View Poll Results: Which types do you think are most compatible with INTJs?
INTJ 39 44.32%
INTP 28 31.82%
ENTJ 31 35.23%
ENTP 21 23.86%
INFJ 26 29.55%
INFP 17 19.32%
ENFJ 9 10.23%
ENFP 24 27.27%
ISTJ 6 6.82%
ISFJ 4 4.55%
ESTJ 2 2.27%
ESFJ 6 6.82%
ISTP 7 7.95%
ISFP 5 5.68%
ESTP 3 3.41%
ESFP 4 4.55%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 88. You may not vote on this poll

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What types are compatible with INTJs? None
Old 10-11-2007, 04:40 AM   #1
Jezebel
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Which MBTI types do you think are the most and least compatible with INTJs? What types have you been in relationships with, and how did it turn out?


Because it was mentioned a few times in
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and deserved its own topic. And a poll, because I figure one will show up eventually anyway.
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Old 10-11-2007, 06:40 AM   #2
Opti
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By the success of this forum it has to be with other INTJ's..

I haven't tryed to 'type' anyone as yet, Anyone fancy doing a master class on it?
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Old 10-11-2007, 09:42 AM   #3
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Be aware that each of these has exceptions, meaning even if they are the type (and not mis-typed, which is common in at least three of these), there are probably more reasons it wouldn't work than reasons it would.

In order of most likely to succeed:
1) INTJ, if similar life experiences, different rigid areas, and/or other high degrees of similarity. If not, possibly the most incompatible.
(It was hard to select which was #2, or even which should go first of the following two.)
2.1) INFJ, which may be controversial, but I know that at least in my experience we do great together. It's critical to find one that is on the same wavelength and believes the best of everything coming from you most of the time. If not, it can degrade rapidly with their conspiracy theorizing. Warning: May become dependent.
2.2) INTP, but chances are that any particular INTP you meet is not actually an INTP because most are mis-typed. They are prime sources of high-grade ideas, good game partners, low-maintenance, and excellent for intellectual discussions. They tend to be far messier than I like. They will not intrude on your personal time, but then you might forget they're around too, because they're just that independent and quiet.
3) INFP, except they're often spacey and don't really contribute to intellectual discussions. Second only to the INFJ for taking care of your needs while still being intelligent, since they like serving but they're easier to communicate with than ISFJs. Warning: Will become dependent.
4) ENFP, because they're the most introverted of the extroverts (they often look like an introvert for a good percentage of time) and they are independent like us. We don't have dependence issues with them, though you need to be able to completely trust that particular one, and if you doubt they are trustworthy, don't continue.
5) ISFJ, because they're like INFPs, only absolutely loyal to a fault and cleaner. You will never have an intellectual discussion with one (unless they happen to be really bright, which is rare; even if they are, they believe they're nowhere near as bright as they are) and their misuse of words will constantly grate on you, but they take care of your needs (keep your house straightened/environment clean, tend to make good food, feed you regularly, etc) and are the least demanding for doing so. Warning: Always dependent.
6) ISTJ, which are really cold and annoying, but not totally offensive. You'll never have an intellectual discussion with one (if you believe you have, you were somehow duped - they are like talking to a living, breathing, textbook), but they won't misuse words. They'll keep your environment clean, but hold it over you, even if they don't tell you that. They don't tend to make good food, but they can be frugal and if you get them when they're young and malleable, they are ripe for training into whatever you need/want. They're most useful in work environments and probably the least endurable for relationships while not being totally incompatible.

Additional mention:
- ESFP - Fun, momentarily.
- ESTJ, ESFJ, ENTJ, ENFJ - Avoid at all costs, will try to control you and run your life. Will force you to participate in social activities you don't want to do. They have no respect for introvert recharge time.
- ESTP - Conniving creeps and whores, will cheat on and exploit you for whatever you're worth.
- ENTP - Will cheat on you and act like it's nothing. Tends to exploit, but not as bad as the ESTP.
- ISTP - Most common fake INTP. Can be identified by the fact they participate in sports consistently (daily run, daily gym time...just look for regularity in sports - INTPs seldom participate and never on a fixed schedule), mechanically-inclined, and marginally-cleaner.
- ISFP - Expensive and lack any discernible redeeming qualities.
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Old 10-11-2007, 11:08 AM   #4
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The only boyfriend I've had that I knew well enough to type was probably an ISTJ. *He was a really sweet guy, if a bit dull (I don't think I ever had a conversation with him that wasn't about work or home life). *I think he might have made a better roommate than a partner, though.

