[Global]

	Originally Posted by topquark To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I consider something growing like a balloon in my stomach before forcing its way out of my vagina to be harming me, and I would want to punish anything that did that.

I am an INTJ mother (of 2) and it was exactly the opposite for me. There is something exceptional about the multiplication of cells to form a life and the feeling of that life inside of you. You have full control over everything it eats, breathes, and hears and it is the most spectacular form of creation we can achieve at this time. Pregnancy, the act of creating a life, in and of itself is a very powerful and beautiful experience.

[LadySpock]

Originally Posted by Global To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I am an INTJ mother (of 2) and it was exactly the opposite for me. There is something exceptional about the multiplication of cells to form a life and the feeling of that life inside of you. You have full control over everything it eats, breathes, and hears and it is the most spectacular form of creation we can achieve at this time. Pregnancy, the act of creating a life, in and of itself is a very powerful and beautiful experience.

It is the closest to TRUE power that any human can achieve.

It would be awesome to create an army of humans.

---------- Post added 08-24-2012 at 04:47 AM ----------

Originally Posted by Zsych To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

The lack of natural preference or being able to dedicate yourself to it, would probably one of those somewhat disqualifying factors... especially nowadays with society teaching women to not focus on being mothers so that they grow up differently, and with INTJ typically not using those more nurturing emotions in daily life. But I think that as long as the mother expresses her feelings of love for the kid, and does a bit of research... she might be better than a woman running on instinct.

WRONG. And INTJ bullshit. Valuing research over instinct or logic over emotion. Both are required in life.

[topquark]

Originally Posted by Global To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I am an INTJ mother (of 2) and it was exactly the opposite for me. There is something exceptional about the multiplication of cells to form a life and the feeling of that life inside of you. You have full control over everything it eats, breathes, and hears and it is the most spectacular form of creation we can achieve at this time. Pregnancy, the act of creating a life, in and of itself is a very powerful and beautiful experience.

I don't doubt that it's a powerful experience. Like most powerful experiences, I expect that if you want it, it's powerfully wonderful, and if you don't, it's horrific.

[Global]

	Originally Posted by topquark To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I don't doubt that it's a powerful experience. Like most powerful experiences, I expect that if you want it, it's powerfully wonderful, and if you don't, it's horrific.

Obviously you are correct. I don't see many people being forced to be pregnant as laws in most developed countries, fortunately, are pro-choice. But that is another topic altogether.

As this thread is about INTJ women being good mothers, I take the position in the context that the women want to have the child and have consciously chosen to become pregnant as a means to achieve that end. As noted, adoption is also a way to become a mother without personally experiencing pregnancy if one so chooses.

[irini]

I am a mother of two children that I have been working from an early age (before I get married and have children). Getting married and having children had made my life more difficult-as I had to be a working mother. I had to work harder (at work and at home), I had to learn faster how to deal with everyday life and I had to become more effective in general. At the same time, I had to deal with the question of everyone around me whether I could manage to go on working and being a good mother at the same time or not...
That was a hard time, but I have managed to learn to deal with motherhood and my working life and balance them somehow. Now, I can say that I feel stronger in general and I do not regret that I haven't give up trying to combine everything...In fact I would say that women who can combine motherhood and the ability to establish themselves to whatever they choose along with motherhood are really more commendable than any men, in urban society.

[Zsych]

	Originally Posted by LadySpock To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	WRONG. And INTJ bullshit. Valuing research over instinct or logic over emotion. Both are required in life.

That implies you understand what emotion is and what it is suited for. In reality, results derive from the actions taken, and actions born of emotions typically lack depth or foresight, and cannot be used to create a great outcome.

Choices guided by animal principles achieve results on the level of animals.

[gypsy stardust]

Originally Posted by Global To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Obviously you are correct. I don't see many people being forced to be pregnant as laws in most developed countries, fortunately, are pro-choice. But that is another topic altogether. As this thread is about INTJ women being good mothers, I take the position in the context that the women want to have the child and have consciously chosen to become pregnant as a means to achieve that end. As noted, adoption is also a way to become a mother without personally experiencing pregnancy if one so chooses.

