[catzama]

Originally Posted by Acro21 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I was in a 3 year relationship as the INTJ male before and my experience says: Do what you will, but do NOT flake. If you want to see us or not, we'll accept it either way. Just do not commit then back out. My ex did that to me after we were on good terms again and I was pissed. Basically, if you don't think you can handle seeing us, that's fine we get it. If you think you can, awesome that's cool too. But please do not say yes to meeting up then ditching, or just not responding.

Well that's just a shitty thing to do to people in general.

[AnaK]

Originally Posted by gypsy stardust To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

You feeling ok? If I recall, you were the one predicting that he was going to crash and burn because he was so imbalanced and was studying too much and that is a known way to screw the pooch on a test. Interesting. Why, exactly, is it conceivable to you that 'dealing with him' might be detrimental to her career goals, yet he was a raging asshat because he couldn't 'deal with her' while his career and everything he worked for since before they even met was on the line? Ah yes... cognitive dissonance...

Sure. I did predict he would fail cause he seemed so stressed out. I am glad to be wrong. I.said then, and I will repeat (even though no.one seems to.get it) that predicting something is not the same as wanting it to.happen.

Also, he put the test, way, way before his GIRLFRIEND. He is not.her boyfriend now, so.why would she put him above an interview?

[LovelyDystopia]

	Originally Posted by AnaK To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Sure. I did predict he would fail cause he seemed so stressed out. I am glad to be wrong. I.said then, and I will repeat (even though no.one seems to.get it) that predicting something is not the same as wanting it to.happen. Also, he put the test, way, way before his GIRLFRIEND. He is not.her boyfriend now, so.why would she put him above an interview?

He put everything before me.

---------- Post added 11-07-2012 at 04:26 PM ----------

	Originally Posted by superflax To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Have you decided whether or not you're going to tell him? I'm not sure if you've mentioned it but what response are you hoping for? That he agree/ask to meet up with you? If that's the case i suggest you don't aim for that as you could be incredibly disappointed.

Well I had read your post very rapidly before going to class today.
And the conclusion that I came up with is letting him know that I'm in the city one day prior. And telling him when/where I can meet. If that's inconvenient for him then we won't meet at all.
I don't want him to have control over this situation (again), because everything was on his terms when we were dating.

--
Anyway that will only happen if I decide to tell him. The reason I posted is because I don't know if I should tell him or not... i'm indecisive about this situation.

---------- Post added 11-07-2012 at 04:27 PM ----------

	Originally Posted by Velocitii To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I just played out a scenario in my head where you don't tell him you're in NY, but somehow, someway, you two see each other in the street or a coffee shop or something, and awkwardness ensues. I live in NYC and I know it's a big place, but for some reason, the person you want to see the least somehow ends up in front of your face.

Yes this would be awkward actually.. and make me seem immature because I didn't tell him anything at all.
Hopefully he stays indoors the weekend I'm there.

[fyrye]

4 months is a long time...
What are you wanting to gain from meeting him?
What do you not want to lose by not meeting with him?

From what I gathered is that you miss him and want to see him. Then do so.
It doesn't matter how he used to be or act while you were together as you two are not a couple anymore.
You still miss him and want to see him..
Go out if time is permitting and enjoy the company. Catch up on each others lives. That's all.

[PurpleGiraffe]

	Originally Posted by LovelyDystopia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	He put everything before me.

Mmhmm. And hence why you are still talking about and micro-analyzing everything about him.

By that logic you either have the world's lowest self-esteem ever or the statement itself isn't entirely accurate.

[gypsy stardust]

	Originally Posted by PurpleGiraffe To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Mmhmm. And hence why you are still talking about and micro-analyzing everything about him. By that logic you either have the world's lowest self-esteem ever or the statement itself isn't entirely accurate.

We have a WINNER!

[LovelyDystopia]

Thank you everyone for all your advice. But I know what to do now

[fyrye]

No insight to what our advice transpired to become?

[LovelyDystopia]

I will let you guys know later.. I just want to keep this idea to myself for now. And if I keep hearing others opinions it might change.

