and fit to a person in real life.

[mind_wander]

It is good way to study, on each person's thinking processors; but it is a medium, for you to feel at ease. Then confronting it in real life, more like practicing on your networking skills.

[MattG]

Qwerty, that's an interesting way of thinking about online interactions, as if they're characters in a book. I never really thought about it being a different type of communication.
Sorry I started out with such a negative first post. I think I'm probably projecting my overall disappointment with my real life relationships or lack thereof.

[Ijz]

Hi Matt, welcome to the forum.

According to NLP there is a world of knowledge available in the words of a person. Whether someone says "I see" or "I hear ya" tells you whether he or she is using their visual- or auditory system.This is true for both online and "real" conversations. The benefit with online forum posts is that you can take the time to understand what another person is trying to say and respond accordingly. The down-side is that you miss all those subconscious visual- and auditory signals that every person emits.

Personally I don't really miss those visual and auditory signals that much, as I don't pay much attention to them in real life anyway. I find it quite refreshing to talk to people on forums like this. If just seems a more effective communication tool for me.

[rwyatt365]

	Originally Posted by MattG
	Qwerty, that's an interesting way of thinking about online interactions, as if they're characters in a book. I never really thought about it being a different type of communication. Sorry I started out with such a negative first post. I think I'm probably projecting my overall disappointment with my real life relationships or lack thereof.

No prob MattG. Tough times bring out the worst in people. We're here to listen if you have to rant.

[mielikki]

I like the internet.
I can't stand talking on the phone, and I have all the emotional depth of a plank.
I have less than madd skillz at body language and intonation - I guess it isn't much of a surprise that I have 2 kids in the Autistic spectrum - so I have better luck focusing this way.

Odd, I'm aware.

[bettyist]

	Originally Posted by mind_wander
	It is good way to study, on each person's thinking processors; but it is a medium, for you to feel at ease. Then confronting it in real life, more like practicing on your networking skills.

I fully agree. The internet should just be another medium of communicating, especially if it is dfficult to communicate with people face-to-face. But personally knowing someone and talking is a different experience that should not be excluded from the communication process all together.

[Amaranth]

Hmmm. Well, I met my boyfriend online. Every job I've had since I graduated from high school was found through an Internet search. And through those jobs I met a few like-minded people who I consider friends. So the Internet ain't so bad. Give it chance.

[SMKN LS1]

The internet isn't so bad, unless you're dealing with forums that have a ton of immature members. I find lurking to be a great way to stay out of meaningless arguments.

Anyhow, does anyone else find themselves correcting their own replies? I guess that's the perfectionist side emerging again.

Sorry, back on topic: what industry/career are working in? The rest of us may know of a few websites that cater to your needs.

[mind_wander]

	Originally Posted by bettyist
	I fully agree. The internet should just be another medium of communicating, especially if it is dfficult to communicate with people face-to-face. But personally knowing someone and talking is a different experience that should not be excluded from the communication process all together.

That's why we have the Quote me system, keep more suggestions going. But, I put that into consideration, just forgot about it.

mind_wander added, 1 Minutes and 34 Seconds later...

Originally Posted by SMKN LS1

The internet isn't so bad, unless you're dealing with forums that have a ton of immature members. I find lurking to be a great way to stay out of meaningless arguments. Anyhow, does anyone else find themselves correcting their own replies? I guess that's the perfectionist side emerging again. Sorry, back on topic: what industry/career are working in? The rest of us may know of a few websites that cater to your needs.

Yes, I do find myself correcting my own replies. Oh crap, I am a perfectionist. I thought it was a big lie on the MBTI. I'm in denial again. Thanx.