As someone said earlier, ENFJ will try to control you. *Case in point, my closest ENFJ friend basically ran her boyfriend off by calling him obsessively when he wasn't able to come over as they'd planned. *On one hand I feel bad for her not being able to keep a relationship, but on the other hand, *I want to warn all the guys she's after to run for the hills.
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Old 10-11-2007, 11:49 AM   #5
Rei
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INTJ&INTPs = magical :
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ESTJs = generally intriguing. Different, but the same. Casual but constructive conversation.
ENTJ&ENFPs = Great friends... random chats that are nicely facilitated by their E
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But when it comes down to it, the interest doesn't last long
INFPs = they're fun, starking difference, but in a laid back way... good girl talk... get in touch with my F
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ESFJs = I've known a few... I get less and less patient with them the older I get. I've cut one out because she was really annoying me. Other ones I've learned to just stay away from. Unfortunately, my sister is an ESFJ... and I'll have to cope with her for the rest of either of our existences *sigh*

Haven't really had anyone close that were any of the other types. I can have fun with them... as long as I suppress my J.
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Old 10-11-2007, 06:39 PM   #6
Firelie
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Oh! I meant to add this to my earlier post... My mom tries to tell me "opposites attract" (to which I have to reply "Not always"), but I highly doubt that works well for INTJs.

I have an ESFP coworker and she's very friendly, very funny, and she's a blast to talk with, but oh dear god she annoys the crap out of me at all other times. She's one of those people who is wholly in the present--in other words, she has no ability to think ahead. She also rarely thinks for herself, doesn't think about other people's needs, and hardly pays attention to what she's doing (which is awful since she's the one that does all of the filing that is frequently used by everyone in the office).
I can't imagine having a relationship with someone like that...especially when I can only take small doses of someone I *don't* have a relationship with.
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Old 10-12-2007, 02:30 AM   #7
MichaelH
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I have a strong love/hate relationship with my ESFP spouse. When I get enough alone time, we get along great. When I'm not getting it, things go sour quickly.

I can totally relate to the ESFP co-worker living in the present. The spouse HATES planning. At least he's smart enough to realize he has to do it sometimes, but whenever I try to talk about "five years in the future" he flips out and the discussion is over.

Fortunately, five years IS a fair ways away...
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Old 10-12-2007, 04:40 AM   #8
anul
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ENTP- I get along with ENTP's quite well, maybe even better than most personality types.

ENTJ- They scare and amuse me greatly. When I act extroverted I love being a stereotypical ENTJ asshole, and nothing really brings me that kind of joy.

ENFP- Easy to control and see their true motives. I get along with them fine and when I was younger I had several ENFP friends. They tend to be compatible with NT's but they just like to pretend that they're NT's, which isn't a bad thing. They just have a high rate of drama surrounding them which can be amusing. Plus they want my approval, but I'll never give it to them MWAHAHAHAHAH.
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Old 10-12-2007, 03:59 PM   #9
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I am married to an ISFJ and it tends to work pretty well for us (17 years and going strong).

She has a lot more empathy than I do (of course) and actually makes me leave the house.

Looking back, I dated a few E's and a few I's. The E's would tend to annoy me after a while because they were too loud and I had trouble thinking. :D

Even as a married person, the people I tend to think of as "attractive" tend to be I's who kind of sit back. Not sure I've ever met an INTJ female or if that would be a good type of match or not.

My daughter is an INTP and my son is an ESFP. It's taken me most of his eight years to figure out the best way to communicate with him. Of course, as an INTJ, I keep working on systems to relate to him the best way I can.
[reason]thread split from INTJ males and females[/reason]
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Old 10-13-2007, 03:46 PM   #10
Jeroen Jan-Willem
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My wife is an ENFP. I generally like NFs, but clash easily with NFJs. I have liked quite a few INFPs but I am not convinced that the combination is great. I think there are easily difficulties between introverts with rather different types of viewpoints. I had tried a relationship with an ESFP in the past, but that wasn't a success (largely communication difficulties).
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Old 10-15-2007, 08:59 AM   #11
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As being an Asian guy INTJ, its hard to get into true relationships; rather become more or less friends.