BUT i will let you know after the fact.

[Velocitii]

	Originally Posted by LovelyDystopia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I will let you guys know later.. I just want to keep this idea and if I keep hearing other opinions it might change. BUT i will let you know after the fact.

Good luck with whatever your decision is, but I as with others would like to know what happened after all is said and done.

[LovelyDystopia]

I don't know if you guys want to hear this since it's been a while.
BUT I will say it anyway
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I had a very successful trip and my interview went terrific! Oh and I didn't contact my ex. We didn't see each other. He didn't reach out to me either so.. i guess that's that I have my answer.

[Badger]

That's great! (about the interview I mean) Keep moving forward and you'll forget about the past that much sooner.

[LovelyDystopia]

Yes I'm just moving forward.. to infinity and beyond. :D

And to my surprise I met someone this weekend!

[superflax]

Thank fuck. I knew this would happen.

Don't ask me how, I just knew he wouldn't contact you.

Shots are on me!!! I could do with a drink.

[LovelyDystopia]

	Originally Posted by superflax To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Thank fuck. I knew this would happen. Don't ask me how, I just knew he wouldn't contact you. Shots are on me!!! I could do with a drink.

What exactly are you happy about? That he didn't contact me or that you're right?
hehe
I could use a drink or shot whatevs

[PurpleGiraffe]

	Originally Posted by superflax To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Thank fuck. I knew this would happen. Don't ask me how, I just knew he wouldn't contact you. Shots are on me!!! I could do with a drink.

Of course he wouldn't contact. He put himself out there a little (and put the ball in her court) by telling her to let him know if she was going to be around. She decided to do nothing with the ball.

How was he supposed to know to contact her? What is he, psychic? "Hmm... I think Lovely Dystopia will have an interview this week because my Ouija board told me."

Shit. I have trouble occasionally cleaning on days when I've joking told the cats to clean, because I told those bitches to do something, and they didn't. Lazy bums...
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I joke, but when I delegate responsibility, I'll be damned if I try to take it back. I'll only try to take it back if I see something like the pure worthlessness of my adorable cats with housecleaning, and I don't want my place to be a pigsty... or litter box...

But congrats on meeting someone, LD!

[LovelyDystopia]

Originally Posted by PurpleGiraffe To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Of course he wouldn't contact. He put himself out there a little (and put the ball in her court) by telling her to let him know if she was going to be around. She decided to do nothing with the ball. How was he supposed to know to contact her? What is he, psychic? "Hmm... I think Lovely Dystopia will have an interview this week because my Ouija board told me." Shit. I have trouble occasionally cleaning on days when I've joking told the cats to clean, because I told those bitches to do something, and they didn't. Lazy bums... To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I joke, but when I delegate responsibility, I'll be damned if I try to take it back. I'll only try to take it back if I see something like the pure worthlessness of my adorable cats with housecleaning, and I don't want my place to be a pigsty... or litter box... But congrats on meeting someone, LD!

Well he told me to let him know when I was going. I texted him that tuesday and told him I was going Friday-Sunday. He was already saying how he had plans for friday soo it seemed like he was feeling whatever about hanging out.
HOnestly i dont give a damn
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This guy I met was fun! But I'm not ready for anything serious just want to finish my last semester and get a kick ass job.

But I told you guys I would let you know what happened so we can all drop this once and for all! yay!! this is a time to celebrate.

Another INTJ ENFP failed relationship.. Oh well I hope the rest can make it last...
Or who knows the next INTJ i will meet. O_o

[Bonafide]

It only failed because you let it.

[Ambra]

	Originally Posted by Bonafide To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It only failed because you let it.

Of course, that's how relationships go....

[ManWithNoName]

	Originally Posted by Bonafide To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It only failed because you let it.

It takes two to make a relationship and two to break one.
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[LovelyDystopia]

	Originally Posted by ManWithNoName To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It takes two to make a relationship and two to break one. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Exactly ! Stop putting all the blame on poor enfp here
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I tried you guys don't know half of it because it's in the past now.
I'm cute ^_^ i wouldnt harm a fly

---------- Post added 11-20-2012 at 12:42 AM ----------

	Originally Posted by Bonafide To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It only failed because you let it.

these types of intjs are the ones that are mean...