I'll give you the want to have the child part, but consciously chosen to become pregnant might be more of an issue.

I didn't plan on ever having children, but life is what happens while you're busy making other plans. I think I have done a great job as a mother. I'm certainly wildly proud of my 19 year old daughter who is both a well-adjusted upstanding citizen and on her way to being self-sufficient.

All in all, it turned out pretty good. Considering I didn't consciously choose to become pregnant.

[Global]

The consciously chosen wording was based on the fact that the thread was about someone contemplating motherhood. Therefore, if she becomes pregnant, it was likely a choice. I was avoiding the opportunity for the conversation to move into an abortion debate about being forced to carry a child.

Glad your daughter turned out well. Both my children are quite beautiful well-adjusted upstanding citizens as well. But that is not necessarily how I measure good parenting.

Parenting was a great challenge for me. It was more than difficult for me to guide another person through the various developmental stages within the mufti-faceted and contradictory world. The balance between keeping them safe, providing insight into the barrage of information coming at them from friends, family, school, community, media, etc. Providing affection, allowing them to become what they are, find their own evolving "truth," and create an environment where they can thrive while also taking care of the responsibilities and realities was not natural to me. It required a lot of effort and at times was very draining and taxing on both my time and energies. Some people are much better at the sacrifice part than I was.

[LadySpock]

	Originally Posted by Zsych To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	That implies you understand what emotion is and what it is suited for. In reality, results derive from the actions taken, and actions born of emotions typically lack depth or foresight, and cannot be used to create a great outcome.

Let's apply your statement...logically of course.

I will begin by listing a few common emotions
*Love
*Benevolence
*Lust
*Hate

Now, I will replace the word "emotions" with each of the emotions on the list to see if your assertion that actions born of emotions typically lack depth or foresight, and cannot be used to create a great outcome.holds true.


actions born of love typically lack depth or foresight, and cannot be used to create a great outcome.

actions born of benevolence typically lack depth or foresight, and cannot be used to create a great outcome.

actions born of lust typically lack depth or foresight, and cannot be used to create a great outcome.

actions born of hate typically lack depth or foresight, and cannot be used to create a great outcome.

It appears that your statement could be true or false.

FAIL.

It seems to me that YOU don't understand emotions or know what they are suited for.

But that's fairly typical in the INTJ population. (Sadly)

INTJs typically value logic over emotion; however, emotionally healthy & emotionally mature INTJs understand and accept that both have their place and both add their own unique value to the human experience.

In the realm of parenting, both logic and emotion definitely have their place
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[katatonic]

I have no desire to have a child. I don't think I'll ever be financially stable enough to support a child how they should be supported. It's not about me wanting to have a child to have one, it's about me wanting to have a child to give it everything that it deserves and the best life possible. So I would make a good mother if I felt I could be the best possible. But I don't think that will ever happen.

[Thinktress]

I love kids. And although I can think of a million things I would have done differently if I had it to do over, my son seems to think I did ok. At least, we haven't spent any long visits together at the shrink's yet.

[silentium]

INTJ mother of two children, ages five and three.

Can be distant when drowning in monotony, logical when an emotional connection would be better, critical when encouragement would be prudent, irritated when the little patience I have is tried.

However, with constant reflection, focus, and application of the strong core qualities that make up my personality, I believe I am raising two great children.

Both are classed as gifted, both read fluently by age 2, both play piano and violin, speak conversational French and Spanish, and acutely aware of their community (we are regularly involved in fundraisers, and local events).

They are eager to learn about any and everything, which I am willing to encourage, as I do not believe that age is prescriptive to a child’s development and understanding.

We can discuss anything from electronic configuration and the periodic table, Kandinsky’s compositions, the movements of the planets in the solar system, the universe, and its infiniteness, to discussions about why Wile E. Coyote never catches the Road Runner.