Here is a good questions for INTJ's:
Which personality would you prefer on relationships?[INTJ/INTJ]

INTJ/INTJ as partners can be both positive and negative. Arguements can arise, if someone who wants to prove the other one wrong, hey that's why we INTJ's exists. We hate that, but if its logical then arguements can further reduced without being emotional/pshychological about it. The positive side, wow he/she actually know what I am talking about. Is that person a physic? I say the word, the other finishes it.

But it says that INTJ's are more compatible with ENFP/ENTP[great conversations]/INFJ's, etc. Can some one prove me wrong?, I've promise your comments will be treated with respect.
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Old 10-15-2007, 11:22 AM   #12
Rei
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  Originally Posted by mind_wander
As being an Asian guy INTJ, its hard to get into true relationships; rather become more or less friends.

Here is a good questions for INTJ's:
Which personality would you prefer on relationships?[INTJ/INTJ]

INTJ/INTJ as partners can be both positive and negative. Arguements can arise, if someone who wants to prove the other one wrong, hey that's why we INTJ's exists. We hate that, but if its logical then arguements can further reduced without being emotional/pshychological about it. The positive side, wow he/she actually know what I am talking about. Is that person a physic? I say the word, the other finishes it.

But it says that INTJ's are more compatible with ENFP/ENTP[great conversations]/INFJ's, etc. Can some one prove me wrong?, I've promise your comments will be treated with respect.

Hey, being an INTJ GIRL and Asian makes it even harder to get into a relationship. (I swear, Asians are one of the most sexist people in the world). I guess I make it really hard for people to approach me, but that's for another thread. (
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)

Finishing sentences... It just works out that way when your brains are on the same wavelength. You'll see a lot of that in this forum... But you'll also see a lot of severe disagreement.

Preferance? ETJ's ... But I can't be sure as I haven't been in a relationship with one.

Compatibility? I think there's another thread for that topic too. (
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) But I guess it's not as specific as you want it to be.

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Old 10-15-2007, 11:51 AM   #13
mind_wander
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There is no definite answer, but there are 16 possible personality types. Yeah, being Asian dude is hard, the social norms is conflicting for me; as you said the wavelength is different. I tend to get along with other nationalities, even Asians.

Since you said your Asian female, not sure what's your language. But mine is Chinese mandarin.
Ni hao, hen ke yi jian dao yi ge nu de INTJ, xing ge?
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Old 10-15-2007, 12:51 PM   #14
Rei
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  Originally Posted by mind_wander
There is no definite answer, but there are 16 possible personality types. Yeah, being Asian dude is hard, the social norms is conflicting for me; as you said the wavelength is different. I tend to get along with other nationalities, even Asians.

Social norm. I'm finding it less a problem of ethinc group than it is personality type. I have a lot more in common, even in terms of values among INTJs than among many Asian people I know.

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Old 10-15-2007, 02:51 PM   #15
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I am not saying, I fully have problems with ethnicities goes; like Asians. Not alot of Asians in my classes and around my areas. So maybe this is where I am lacking the Asian diversity. Majority of the times in school; I am the only Asian in class; lonely, huh. On top of that, my way of thinking is very different than the others around me. I only used these skills when there is a given assignment. Overall, I have no problem interacting with other Asians, if its meet face to face.
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Old 10-18-2007, 02:33 AM   #16
Tarrick
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It's really more about the strength of the type I think.

