How do you know if your in love or in lust?

**mrindyjones** · 11-22-2008, 01:35 PM

Any thoughts? I myself am on a girl diet till the end of the year, and have been since late June. I myself fall in love often, but what seem like every time I fall on my ass. So as I 'm about let myself fall in love or just get the hots for some as of the 1st of the year, I wonder how do I tell the difference. Am I in love or in lust. I think both feel so very good, but when its all over and you see the person for who they are, well that just sucks. What do you all think?

hullolife · 11-22-2008, 01:39 PM

but when its all over and you see the person for who they are, well that just sucks.

When that doesn't suck... that's love. :D

**mrindyjones** · 11-22-2008, 01:45 PM

Maybe its that lust is much more fun then love. Lust you get to take someone that hot in your mind and build them up any way you want. And love means loving that person for who they are.

**jikin** · 11-22-2008, 01:49 PM

Love says "I'll do anything for this person".
Lust says "I'll do anything to have this person".
Love looks out for the other person's best.
Lust looks out for self's best.

**Marcus** · 11-22-2008, 02:03 PM

I don't really experience them separately.

**Kisai** · 11-23-2008, 12:53 PM

I don't experience them separately either... I love all of my lovers, even if its only for a couple of hours, I'm happy to have spent time with them.

**Nikita** · 11-23-2008, 04:38 PM

The person you love is one to whom you'd consider divulging your most closely guarded secrets.

**NephilimAzrael** · 11-23-2008, 05:09 PM

When you are altruistic outside of a general apathy, and would unconsciously take damage to ensure they were safe from harm (physically, mentally or emotionally), that to me is love.

**OneHertz** · 11-24-2008, 08:05 AM

	Originally Posted by Marcus To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I don't really experience them separately.

impossible

**Josephine1012** · 11-24-2008, 09:14 AM

	Originally Posted by OneHertz To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	impossible

I agree, while it may be possible to care deeply for someone without lusting after them (many of my friends), but when you are in love lust is a very pleasant part of the package.

I realize that some people can find another person just VERY physically attractive without any other accouterments, but I could never feel that way. Sure, I can appreciate that an attractive person is indeed attractive, but I have no strong feelings about it unless I actually experience something more than lust.

**thod** · 11-24-2008, 09:34 AM

If you still willing and still wish the best for them even if you cannot have them for yourself.

For example if you died and were quite happy to have her remarry your friend because that would give her a happy life, its love, if the idea makes you angry then its lust. Selflessness rather than selfishness.

**Josephine1012** · 11-24-2008, 09:42 AM

	Originally Posted by thod To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	For example if you died and were quite happy to have her remarry your friend because that would give her a happy life, its love, if the idea makes you angry then its lust. Selflessness rather than selfishness.

In that case do you think everyone is capable of love?

What you're describing I think relates to a person's personality. I think we all experience the sentiment very differently.

**mrindyjones** · 11-25-2008, 10:58 PM

	Originally Posted by Josephine1012 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	In that case do you think everyone is capable of love? What you're describing I think relates to a person's personality. I think we all experience the sentiment very differently.

Josephine is correct in my opinion! just because you're selfish for someone's love and attention doesn't necessarily mean you're in just lust. For example I am in love with Paris Hilton and in lust with her money, am I being selfish when I say I don't anyone to enjoy it either of them but me?

PS I personally think lust is a hell of a lot more fun than love. If you're lusting after somebody most likely you have added a fantasy of what they're like in your head. As long as one doesn't try to make that fantasy a reality you're cool. otherwise reality can be a real letdown, and a total tease!

Anyway that's just how I feel about it!

**Nikita** · 11-25-2008, 11:41 PM

I heard a line once, "The best thing about lust is that even once you've sated it you can never be too full." I think it's a great illustration of the difference. Lust is all passion, instinct, and raw energy. Love, on the other hand, is a trier of patience, a judge, jury, and executioner at times, and the most painfully blissful thing in the world. Lust comes from your gut and your loins, love is influenced by the heart but has all of the complications of the head.

**Marcus** · 11-26-2008, 12:02 AM

Love without lust is meaningless, lust without love is unworthy for me.