[Bonafide]

Hey, I'm not mean.

Edit: Just checked your post history. Oh boy.
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[superflax]

Originally Posted by PurpleGiraffe To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Of course he wouldn't contact. He put himself out there a little (and put the ball in her court) by telling her to let him know if she was going to be around. She decided to do nothing with the ball. How was he supposed to know to contact her? What is he, psychic? "Hmm... I think Lovely Dystopia will have an interview this week because my Ouija board told me." Shit. I have trouble occasionally cleaning on days when I've joking told the cats to clean, because I told those bitches to do something, and they didn't. Lazy bums... To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I joke, but when I delegate responsibility, I'll be damned if I try to take it back. I'll only try to take it back if I see something like the pure worthlessness of my adorable cats with housecleaning, and I don't want my place to be a pigsty... or litter box... But congrats on meeting someone, LD!

I did think this but then, it's his responsibility to go the extra mile to get the relationship back since he broke it off. Any move on LD part could be deemed "desperate". Also, it seemed to me that he just missed the familiarity and comfort LD provided, not that he actually wanted her back. Well that was my fear anyway.

	Originally Posted by LovelyDystopia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What exactly are you happy about? That he didn't contact me or that you're right? hehe I could use a drink or shot whatevs

I'm happy about the fact I was right. It sucks that he didn't contact you, but my argument is, he's made his bed, now he needs to lay in it even if he's regretting that decision. You're gonna move on, and up. Don't let his shadow hold you back.

Originally Posted by LovelyDystopia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Well he told me to let him know when I was going. I texted him that tuesday and told him I was going Friday-Sunday. He was already saying how he had plans for friday soo it seemed like he was feeling whatever about hanging out. HOnestly i dont give a damn To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. This guy I met was fun! But I'm not ready for anything serious just want to finish my last semester and get a kick ass job. But I told you guys I would let you know what happened so we can all drop this once and for all! yay!! this is a time to celebrate. Another INTJ ENFP failed relationship.. Oh well I hope the rest can make it last... Or who knows the next INTJ i will meet. O_o

Good on you I say
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Good on you.

	Originally Posted by Bonafide To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It only failed because you let it.

There's a reason why INTJs are said to be not very good at relationships, and by jingle, I think I've found it...

[LovelyDystopia]

Originally Posted by superflax To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I did think this but then, it's his responsibility to go the extra mile to get the relationship back since he broke it off. Any move on LD part could be deemed "desperate". Also, it seemed to me that he just missed the familiarity and comfort LD provided, not that he actually wanted her back. Well that was my fear anyway. I'm happy about the fact I was right. It sucks that he didn't contact you, but my argument is, he's made his bed, now he needs to lay in it even if he's regretting that decision. You're gonna move on, and up. Don't let his shadow hold you back. Good on you I say To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Good on you. There's a reason why INTJs are said to be not very good at relationships, and by jingle, I think I've found it...

Haha you're awesome superflax <3

[PurpleGiraffe]

Originally Posted by LovelyDystopia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Well he told me to let him know when I was going. I texted him that tuesday and told him I was going Friday-Sunday. He was already saying how he had plans for friday soo it seemed like he was feeling whatever about hanging out. HOnestly i dont give a damn To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. This guy I met was fun! But I'm not ready for anything serious just want to finish my last semester and get a kick ass job. But I told you guys I would let you know what happened so we can all drop this once and for all! yay!! this is a time to celebrate. Another INTJ ENFP failed relationship.. Oh well I hope the rest can make it last... Or who knows the next INTJ i will meet. O_o

Fair enough. I thought you meant that he didn't know you were going, and you didn't tell him but told him you would.

We live. We learn. We get better at navigating murky waters (hopefully). Such is life.

	Originally Posted by superflax To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	There's a reason why INTJs are said to be not very good at relationships, and by jingle, I think I've found it...

Haha. But you have to admit that there is a vapid grain of truth to it.
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