[dandylion]

This question was inspired by a disagreement my friend and I had a while back. She was watching some show on Nickelodeon (yes... she still likes watching that even though we're in college now), and I happened to look up from what I was doing on my laptop and saw a music video in which a boy and a girl, who both appeared to be about 11-12, were kissing. I said, "Eww, aren't they a little too young to be kissing, even if it is staged?" and my friend said, "Aww, I think it's cute." I responded with something along the lines of, "Well, I don't. It seems like they're trying to grow up too fast... It's kind of disturbing." My friend said, "You need a little love in your life." (She has a boyfriend and I don't.) "I don't see how that's going to change my opinion."

Anyway, what is the general consensus on this topic? You know what my opinion is. Do you agree or disagree? Are you weirded out by kids barely (or not even) hitting puberty and having love lives? If you had a son or daughter, when would you allow them to begin dating? Discuss!

[PRBori]

Those kids are still in diapers..... I mean if I found my daughter kissing a boy at 12 I would beat the hell out of her and the boy better run away too....

Anyway, that said, I think 16+ is OK, they are a bit more grounded, although in reality that's probably a dream since here in the US you find 10 years old having sex already...

Anyway, that's another story, but my reaction would be similar to yours... and don't worry, you don't need love in your life to differentiate between right and wrong, you need a brain.

This is a view from a mothers perspective of course and past life experiences... as we say we want for our kids the best and do not wish for them to go through what we went through in our life to some extend that is... for there are situation where is best to let them go through so they get the point across

Let me put it this way, the minute she has a job and is able to make her own money and be responsible, that's when I would say she is ready for dating... because if she got pregnant I will not be helping her full-time.. I mean she will learn how it feels to be a mother at such a young age...

So instead of partying, she'll be at home taking care of her kids and working and I'll be out partying...

[Antares]

Looking back on my younger peers (middle school students), they seem cute and naive. Yes. I do think it's 'too early' for them, but wasn't that what my mom told me when I was their age and crushing after a boy? I'd say as soon as they know what romance is. I'm not about to go setting limits, especially when I know what it's like to feel 'too young' for love. I'd let them think they're old enough. It's all relative, and I have no wishes to impose my views on anyone. I'm technically not allowed to start dating (I'm fifteen and she forbids me), but if my mother tries to stop me, she's not going to get a compliant daughter. I might be anti-authority or undergoing the 'rebellious phase' that most teenagers go through, but I do feel it's not her place to tell me what to do in this department.

[Kotetsu]

Whatever age at which it is released relationships at that age are very likely to be short term?
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Anyway, I think I've been using the thought that I was too young to consider relationships to post rationalise my inadequacy for quite some time. I'm 17 and am pursuing a girl somewhat half-heartedly, well aware that if it comes to nothing it'll likely be a long time before I ever have one.

I guess it is different for each person though. I have no idea at what specific age it became acceptable for my peers to have relationships, although I do know a couple of girls were pregnant at 13/14 and most of them had had short relationships by 16.

[hullolife]

I think I have a higher emotional IQ... you know having empathy and just social sense of situations?.... But I don't think the average teenager can really be in a relationship.

I'll say 16+ but most of the 16 year olds that tended to be dating in high school were the trashy ones. MOST... some were of good education standards, but on the whole ... no.

[Vagrant]

It reeeeeally depends on their maturity -- some guys I wouldn't trust to have a relationship even into their 20s. Others I see a maturity as early as 13. However, probability dictates they're more likely to be mature with age, so usually at least 16+ as has been said.

[SeaCzar]

I know a couple who married when they were 23. At that point, they had been together for more than 10 years. They are still happily married (at this point, they are in their later 40's). I consider this exceptional. Regardless, I would say it depends on the individuals.

[Jgib5328]

It's all dependent on their maturity I think 14 year olds could have a pretty good relationship and maybe in some very rare cases 12 year olds could too.

[Tocsin]

Even among toddlers, displays of affection between the sexes is not uncommon, or unnatural. If by "too young to have a relationship," you really mean "too young to start screwing around with each other," then that is another matter... though I think it is fairly unlikely that you are ever going to see them "doing it," and especially not on t.v.

[Kisai]

Keep in mind than even though people might really be "too young to be in a relationship" that doesn't mean they're too young to fantasize about being in a relationship. Nobody watches "Spy Kids" and thinks that its a great idea for actual children to become espionage agents.