**Catch22** · 11-26-2008, 08:36 AM


	Love without lust is meaningless

I love lot's of people who I don't lust, such as family and friends.

It's not meaningless or if it is meaningless then so is love with lust and all other emotions.

**OneHertz** · 11-26-2008, 09:35 AM

	Originally Posted by Marcus To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Love without lust is meaningless, lust without love is unworthy for me.

So loving your parents is meaningless? You are a terrible human being lol.

**PortInStorm** · 11-26-2008, 09:48 AM

If they have a special knack for driving you crazy but you refuse to bash their head in, it's love.

**Autoptic** · 11-26-2008, 09:50 AM

	Originally Posted by PortInStorm To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	If they have a special knack for driving you crazy but you refuse to bash their head in, it's love.

Wow, I'm a humanitarian.
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**Santana28** · 11-26-2008, 11:06 AM

i wish i knew... i'm kind of in the same boat - i only "lust" after those whom i already "love" in some sort of way.

my summer has been... um... busy, to say the least. right now i'm involved with two fellows concurrently... and i can't wrap my mind around it. when i'm with one, i could care less about the other. as soon as he walks out the door... i'm thinking about the other one. i want them both... i'm having them both... and there really seems to be no issues here which would cause any sort of problem - YET. however i know at one point they will want me to choose, and frankly... that is going to be impossible if i base it on anything having to do with my emotions, because it really is equal between the two. I guess it helps that they are both very similar-minded ENTJs.... the fact that we all 3 know about each other, and none of us claims to want anything with stated "terms" makes this much more difficult. ::sigh::

**Sean O** · 11-26-2008, 12:04 PM

Simple: if you aren't sure, it's lust.

**mrindyjones** · 11-26-2008, 07:19 PM

	Originally Posted by Sean O To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Simple: if you aren't sure, it's lust.

What? Nothing in life is that simple.

mrindyjones added to this post, 2 minutes and 9 seconds later...

	Originally Posted by Josephine1012 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	In that case do you think everyone is capable of love? What you're describing I think relates to a person's personality. I think we all experience the sentiment very differently.

Josephine I'm not sure that personality has anything to do with lust. Its all about look and feel. Who you find hot and not.

**Nikita** · 11-27-2008, 12:23 AM

	Originally Posted by PortInStorm To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	If they have a special knack for driving you crazy but you refuse to bash their head in, it's love.

wow I know some people who must love the he** out of me...a guy once said to me, "I don't know whether I want to hug you, or to shake you until you break."

I do think that, as to romantic partners, love and lust should be intertwined, but love exists beyond that boundary, and outside of that boundary lusting after loved ones is sometimes illegal.

**pure potential** · 11-27-2008, 12:41 AM

ha, Nikita I've been told that by wary ones before. People have a hard time discerning how to feel sometimes when there is a developed Thinker in the house. As INTJf can relate too, it can be a bit overwhelming for others that are not so concerned with knowledge and figuring things out. I'd choose to love ya.
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pure potential added to this post, 10 minutes and 38 seconds later...

	Originally Posted by jikin To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Love says "I'll do anything for this person". Lust says "I'll do anything to have this person". Love looks out for the other person's best. Lust looks out for self's best.

Beautiful work with words there! Lust is looking out for your own wants based off of a sexual relationship, its about fulfilling your sexual desires. However lust when reciprocated back on the same level can be rewarding for both. Its good you are checking it out, discerning it and being honest about it is the most important part so every ones clear about the intentions. People usually aren't too interested in the most personal concerns of another when they are focused on ripping their clothes off (which can still be an element in love). Love in intimate relationships is focused on the partner on every level and is a true success when achieved. Granted lust can be a win-win too if its mutual.. and we all have needs ya know.
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Love as natural as it is, I do believe is developed in long-term intimate relationships. Love at first sight is a nice idea, but long lasting connection takes time and effort. To think you love someone without spending time with them and getting to know them on all their personal levels is a bit ignorant. If you feel a connection, go for it. I'm sure after spending enough time with person will lead you to your own answers.

**Sean O** · 11-27-2008, 08:36 AM

	Originally Posted by mrindyjones
	What? Nothing in life is that simple.