Strong Es annoy the crap out of me, but a weak E can make things interesting without making me see red.
As for S types...they generally just don't get what I'm saying. So they're out, unless they have a weak S and have some N abilities.
F types....keep it low level and well be okay.
And P people...they are tolerable so long as they allow themselves to be wrangled when the time comes.
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Old 10-18-2007, 03:53 AM   #17
StJimmy
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right on tarrick.

as i've said before i married an ENFJ. she's not very E, very N and F. moderate J. the very F part, well suffice to say it takes work. she understands how i function; i don't have to be as insistent about things as much anymore when i "know" something, but i just suspect that is because she has come to relish the "i told you so!" opportunities.

anyway we are an awesome team; i wouldn't even say that i am the "dominant" personality, either. we are both deeply affected by our partnership. she is very easygoing and laid back, with a natural way of "handling" people. suffice to say we are very convincing in what i like to call "tag team persuasion."

the ultimate frontman. utterly loyal. i shall stop lest i burst into tears.
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Old 11-21-2007, 12:01 PM   #18
gebstone
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just wanna know, but as an INTJ which types suits us the most when dating?
is it another INTJ or some E/S type?
comments and thoughts much appreciated.
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Old 11-21-2007, 12:37 PM   #19
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I have limited experience in this area, but I think that MBTI types do not provide more than a rough baseline for judging attraction. I have heard in many places that male INTJs will seek out a more "E" person, whereas female INTJs will try to find another INTJ. But you should never rule out anyone just because of their MBTI type when looking for a relationship.
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Old 11-21-2007, 01:58 PM   #20
logan235711
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supposedly ENFPs by MBTI standard : )

Here's a quote from David Keirsey--however most NFs feel like his description of NFs isn't accurate, so use at your own discretion


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Old 11-21-2007, 04:38 PM   #21
Gaius Baltar
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Yeah, I'd be careful with that article just posted. In my experiences, Idealists are bad news. You'll get along with them great... at first. Before six months is out, however, they'll explode in the most fiery way imaginable leaving you completely clueless as to what exactly went wrong.

The only exception to this is the ENFPs. I love ENFPs for some strange and inexplicable reason. They love INTJs too, and I'm sure they're just as baffled by it.
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Old 11-21-2007, 09:17 PM   #22
Paul V
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I want an introverted idealist (don't care for what. I'll settle for friendship). INFX intrigue me very much. I want someone with whom I can sustain an intelligent conversation, but whose focus is different than mine (I want them to be N, so we're speaking in the same language, but F so I can see the other side as well). My preference for Introversion is a purely practical thing. If I hear someone telling me I need to be more sociable, I'll scream. J and P don't matter, but if they're J, then all the best. More stuff in common.
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Old 11-21-2007, 11:29 PM   #23
INTJgal
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  Originally Posted by Firelie
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Oh! I meant to add this to my earlier post... My mom tries to tell me "opposites attract" (to which I have to reply "Not always"), but I highly doubt that works well for INTJs.

I have an ESFP coworker and she's very friendly, very funny, and she's a blast to talk with, but oh dear god she annoys the crap out of me at all other times. She's one of those people who is wholly in the present--in other words, she has no ability to think ahead. She also rarely thinks for herself, doesn't think about other people's needs, and hardly pays attention to what she's doing (which is awful since she's the one that does all of the filing that is frequently used by everyone in the office).
I can't imagine having a relationship with someone like that...especially when I can only take small doses of someone I *don't* have a relationship with.

the data clearly show that "like attracts like" actually. or so i read somewhere trustworthy that i can't remember.

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Old 11-21-2007, 11:32 PM   #24
INTJgal
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  Originally Posted by Gaius Baltar
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Yeah, I'd be careful with that article just posted. In my experiences, Idealists are bad news. You'll get along with them great... at first. Before six months is out, however, they'll explode in the most fiery way imaginable leaving you completely clueless as to what exactly went wrong.

The only exception to this is the ENFPs. I love ENFPs for some strange and inexplicable reason. They love INTJs too, and I'm sure they're just as baffled by it.

I
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idealists. Just find the Healthy Versions and develop some Fi, dammit!
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ENFPs are my favorite friends. I think their P-ness would drive me insane though, as I'm a weak J. J enough to know i desire structure to not get stressed and so I can do my best, but not J enough to provide this for myself.
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Old 11-22-2007, 02:35 AM   #25
Meyer
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In my experience rationals that desire a long term relationship do well with idealists. INFJs are great if your ready to commit. If your not, look out. I have no experience with enfps or js but I hope to one day.
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