We go to the theatre, museums, classical recitals, and shows. Exposing them to as many of the activities, I have always enjoyed and want to continue to do so. Do not believe life ends when you have children.

They speak in complete coherent sentences; do not use slang. Have an innate sense of themselves, demonstrative, verbally expressive, and have a wonderful sense of humour (though son does favour satire).

They think freely, question convention (teacher observation on my son), and care deeply for each other, and have a strong sense of self-worth.

They are happy, confident, and loved.

Am I a good INTJ mother? At this moment in time, I believe so.

[kingfish]

Originally Posted by silentium To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Both are classed as gifted, both read fluently by age 2, both play piano and violin, speak conversational French and Spanish, and acutely aware of their community (we are regularly involved in fundraisers, and local events). They are eager to learn about any and everything, which I am willing to encourage, as I do not believe that age is prescriptive to a child’s development and understanding. We can discuss anything from electronic configuration and the periodic table, Kandinsky’s compositions, the movements of the planets in the solar system, the universe, and its infiniteness, to discussions about why Wile E. Coyote never catches the Road Runner. We go to the theatre, museums, classical recitals, and shows. Exposing them to as many of the activities, I have always enjoyed and want to continue to do so. Do not believe life ends when you have children. They speak in complete coherent sentences; do not use slang. Have an innate sense of themselves, demonstrative, verbally expressive, and have a wonderful sense of humour (though son does favour satire). They think freely, question convention (teacher observation on my son), and care deeply for each other, and have a strong sense of self-worth. They are happy, confident, and loved. Am I a good INTJ mother? At this moment in time, I believe so.

Wow! I thought I had been writing in my sleep and simply forgotten what ages my children are.

When they were very little friends and family laughed at my husband and I for the way we were with our kids. Taking them to theatrical productions and concerts and speaking to them normally. I remember a man I did not know giving me a dressing down in the street because he listened in on what I was telling my baby. She was in a sling and looking at the clouds so I was telling her all about them, what type they were and how the water cycle worked. No, I didn't expect that at four months of age that she would be answering any short quiz questions at the end but I did expect that she knew that I was engaged with her, and that language has a rhythm and that whatever it was I was saying was about the clouds because I knew she was watching them and I was pointing at them. But he felt it necessary to point out that she had no understanding of what I was saying and that I should speak to her like a baby.

Again when she was 1yo and my husband was building a computer and she was squatting down watching him intently and he was telling her all about the motherboard and the graphics card and letting her help with the screwdriver and my sister was laughing at him and told him that he was wasting his words because she didn't understand...."You don't know that and even if that is true she will NEVER know if someone doesn't tell her"

At 20mths she told her Kindergym teacher: "I'm using this in an unorthodox way" which was true (using the parallel bars) and just goes to show that kids DO understand complex language.

One of the marvellous things about children is getting to expose them to the world because EVERYTHING is exciting and interesting. For her third birthday we were surprising her withher first aeroplane journey but told her we were going to a cardboard box factory to see how cardboard boxes were made. Which she was very happy about. The plane that she found herself on was just a happy diversion in the way that the pilot kindly let us in to have a quick look at. When it started taxiing and we told her what we were really doing she was pleased but wanted to know if we could go to the cardboard box factory when we got back.

Everything has such potential.

[silentium]

With you on that kingfish – never baby talked – ever.

Also, do not believe that learning can only take place within the confines of a classroom, within four walls, five days a week 6-7 hours a day, perceptually chained to a desk, with the occasional romp in a playground. It is not for every child.

Children need to feel, touch, taste, and experience in order to learn about the world around them. There is nothing more beguiling, than an engaged child, and very fortunate, that the primary school researched, and attending is reflective of that philosophy.

Had an extremely painful childhood, which involved ridicule, insults, and ostracisation (for another thread). And will be damned if they will suffer for wanting to learn, or for being different. Therefore, motivation for their well-being is multifaceted.