[Sleeper88]

I think we should clearly differentiate between "being in a relationship" and "having sex". At that age, I don't think that sex is implied, since both "kids" most likely have never had sex at that point. And I also think it's perfectly normal to start developing crushes at that age. On the other hand, I don't think that any teenager is able to lead a proper relationship. There is too much new stuff, too many unknowns.

[LordMaiestas]

When you know the difference between a relationship and a crush.
That love is something different from just looking at the girl and thought she hot.

When you find that you can just spend being with her the whole time.

[Santana28]

I don't know... but when i was in school and had my first opportunity at a "real" relationship around the age of 16, i came to the conclusion that i was too young for it because i needed to concentrate on my school work. Of course, hormones got the better of me around 17....

I would say... if it interferes with your school work... which first relationships in school are prone to do.... wait til after graduation. Seriously. I sound like a prude, but these are the standards i (attempted to) hold for myself. LOL

My father even asked me at 16 why i was never interested in boys or dating - thats exactly the reason i gave him "i've got more important things to focus my attention on dad."

I repeat - i was the perfect kid. LOL

[Wordsmith]

I think it does vary with age but I also think that these kids, for the most part, don't know what they're getting into. I know it sounds arrogant especially since it wasn't that long ago I was a teenager but I think it's true. They don't understand what love is but they do know that society tells them that they are worthless without a significant other. Add some raging hormones to the mix. Lightly stir in emotional emotional problems that they think this will magically solve and viola: Grade A Clusterf***

I think that some people are definitely capable of real love as a teenager, but I think they are few and far between. If you are someone who is capable of real love, I'd advise holding off at least till Junior year. Even if you are ready, the person you are interested might not be and trust me that sucks.

[Indubitably]

I think the boundary is very fuzzy, but you do have a couple situations where you can clearly say someone is well on one side or the other. I'd say at 8 years old or something you'd be clear on the side of too young, but by 12 you'd be clear on the side of healthy exploration. Don't forget that regardless of what society thinks should be an acceptable age for romance, biology thinks you are an adult the moment you go through puberty and develop the ability to procreate. You can only really live in denial of that reality for just so long before it catches up with you in a not so healthy way.

Two kids in the their early teens making out is a perfectly healthy thing. Trying to force your religious or cultural values on them at that age is probably going to do a whole lot more harm than good. Especially if those values essentially teach them to use self hatred as means of coping with one of their primary biological imperatives.

[OneHertz]

My parents met at age 13, had me at age 19, married at age 20. Now they are in their 40s and doing just perfectly. So 12-13 is fine with me...

[SeaCzar]

	Originally Posted by OneHertz To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	My parents met at age 13, had me at age 19, married at age 20. Now they are in their 40s and doing just perfectly. So 12-13 is fine with me...

This is remarkable. Congrats' to you parents.

[Queen Mum]

I do think our society has an absurd distance between the age when physical maturity occurs and the age when social maturity occurs (i.e. a person is expected to be capable of dealing with sex and all its consequences, including raising and providing for a family). Since we can't do much about biology, I think the problem is with the way we raise and educate children, permitting them to be immature and enjoy pleasure without the accompanying responsibility for far too long. (Not to mention stretching out our education to take decades without covering any more material.)

If you're ready to raise your own children, should any occur unexpectedly, then you're old enough to have a relationship. Until then, watch from the sidelines and grow up as fast as you can.

[Wordsmith]

	Originally Posted by Queen Mum To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I think the problem is with the way we raise and educate children, permitting them to be immature and enjoy pleasure without the accompanying responsibility for far too long.

Here here. You want the privileges of an adult, act like one and recognize that actions have consequences for you and those around you.

[ElstonGunn]

I still think 32 is too young to be in a relationship. Think about it.

[TheLastMohican]

	Originally Posted by ElstonGunn To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I still think 32 is too young to be in a relationship. Think about it.

*does not compute*

[ElstonGunn]

	Originally Posted by TheLastMohican To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	*does not compute*

That was my point.

[TheLastMohican]

	Originally Posted by ElstonGunn To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	That was my point.

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[NephilimAzrael]

I will have to quote Chef from South Park on this:

17.
(when questioned if it was too young, he responded...)
17
(When asked if there was an exemption for particularly mature individuals, he responded...)
Just 17

[Antares]

	Originally Posted by Jgib5328 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It's all dependent on their maturity I think 14 year olds could have a pretty good relationship and maybe in some very rare cases 12 year olds could too.

A couple started dating when they were eleven and twelve, and they're still together (and yes, they still harbor strong feelings for each other). That's longer than a lot of adult relationships I know.