Maybe it's different for others, but I personally find the distinction between love and lust extremely simple. Real love is powerful enough that it can't really be mistaken for anything else. That's my experience, at least.

11-22-2008, 01:35 PM	#1
mrindyjones New Member [01%] MBTI: ENFP Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 39	Any thoughts? I myself am on a girl diet till the end of the year, and have been since late June. I myself fall in love often, but what seem like every time I fall on my ass. So as I 'm about let myself fall in love or just get the hots for some as of the 1st of the year, I wonder how do I tell the difference. Am I in love or in lust. I think both feel so very good, but when its all over and you see the person for who they are, well that just sucks. What do you all think?
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11-22-2008, 01:39 PM	#2
hullolife Member [16%] MBTI: iNTP Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 656	but when its all over and you see the person for who they are, well that just sucks. When that doesn't suck... that's love. :D
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11-22-2008, 01:45 PM	#3
mrindyjones New Member [01%] MBTI: ENFP Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 39	Maybe its that lust is much more fun then love. Lust you get to take someone that hot in your mind and build them up any way you want. And love means loving that person for who they are.
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11-22-2008, 01:49 PM	#4
jikin Member [26%] MBTI: ENFJ Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,079	Love says "I'll do anything for this person". Lust says "I'll do anything to have this person". Love looks out for the other person's best. Lust looks out for self's best.
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11-22-2008, 02:03 PM	#5
Marcus Member [25%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1,027	I don't really experience them separately.
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11-23-2008, 12:53 PM	#6
Kisai Core Member [356%] MBTI: XXXX Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 14,263	I don't experience them separately either... I love all of my lovers, even if its only for a couple of hours, I'm happy to have spent time with them.
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11-23-2008, 04:38 PM	#7
Nikita Core Member [555%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 22,213	The person you love is one to whom you'd consider divulging your most closely guarded secrets.
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11-23-2008, 05:09 PM	#8
NephilimAzrael Member [22%] MBTI: XXXX Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 908	When you are altruistic outside of a general apathy, and would unconsciously take damage to ensure they were safe from harm (physically, mentally or emotionally), that to me is love.
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11-24-2008, 09:34 AM	#11
thod Core Member [165%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 6,630	If you still willing and still wish the best for them even if you cannot have them for yourself. For example if you died and were quite happy to have her remarry your friend because that would give her a happy life, its love, if the idea makes you angry then its lust. Selflessness rather than selfishness.
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11-25-2008, 11:41 PM	#14
Nikita Core Member [555%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 22,213	I heard a line once, "The best thing about lust is that even once you've sated it you can never be too full." I think it's a great illustration of the difference. Lust is all passion, instinct, and raw energy. Love, on the other hand, is a trier of patience, a judge, jury, and executioner at times, and the most painfully blissful thing in the world. Lust comes from your gut and your loins, love is influenced by the heart but has all of the complications of the head.
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11-26-2008, 12:02 AM	#15
Marcus Member [25%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1,027	Love without lust is meaningless, lust without love is unworthy for me.
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11-26-2008, 09:48 AM	#18
PortInStorm Veteran Member [74%] MBTI: INfJ Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 2,963	If they have a special knack for driving you crazy but you refuse to bash their head in, it's love.
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11-26-2008, 11:06 AM	#20
Santana28 Member [31%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 1,247	i wish i knew... i'm kind of in the same boat - i only "lust" after those whom i already "love" in some sort of way. my summer has been... um... busy, to say the least. right now i'm involved with two fellows concurrently... and i can't wrap my mind around it. when i'm with one, i could care less about the other. as soon as he walks out the door... i'm thinking about the other one. i want them both... i'm having them both... and there really seems to be no issues here which would cause any sort of problem - YET. however i know at one point they will want me to choose, and frankly... that is going to be impossible if i base it on anything having to do with my emotions, because it really is equal between the two. I guess it helps that they are both very similar-minded ENTJs.... the fact that we all 3 know about each other, and none of us claims to want anything with stated "terms" makes this much more difficult. ::sigh::
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11-26-2008, 12:04 PM	#21
Sean O Member [20%] MBTI: ENFJ Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 830	Simple: if you aren't sure, it's lust.
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